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11

Sex is not the goal.. Just a nice side effect. (self.askMRP)

submitted by eyeswideshut73

Probably like most men i wondered onto this site because 1. i wasn't getting enough sex and 2. i was tired of the constant arguing and bullshit that was occurring. When i first got on the sites i gravitated to the post about sex and dread and how to increase your % of getting laid!!! The more i read the more i found myself less worried about getting laid, and more worried about how i was living my life, to the point i found myself not worried about my ltr and obsessed over how i was handling my life. I think the eyes wide open moment is when i realized that the goal was not to get laid but to gain back my man hood and handle my shit and get myself in order(which by the way i am a long fucking way from doing but everyday is a new challenge) to lead the ship as i have read... Getting laid is just a nice side effect of reclaiming all of that ...........i.e. she now wants to fuck me because i am the man she wants, not the fat-ass beta pussy she was married to. Just wondering if this is how it went for most of you guys or is getting fucked the main point and i am totally of the fucking rails ?!?!


[–]BrazilRedPill3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You are right, congrats, that's in the sidebar.

You improve in way that you become a high valuable man. Women like this. Your wife is a woman. She will like you.

[–]nopeToThe43rd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great Success!

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Somewhere along the line, I realized that a big part of wanting sex for me was really just wanting validation. Once I got past that, I still enjoy sex, but I'm no longer desperate for it in the same way. My ego isn't wrapped up in it anymore, so I have a much healthier relationship.

[–]recon_johnny0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I realized that a big part of wanting sex for me was really just wanting validation...

This small post has paid me more dividends than much longer ones recently.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In a healthy relationship sex counts for 10%. If it is missing it becomes 90% of the problem.

Lack of sex leads to validation seeking, low self esteem etc. I am sure you can fill in the list like hundreds of guys here.

Once sex is restored you stop focusing on it and start looking at the rest of your relationship. What kind of value do people bring to your life, how by doing xyz for others are you benefiting?

Welcome to your new normal.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Welcome to high level shit man. Youll like it here, its where the dividends pay out

[–]recon_johnny0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So, being an idiot, but completely spelling this out...:

This stated epiphany of goals, unlike the original RP sub, is about getting your shit together and leading--managing your life for the better. Once done, the pussy will follow as a matter of course.

The original is all about the pussy, and everything there is about managing everything in life to get more.

Am wondering if this is why there was contention in original sub against this one. Perhaps they see the goals as incompatible.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It may not be the same girl as when you started.

Ever read the preface to nmmng?

And their goal is identical, albiet in a different way

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's what I'm finding as well. Came here to improve the sex life, discovered it was me that needed improving, worked on improving myself, sex life improved as a by-product of the self improvement, sex life is no longer primary driver of continued improvement. Being the best man I can be and living an awesome life is now the primary focus.

[–]eyeswideshut73[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

yes that is true ! the only problem i have is being patient!!! Seems like i read and read and lift everyday and keep pushing.... but it takes time, i guess it took me several years to get myself into this shit, its going to take just as long to get out!

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said. It's a journey. Don't back off. Find some balance.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

99% of people come here wanting to fuck their wives. Most of them treat that as the main goal and constantly measure their progress based on sex frequency. Consequently the first intention may be the most important but they may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant. You can get sex from anywhere you want, but they put that wife pussy on the pedestal and treat it as the mrp prize for a job well done. Once you become more attractive you have a whole other set of options of your wife/life available to you.

You could do the MRP stuff even with a wife that fucks you 4 times a day like a porn star and completely respectful of you. The dividends you would reap don't even being to take measure just yet. A quick list of goals that I like to see new people display.

  • Lifting Weights
  • Passing shit tests
  • Not taking the wife so seriously
  • Dropping a habit
  • Improve their income
  • New found attraction from other woman
  • Making new friends and breaking out of their social bubble
  • Set a goal and work towards that goal

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not taking the wife so seriously

for the more advanced players :

take her as seriously as it deserves. If its serious address it. But dont let it affect you.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good point, forgot I was in askmrp for a minute.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

actually, so did I

[–]JustOneMoreAcct0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For some of us, we were bad leaders and to much of a bp for so long that the sex just never came back. Rollo had a post on women retiring from sex a few months back; that applies to us.

For me, this means continuing to improve myself for the time when my kids are older and I become single again.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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