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Vasectomy (self.askMRP)

submitted by ornerycrank

Is there any MRP reason not to get one? I'm 39 and am 100% certain I don't want to father any more children. I've been responsible for BC for my entire marriage. Wife is unwilling to get on BC for no particular reason. I'm really tired of condoms.

I'd decided to save for one (will cost about a grand, not covered by my medical insurance) but Athol Kay in MMSLP specifically advises against it.

Do vasectomies lower a mans SMV or otherwise reduce the dread a wife might feel? Are the advantages worth that trade off, if so? Thanks!


[–]TheRedStoic 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go for it. Definitely. Freeze some for surrogacy later.

Born sterile, got burned to be certain at 24

There's nothing like hearing "I'm pregnant and keeping it" then handing the papers to her friends or family to give to her. (Because of course you don't want to communicate after that)

Let the social world decimate her and happily volunteer for a paternity test.

[–]ImprovingMan 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I would love to get everybody's take on this. I would worry that it might impact your wife in some subconscious way, and I have also read that is a fear. But I have heard other guys say that it has been fine, with regards to attraction. I have heard a few scary stories about pain never going away.

I asked my doctor about it one time and he said they are effective and very safe. I asked for his personal opinion, in addition to his professional opinion and he explained that the risk in his mind was if the marriage failed. He said he sees a lot of guys that got divorced, met a younger woman that wanted kids, and then were looking as getting the procedure reversed. So I didn't pursue anything after hearing that. My marriage isn't in bad shape but you never know what can happen.

[–]RedPillAtNight 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Left for appointment at 11:45, was home at 1. A week or two of minor swelling and was good to go. Would do again in a microsecond 10/10.

[–]lionmenden 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I have been looking into this, too. I've heard:

"Best decision ever" - from people who are "spinning plates" on TRP and don't want to risk having a child.

"I thought it would improve sex with my wife, but it didn't" - from family and co-workers, people with families who I know personally.

I'm inclined from the stories to think that it's a good choice for bachelors but not marriages.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

"I thought it would improve sex with my wife, but it didn't"

The lamest BP covert contract I have read in awhile.

If you do not want to have anymore kids in marriage or are plating, it is the most effective BC with near-zero long-term negative health effects for either partner. It is the only male-controlled BC other than condoms which suck.

Also, vasectomies can be reversed in most cases.

[–]lionmenden 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

It sounds like a covert contract, but it's not. In most cases the wife said "I'm worried about/too hormonal because of/don't trust my birth control. You should get a vasectomy so we can have more sex without me worrying/being hormonal/having to use condoms". The guys didn't just volunteer to cut their junk, their wives suggested it and said it would lead to more sex.

It's a compliance test, not a covert contract.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

A compliance test is "fetch me some water" because your my bitch, and I want to prove it. There is no quid pro quo as in a covert contract.

I agree the above example is not covert. I guess you would call it a double hamster contract since they both believe their own bullshit rationalization as to BC being the reason for lack of sex. If a woman wants to fuck, BC or pain will not stop her. Have heard the statement from a woman many times "just stick it in" (i.e. screw the risk, just fuck me).

[–]lionmenden 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess you would call it a double hamster contract since they both believe their own bullshit rationalization as to BC being the reason for lack of sex.

So sad and so true.

A compliance test is "fetch me some water" because your my bitch, and I want to prove it. There is no quid pro quo as in a covert contract.

There's also "fetch me some food and I'll give you a blowjob later" which is still a compliance test. Somehow she always has a headache later.

Then there's "get a vasectomy and we'll have more sex" and again the guy complies but the reward evaporates.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't always ignore compliance tests. Listen and then man up and make your own decision with real and open expectations instead of covert contracts.

[–]SDSAM21 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have read several threads on the topic. This point seems to be the mass consensus.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not every woman wants kids or more kids. A vasectomy and no worries about pregnancy is a huge turn on.

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

My husband got one in 2006, best thing ever! Sex life has been much nicer since no fear of getting pregnant ever again. He was ready to go 3 days post and has had no issues.

[–]lionmenden 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

What does your husband have to say about it?

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

That's the best thing he ever did, we can have sex whenever and have no worries.

[–]lionmenden -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was expecting him to speak for himself on that.

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

He hasn't visited this sub reddit in a while, I'll let him know.

[–]lionmenden 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not trying to run you off, just was curious why you were here and he wasn't.

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because I read all the subreddits I am sunscribed to every other day and he doesn't :)

[–]bsutansaltTRP Founding Father 4 points5 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

I was surprised by the sudden and sharp decline in interest from my girlfriend at the time when I got mine. It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective why women wouldn't feel drawn to a man they know can't knock them up.

[–]SDSAM21 -1 points0 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

Bingo! Nailed it. And there is no competitive dread.

[–]assured_destruction 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What a bunch a pussies. Its very minor surgery and no more condoms no more bc pills to forget. Who df would have a second family just cause you found a new girl? Oh.. beta boy thats who,

Make your decision, find a good urologist, not the family gp, and just do it

[–]lionmenden 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Did it work for you?

[–]assured_destruction 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got the wife pregnant twice, on purpose, it was extremely easy. She's now beyond needing BC and I banged her bareback for 20 years. Of course not always in a place that would knock her up :)

No surprises, no worries. So yes, it worked.

[–]SDSAM21 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

I did it. I wouldn't do it again. The is a mental impact to your wife. She knows you can't get the nanny pregnant, so she is less motivated to keep you satisfied.

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife 4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Bunch of crap. I was actually super happy to never get pregnant again and to not have to think or worry about it is making things much nicer for both of us. We have 5 kids and it's plenty. 10 yrs after the V and we still have loads of fun.

[–]lionmenden 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This is a wife telling us this.

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes a wife who was indeed very happy and still is, we didn't want anymore kids it was the best decision for us.

[–]SDSAM21 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point; guess that struck a nerve. The book is titled "Sperm Wars" not Semen Spats.

[–]SDSAM21 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

YMMV

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Jesus, looks like you won't have to hire any help come harvest!

I'm a family of 5, couldn't imagine the decible level at your place right now

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Our daughter is grown and on her own with her boyfriend and 2 daughters and the 4 boys are 10-12-14 and 16 and in school during the day so it's not to bad :)

[–]lionmenden 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

To me this comment is the most important. No one else has seen this?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't do it. Period. That's my prerogative. Some people would.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Why is this your stance?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

I would never do it. I don't want any more children four's enough I'm pretty sure, but if I changed my mind and wanted to I could. I'd hate not having that option. What if I get remarried and feel the need lol???

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yes, this is why it weighs on me as well.

Also, and perhaps /u/iratemd can answer this... If you're unable to ejaculate semen and it builds up, doesn't that become uncomfortable? For example, the unpleasant feeling you get now pre-vasectomy if you haven't released after a period of time, is that not related to semen build up or is it perhaps the prostate fluids instead that creates the "full" feeling?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Pressure does build up enough that some guys get epididymal blowout. The sperm leaks, forms a granuloma, then gets resorbed by the body over months. They hurt a tiny bit when bumped. I have one - it's no big deal.
 
The full feeling that shortens your endurance is from the seminal vesicles, not the testes. That doesn't change after vasectomy.
 
Blue balls is unrelated.
 
Vasectomy doesn't affect testosterone production.
 
I'm glad I got a vasectomy. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

When you mention the full feeling as related to endurance, I don't mean during he act of sex. I mean that "full" feeling you get when you haven't ejaculated after several days. Or are we talking about the same thing and I misunderstood you?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pressure slowly builds in the seminal vesicles. That pressure sends signals that shorten your fuse. That pressure probably also contributes to the full feeling. I think it's less likely to be from the prostate, but it's possible. But it's not from the testes or the vas.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you.

[–]bornredd 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

We went with IUD. Wife was having minor psych and behavioral/emotional issues due to hormonal bc pills. Swapped to IUD and it's never been better.

I refuse to have my balls fucked with after all the surgeries I've had.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seconded on the IUD. If the V was 100% reversable, I'd probably get it done tomorrow. I just hate not having the option. If vasigel ever gets approved though, I'll be the first in line

[–]BanginAway 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Not for me either. My being in control of birth control is insisting she got an IUD. Even the remote chance of complications or lower value is enough for me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, those things are the best thing ever, until vasigel is approved anyways.

Why wouldn't a girl get one? OP try that first, theres talk about her lizard brain getting turned off, don't know if it's true or not...

[–]Griever114 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Simple question:

Do you want anymore kids?

Make your decision on that premise. SMV has nothing to do with shooting blanks. Remember, you can still fuck other women (dread). Shooting blanks has nothing to do with that. The threat of leaving her is the threat.

[–]lionmenden 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I took a quick tally:

  • 4 did IUD or other birth control
  • 2 did vasectomy, had issues and wouldn't do it again
  • 1 did vasectomy, had issues but would do it again
  • 3 did vasectomy, no issues

That's pretty split. But what I found interesting was that the "do it" were pushed much higher up in votes than the "you'll regret it". Vote brigading!

[–]turbosympathique 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A vasectomy is fine SMV wise. Just keep up the good work and don't over think it.

[–]Itstinksoutthere 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you do drink pineapple juice. I had my wisdom teeth pulled and hen the next day went and got my vasectomy. Bad idea in hindsight but I'm not one to take a bunch of time off of work. I was told to drink the pineapple juice by my oral surgeon. Happy coincidence was no swelling for the vasectomy as well as the teeth. I think in Athols case it's do it because you want to do it and not because your wife or woman wants you to do it.

[–]cnlcpltx 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read my comment here

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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