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Told my wife of 3 years, 8yrs together, that I want a divorce... (self.askMRP)

submitted by PrincePacor

2x lifting, 3x rowing, 3x cycling. Told my wife of 3 years, 8yrs together, that I want a divorce about 10 days ago. This week-end I found an appartment I like. Need to close the deal so I can move there asap. I have no children. I am 40, 185lbs x 6' and in excellent shape. In the last ten days read Beyond Mars and Venus, NMMNG!, and currently reading HTWFAIP. I feel like I am escaping from a prison. I'm gidy but afraid to be recaptured somehow. Don't want to look back but we are under the same roof for a while; at least unti January. I have been a classic looser Beta. I have been lazy and settled for horrible sex and horrible feelings and guilt and being emotive and shit. Sooo many sshiot tests failed. God. Fuck all that though - I am so out! I found TRP 2 days after I told the wife I wanted out. You guys are phenomenal. So glad to join this group. Cheers.


[–]screechhaterRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Welcome.

The sidebar has a lot good shit in it.

The iron temple will build frame.

Just remember you are responsible for your shitty marriage.

Do the work and avoid the rinse and repeat cycle

[–]SgtSilverBack2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Something sounds really off here. Troll much?

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If your scared that she’s going to get you back, you’re probably not ready

I'm guessing you haven't even started the paperwork yet.

Rule # 46: Never bring up divorce unless you've already served her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't live in the States and my divorce laws are a lot less fucked up than in the US. We have to live apart for 12 months before we can file for divorce. Right now I am separating by moving out asap. Since I am doing it on Jan 1st - my fiscal year may not be a mess next year (or the next - whenever this shit closes). Also I am using the venutian arts (as well as I can) and this shit works it is ridiculous. My wife is confused as she feels nurtured and safe and at the same time we're separating. I speak very little now. Just let her talk and deflect her few shit tests and ignore her regularly every day and leave without telling where or when I'll be back... And smile at her for now reason... She is very unsure of herself now. And she was a dragon before.

With this newfound knowledge I could save this marriage. I mean I'd still get lame/no sex and be a slave to my wife's hormone cycles but yeah I could manage it. On second thought, as stated above: fuck that I am out.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Who fucking cares?

You provide no information other than dropping a few keys words like, Beta, NMMNG and stating your 185 and six feet tall and in excellent shape. Which we are supposed to just believe....right?

Save this self validation for /r/divorce

How about you share some real details on what your MAP is and how you plan to not fuck up your next relationship.

Do you have a question for us?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Many questions. For starter I want to know more about the men groups that can be found in different cities. I have no friends where I live. I need to join groups and do acitivities with people I can relate to. I need to get out there. Any advice is welcomed.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How comfortable are you socially? Could you walk into a full bar and walk out with a guy friend an hour later? Study the sidebar books. Learn about frame. Learn about saying no. Learn about being your own judge and them.being their own judge. Learn about walking your road "alone".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am fairly comfortable in most social contexts. I do have major anxiety approaching women in a bar though, but I have done it a few times over the years - but I did it badly and approached wounded women out of cowardice instead of approaching the ones I I was really attracted to. It hit me like a ton of brick a little while ago. What was I doing exactly? Unhappy and alone in a relationship. Probably some mid-life crisis shit in there somewhere. I waited before posting to read the intro stuff in sidebar so I have a little idea of what is going on but I want to know a lot more. I am reading as fast as I can - frame for sure is my next reading material.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I am a Chronic masturbator. Porn addict. Weed addict too. Completely dropped the porn and masturbation these last ten days, probably the longest ever in my entire life. Still vape weed every night and asap in the morning on week-ends. Its probably a good part of my anxiety issues towards women. I have a good facade (great job, pays well, lots of recognition; doing a lot of sports, looking healthy, following traditions at Christmas and on birthdays and etc.) but I do not have my shit together. I routinely fuck up conversations with beautiful females. Always have. Did twice this week.

Women, drugs, empty relationships... I suck. Plan for now is read more RP litterature, move out, lift more, stop weed. I do not drink much. I guess I have that going for me.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

For Those That Say Smoking Weed and Playing Video Games is ok

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yup I did that too. Videogames for thousands and thousands of hours. The more I workout the less I play, though. Been working out for 8 years, but I'd say the last 4-5 years have seen a sharp decline in my VG weekly hour commitment. I don't enjoy VGs as much as before and I prefer reading or working out or doing chores around the condo and making myself useful in some minor ways.

Living a Beta life is easy for me; I work and make hoodles of cash, own real estate assets that finances themself and I managed my life so I don't need to do much. So I don't do much. Except work, spend money, practice sports, enjoy electronic entertainments, travel sometimes and generally waste my life. I did go back to Uni a couple years back and got a diploma. That was pretty cool. I was high the whole time. But money doesn't count for me anymore as an achievement. Sure I could be much richer. Whatever. Everything else is related to my purchasing powers except working out (I'm in control here). I rarely succeed in having sex, which is a superb Beta qualifier and having looks, money and muscles doesn't help me to surmount my fear of engaging females. It’s all me. I am the problem. In NMMNG! I saw a link with me being monogamous to my mom. Makes sense. All my GFs have a bit of her look about them. Even on Tinder yesterday I felt the urge to swipe LIKE on girls with glasses and long black hair with a bit of a hippy look to them. Like my mom when I was 5.

Nothing I do matters if I can't get laid whenever the fuck I want to. I don't belong in the middle of a fucking herd. I need that power. That's why I'm here.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

power

The only power men have in modern relationships is the power to walk away and the power to remain emotionally distance enough so that you can exercise your power to walk away at any time.

Usually I reccomend guys read my book right away after NMMNG but I think you need to devour The Rational Male series books and posts first. I think you need to read up on PUA and game, not worry about "saving this low sex marriage."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just wanted to check in and let you know I read half the first book, am working out everyday, continuing reading posts and THANK YOU for suggesting I read Tomassi asap. It is making a notable difference in how I feel and interpret reality. I will read all three books inside a week or two. Kino is crazy. I never knew how to touch an unknown woman in a bar or public setting. I need to look up Mystery Method too. This stuff is phenomenal. Also getting hits from 6s and 7s (and 8s?) on tinder and Bumble. Hopefully I have the balls to meet up, but right now I don't exactly know what to say to them (but learning). Still anxious to meet females but working through it. I want to read more and move out to my new place and get through Christmas before I start meeting up. Maybe I'm being a pussy under the guise of "preparing for my new life"... Feels like I'm not being very courageous but I am doing all sorts of other things to improve myself. No videogames, masturbation, fast food... and no negotiations with the (ex)wife. Is this kinda like Monk Mode? Haven't gotten to that yet.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

So. how did she take it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

At first it was very passive aggressive. She told all her familly we were separating inside 12 hours. 2 days later she offered me the choice to change my mind (and lose face in front of her familly). I hesitated for a few hours but then I started reading and found RedPill. I decided my life was worth more than this. Since then I give her 8 minutes or 2 times 8 minutes of listening per day. I ignore her the rest of the time. She gets to "share her feelings and talk", increasing her estrogen levels and becoming less stressed. I just sit there and listen, sometimes grunt or smile absently. Then at 8 minutes I get up and leave. She begs me for a hug, cries, and goes back to her stuff. She cries regularly of course. I don't feel very bad about that. I always hated it when women cry but now I'm just an oak - I don't react to tears. This stoic attitude and listening passively for 8 minutes stuff is like magic. I always loved to talk and am high strung - not anymore in front of women.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

(and lose face in front of her familly)

wait, she thought this was a threat?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Unclear. She speaks as if it is fact but keeps alluring that it doesn't feel real, that she's still in denial, that she wants to stay in this condo, that she doesn't want to have to move, that I'm not helping by being around since she feels like her respect for me is increasing and she misses me more now than ever before. Its just a giant shit test to see if I really have the balls to leave. If I stay I am pure beta.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

if you stay, you are pure brain damaged.

also - whats your home country?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed - I would be brain damaged as well. I am in Canada; Ontario and Quebec are the two provinces where I live and work.

[–]izual190 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Should have just served her the papers and stfu.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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