Let me reply by occasionally envisioning that your life is my life. What might I have done? What would I do now?

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First, why are you (1) solely getting (the kids) ready in the AM, (2) cooking 85% of the time, and then apparently (3) splitting the responsibilities equally at night (though you seem to get the dirty dishes), while also (4) working an extra hour every day at your job?

After dinner my wife and I bathe the kids together, then we get them ready for bed together, then we get them sleeping together.

I would stop doing that as a regular thing. My guess is that it's not particularly unique, fun, or exciting, and that it has instead become like shared chore-play. I would do this with my wife and kids occasionally and it was fun, but as an every day thing I think it's probably not such a good idea, especially since you need to get your ass out of the house occasionally. That is not an easy thing to do, especially with young kids, but you must do it. I did it.

By then it's 8-8:30pm. At this time she showers, while I'm getting dishes done from the dinner we had

Why are you doing all the dishes?

she'll then get the coffee ready (like that compares) and I'll positively reinforce the behavior by giving her attention, (a smooch and say thanks)

Remove the word smooch from your vocabulary. It's a panty-drying word. Hell, it's a man's underwear-drying word. Over time I had that word extinguished from my wife's vocabulary, after, of course, removing it from my own. I remember one day when I wanted to tap her ass hard and she told me to come over for a smooch. I swear I could have become a spree killer in that very moment.

I didn't.

(like that compares)

Comparing what you are doing with what your wife is doing - playing the "equality" game - and quietly simmering - or posting on MRP about the injustice of it all - will get you in trouble. Don't bother seeing who has the bigger muscles, you or your wife, right now we'll assume she does.

I ask about details because I need to better understand.

----- DANGER ZONE ------------>

I don't dare push further because she'd shove me off for acting like a molester (I've tried goofing it off even - going as far as getting my pee coat on with no other clothes and when she came back out flashing her and saying, "That was creepy, but this is what I wear out daily." point is she's just not into me in my current state).

What do you mean you don't dare? Especially as it relates to your wife? I'd like to remind you that you are likely six inches taller than your wife and outweigh her by, what, 50 lbs? You are like a lion to her gazelle.

I'm 6'-2'' and 215 lbs. My wife is 5'-8" and 125 lbs. Do the math and guess how that might turn out. I am 6" taller than her and I outweigh her by nearly 100 lbs. There is literally not one goddamn thing in the known universe I won't dare do as it relates to my wife. Maybe I'm better off not doing something. Maybe I'm wise to avoid. But dare?

Fuck me forty ways 'till Sunday, I won't dare fight a 140-lb dog again. I won't dare challenge a wild gorilla to a fight. I won't dare jump in a great white shark's mouth and try to swim out through his gills.

Dare is not for your wife.

Now, are you saying that you don't dare more than smooch your wife? Is that what you're suggesting right before you segue into creepyville, when you say:

I've tried goofing it off even - going as far as getting my pee coat on with no other clothes.

First, don't do that again. That is creepy. It's okay though, that particular meme has been so overdone on tv, youtube, and the like that I'm not surprised some dumbass, somewhere (you, wherever you live) has occasionally given it a try.

With that said I must focus some special time and attention on this sentence:

I'll positively reinforce the behavior by giving her attention, (a smooch and say thanks) I don't dare push further because she'd shove me off for acting like a molester (I've tried goofing it off even - going as far as getting my pee coat on with no other clothes and when she came back out flashing her and saying, "That was creepy, but this is what I wear out daily." point is she's just not into me in my current state).

If I'm not mistaken you are saying - and I'll paraphrase - that (1) as you are doing the dishes you will (2) "smooch" your wife and (3) say thank you (4) because she has made coffee but you (5) will not do anything more (like put your penis in her vagina) because she (6) would think you were a creepy molester since you (7) once tried pretending to be a creepy molester and she (8) did in fact think you were acting like a creepy molester.

Is that about right?

Point is she's just not into me in my current state.

Why do you think she's not into you? I'm pretty sure I know, but what do you think?

Of course I want my wife to shower - not angry about it just trying to see my complete daily itinerary, I guess to explain (excuse/rationalize) my lack of time.

Remove the "lack of time" excuse from your vocabulary, and moreso, your universal belief system. I did that - on my own no less - in my twenties and it has served me well. You have precisely the same amount of time as anyone else. Now if you choose to utilize that time poorly or you enable another to influence how you spend your time then that is another story.

You asked for an itinerary. Here's mine and it's hell. But I nearly died this past year so I figure my days are numbered anyway and - it's fucking true - I can (and will) sleep when I'm dead.

• I wake up fucking early.
• I go to work until fucking late.
• I sometimes have dinner with my family - we're not great about doing that together enough.
• I play with my kids and do crazy shit until later - like psycho-bike to the beach at 10pm and go swimming in the pitch dark.
• I watch a show or read a book with my kids.
  
• Occasionally, though not often enough at night, I fuck my wife. She's usually tired by this time.
• Everyone goes to sleep. Except me. Now I have a couple hours to catch up and get quality alone time.
• I then go to bed and don't get enough sleep and repeat the drill the next day.

In that time I manage to work out a lot, I get out a lot, I get outside a lot, I spend time - though not that much time - with buddies - and I try to get in my wife's pants.

Point is, I need help. I've been on this road for far too long and always skip back to blue pill conditioning.

No, you don't need help. You have everything you need within you already. Seriously. I get it. Bluepill conditioning. Convenient. I was there once. But then I met something much bigger and scarier and said FUCK THAT and I chose to become a man. You can make that choice too.

It's really that easy. You can strip away all the other words, emotions, behaviors, and everything else. Just...

• Choose you.
• Be consistent.
• Be disciplined.

That's it.

You don't need me or anyone else to give you a roadmap. If you feel like you would benefit from a book or plan or whatever then read the MAP in the sidebar. For the time being you can skip the rest, as long as you're lifting.

I've been on this road for far too long and always skip back to blue pill conditioning. You know how people who exercise and don't see the weight fall off after months of hard work only to find out that they've been eating 300cal in ranch dressing and 150cal in coffee creamer pushing them to maintenance instead of a cut? I feel like an Ebola Dr. Trained to the gills, like I fully understand the core framework but when in the field nothing tells you how to deal with "this" scenario. Then I come back here and get crapped on further and pointed at the sidebar once again where I'm supposed to magically pick up on something I didnt get the first time.

I think I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about but I'm up for the challenge of figuring it out. Once again paraphrasing, I believe you are saying:

• You've tried this before and failed.
• You think you've not gotten results because you were inadvertently doing something wrong before.
  
• You think you get it in theory, but you're starting to realize that theory sucks ass - acta non verba.
• You think you have a special scenario - 'not enough time' - and that no one has figured that one out yet.
• You are sensitive and don't like when the other kids in MRP pick on you.
• You use the word magically in an effort to gain sympathy when in reality it's completely unnecessary.

How'd I do?

When I encounter a challenge I don't know the answer to, I STFU as instructed by MRP, and I look and feel like an idiot because it happens too much. All the while getting rejected once again and this time the knife goes deeper with a, "don't say stuff like that to me, were not in high school or college anymore", then I DEER why it's okay to talk like that and rationalize it by comparing our fucked up situation, that she's blind to, to a seemingly normal relationship that I'm sure she fantacizes about.

Are you lifting? Give me your stats. Don't fake 'em either. Keep STFUing. Stop being so fucking sensitive. Stop telling yourself (you) look and feel like an idiot, it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy. Start telling yourself you're a fucking man, a big man, a man with potential, and a man who is going to succeed.

Don't DEER. Ever. Just stop it. Skip it one fucking time and just stand there, uncomfortably, as the even-more-uncomfortable silence envelopes you. Learn to like the silence. Learn to love the lack of comfort. Is your wife glowering at you? Good. Learn to love her glower. Learn to love conflict.

I did. You can.

More to come my reply is too damn long............