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V-Day and all that (self.askMRP)

submitted by Finuul

In my beta days I was the guy who would come home with roses and a card where I'd written an elaborate sonnet, then take her out to a chick flick and take a walk under the stars and all that ... secretly hoping that she'd have to have sex with me. Then she wouldn't.

Last year I decided to cast her interests aside and I brought her to the casino for a nice meal and some gambling. That was pretty fun. We didn't have sex, but I got to do what I wanted to do.

Now that our dead bedroom is more under control, sex is kind of the norm whenever I initiate, so it's a bit hard to go into valentines day without "expecting" sex when I expect it when I want it pretty much every other day anyway.

My plan? I don't know. Do I reward her for how good she's been? Do I ignore the day altogether? Do I screw her brains out first and then say, "Now that that's out of the way, let's go do something"?

Meh, I'll probably just do like I did last year - treat myself to some fun and bring her along for the ride.

Seriously, though: how many of you guys feel some internal compulsion like you have to do something for her on Valentines day? I know she'll probably get me a card and a candy bar. That's what she does every year, while expecting a majorly planned date night from me to her. I don't feel that compulsion anymore. I'm okay with eating her candy bar and letting that be that ... and I dread the thought of reinforcing her sense of entitlement that I better do something because "it's Valentines Day". But again ... there is something to be said for rewarding good behavior and wanting to express appropriate affection for someone who's being good to me.

Thoughts?


[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret18 points19 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I bought some skittles today.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You seem to be excessively invested in your oneitis.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I didn't say they were for her. She might get what's left when I'm done.

[–]LostTie741 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The green one's right? Or maybe the yellow? Hate both of them.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

do they taste different?

[–]LostTie742 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Green used to be lime, which was tolerable. Now it is green apple. I have always hated the lemon of the yellow.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i love tart. my favorite flavor

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LIKE A BOSS

[–]Alphaphux20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I shave my balls

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Red pill MESSIAH.

SHAVE YOUR BALLS FOR V-DAY GENTLEMEN! #ShaveYourBalls #metoo

[–]Finuul[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Meh, I already do that anyway.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

kids . . .

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I might buy her some flowers. I might not. If I buy her flowers it's because I feel like it, if I don't it's because I don't feel like it.

If I buy her flowers, it won't be a covert sex contract, if I don't buy them it won't be a "fuck you" action.

[–]SiegreicherMarsch0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Through rigorous spreadsheet analysis, I've discovered a doubling of flower prices around Feb 14th so I never feel like buying them around that time.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Careful with the spreadsheet jokes

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol very good!

[–]BobbyPeru8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do I reward her for how good she's been? Do I ignore the day altogether? Do I screw her brains out first and then say, "Now that that's out of the way, let's go do something"?

Do what you want to do without any covert contracts.

It’s really that simple

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Biggest day of validation. For both genders.

First and foremost everything is from your frame. This means giving gifts and doing “nice”. Frame above all. Alphas want to share their good fortune with those they love AND deserve it. That’s key.

At the early stages you have no frame. It’s one thing to just give a bag of skittles with a card that says: I hate you less than most people.

And another to just not do anything.

Either way you go do you have the frame to handle it?

Do what you want to do.

It boils down to not allowing someone else to determine how you want to be and live. Men are the most romantic of the genders. We think about it. We plan it. We love to execute it. It’s Our time and attention.

Women? Not so much. They will always say they don’t know what you want which is true if you’ve lived a beta life. Even still they know but they don’t want to admit that’s all you want.

Their body right? Well. It’s your time and attention. No relationship without you.

What do you want?

I’m not going to say don’t do anything. There is plenty of advice in the history both ways. Yet do you have the frame for either answer? This fact hasn’t changed. I’m not going to say do x or y. Valentines is your first test. The best part is it’s an open book test. It’s out there. In the open. So flip the script.

She is the one who wrote the covert contract on that day. Right now you’re at the advantage. She wants and expects your time and attention. So what does she deserve?

You know without doubt you will be shit tested but here some of you are worried about her and what you should do. Lack of frame already. You’re failing.

What do YOU want?

She wants what you are providing (a good time or cash/prizes. Most times both) and “thinks” or knows you’ll expect sex. So literally in her eyes anyone can fulfill your role in the relationship. Come to terms with that right now. So what have you done to prove otherwise?

Ahhhh now we are getting some where.

For her she’s already decided the price of admission. Yes. She has one. She thinks it’s your job to figure it out.

So what’s to be afraid of?

What do you want?

Then go do that.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is good advice. I might try the hate you least card this year.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your frame has to be solid.

Others I have used

  • Not entirely sure I am comfortable with whatever being your valentine entails.

  • I got you this card. it matches your hair.

  • You are so lucky to have me. Just saying.

  • Here's a card on valentines day just to prove I have excellent manners.

  • I looked good today. too bad you missed it.

  • I love you enough to give you an alibi

  • My love for you borders on the inappropriate

  • If you ever saw it even you would agree it glows.

  • I licked the envelope. Should have seen me. It was sexy.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmmmm, ok well on basis of the 'frame made of paper mache' I might take your advice, and go with the cocky funny options as provided. excellent manners one is good - nice and neutral.

Thanks for the examples

[–]The_LitzRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Give her a pearl necklace.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel the compulsion to buy something.... 10 years of BP Oneitis has trained me well.

I used to get elaborate and spend 100+ on her with a well thought out homemade card and like your wife, she would make me a card from white paper and maybe some candy, and I would feel like shit. No sex for my time or money, no reciprocation of awesome gifts. Covet contracts....

I would steam over it for weeks like a needy little bitch. That’s the past...

This year my wife wants a ring and has explicitly expressed this.

I will buy her a symphony bar and pay off debts instead.

[–]SiegreicherMarsch2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of my goals for this year is to get some cool board games in the house, so I'm getting her a game that she'll like and probably a bag of M&Ms (skittles are too mainstream now).

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It’s vagina day almost everyday in my house.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you have a party hat? Is it vagina day if you're not wearing a vagina day party hat?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t need a hat I have a vasectomy

[–]SgtSilverBack4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I celebrated v day early this year.

I let my wife cook dinner and give me an expensive bottle of Japanese whiskey. Damn she's a lucky girl.

[–]NoCoast821 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had to replace my garbage disposal and decideded to straighten up the plumbing under the sink, while at Lowes I saw they had potted Orchids for $9.99.... which is a hell of a deal.

My wife mentioned V-day tonight and I mentioned how Lowes had some amazing orchids but I decided not to buy one because it likely wouldnt be taken care of right and I would just end up taking it to my mom's so she could take care of it. She has a shelf of them in her breakfast nook that do quite well.

After writing this I might go buy an orchid for my mom, she is pretty bad ass and deserves a gift. Also she won't kill the damn thing

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck the flowers. I just bought her a silk kimono - gonna leave it on the bed for her with a note saying

"I’ll be home at 9.30.   I want you in the bedroom waiting for me, wearing this and nothing else

…..except a smile"

[–]FoxShitNasty833 points4 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

I'm not getting anything, it will be the first time I haven't done anything

[–]broneilbro5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This right here. I'm deployed and she hasn't asked for my address and I haven't given it to her. She is probably expecting flowers or something but it was always a covert contract and "oh I MIGHT get laid tonight"

She'll notice it and I'll have to maintain frame as it will be a first.

[–]broneilbro0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

This right here. I'm deployed and she hasn't asked for my address and I haven't given it to her. She is probably expecting flowers or something but it was always a covert contract and "oh I MIGHT get laid tonight"

She'll notice it and I'll have to maintain frame as it will be a first.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Whoa. Deja vu.

[–]broneilbro1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes the RP is hard to swallow. It is definitely a swift kick in the nuts but there is always a catalyst for the rude wakening up.

[–]CasperTFG_8080 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will be out of town for work, makes it pretty easy.

[–]jml1911a10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I celebrate the other Valentine's Day on March 14th.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

BJ and steak day !

Is it covert to put it on the calendar and circle it ? /s

[–]straius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We just say fuck off with the whole holiday, avoid restaurants that night and carry on with our lives.

Besides, they better appreciate the gesture of flowers or whatever the du jour token of affection is when it's unexpected.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Steak dinner. Cigars and whiskey. Titty fuck.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Getting the kids something just to be fun. Nothing for the wife. No real reason, I'm just not feeling it. Is that apathy? Fuck.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

F_ck V-day... Today is Mardi Gras! Buy some beads and toss them at your wife or give her a pearl necklace.

[–]broneilbro0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So funny thing; while I'm deployed and I mentioned it earlier I wasn't sending flowers I read it might be to Rambo...so I sent her not roses but they did the job...

All I got was a a Text and response. Not gift or apology from her for not getting me anything. Should I neg and game her? Don't care but noticed it. Hmmm

[–]Red_Kryptonite880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m getting the wife a bag of skittles.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I bought a card and small box of chocolates. That's it. Don't make a big deal about it, because it isn't if you are the prize.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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