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When you want your wife to get in shape...? (self.askMRP)

submitted by RedPillNewb88

Alright, I read someone's comment in an older post. OP was talking about his wife getting chubbier. Someone had responded with "Have you tried pulling your pants up during sex and walking out because her body isn't doing it for you?"

Has this actually been done? What are some ways you can inspire your wife to hit the gym. I have always been going to the gym and she has never shown an interest. If I say, "Hey I'm going to the gym, you coming with?" She just says nahhh...


[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret15 points16 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

You have to be the kind of guy women want to impress and be prepared to get your needs met elsewhere if she doesn't get on board. That's it. Tell her straight up. This is what I said to my wife, a very long time ago: "I want to have the kind of sex life fit people have". Tell her you want to get in shape, you want her to get there with you, you will support her efforts. If she doesn't? You're still going to have the kind of sex fit people have.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I will do that, and on Saturday, I will take her to the gym. "Babe, be ready in in 10 minutes. I am taking you to the gym"

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Prepare her for it before you say, "get your shit were going to the gym". Ask her what kind of workouts she likes to do. Make her a part of it. Get her excited about it. Take it slow.

[–]ReturnOfTheSwing5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep, gotta make it fun. And when you get her there, give some positive feedback. "You look great handling those weights" "You're getting better every time" Of course, if she is doing something wrong, correct her, and don't shower her with compliments, but women thrive on positive feedback.

I don't think the "You're fucking fat, get your ass to the gym" will work on any woman, but it certainly works for a lot of men.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ask her what kind of workouts she likes to do.

I would make an appointment with a trainer and go together if you what to lead her to fitness. Ask your wife what kind of exercises she likes to do? He should know already and I bet the answer is The Donut Shop Stroll.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

By the way in case you're another one of the spergs, don't actually threaten your wife and tell her if she doesn't get in shape you're going to fuck fit girls.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that would be very ineffective

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not a threat, it's the truth. Nothing wrong with stating the truth.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Leave a trail of donuts leading from your front door to the gym.

[–]abdadaRed Beret5 points6 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

Are you fit enough that she worries about your ever increasing SMV?

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 2 points3 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

I am very fit but not where I want to be. I want to look like a fitness model.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

My wife started going to the gym but only after I had started making serious gains. 1000 foot rope analogy applies here.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I saved that 1000 foot rope post. Sent it to my dad. He enjoyed it.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Link?

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I dont think I have the link but here is the text from the post

"There's something to be said about a man that continues to push for his dream in the face of adversity because he knows in his heart that's what he really wants. But a hard lesson to learn along the way is that if your dream, if your preferred solution depends on someone else buying into it, they may decide not to come along.

The idea is to improve, and as you're improving, practice with your wife...give her first crack to get aboard. We imagine a 1000ft rope tied between us, but that gives the false impression that this rope will at some point pull taut. Not so. It's more like that rope is paying out of a hold in your ship, and you have no idea how long that rope is. It could pull taut any minute, or it could pay out for so long that you could reach your destination, and she would not have moved. And then you realize that it's possible that no matter what you do or how far you go, there's no way for her to be at that future with you. And no matter how real or how plausible that future seems to you, how tangible it seems to be, that if she would just or things would just...that that future just doesn't exist. It's not possible. You made it up.

The hard part is, as much as we all like to think there's going to be a point in time where you know it's time to let go of that future, there usually isnt. When are we ever at a destination? When did you ever know that now was the right time to have a kid? Or that this house was the right one to buy? Sure there could be good indications, but ultimately you are walking off the path of indecision and onto the path of action.

To take the analogy again as life being similar to walking along a path...the path to your preferred solution could be right next to you. You can see it. It's right there. But you can't see a path that leads to it. You keep choosing paths ahead that keep you close to it, in hopes somewhere ahead there's a way. In an ideal world you'd have an overview of where each path leads. But we don't have that luxury. Courage then, is having the ability to take a path without checking all the way down the other ones first...knowing that the choice is a balance between the disappointment of leaving what may have been, and the possibilities of what could be."

