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ADVICEHow do you find balance? (self.RedPillWives)

submitted by Riversly

I have recently become a stay at home mom. The first month was a dumpster fire because I was depressed about how terrible the transition went (my daughter was very sick, I had to quit suddenly over doing a two weeks and every thing was thrown for a loop).

I have discovered the traditional mom and homemaker lifestyle that I was NOT raised to follow, and I love it! This is my calling from God, I truly believe that.

But how do you balance homemaking and time with the little one? My LO just turned one yesterday!

Any tips appreciated.


[–]Madiposa6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m a SAHM. My LO turned one this summer. I’m still struggling to find balance but a year has taught me a few things:

-don’t refuse help. Making a job of being a mother can make you a little territorial with tending to baby’s needs. It’s good for you and LO to share that responsibility with willing (and vetted) family and friends.

-schedule your day. And try to stick to it! I have 2 time slots for homemaking responsibilities each day (outside of nap time). They’re short bc LO still needs attention often but they’re valuable.

-try to incorporate a toddler activity with whatever home chore you’re working on. It makes your project 2-3x longer but you can actually get it done without your LO freaking out about not getting to hold/destroy what you’re doing.

For me, planning has been the most important and most challenging part. It is making me a better person but there are growing pains!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kid has turned one? That's a surprisingly difficult age. Mine couldn't be alone at that age for more than two minutes, which meant I was either wearing her in a wrap or interacting with her in some capacity. Because of this I relied on my husband to either clean or we ordered a ton of ready-made food.

It gets easier at 2-3 in terms of being able to multitask. The kid becomes a mini dictator with its own challenges, but your hands become freer.

So in terms of balancing... I wouldn't expect to be able to manage all at once without some help, either a paid maid, extended family, or expecting your husband to carry some of the load.

Also I think /u/thatbadlarry and I had very different experiences. There was no such thing as routine when my kid was 1. Sleep was erratic, stepping out of the house was contingent on when others could watch the kid... but I agree about meal planning. That always helps. But ready-made meals ruled my house around this time.

[–]thatbadlarry2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Routine routine routine! Having daily routines (cleaning, cooking, play, self care) and weekly (meal planning, groceries, errands) will give structure to what could easily be chaos. I also got into the habit of making dinner in the late morning rather than right at dinner. There was nothing I hated more than starting dinner at 4 with an empty rumbling stomach and cranky kids underfoot!

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