TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

19

FR - Dread from guys trip? (self.askMRP)

submitted by ChokingDownRP

Age 40, married 12yrs, together 17, 3 kids under 6. 6'4" 255 lb (down from 283) body fat percentage still too high to bother measuring. Doing SL 5x5, solid early gains, but I'm still a fatass. Unplugged in January. I was a physically fit alpha when we met, quickly turned into a beta bitch after developing oneitis. Sex life has improved drastically since implementing MRP. From starfish 2x/mo to enthusiastic fucking 2-3x/wk...and I don't even look good yet!

A couple of months ago, I planned a trip with 2 friends to tent camp and kayak fish (. Leading up to the trip, she was obviously hamstering, shit tests galore and it was shark week pin to of that. I half expected an unsolicited BJ (these are not frequent, but happen sometimes) given that by the time I returned from my trip would be like 10 days since we last had sex... but that didn't happen, oh well...I didn't ask for it, and wasn't butthurt, it was an experiment to test my SMV, I'm obviously not there yet since she let me leave fully loaded.

The day I left, the forecast was calling for heavy rain, as women with beta husbands do, she threw out a few tests- "are you really going to camp in the rain" me: "yep" and just kept packing. Her: "what if the storms get bad" me: "I'm well prepared for anything that could come my way, don't worry about us."

The trip was amazing - awesome kayak fishing, tent camping (far from roughing it), reconnecting with male friends, talking about our goals, struggles, wives (I talked some RP, but they're not ready). Mostly radio silent with the wife except calls home to talk to our oldest kid and to make sure the younger kids were all ok. If wife started talking day-to-day, I simply said I had to run as we were about to do X (insert fun thing here)... I'm on vacation after all.

The last night, while in my tent, I texted logistics (when I planned to get home, I'll pick up lunch on the way, I'll need a couple hours to clean and put away my gear, etc). A few texts back and forth, and she texted me a house listing (we're starting to shop)... My reply was "you should be sending me sexy selfies instead of listings" - a few minutes later she sent a face and small amount of cleavage pic. BTW, I've never asked for, nor received a single sexy pic from her. I decide to press for more...i told her "it is definitely cute, but doesn't look like you really went for sexy...try again!" Next pic had her shirt off, but nipples covered with her "fuck me" face. "Very nice, you're getting warmer" - the next was tits out, and very nice. She asked for a dick pic and I obliged captioned with "do you want this inside you?" Her: "hell yes" me: "it will be 1st chance I get tomorrow" her: "mmmmm, don't you want to just come home tonight?" RECORD SCRATCH...wtf is that? Old me may have packed up my shit and drove the hour home. At the very least I'd have explained how I really wanted to "snuggle with her tonight," but packing, etc was too difficult. I just responded that I loved the pics she sent and was looking forward to the real thing tomorrow. End exchange.

Today, arrived home as planned, worked on my stuff, played with kids, had lunch and helped put kids down for nap time. Took a shower, wife asked about the trip, asked if it was really just the guys or if we all took our side chicks... she's said a few things like this lately... my standard response is to pressure flip "what reason would i have to cheat" but today I just STFU then she said "you all aren't that kind of guys"...I quickly replied, "no, they brought their wives, who really liked my side chick" with a big smirk (A&A - who is this guy with the big balls all of a sudden?). I then grabbed the back of her neck, kissed her and said "why don't you suck my dick" and whipped it out. She pushed me onto the couch and obliged, then great sex followed.

In the old days, she'd have "let me have sex with her" upon my return (starfish/duty). This was very different, almost like the switch flipped and she knows she better fuck me before someone else does. I don't know if it's the cumulative effect of my changes, dread from the get away, the A&A about my side chick, maybe she's just horny after 10 days of no action? Anyone else had similar experiences following a get away like this? A particular moment where you felt the 1000 foot rope tighten?


[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine 12 points13 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Welcome to the new norm. It means you’re doing it right and she’s coming along for the ride. Good work.

Only thing:

Change: “do you want this inside you?"

To: “I know you want this inside you”

Or “ tell me how badly you want this inside you”

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Assuming she's just coming along for the ride, and there's no main event - (I've been told in a previous OYS that if you started the relationship alpha, that sometimes just being a man again avoids a main event and shit gets on track) how best to overtly vocalize the captain/ F.O. model, your vision and your expectations of her? She wants to be submissive, I handle finances with zero questions from her, she consults me on nearly everything she does (I've insisted that she stop some of it, like calling me from a store to ask if she should buy a shirt for one of the kids). I think she will completely go for the captain/f.o. model, it just needs to be overtly vocalized, do i just sit down with her and lay it out in a couple more months if no main event comes?

