Great Post On "Emotional Labor", Female Anxiety, And Gender Differences

[deleted] · 2018-03-08T00:59:39+00:00

Interesting. I didn't like that Guardian cartoon either. I think this article is good but I also think it could be a bit more understanding... working women have it really tough, especially working mothers. It is really tough to be out in an office all day and then come home to cook, clean, and take good care of small kids. The working mothers I know tend to be really frazzled, unless they have super involved husbands or earn enough money to outsource most of the labor. The article talks about how women are okay in Norway but I think Norwegians have much shorter work days than most Americans.

I know it's not easy for men either, especially since they wind up dealing with all that female anxiety.

HammockSwingin · 2018-03-09T16:19:31+00:00

Theory: well-adjusted people who love each other are happy to do what it takes to keep the household running and don’t waste time passive-aggressively trying to convince their spouse that he’s a bad person for not reading her mind.

I love the science quoted and discussed. It's not some SJW opinion, it's facts!

drops_of_Sunshine · 2018-03-08T05:00:36+00:00

Whoever is writing that blog is doing a fine job. Very impressed.

whitcris · 2018-03-12T17:28:24+00:00

Interesting. I thought the Guardian cartoon was a little heavy handed as well. Is it frustrating that my husband doesn't "see" that naturally if he's getting something out of the dishwasher it would make sense to unload the whole thing? Sure. But it also would make sense for me to take his shirts out of the dryer as soon as it's done so they don't wrinkle. And somehow I never remember.

The way I see it, the house is my job. I know the ins and outs and routines and flow better than he does. Can he jump in? Yeah. Absolutely. But, I think it would be ridiculous to assume that if I went to his place of work that I'd naturally see all the things that need to get done and what makes sense to do when. If he stayed home all the time, yeah. I'd get annoyed. But he doesn't. He's gone doing the outside work so I can get the flow of the house working well. It works for us. Can't speak for others. But I do know that it's a hell of a lot easier to have one person who is in charge of the flow at home.

proprioceptor · 2018-03-13T13:30:13+00:00

I never felt like the stress of "emotional labor" came from the number of things I had to do, but more that there are so many things that need to be done basically simultaneously. And yeah, I'm only working part time outside of the home, but when I was at work before I got married, I could always leave work at work, and just focus on home when I got home. Now that I stay home part time and have a baby I feel like I'm at work 24 hours a day. I can never say "well I'll just deal with that tomorrow", because it is sitting right there staring me in the face constantly.

I think another stressor is that if any one part of this falls short it is catastrophic for the family. There may not be anything to eat, or there may not be clothes for my husband to wear to work. If little details aren't where they need to be, they have real consequences in a different way than work outside the home.