Baby blues

The_Litz · 2017-01-20T08:54:25+00:00

Don't worry, the sex will pick up when she decides it is time for kiddo number two.

Seriously, at 14 months she should not have post-partum depression. it is something women have early on after birth. At 14 months chances are your wife is just plain old tired.

By being a Beta billy throughout her pregnancy you have proved your commitment, regardless of your needs she knows you won't leave because you have a daughter together. She does not experience any dread.

She is well past the new mother stage, apply Bluepill profs stages of dread.

man_in_the_world · 2017-01-20T09:48:18+00:00

My physique is improving, career is going well, but she hasn't desired me since the pregnancy. Nothing I'm doing seems to be working and I need some help refocusing my efforts.

To quote /user/BobbyPeru from a few hours ago:

If you can't hold frame and pass shit tests, all that external stuff is meaningless.

Focus your efforts there.

Every ache and pain was cause for attention and concern.

Start by reading NMMNG.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-01-20T12:32:39+00:00

Nothing I'm doing seems to be working and I need some help refocusing my efforts.

Bet you she can sense your covert contract mentality.

I would have left her by now if it weren't for our daughter.

Probably what she thinks too. So why try as you aren't really going anywhere.

Divorce is always on the table. Have you built up your Fuck You Money? Of course, it's not to hang over her head so she'll suck your dick. It's a mindset that allows you to start forming a spine. Even in the face of divorce.

What books have you read? The curriculum changes your mindset because it forces you to STFU and internalize.

Because I think your skipping brain day or at very least starfishing those poor, poor books

resolutions316 · 2017-01-20T13:57:12+00:00

There is a lot of legitimate things going on with any new mother:

breast feeding both raises "anti sex" hormones in the body and can make women feel "touched out"
lack of sleep
new schedule/lifestyle raises cortisol
difficulty during childbirth (if you had any) can lead to tearing, scarring, and generally feeling "unattractive down there"

In my own experience, I also stepped up so much in my eagerness to be the "perfect husband and father" that beta'd myself into oblivion. The anger and resentment is incredibly real.

If I might point out - and I see this in others pretty readily because I see it in myself - you are still harboring a massive covert contract.

"If I follow MRP's advice, my wife should have sex with me."

"I've abolished all my covert contracts, so my wife should have sex with me."

These are, perhaps, the hardest things to let go of.

abdada · 2017-01-20T14:08:03+00:00

I'll say very little about your wife (try it sometime)

She has her perfect life script. She has a loyal, dependable, nice enough man, who will give her what she wants, when she asks for it, and quietly sit there, "understanding" her feelings when she wants them. Life is perfect, all the setpieces are in place, and she can wait for the next emotional whim to achieve, thanks bro!

the female solipsistically maintains a frame that has herself at the center of the picture. She might be "self-less"...but she still has the "self" front and center. --Ironwood

Forget about the wife for a minute, lets talk about you.

I wonder, if I got inside your head, would I will find all kind of living vicariously through others, need for finding an 'other' to blame things on, and other bitch behaviour? I'm guessing yes.

I'll bet you don't lift either, nor have a life outside of your wife. Maybe a low N count (lower than hers anyways, but that's usually a given). You treat her like a princess, very understanding, because you have a giant covert contract. Choreplay and emotional tampons don't get rewarded.

You need to get this through your thick head, past the ego protection, or what you think you're entitled to.

You are given exactly what you've deserved. You are not a prize, you are a setpiece, in the play that is her life, and you play the role willingly, constantly handing over any measure of control to her, as if she will appreciate it and suck your dick. You're not a man, you're a plow horse, and probably a shitty one that don't plow so well either.

Do you know what you want? I don't mean do you know what you're supposed to want, but that actual thing you don't tell everyone, because you're embarassed that you want it? Yeah, that thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, get your philisophical house in order

Do you lift? Are you the prize? out of all the hours in a day, how many are devoted to making yourself valuable enough that you can command what you want from the world? Do you think that's adequate?

Do you even have the irrational confidence for the value you currently have? Or is everything mirred in self doubt, over thinking things, and general inaction, because you constantly assume the worst case scenario will happen?

Have you accepted the low priority and opinion she has of you, and just owned it? You are needed for sperm and a paycheck, thats it. Feels good right? She doesn't value your attention or affection, yet you still offer them. No one wants salvation army shit.

You ain't special, you're just like every other man here, who has the same way out. Sidebar, lift, work. Own your shit threads are great for holding yourself to account. Don't expect her to touch your dick with any parlor tricks, and get to work.

atlhart · 2017-01-20T14:49:12+00:00

What are your stats? Weight, Height, BF%? First off, be physically attractive. If you're over 20% BF, then STFU and LIFT.

Next, what level of dread are you on? Do you dress nice? Are you going out with friends? Do you belong to a social or sports club of some kind?

Finally, are you owning your shit. Is your house in order? Do you procrastinate on shit? Does your wife feel like you are a man-child?

Keep working. If she's not fucking you, then you've got more work to do.

[deleted] · 2017-01-20T17:45:19+00:00

Work the dread. And gain control of your emotions. You're still a scared boy in your head without true abundance mentality (I'm not talking about other women. Other women will always be there).

On a practical note, get her a job. Kick her out of the house 3 days per week. SAHM is a shitty life for a woman that's a control freak. If she refuses, keep working the dread to the point you can make ultimatums.

weakandsensitive · 2017-01-21T04:11:20+00:00

My daughter is 17 months old. I can't relate to you at all.

Pregnancy, I was doing my blue pill darndest to take care of her.

Oh. I see. That's where I didn't make stupid dumbass decisions. Sex and making sure that we still interacted as a couple was maintained as a priority by me, but not by you. The whole notion of no sex was ridiculous and not even an option for me. Guess how long it was between either sex or blowjobs for me. Seriously - feel free to guess.

All of my wealth is in investments (in a protected trust), only pulling in 5 figures right now because I'm working at one of the startups my family owns.

Is this impressive? It sounds like you're a trust fund baby and couldn't succeed on your own so mommy and daddy gave you a pity job.

ski vacations, she hates skiing;

So you take her to do things she hates.... that makes sense. Sounds like good leadership. If this said "I go on vacations regularly", it'd be a whole different thing.

Thanks for giving a biased breakdown of someone who totally doesn't matter.

I have no idea why you're misdirecting your anger at your wife when you're the 100% total faggot who's sprinkling a little bit of more faggot on it.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-01-21T15:41:46+00:00

Since the wedding, sex dropped off. Things improved greatly when we started talking about a baby... eagerness, frequency, etc. Made me think things had been fixed so we went off birth control.

This is the inverse of some TRP guys who have a praexology for convincing the girlfriend to have an abortion: Be nice, talk about the future, lead her to the abortion clinic, then dump her ass a week later. Rinse, repeat.

This is the female equivalent and the precise inverse: Cut off sex until he is desperate and compliant, then suddenly be nice, talk about the future, fuck him into a coma, shit out a baby, cut off sex. Rinse, repeat.

Watch this video on How women manipulate men

bala-key · 2017-01-20T13:21:41+00:00

Our daughter is now 14 months old.

Is your wife breastfeeding?

You might be going up against her hormones in addition to other challenges.

dandar4600 · 2017-01-20T14:02:02+00:00

My son is 13 months old so I think I know what you're going through.

First, is your wife breast feeding still? If so that will lessen her drive and energy considerably.

Second, is the baby sleeping through the night? If not, that will make her more irritable and tired.

It does get better as the baby gets older and starts to sleep and eat like older kids do. Until then you need to have some patience. Sex once a week right now may have to be something you have to be willing to tolerate. Just keep lifting, recognize and pass shit tests and don't forget to own your shit around the house. Don't expect her to do everything just cause she may be a stay at home mom. Eventually this shit will turn around and then repeat as you have another baby.

I was having sex with my wife 3-5 times a week before she got pregnant with our second. Now it's more like some weeks I'll have it twice and other weeks I'll have it none. But my son still won't sleep through the night and frankly I just don't feel like gaming her most nights. When I put in the effort and game her she will be responsive if not it's TV and sleep night.

NevrEndr · 2017-01-20T15:01:31+00:00

Shit test: "I'm tired"

Response: "I'm horny, let's fuck"

Shit test: "I just don't feel like it tonight"

Response: "I'm horny, let's fuck"

Shit test: "Not tonight, the baby might wake up"

Response: "I'm horny, let's fuck"

These phrases are not hard no's, she's testing whether you will push through her bullshit or give up easily. At least in my case, pushing through with humor or dominance leads to sex. Just keep pushing. Be persistent. Make sure you are gaming her during the day. If you're ignoring her all day and then suddenly initiate sex you are going to get shot down a lot of the time.

RPAlternate42 · 2017-01-20T21:35:07+00:00

All of this is due to attractiveness, more than anything.

I'll speak on what I can speak on best, from this post: your weight lifting.

You've been at this for 6 months and all you can do is bench, Squat, and deadlift 165 lbs? You are 6 feet tall and 165. You are a skinny bastard.

Why have you ONLY made it this far after 6 months?

After 6 months you should be doing at least... AT LEAST, 1x on bench, 1.5x on squat and 2x on deadlift for 1RM. And you should be into a 6 day a week PPL program and about ready to get into a Periodization program like 531.

Tell me, in a PM what the fuck you have been doing with your fuckarounditis in the gym and we can get into cracking this thing wide open for you.

screechhater · 2017-01-21T00:23:26+00:00

Wake the Fuck up and start lifting seriously.

Can you pass a shit test ? Probably not. Actually talking about the mowing and such, you are in her frame.