How to respond?

BrazilRedPill · 2017-04-06T18:33:13+00:00

3) I could download her phone including erased photos, text, and WhatsApp messages, which would either confirm suspicions or set my mind at ease. But maybe that's a really pathetic and insecure move on my part, even if she's done the same thing to check on me and there's confirmed history just a couple years ago.

Do this shit. If your imagination is leading you to divorce without any proof, at least know the facts you can reach. You sound like it is easy as hell for you to download her shit, so fucking do it.

If you find nothing, you will know how insecure you are. If you find something, next her.

rp_findingmyway · 2017-04-06T18:38:35+00:00

Oh for God's sake bud, move on from her. She's literally dripping with Top Gun's cum when she gets back from her nighttime "walks".

Yes, given she's gone well over the line in the past, all her personal shit should be available for real-time inspection by you. You aren't going to like what you find if you take the time to do that.

Lawyer, sidebar, lift. Sorry about the kids. Awful, but not your fault.

Edit: typo

anythinginc · 2017-04-06T19:51:16+00:00

2 years ago wife had a thing with some pilot dad in the neighborhood.

https://www.chumplady.com/2013/07/real-remorse-or-genuine-imitation-naugahyde-remorse/

Humility. Cheating is about entitlement. Being truly sorry is about humility.
Initiative. Real remorse books its own shrink appointments. Real remorse does the homework. Real remorse does not need to be cajoled, wheedled, or dragged by its ear.
Honesty. You can’t cheat on someone without lying to them. Real remorse spits out the truth. All of the truth.
Patience. Real remorse understands that repairing a relationship after infidelity is a long haul with dubious prospects. GINR wants to you to “get over it” already because hey, it said it was sorry.
Ownership. See Humility. Real remorse wears the shame. Real remorse takes responsibility for the fallout.
Recompense. Real remorse understands that reconciliation is a risky investment. GINR wants you to assume all that risk and how dare you ask for any assurances, because don’t you trust me? Real remorse puts its money where its mouth is with a post-nup with an infidelity clause.

Adding #7: Privacy. Real remorse recognizes that they should have no expectations of privacy in their comings, goings, or communications and make every effort to be open and transparent. If their cell phone has a password, their partner knows it and has access to it.

She doesn't sound very remorseful.

3) I could download her phone

So, I wouldn't even bother to hide looking at the phone. I'd have divorce papers ready. When you think the time is ripe just tell her to hand the phone to you because you're getting a feeling, and you don't like it, and because she made you a fool in the past, and you're not going to let these feelings build up inside you. If she doesn't hand it over immediately this time (and every subsequent time) then hand her the papers and tell her to sign them.

2) Do I say anything or do I just keep my mouth shut until/unless I have a smoking gun?

The sooner the better so you can negotiate her zero interest/ownership in your new business. Unless this woman getting half of what you have built since she has last cheated on you sounds fair.

1) Am I being a pussy

Only because you don't have the balls to walk without a smoking gun after she has already cheated. The only reason an alpha needs to leave is that they know they can do better. Can you do better than this? Worrying about phones and hickeys and late night walks?

screechhater · 2017-04-06T21:01:01+00:00

Hello and thanks for spraying my shoes and pants legs with your puke

Let me get you a glass of water to rinse your mouth and I will clean off my shoes. It's alright. The feeling is Once, Shame on YOU, Twice, FUCK ME!!!!! It's quite common you know.....

It will be very helpful to print your post and connect the dots, because you are blinded by the oneitis

Once you realize "X" marks the spot of cheating, or whatever is going on, you can therefore realize the feeling that is tightening around your prostrate is the sinking feeling, that there is something terribly wrong

There are a lot of terrible things going on the world, but you need to identify this terrible situation as a break in trust, and the stinging feeling of all the rejections and butt hurt feeling of .... what the fuck ?

It truly is ok, take the goggles off, smash the pedestal and examine what she is. Once the oneitis is completely gone and anger has set in, review Athols advice on how to deal with a cheating wife, as in call her parents and ask both her parents to be present on both lines. Speak. Contact your attorney and draw up the papers

It's ok, the feeling is adrenaline, but be cautious to not let the adrenaline rush dissuade you from proper behavior as you being the better person. Working through MRP. we come to realize, we have standards, and quite frankly, she is not meeting yours.

Here, have this glass of scotch and as I put my arm around your shoulder and love you bro style, let's talk about your future, and lay out how you are going to get through this and have a bitchin' life, due to her giving you a newly minted "free pass." Cheers Bro !!

ReddJive · 2017-04-06T18:02:28+00:00

yep. You're a pussy.

get your shit together and start acting single. She's all but asking you for a divorce.

weakandsensitive · 2017-04-06T19:26:09+00:00

I also go to the library to read new books that just came out that are not available elsewhere...

dude.......

come on.

mrpthrowa · 2017-04-06T19:37:37+00:00

Anecdode:

You know, last week i went to the library I met this married woman with a child. She was hot. She saw me picking up the hobbit for my son, then she proceeded to smile to me and tell me how awesome it is. Then she started talking about an operation she wanted to do on her eyes. then we went on and on about books and stuff. Then she started telling me about her plans to spend more time away from her house because she and her son want more "freedom". She told me how her husband snores and how she wishes he was sleeping downstairs because of it.

I told her I'll be interested to know how her operation went, she gave me her number.

