TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

9

Assuming all else as it should be - lifting, leading, not succumbing to this test or that... what's the advice surrounding an ongoing resistance to kino, physicality, touch and the like?

Couple examples: pulling close to me while she's making tea, strong embrace, planting a few deep kisses; back rub then move to ass while she's at sink or counter; a gentle feel up and down when she's in bathrobe as she passes by.

She doesn't return, some "stiffness" in response (her, not me) and as often as not, pushes back/off/out.

While sex frequency and quality is slowly improving (still way to go), I'd expect this to have been the easier part - i.e., more engaged response to physicality.

Suggestions? STFU/OI when pullback occurs, or push through and not let her go even is she's trying to?


[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The bottom line here is that she's not attracted to you enough to want you to be touching all over her like that. She'll come around as you keep improving yourself and your game.

In the meantime, I would get out and do other shit more. Go shopping and buy some new clothes, then go hang out with friends or something, then go start a new hobby or activity. Spend enough time away from her so that she starts to miss you. You sound kind of clingy from this post. Stop worrying so much about her rejecting you and spend your time on more useful endeavors. She'll either come around or she won't. Either way you'll still be better off.

[–]ThrowTheEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah have to admit fair point and good advice....

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The important part is upping your SMV as much as you can and getting her to miss you. Shit, even if ryan gosling or whoever was always up on their girl all the time and stuff she would get bothered and probably shove him off.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

push through and not let her go even is she's trying to?

Your wife isn't attracted to you, pulling her close and forcing it on her is the opposite of what you should be doing. You know what drives prices demand up? Low supply.

Make yourself a commodity. Instead of always giving giving giving, take your time and attention away until she wants the kiss, affection, etc. Even then, you only give it when deserved.

[–]SexistFlyingPig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Attention from someone unattractive is never a commodity. He needs to physically improve.

[–]innominating1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Raise your SMV. Lift heavy, often.

Don't rub her back, it looks like you are negotiating desire. Give her a firm slap on the ass. Grab her hip and pull her into you. Bite her neck quickly then pull away. Always pull away first because you have shit to do. Which means you must have shit to do.

[–]ThrowTheEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Makes sense... Don't prolong and give her opportunity to test control. I like it.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Try gaming her first with passing shit tests, laying innuendo out there, etc before doing kino.

Sometimes I think that because we're married, we "forget" that our wives are women like any others...would you expect some chick at a bar to reapond positively to what you described out of the blue? Of course not. Set the stage by flirting with your words, eye contact, and body language. Get her to laugh at a shit test you pass using agree & amplify THEN smack her ass. Make it playful, not sappy/needy

[–]SexistFlyingPig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Attention from someone unattractive is never a commodity. He needs to physically improve.

There is no game here. He's not attractive, and it's gotten so bad that she doesn't even want him to touch her.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just stop then. She isn't going to return the affections, so you are wasting your time. I realize it probably hurts a bit when she is cold, but you will get over this. Keep up the kisses hello and goodbye, but keeps things casually businesslike.

No need to cold shoulder her, but stop advancing in her. Follow the dread steps correctly and in a correct timeline, increase your SMV, and she will come around.

I'm guessing you're pretty new, so just keep the attitude in your head of , alright, later on then...

[–]Redneck001Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just stop then. She isn't going to return the affections, so you are wasting your time

I agree. Stop wasting your time trying to seduce a woman that acts repulsed at your touch.

Keep working on your shit. You can't expect years of fucking up to be fixed because you read some shit on Reddit. You MUST make changes, and she must notice theses changes.

There's going to be a lag, where you're killing it in most aspects of life. But Wife is still apathetic. Just be prepared. And keep working on yourself.

[–]pullypants1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd stick at it, but try to make it fun and casual not overtly sexual, but agree with the posts who say you need to improve to the point she wants contact.

Try to avoid the negative bias by spotting the wins. If she's pulling back but sex is improving, it's working. Try other ways of asserting, eye contact, play, dicking around, playing tricks, joking.

It takes a while, but when it starts to work, it's fucking ace. I've gone from complete cold shoulder to her pulling my hands onto her. Keep at it.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Two pieces of advice.

---1. Cut your Kino in half. I would do it on alternating days and make clear the connection in her mind to getting touched by her husband and getting fucked by her husband.

So on one day you are affectionate and such. If you have sex then you continue to be affectionate. If you don't (after you skillfully initiated) then you IGNORE her and GET BUSY the next day. Come home and go straight to bed. Then initiate Kino the next day. If she withdraws rinse and repeat.

I wouldn't judge "stiffness" as a "rejection." However, obviously pulling away is a clear rejection.

---2. I would use more "supportive" Kino (hand on back of neck, shoulder, low back) rather than "escalating" Kino (grab assing, kissing, lightly rubbing the neck, front of legs or crotch/breasts).

Remember, Kino is "training your wife to be touched by you." If you use it to much she will not see it as a positive feeling from a strong man but by a desperate feeling from a trapped man. Kino can and should be used through the day BUT you should never overdo your Kino or make it desperate or "creepy."

[–]ThrowTheEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pretty measured response and makes sense. Apply it when appropriate, natural, and when I want to, in the way I want to ... But in a way that's not full-on over the top.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Not knowing your history; I will ask the question is their a history of any successful KINO leading to your immediate initiation?

[–]ThrowTheEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You'll have to clarify, I don't follow

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

He wants to know if your wife has eagerly fucked you following your skillfull escalation using Kino. If not, then you are doing it wrong and misreading her signals. If yes, then you are doing it at the wrong time and failing to pick up on her signals that you are supposed to "Just Get."

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. The "Just Get" is the hard part.

[–]ThrowTheEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah, right. Yes, if/when I've decided I'm getting fucked tonight, I'll kino from roughly when getting home from work, and up it little by little. Still strikes me as covert though, "I'm doing this now therefore you should respond as hoped later, etc"... Having said that, it works more often than not.

The mixed message I get in these various answers and the mrp sub in general is, A) use kino sparingly and appropriately, vs. B) apply that shit all day every day from the minute she wakes up.

Different dudes respond with what works for them so no issue in understanding that I have to sort what works for me and go with it. May be experimental time over next few weeks...

[–]0io-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I find it works better when she calls you over into the kitchen, or when she bumps into you. If she's busy making tea and you grab her from behind while she's holding a kettle of boiling hot water, it could be annoying or dangerous. If you're reading a book and she comes in to ask you a question or something, you can set the book down and grab her without there being a situation of your going over and "bothering her."

But basically I think keep it up, over time it works great. Just make sure you're walking away from her a lot more than she's pushing you away. If you're going down into the basement and she happens to walk by, you can grab and give her a quick kiss and then continue on down to the basement.

Contrast these two situations:

  1. You're busy. She appears. You notice her, you kiss or feel her up, and then you go about your business. If she wants she can continue this and turn it into something more. This works well.

  2. She's busy doing something that requires some concentration, you come in and interrupt her, now she's annoyed and you've irritated her. This works less well.

[–]SexistFlyingPig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's done with you, but hasn't figured out how to go through with divorcing you. She's hoping things will get better.

Get your ass to the gym and stop eating so much fucking ice cream.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter