Substitutions for Profanity- How Do You Speak Attractively?

GratefulWifeandMama · 2018-03-23T19:43:20+00:00

My husband is ridiculously inappropriate. We don't curse in front of the children and expect people we are around to refrain as well. I personally say, "Holy Smokes" a lot. And "shucks" or "dang it" instead of like damn or whatever.

Camille11325 · 2018-03-23T19:42:34+00:00

I don't use substitute "bad" words, I think those are silly more often than not. I say "oh my gosh" though, but that's for religious purposes not sexual strategy. Never had an issue with using too many bad words/lewd jokes so I'm not sure what advice to give there other than thinking before you speak and being mindful of why you reach for that language if it's something that bothers you. Is it to get attention? A quick way to increase your value in a social setting? Etc.

Is it hard to say that something was terrible/disgusting/etc instead of "shitty"? Or that something is fantastic/wonderful/excellent instead of "really fucking great"? Obviously these are random examples off the top of my head but using descriptive words will definitely help you come across as more graceful.

Speaking properly, avoiding contractions, using proper terms instead of slang, avoiding words used by proles, speaking softer (or at least not being super loud), having a lighter tone of voice <- is this the type of info you mean re: how to speak more gracefully? Some of these things are pretty universal but others could actually be a disadvantage. It depends on your exact situation, because different groups of people have different norms and standards. And deviating too much could lower your status. Or this could totally be my own biases, I just can't see this question as anything other than being about class instead of femininity.

Camille11325 · 2018-03-23T19:29:32+00:00

General reminder: RPW is not anti profanity. If there were any "rule" about speaking it'd just be to tailor your vocabulary, tone, etc to your audience and the situation at hand. Know what your man likes/expects and do that :)

2018-03-23T19:44:51+00:00

This is highly subjective. Personally I think it’s just best to be yourself. I have a friend that will cuss like a sailor, but we know that’s who she is and I think it’s funny. My wife will only swear when she’s completely pissed off and I get the message. I feel weird when she does in casual conversation and don’t like it. My ex would drop a few f-bombs anytime the weather would get too cold for her and it was cute. The thing I like is when girls are true to themselves. Don’t act like someone you’re not or you’ll find a guy that likes you for who you’re not. That being said it’s trashy to non stop swear in front of kids (my neighbors) or at a restaurant, wedding, etc. The important thing is be in control of your words and not let them control you.

plein_old · 2018-03-23T22:56:20+00:00

You might enjoy watching the Dowager Countess of Grantham (the grandmother), in the TV show Downton Abbey, played by Maggie Smith.

She is very good at getting her way, and good at giving people feedback... however she also in my opinion exhibits a lot of charm and humor in the way she talks. She's a pleasure to listen to.

People who overuse profanity, in an effort to shock people or get attention, I find difficult to listen to sometimes.

drops_of_Sunshine · 2018-03-24T01:52:44+00:00

This is so important!! For me I say really corny things like fudge instead of the F word, or snap/shizzle for S***, basically I try to pretend I'm a school teacher and it makes it like a humorous game for me to retrain my speech. I've been working on it for over a year. It's made me more sensitive to people who curse a lot in person. Online profanity doesn't bother me, and even though I do drop F bombs on my throw away accounts I believe even that is a bad habit that makes it harder not to think that way. Using corny substitutes is a good transition to not needing to say any thing "aggressive" when you are mad or upset. For example with the F word I used to say Fudge a lot, like "oh fudge!" Now, because of I goofy I feel saying that (I'm thinking ned Flanders lol), I usually say "awwwww man!" Or I'll make a funny face. I basically use a humorous approach because not only does it keep me from talking like a sailor, it helps to dissolve whatever has made me really angry and keeps me level headed, something I find to be a trait in all the greatest women I know. Good luck to you! It's easier than you think :)

proprioceptor · 2018-03-26T13:42:17+00:00

My strategy - say things that my great-aunt used to say!

"Heaven's to Betsy" "Judas priest..." "Oh for Pete's sake"

When something looks bad "Well somebody has certainly made a pig's ear of that!"

Hartley7 · 2018-03-24T14:33:00+00:00

I used to swear like a sailor and shout whenever I was angry which was fairly often. That was before I realized how disgusting, unfeminine and uncultured I sounded.

What helped me was being quieter and thinking before I spoke. I spent more time in silence pondering the impact of my words, as well as whether or not words were even necessary. We women tend to talk way too much. I've also learned to speak softly as well.

I would advise you to do away with the belief that profanity is good for a person. It's NOT good for a Red Pill woman who wants to celebrate her femininity and be pleasant.

jack_hammarred · 2018-03-24T04:40:37+00:00

i had to learn to temper my speech a lot when i met my husband. he hates the sound of women swearing and even though i never really swore much, even a little bit is really unattractive to him. it took a lot of effort in the beginning (and plenty of pained grimaces when i slipped up lol), but it's mostly habit now and i don't need to think about it too much.

i never used placeholders because in our case it would defeat the purpose. he doesn't like to hear women swear because it shows a lack of constraint and it's like the woman is losing control of her emotions in a masculine way. saying "frick" instead of "fuck" serves the same purpose so would still be off putting to him.

i think camille is right that this is really tied to class. my husband's family comes from english aristocracy where there are layers upon layers of unspoken rules, and tying yourself to someone who doesn't have these upper class tells is a bad look. not using swear words is just one small part of displaying yourself as part of "their world", there are a lot of odd little manners and rituals i've have to learn and not making an effort to abide by the rules is seen to be disrespectful.

what do you like about using profanity? do you have an example of a woman using it well in the way you're imagining?

JustScrollOnward · 2018-03-28T05:23:04+00:00

I don’t cuss unless I’m really angry and have lost control, so I definitely do not associate cussing with femininity or anything good personally. Now that I have little ears following me around, I am even more careful. I don’t want my 2yo saying “shut up” to the dogs or calling things “stupid,” let alone taking the Lord’s name in vain. I’m glad that I never developed much of a habit for cussing because my husband (a former soldier) is having a hard time with not cussing in front of our kids. Interestingly enough, he never used to cuss much in front of me until after we were married. I think I should remind him of the gentleman aspect of saving those words for his friends because I know he used to have the self control.

Some people find it endearing when their children have foul mouths, but I think it’s a disgrace. I don’t know why- I suppose children should have a right to innocence and tainting that with “adult” words, either by cussing freely in front of them or even letting them cuss, seems deeply wrong to me.

I know you don’t have children, but if you plan to, it’s always good to work on that self control now. I say “oh my goodness/gosh” a lot, or even cheesy phrases like “uh oh spaghettio” because of my kids.

Thanks for posting this! It is an interesting discussion. Outside of the kids’ aspect, it’s interesting to hear how different relationship dynamics affects whether or not the woman cusses.