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Ok, so I figure it's confusing the issue she's bringing up. But, anything specific?

There was a post on MRP that someone suggests asking SO about emotional insecurities, STFU, letting her talk, then fog. Then fog some more.

So, I'm looking for a few examples, if anyone has them; or a different definition if mine is wrong.


[–]jcrptaRed Beret 8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

"Fogging" is basically agreeing with everything the other person says.

You use it when someone is picking a fight by accusing you of things that they'd expect you to get defensive over. It stops them in their tracks because it's impossible to pick a fight with someone who agrees with everything you say; it's like punching fog.

(It's also absolutely hilarious the first few times you use it with a partner who's always been able to wind you up like that before. She can't very well demand you get upset because that'd mean admitting she was picking a fight. She'll get more and more wound up and she won't be able to admit why).

[–]itstartstoday123 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

So agree with the true stuff that she says in a "well,.....yeah" sort of tone and ignore the rest of it? Not a "no shit, Sherlock" tone but but more like a "yeah, I do think puppies do some funny things" sort of tone.

And then watch the hamster trip over its own legs?

Fogging has always been a fairly foggy topic for me. So I'll fog my wife this week and then attempt to clear the fog on my fogginess over fogging.

[–]jcrptaRed Beret 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Have you read WISNIFG?

Do so. It can explain this much better than I.

[–]SangeliaStorck 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Normally when a person is being fogged. It is being done by one or both parents. They've made the one who is fogged unable to see anything clearly. That they were made to assume that anything a parent says is the only truth supposedly. The parent(s) involved are unable to see that their offspring is an adult. That it should be up to that person to have a spine. Even if it is against the parent(s) as well.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also, the first google hit on "fogging":

http://www.newlineideas.com/team-fogging.html

Fogging is a simple technique used to slow down a potentially unpleasant situation, give both parties 'space' and prevent the situation from escalating further. It works by offering agreement rather than disagreement to someone acting in an aggressive manner.

When someone makes an aggressive comment, they are expecting an aggressive reply (this is most people's natural response) but fogging surprises them by giving an unexpected response. It is a way of sidestepping their issue whilst retaining your viewpoint and integrity, by agreeing with some part of what they say.

For example, if someone said to you:

"You behaved pretty stupidly in that meeting. What were you thinking?"

Rather than enter conflict, you could try to fog them, by replying:

"Yes, I can see that you think it was a pretty stupid way to behave".

The word "yes" takes them by surprise, slows them down, and can reduce the tension in a potentially explosive situation. You are not agreeing that you had behaved stupidly - only that you can see that they think so.

When you are in next in a situation that could develop into serious conflict, try this technique and see just how well it works. When done with sincerity, many times, rather than further conflict, the situation is often quickly reversed, leading to an opportunity for further, more constructive conversation.

The technique outlined above might feel strange at first, but it is one of many simple techniques that enable calmer, productive communication between adults.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I see your point about fogging; what do you think about it?

:)

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see your point about fogging; what do you think about it? :)

you sure seem like you see his point about fogging, what are your thoughts about thinking about it

[–]RealEstateRockstar 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure is a foggy day outside. Foggy McFoggerson.

[–]ford_contourRed Beret 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well played, sur.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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