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[FR] Camping Trip (self.askMRP)

submitted by RPWolf

Looking for some perspective on a couple of things that happened this past week.

tl;dr - Gone on camping trip for the week with no contact. Wife sends affectionate texts and then fucks me after 9 months as soon as I get back. Why now? and many shit tests after.

Been posting in OYS for a while now but missed last week since I was on my annual camping trip with my brother and my two oldest boys. This is a traditional camping trip that I have been doing for 20 years now but started doing with my boys for the past 5. I have explained to them why my brother and I do it. Mainly, kids today don't know any struggles. They want for nothing. Everything is disposable. This trip if nothing else gets them out of the screens and lets them see the real world for a week. During this trip we canoe down river for 3 days taking all our gear with us and pull over in the evening to camp. We have 3 days to go 30 miles on the river. We fish, talk about life and just focus on nature. It is hands down the best bonding experience I have with my boys and my brother. We force them to take care of their own gear and camp site. It is great and we always end the trip with a steak feast at the local steakhouse near where we get out of the water.

So this trip is 5 days long. There is very limited cell coverage, if any at all. My SO is at home alone with our youngest (not old enough to go yet). When my phone comes into coverage there are a couple texts from my wife saying how she wishes she could have come cause it always sounds so much fun. First, no way in hell. My wife can camp but this is my thing with my boys and she knows this. Not to mention we've been doing it for years without a peep of her wanting to come along. About the 3rd day when I get a signal I get good morning, love you texts. I haven't gotten one of these in months. I text back when I can with updates but am mostly radio silent simply because there is no coverage. Her texts are progressively more cheerful as the week goes on. Finally, we get out of the water on the last day and I send her an update that everyone is alive and good. SHe responds back that she cant wait to see the boys and is glad we are all good.

We all get home from the trip on Saturday and are disgusting. Havent showered in 3 days, beard stubble, stink, smell like camp fires and wet clothes. I pull in and start unloading the car with the boys. She was at the store and rolls in 15 minutes later. She gets out smiles at me but I dont run over and get all in her shit as I would in the past. I keep unloading the car. She comes over to me and I give her a big 10 second kiss. She comments on the stink but laughs and goes into see the boys. I finish unpacking.

After completely unloading, getting everything squared away and starting laundry I roll upstairs to shower. She is sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her phone. I roll in and we start talking. She goes to stand up and I push her back down on the bed and jump on her stink and all and just start kissing her neck etc. She doesnt stop me. Now, I have been in deadbedroom for 9 months so inside my head I am like ok when is the hard no coming. I smell like Bigfoots asshole and I wouldnt even fuck me. She doesnt stop me. I raise her ass up to take her pants off and she says something about the kids. I stand up close the door, lock it and take my pants off right there and pull hers off as well. I proceed to cave man her and she is giggling about how bad I smell but at the same time cumming. I even reach up and start choking her as I am fucking her and she leans into it!! I end by cumming in her, hopping up and jumping in the shower. She literally passes out on the bed and when I get out she is still laying there in the same spot in bed.

Now I could tell afterward though that she immediately went back to her cold self. I was going to my buddies 40th birthday party that night. Normally I would have bailed after the trip and stayed home with her but I didn't. I went and had a good time but was getting shit test texts all night. Yesterday I tried to initiate in the morning and got a "it was so long since we fucked, I am sore as hell", I just smirked at her and went and lifted. I was getting shit tested the rest of the day and I just did yard work I had planned on and STFU.

So I guess my hamster or logical side is getting the best of me. Why now did she decide to fuck after 9 months? I can clearly see that she is shit testing me to see if she made the right choice. I am also guessing all the love you good morning texts were her hamster kicking in with all the alone time on her hands.


[–]470_2_700_nm10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What you are describing is a normal woman's behaviour to a man they are attracted to. They will place themselves in a position of availability for a man they desire. They will literally find a way to get in front of you. This is how sex for them "just happens".

Why is it working now? Simple: because you are in that instant in time attractive and valuable to her. Right after you come in her she begins to doubt, and looks for a crack in any facade that may be present.

Don't flinch. She will pick up on it. Carry on as you have been improving, adding value and so on.

Great job. Just realize you can't ever let your guard down. Hyoergamous doubt will creep back into her, and you need to play the game to win.

[–]hystericalbonding4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dear MRP,

I implemented sexual strategies that have worked since the dawn of time, and my wife fucked me. I'm very confused, or maybe just humble bragging.

I hope you ignored all non-essential texts during the party. Was there an emergency that only you could solve? If not, then she should wait. She can earn your attention, especially in person, but she's not entitled to it at all times just because she exists, any more than you are entitled to sex from her.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.0[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

getting laid once in 9 months is hardly a humble brag. I was more curious at the timing of it happening and the onslaught of shit tests following seeing how I was barely even being shit tested up until now.

Yes, texts were ignored.

[–]hystericalbonding8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was barely even being shit tested up until now.

Emotions good. Apathy bad. She didn't respond to you flirting with other women. That was a bad sign. Now your absence on a camping trip was enough to get her attention. You're on her radar. She actually gives a fuck. Shit tests are foreplay.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Maybe she is finally starting to see you as the alpha? As the leader? As someone who owns his shit? Someone who DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK?

Or maybe she is going through some hysterical bonding after fucking Chad while you were away? Afterall, you've cheated on her before, so what's the harm in getting a little revenge on your sorry ass?

The truth is we're not mind readers and have no fucking clue. Keep improving and stop questioning every little change in her behavior- you are operating in her frame.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.0[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've experienced the hysterical bonding years ago when we both cheated on each other. This isn't that. This was I don't know what. I do know it wasn't worth the 9 month wait but I guess I have been told that the whole time huh? I do know I am not taking my foot off the gas pedal, thats for sure.

[–]straius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is what you've been working towards and starting to feel success can be daunting, the bigger the goal, the bigger the feeling of unease as you start to achieve it.

Like others have said, the work never ends, you maintain or perish back to lazy misery.

As you continue internalizing and cementing new patterns, you will begin to just expect the results. There's no substitute for time and consistency in regards your wife settling in to your frame.

When she starts to bounce back to old behaviors, now you know it works and you have to dbl down on not reacting emotionally, being amused by her anger, shit tests, whatever...

Congrats. The process is working.

Just got home yesterday from a 3 day boys trip, same thing. It's normal once attraction is felt more solidly.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hint: it's working

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Don't hamster about it and keep working on you as before.

Why now did she decide to fuck after 9 months?

There is probably no scenario that you were probably not going to ask this question after 9 months of nothing. So, it doesn't really matter why or how it happened. Stop hamstering, keep initiating, don't get butt hurt, and keep working towards being awesome.

Oh, and congrats, BTW. I really do hope this is a turning point for you and something to build on for the future.

I think I was actually getting blue balls myself just by reading your past OYS updates.

Anyways, time to put it behind you and not have any resentment about the wait since another anger phase could set you back.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.0[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Since you've read my OYS, I think a lot of my surprise and confusion was that my SO never even confronted me about the flirting texts with the co-worker or the OPSEC stuff. I have been waiting for that "talk" for a while now but don't ever think its coming, which is fine by me.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Let's illustrate. She has her frame and you spend most of your time in it.

You spend too much time in her frame hamstering with OPSEC and worrying about potential confrontations.

You go out and do something manly, don't respond to texts, come back home, take charge and fuck her. Hmmmm, sounds alpha to me and she responds appropriately. She was probably laying there afterwards hamstering what the hell happened and how you pulled that off and how she went along with it. You became Neo for a moment, did everything right, and handled shit tests and all she could do was submit.

You know what to do now and you have seen the result. Will she always be DTF? I don't know. But, she probably wants to fuck the guy who acts like a man even though he smells like bigfoot's asshole rather than a pussy that is planting a GPS in her car and is wanting to verbally spar with her over trivial shit.

Edit: Removed a poor attempt at drawing a box on Reddit

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.0[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Spot on. Thank you!!

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have been waiting for that "talk" for a while now

I didn't point this out in my other reply. But, if you read this back again. Who is leading who? Who is in charge of the narrative here? You are passively waiting for things to happen. Waiting for her to do things so you can react.

Go out and make things happen for you. I think in a way you are waiting for the good results of MRP to just kind of "come to you". This is very passive. It is good to not get butt hurt and all, but you can't just become so passive that you don't do anything when stepped on.

The positive side effects of MRP come to you because you go out and make that your reality. You make things happen for you and you shape and mold the world around you.

You can't control the outcome in every aspect of your life, but you can control your reactions and how you are going to respond. Your boundaries are also only what you are willing to accept.

[–]askmeanything20 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

what is the birth control situation?

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got a vasectomy 3 years ago after we decided we didn't want any more kids. I however was to much of a slack ass drunk captain to get the follow up checkups to see if it actually took. My wife didn't trust it so she got a hormonal IUD put in. It all but stopped her periods and cramps so she has left it in even after I went back for the follow up exams to prove the vasectomy took.

[–]sevennineone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would agree with a lot of the responses here.

It seems like she has noticed some change in you and wanted to see for sure. Hold fast and keep being the prize.

[–]Downhere_Seeds-3 points-2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If you want my theory, it's a little different. My theory is you went a week without fapping, you actually wanted sex and your wife wanted it too. Fapping will rob you of your sex drive. If you want more sex, stop fapping and do it.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.0[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

No this theory isn't it. I am not saying I never fap but it is very few and far between and never to porn. I made the mistake of doing the 90 days of no fap, no porn, no sex activity in NMMNG. The upside was it helped me remove porn from my life and also remove the pussy form the pedestal. The down side was my wife latched onto that as 3 easy months without having to worry about me bugging her for sex.

[–]Downhere_Seeds0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Interesting. Sounds like no fap, no sex, killed your sex drive. Do you try and escalate every day?

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.0[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not every day but most days I will try to initiate at least once. After 9 months I was always expecting a no. I try to game and always use kino. I am still very clumsy at not sounding autistic when gaming my wife. The months of rejection piled up the awkwardness for me. Trust me absolutely still have a sex drive. I have just suppressed it to avoid the rejection until recently.

[–]Downhere_Seeds0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good deal, at least I can relate to that. It can take me a week or longer of kino and escalating before my my wife finally comes around, depending on where she is in her cycle. If I'm not trying though, then the shit tests really come in.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can attest to this.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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