[–]abdadaRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

marriedredpill/comments/6i4vvn/captain_rambo/

[–]abdadaRed Beret2 points3 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

What do you need to do to get there? Meaning, are you lacking in muscles or do you have too much fat, or both? What part is actively not evident to her and other women?

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

That's a good question and something that I need to think about more. I want to hit 250 on bench press before I even begin my cut. Right now I am hitting body weight which is 180. Also, I wanted to hit 200lbs before I began my cut, to be sure that I put on enough muscle.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

What's your bf% and height?

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

I am 5'6, 14 % BF but that could be off because I am measuring myself with calipers.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm 5'10" about 175lbs at 20-22% BF and have almost 225 bench. I also have terribly long arms which fucks me on bench. I suspect your caliper measurement is off. That, or you are a T-Rex.

I find a better measure is just eyeballing it on one of those pictures like these: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=bodyfat+pictures&ia=images

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well shit, it looks like I may be in the 20-24 range... wow... but I... need... more... muscle...before... the ... cut. Haha

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Body Fat Photo Guide

Best visual guide I've seen yet.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bro, I fear it's worse. When you stand in front of the mirror, cover one eye. Then compare with the pics on your phone. You can't compare a 3d image with a 2d image, because the 3d image always looks thinner because of depth.

If you are over 25% (you probably are) you really should cut.

[–]HelloImRIGHT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My advice is to kill it more in the gym. We always have things we know we could be doing better. I could eat 4 eggs every morning and that'd help me out a lot but I still don't, idk why. I could up my weight more each week, push a little harder, yet sometimes I only do that two days a week.

I'm sure you could do more. I'm sure you could get more in shape and I'm sure that would get your wife's attention. Once she knows more attractive girls will go for you , she may start putting in work.

[–]JustOneMoreAcct0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

One issue bmi calcs is what about leftover skin? I'm 6'3 195lbs but used to be 300lbs. I carried that weight well (most people figured I was 240) and it was all in my mid section/gut. Now that I lost that weight, I have a lot of leftover skin.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Then you've done enough work to get what you want. Keep going.

[–]Cam_Winston210 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

5'6" & 180 lbs at 14% would be a fair amount of muscle mass that would presumably bench more than body weight .

OP, this is a decent site.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cool, I am going to check this out when I get home later.

[–]abdadaRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

She just hasn't seen it yet, or she sees it but knows "its just one more fucking thing he's committed to for a few months and eventually will be a big pile of trash he refuses to throw out or donate."

Speaking of big piles of trash evidence of other things you quit in the past, have you tended to any of that junk lately?

How's the garage, basement and attic looking? Clean and organized or full of evidence of failure?

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Garage not done.

No basement in our house, no attic that we use anyway.

Everything else? Pristine and fresh. Clothes are washed, dishes are done, floor is swept and mopped. Honestly, we're on top of our fucking shit right now.

[–]abdadaRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm not saying your garage mess is distracting her from the new fit you, but your garage mess is distracting her from the new fit you.

Get hotter, clean garage out forever. Report back. Any anchor you can destroy forever is one more thing holding you back from bailing without giving a fuck. Get rid of those anchors, she knows they hold you down to her.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fuck, I know exactly what you mean. Eliminate the entire list of "To do's"

[–]abdadaRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, it sucks but if you have a list it means you slacked already and can't exit stage left so easily.

Nothing drives a woman to hotness more than "holy shit there is nothing holding this guy back from bailing, what powers do I have to keep him here?"

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You might need to adjust your expectations, if they are deriving revenue from their look, they are on drugs.

Steve cook is a fitness model, is that the look you are going for? He's on drugs. Very attractive dude, he could close with zero game.

This guy looks awesome and I believe he's not on drugs but it's impossible to tell.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BcNZivSAEJV/

He's strong as shit and his squat form is amazing.

Just keep at it, the 80/20 rule works for this. You can look like 80% of that with 20% of the effort, the last 20% is 80% of the total effort.

Edit:

I regret what I wrote, I'm leaving it there anyway.

Who the fuck am I to tell you what's possible.

Sorry man.

[–]C-grij0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What are your stats?

Edit: Nvm saw your answer in the thread.

