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Hi,

I'm getting better at planning stuff and generally taking initiative and being in charge. One problem that I'm having ist that I don't really know how to handle couples where the wife is taking charge of everything (and usually does so not very good).

I can mitigate some problems like poor planning on her part by taking charge of the planning (that part is easy).

But what I'm unsure of is with whom do I coordinate in advance or during an activity? It feels wrong to not coordinate with the man, but if I coordinate with the man it will usually not lead to the desired result, while if I coordinate e.g. logistics with the woman it works out.

How do you handle those situations?


[–]markpf7313 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It is painful to listen to the 3 hens cluck away about plans and never reach a consensus.

When I find myself in this situation I give the location for the first stop of the night - drinks, live music etc. This usually makes the group forget about their lack of direction and consensus. Once having a good time at my first stop I tell them the second location (I've made reservations without asking anyone - I just do it). And by the end of the night we all had fun and they just said yes one step at a time to a well laid out night.

I've tried it other ways that caused them to label me as a "my way or the highway person".

I'm not saying I'm right. And I'm not living in mRP shangri-la. Lord knows I'm getting shit tested left and right by my wife in super-shrew mode today. Im not passing all with flying colors but doing better than I could've 12 months ago.

[–]SeamusAwl1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmm. I like that tactic. Looks spontaneous as well. Even though its planned out.

[–]RPlemonslice[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great tactic. I'll be sure to use it next time.

[–]2ndalRed Beret10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Treat the blue pill man like a woman.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do what you think is effective. If the guy is taking a back seat, why would you try to coordinate with him?

It sounds to me like you are wanting everyone to follow this shiny new red pill you just found. Most of the people won't and you need to accept that. Just be a good example, maybe people will follow, maybe they won't. Shouldn't bother you either way.

[–]RPlemonslice[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Spot on. Thanks for pointing it out so clearly. Together with /u/2ndal comment this now all makes much more sense.

[–]downvotesanimals1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Funny, I always find these situations to be the easiest to navigate since there's no negotiation required.

[–]RPlemonslice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a very good perspective. Thanks!

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wholly Fuck coordinate with who contacts you.

This is about you taking charge of your ship. Not theirs.

Quit worrying about stupid shit that adds no value to you.

[–]RPlemonslice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. Interesting perspective. I did not see it that way at all. I'll be sure to remember it.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I constantly have this with my some of my family when we visit them in their city. I let them cluck for a while, then just firmly say XYZ sounds good and get everything in motion to leave.

They have to voice what they think, but want the decision taken by someone else. The suggestions are flying left right and centre, but nobody wants the responsibility for the decision.

In your case, work with whoever contacts you. There is a drawback which I have come across. When the wife of the other party leads the planning she might contact your wife directly, bypassing you for whatever reason, be it she thinks you are also a bitch like her husband or not having your number.

But when you are together take the lead if you see no action being taken. Do not try to show you are the AMOG, it is silly when you try and it is not a competition you need to win. You will become AMOG by default if you are indeed not a bitch.

EDIT: Don't be too surprised if the other wife shit tests you.

[–]RPlemonslice[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I haven't come across the shit tests from the other wife. Maybe I haven't noticed them as such. I'll be sure to look out for them! Thanks!

Yes, her contacting my wife does indeed happen and complicates stuff. Like when I text logistic information and she continues the conversation with my wife as if my wife had texted her first. I guess this will improve as I continue to take the lead.

Thanks for a very interesting perspective man.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She will only probably only shit test you if she is attracted.

[–]RPlemonslice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah, that's a good point. Guess I need to lift more until I reach that stage.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've found subtle tests from other women at times. They don't necessarily want to have sex with you, but they will give a mild test in order to gauge you.

Women are always testing. AWALT.

Even if it is just to put down her chump even more.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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