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

how best to overtly vocalize the captain/ F.O. model

Have you ever wondered why so very many betas here are ex-military? It's because if you have to be appointed captain, or discuss or negotiate being the captain ... you're not the real captain. Real leadership in small, informal social groups like families is implicitly taken and implicitly acknowledged; STFU and just lead.

Acta, non verba.

[–]innominating 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. OP don’t overtly vocalize anything.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup. Think back to your PLQ, or however they train you guys to lead. Soft power, influence.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you, I'll STFU and keep working out.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

“I've insisted that she stop some of it, like calling me from a store to ask if she should buy a shirt for one of the kids”

I would keep this dynamic. She knows she’s the submissive in the relationship and gladly fulfills the role.

Or you can just reframe it and say “I’ve decided to let you make decisions on small purchases for the kids..” - framing you as the prize still.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

She's a capable F.O. I don't want to micro manage her, or be bothered with insignificant spending decisions like that. I do like that she values my input and seeks my approval, but it's annoying to get that call or text when I'm doing something more important at work. I like the idea of framing it as I'm giving you discretion over this decision.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I use that all the time. I’ve decided to let you choose what you're cooking us for dinner tonight. I’ve decided to let you choose where we’ll fuck, the bed or the shower.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like you've made some positive changes and managed to avoid Rambo.

 

Don't let up, keep steady pressure.

 

BTW, these results you're seeing are normal for a strong male dominated relationship. Congrats on the progress, but this is just the beginning.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't get me wrong, I've fucked up plenty in the last 5 months - DEERing, failing you recognize shit tests, saying and doing things that are way beyond my SMV. I just try to remind myself that it's a long game and when it comes to what i want and expect from our relationship-the stay plan is the go plan. She's a quality woman, I got with her at 21-I was 22 - drove a beat up old pickup, worked in a restaurant and partied a lot...I was definitely not seen as beta bux, but I became it. I suspect she sees flashes of the old me and it gives her the tingles. She's a great mom and adds value to my life... especially now that the sex is good and frequent again. That said, I'm dead set that I will get full respect and frequent enthusiastic sex with her or with the next one. OI has started to sink in for real and time will tell how it affects her.

For the record, I initiated for round 2 tonight at bedtime and got a soft no "it's late, we already did it earlier, I haven't showered & worried about getting a uti. Tomorrow is another day though." I let it go at that, kiss on the head and took off to clean and put away the last of my fishing gear from my trip. Zero butthurt.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Solid FR. Her trying to get you home early after texting pics was a shit test disguised as a come-on. Trying to see if her pussy still held the power. And you aced it. Good work

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

IDK, she told me after I got home that she masturbated during the sexting. I recognized when she made the "come home" comment that it felt like a pussy power test, but could also be that she just wanted a good hard pounding.

[–]Flynnjacklepappy 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you are getting some good results from RP. Don’t forget this is about you and don’t base your progress solely on her actions but reap the rewards when they come. Keep up the good work!

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, you're right, getting these results with her is nice, since that was initially my goal, but it's definitely about more than that. It's about being a great dad, rocking it at work, improved relationships with friends (something I've let side big time), and just living life to the fullest and enjoying the fuck out of it. She has asked questions about my changes and I've really only said "I've realized that I've been lazy in several aspects of my life and I'm stopping that." I'm certain she didn't believe that my changes were real and/or permanent, but they are and they're definitely not for her, they're for me to enjoy my life (whether she's part of it or not - early indication is that she will be though).

[–]Flynnjacklepappy 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It sounds like you have a good understanding of MRP and are applying it well. I like the way you think. You sound like me, get a little good feedback from a positive change I’ve made, push it harder, and look for the next area to improve. I too need to work on stronger male friendships. Keep posting your progress. It’s nice to hear others succeeding at this because it just fucking works! I’m excited for you.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the encouragement. I read a TON of posts here because I KNEW it all made sense and really believed it would work and would help me lead the life I want to lead (which includes getting laid well and often). The hardest things for me at this point are dealing with the anger phase (I put up with shitty, infrequent sex for years. I spent years trying to make her happy so that shed love me and fuck me... turns out I just needed to make myself happy to make her love me and fuck me enthusiastically). I fuck it up on a daily basis, still have covert contracts, say and do unattractive things, etc. I don't claim to have won the game, or even to have it figured out... but I'm thrilled with the early results.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Congrats bud.

Foot firmly on the gas.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know if it's the cumulative effect of my changes, dread from the get away, the A&A about my side chick, maybe she's just horny after 10 days of no action?

all of that

Anyone else had similar experiences following a get away like this?

every time

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter