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Here is the article

I thought this was a nice article. The concept of being a SAHM came up recently with my SO, and although we both agree it's best for the child, it's simply not possible with our incomes. This isn't the traditional standpoint I expected, and it resulted in him explaining to me that the child will be fine, and will grow up with good morals and discipline regardless of whether I work or not. I trust and love my man. If he says the child will a-okay, then it will be.

The line that stood out to me the most is

What about if we were all just honest about what we want?

So, I want to pose the question, what do you want out of your relationships/SOs?


[–]GratefulWifeandMamamarried 9 years13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I came to her blog through this sub last year and I love her now! I am definitely in that first young lovers category. We live a very budget conscious life right now. It can sometimes feel like everyone has more or nicer things that we do, and often that is true. But I would not change a thing. Being able to hang out with my kids all day, chase my hobbies, practice self care, keep a nice house, all these are things that would be effected by my energies being put elsewhere. I didn't know what I was getting into though, and I do wish I had understood more fully what this lifestyle really entailed, so as to not have the first few years be such tough learning experiences. Would I have listened though? Probably not.

What I want is to be 40 and laying out by the lake with my husband drinking a beer while our kids swim. I want to be 50 and having him crush me in racquetball then crushing him in tennis. I want to be 60 and throwing him an over the top party for his retirement with all our friends and family (and grandkids please). I want to be 70 and come home from playing bingo with the girls to go for a walk with him. I want to be 90 and holding his hand on our porch.

[–]HammockSwinginMid 20s, LTR, 1 year[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Aw, you made me tear up. <3

[–]GratefulWifeandMamamarried 9 years0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aw, you're sweet. And what do YOU want?

[–]jonlojoie0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

i wish psych drugs hadn't ruined my life - I want this but I am ruined

[–]GratefulWifeandMamamarried 9 years0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I doubt you are ruined! I believe anyone is capable of finding a good match for them and having a happy life if they are proactive about it. I personally know several ex junkies who have turned their lives around and are thriving humans now.

[–]catsuramen10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't want a hand-out; I don't want a sugar daddy. But I do want the efforts I've put in to build myself will come into fruitation. And that includes having a committed, strong, loving man that I can trust to reach our common goals together for many many years.

[–]HammockSwinginMid 20s, LTR, 1 year[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said!

[–]WonderfulandValuable0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

A true SAHM nowadays is only possible if the wage is way in the "rich" strata. (Estimated 7500Euro monthly). Otherwise it is next to impossible. I am of the strong opinion and my SO shares it, that a child above the age 3 is able and actually benefits from going to the kindergarten/Kita. This gives me the opportunity to work at least part time.

[–]HammockSwinginMid 20s, LTR, 1 year[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Part time is a good option, and I’ve also considered going into contract work. That would allow me to make more money while they’re in school and take summers off.

[–]WonderfulandValuable0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think we are way too concerned about our kids, a good kindergarten and a part time job are certainly a good combo. Children from 3 years on need to interact with other children and yes - it is good for them to get to know difficult people as well.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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