Where do you live again? I haven't texted yet, should i? lol

drty_pr · 2017-04-07T04:01:13+00:00

She is probably cheating dude. You may never find out though.The question that remains is:

If you leave her under conditions where she spins you as "untrusting" for leaving her when she wasn't cheating on you, do you have the balls to take that shit on the chin because you did what was right for you?

If not, you better work on it. Because GIRL POWER doesn't give a fuck about you and will be on her side. Probably even your sister(s).

RedPillQuest · 2017-04-06T19:14:59+00:00

Are you fucking with us?

BobbyPeru · 2017-04-06T19:10:55+00:00

Trust but verify. She's already been busted once - guarantee she gave a partial truth on the pilot.

IBeMadToo · 2017-04-06T19:24:11+00:00

I know she kissed him "once" and watched him jack off on FT "once".

I'm sure that's all that happened..... You don't go from kissing "once" to watching each other masturbate.

mrpthrowa · 2017-04-06T19:28:31+00:00

Sorry dude this one is lost too.

She'll never respect you. And you will never respect her.

She will never respect you because she crossed the ultimate respect line and you did not leave, she got her high from the hormone cocktail of cheating and she'll want more. Worse, she has a pavlov connection in her mind that cheating = better you, because that's probably how you woke up to the red pill and started putting yourself together.

You will never respect her and so you will try to overcompensate for this. you will always be on the edge, you will always be thinking of cheating when you see anything suspicious. I guarantee no amount of evidence and full transparency is going to remedy this. It's a vicious cycle, it's no way to live. The human male species is so hardwired against being cuckolded that it will forever be disturbed like an unreleased undead forever at the thought of the one he's supporting cheating.

Start making plans. Life is too short for this shit.

[deleted] · 2017-04-06T21:49:17+00:00

Leave her dude. She's not interested. The reason she's not leaving you is because she's using you. You shouldn't have to be downloading her phone contents and shit. I'm sorry but she already sees you as beta af. You lost her. Now she's just using you. Move on...

Terribledragon4Hire · 2017-04-07T00:03:34+00:00

Frick. OP I always try to give the person the benefit of the doubt and I usually the last one to scream "she's cheating". But this looks so bad.

I would suggest you get your ducks in a row and talk to a lawyer just to make sure you understand your rights.

If you can gain access to her phone then look and get proof.

weakandsensitive · 2017-04-07T01:11:03+00:00

You're firmly committed to lying to yourself - so I think you should continue doing that.

I hope to god you don't claim to be red pill, because blind men can't distinguish colors.

Didn't we just have a post on trickle truth? Jesus, if I were a woman and knew men were so blind and spineless, I'd be fucking chad on the side too while telling my walking ATM about how tired I was.

ParadoxThatDrivesUs · 2017-04-06T18:42:54+00:00

Not to rub salt in the wound, but she had a full-blown affair with the pilot. Your response - buy her a plane ticket to her parents - immediately telegraphed to her that you weren't going to leave or enforce any consequences at all.

Do you really need her shit in your life?

JDRoedell · 2017-04-06T19:15:47+00:00

Verify.

Have an exit strategy ready to execute that leaves you in as good a position as possible.

You have no evidence, as you suggest, but you have a lot of indicators.

chief_slap_ahoe · 2017-04-06T19:29:43+00:00

Always. Always. Always trust but verify.

tslextslex · 2017-04-06T21:34:04+00:00

Cognitive dissonance is a powerful force. You are in the full sweep of it now.

Try this: Read your post as if it were written by another man about another woman.

See?

Gaetanorex · 2017-04-06T21:40:30+00:00

The only question you should be asking yourself is if you want to get balls deep in her ass one last time before you put her shit on the curb.

SpaceKapitan · 2017-04-07T12:33:34+00:00

I could download her phone including erased photos, text, and WhatsApp messages, which would either confirm suspicions or set my mind at ease.

Nice, what program do you use, with what OS?

But maybe that's a really pathetic and insecure move on my part

Fuck what anyone else says about this being insecure, if i had a way to find out if my wife was cheating on me with 100% proof that i couldn't deny, it would make my decision so easy i wouldn't even think of it as a decision anymore.

To paraphrase what I've heard someone say here before - "The worst part about having a whore wife, is not knowing that she is a whore wife."

And as BrazilRedPill says:>If you find nothing, you will know how insecure you are. If you find something, next her.

If you find nothing, you can start looking at what you need to fix in yourself, and why your gut instinct was wrong.

jtzabor · 2017-04-07T12:30:50+00:00

Having more information is always a good thing when it comes to making a decision. But i also feel that if you think she might be cheating the relationship is pretty much over anyway.

UEMcGill · 2017-04-07T14:08:49+00:00

So here's what I would do. I would tank my current job. Sit around the house and get fat and lazy for like six months. Then soon enough she'll announce she's moved onto the pilot to fly friendlier skies.

Then when I get served divorce papers I'd have no income to show for it and all she'd want to do is get out.

I certainly wouldn't start a new business that she could potentially end up with an equity stake in prior to divorce. It's the long position but I like to be strategic.

Dude. She's cheating. Why even verify? Divorce. Get your best machiveli on and protect your assets. She didn't stop with the pilot. She just went under ground.

RedPillQuest · 2017-04-07T18:32:02+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate that advice! Gotta figure out how to move past the fear.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-04-08T14:24:24+00:00

In honor of the coming neocon war: Doveryai no proveryai.