[–]21bulldog4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What are some ways you can inspire your wife to hit the gym

Hitting the gym probably isn't going to help her much, bro. Buy her a food scale, download FitnessPal, and tell her to start counting calories.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's funny how deep in the rabbit hole your typical BP noob is. The good news is that when you've arrived everything will be so much easier and clearer for you.

All this worry about what to say or not say, how to not hurt her feelings, etc. falls away like the cookie crumbs on your wife's moo-moo. For example, this is how I would handle it:

"Hey babe, I noticed you've been putting on some weight this winter. Don't buy any more junk food at the store. When you go shopping make a list, run it by me first, just buy that list."

Her: "Boo hoo, you are so cruel, you're a terrible person..."

"Yep, I am. I'm a terrible person who doesn't stay in relationships with people who have self destructive behaviors. I love you babe, but get fit or get out. I've got better things to do than managing your impending diabetes medications."

Her: "I can't believe you! I'm going to my sister's!"

"Sounds good. She's pretty fit these days, maybe she can give you some pointers while you're there. Later babe, I'm off to the gym."

The next day:

Her: "Hi honey, can you please look over this list?"

"Looks good, but you forgot one thing....Come give daddy some sugar." F-close

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And this ^ is exactly why I am here at MRP.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Has this actually been done

I think just about every woman posting in Deadbedrooms has a husband who has done this multiple times.

Strangely they never mention this because, you know, personal accountability and all.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you

[–]A-day-one1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I like to cook and when I started to lose weight I took on part of the grocery duties and also cooking duties. Our diet changed from heavy in rice/noodle/pasta to heavy in chicken/salmon/greens.

I didn’t hear you mention nutrition but if you like to cook you can try to plan healthier meals to make it easier for her to control calorie intake.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I do like to cook actually, and we do go to the store as a family and shop for the groceries. Most of our meals are some type of meat, like pork chops, chicken, steaks, with veggies and rice or noodles. Her vice? The damn Dr. Peppers.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Did your wife ever work out at one point?

If she’s never done any type of workout you may need to teach her. You’ll have to find a way to make her comfortable enough to go.

The second option is to tell her you don’t want a fat wife. It’s tough but I took this route with my wife because she started gaining some weight and I just wasn’t going to have it.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

About 5 years ago, I had her going for abiut 2 months and she started to see results really fast. First were her arms, the were no longer flabby. I'm not sure why she stopped.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It’s good that she’s already worked out. Were you praising her and complimenting her on accomplishments? Just about every day I grab my wife’s ass and tell her how firm it’s getting. I have noticed that this works for her and she continues to keep going. I’ve found that for my wife she responds best with positive reinforcement rather than negative. You’ll have to use a mixture of the two but figure out what works for her.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My wife definitely responds well to positive reinforcements.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would work with that and give yourself a time frame for her to get her act together. If the positive reinforcing doesn’t work then you’ve got to step it up and tell her straight with no sugar coating that you have expectations. At the end of the day our wives and their behaviors are a reflection of us. If they’re fat it’s because we didn’t lead them. We didn’t encourage them. We didn’t coach them. That’s how I see it and so far it’s working.

[–]OnesNew0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Did that coincide with the time one of your kids was born? That's a big factor for some women.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

One kid is 8, the other is about to turn 5. I may be wrong on the timeline there. It has to be like 3 years ago because we were bringing them both to the gym with us.

[–]OnesNew0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just looked at your post history, at your height and weight you are bordering on obese. If you tell her her body ain't doing it for you she's gonna laugh in your face. There's no way your body is doing it for her either. No dread here.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm really not though... I look really good. I'm very muscular.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Keep on working out.

Get tanned, wardrobe, fresh hair cut 2x monthly, dread, dread, dread.

I have never said a word. Mine is 49, menopausal, lost 18 pounds and is really determined to keep taking it off, it went on with menopause, thank god she’s taking it off.

A lot of guys will talk all kinds of shit, but it’s dread

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Funny that you mentioned the tanning. I am bald and shave my head with a razor so when I tan, I look a lot better. Last year I got really dark over the summer and she was all over me. Maybe it's time to get my pasty ass back in the tanning bed.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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