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17

Why Frumpy Makes You Grumpy (self.RedPillWives)

submitted by Camille11325


[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

And then we don’t feel like wives. We feel like moms and maids.

This is totally me right now! 8 weeks postpartum I've been living in nursing tank tops and leggings. It's not pretty. It's functional. Today I got up and I got dressed. I put on some makeup.

I have always preached that I would be 51% wife and 49% mom. But I was ignorant to how hard that is right now. When the infant is glued to your boob and your stomach still looks about 15 weeks pregnant. The self-consciousness right now is dragging down my attitude and my mood and my ability to be a good wife.

The article is timely and needed. Thank you, Camille!

[–]BeneGezzWitch6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm here on the other side of 2 kids and THIS WILL PASS. It'll likely take 3 full months but it will pass.

Some things that helped me feel better (not perfect by a mile):

NEW leggings: mine were old when I had the baby so 3 new pairs made me feel so refreshed

Cardigans: it helped me feel put together vs just a tank and leggings or a huge sweatshirt. They must have pockets

Wipes: some days the best I could muster before dad got home was a full body wipe down and a bath and body spray I love. But it still elevated my mood.

Belly band: your stomach muscles are screaming for support. This isn't about a waist trainer it's about helping your abdominal wall heal properly and supporting your back and organs. It was so important in preserving my posture during the early days too.

I also made myself get up a minimum of 30 minutes before baby (once we got our sleep organized) so I could have a cup of coffee alone, read something good for me and start my own day rather than have it started for me.

Also I'm a communicator, so I regularly said and say to my husband "I just want you to know that I know I'm not the old me. I'm trying and it is important to me to be a good partner to you" and just that acknowledgement of the massive role change was helpful.

You're doing great mom, it only gets better!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you so much. I appreciate the kind words :)

[–]Camille11325[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are welcome!! I know it's not entirely the same but when I was on bed rest from my concussion it wasn't always easy to look good daily or be a GOFL, but when I did make the effort it was somehow easier to be a fun and supportive. I'm so excited for your new adventures as a mom :D looking forward to hearing great things as time goes on <3

[–]GratefulWifeandMamamarried 9 years1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wowie! 8 weeks already! Woohoo!!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know! Time needs to stop haha.

[–]imspookybooLate 20s, Married 5 years, 12 years total2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What a great article! Very timely for me as I'm due to have my first baby in November and am SO tired already. Of course, this is a great reminder in general - frumpy feels terrible. And, it's not that hard to put on putting clothes or a swipe of mascara or lipstick. Loved this! Thanks!

[–]Camille11325[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg congratulations!!! It's nice to have a reminder that putting in just a tiny amount of effort even when we don't feel like it is worth it. If I have a sick or off day, enjoying how I look in the mirror can have a huge impact on my mood. So glad you enjoyed the post :)

[–]GratefulWifeandMamamarried 9 years2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well I love this article! I am looking forward to reading more from her too. Being my best looking self is really important to my mental well being. Then I know I will be able to handle any situation and generally being the best me rolls over into other areas of my life like eating healthfully, getting exercise, not raising my voice at my kids, being a dutiful wife, etc.

[–]jack_hammarred25 LTR 4yrs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree completely! It's similar to having a messy room and being unable to get good rest, versus having a clean room and feeling peaceful. It puts us in the right frame of mind to be women when we feel we look like women.

[–]Camille11325[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was so happy to find this post on Pinterest! A lot of the relationship advice articles shared there are clickbait or just obvious. While she isn't saying anything groundbreaking she approached the subject really well and her emphasis on respecting husbands is definitely not something you see in most blogs today.

Being my best looking self is really important to my mental well being. Then I know I will be able to handle any situation and generally being the best me rolls over into other areas of my life...

Yes!! It really does give you the right foundation for everything else to go well. Plus it's one less things to think/worry about since you know your appearance is taken care of.

Please share posts from her blog with us if anything resonates with you!!

[–]kekeraeMarried 5 yrs, Mother of 21 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I may be almost 35 weeks pregnant (with a toddler to boot) and wearing athleisure type clothing today but my makeup is fully done, I got my nails done and my eyebrows threaded yesterday, my hoody is totally cute and the colour looks great on me.

After all, my agenda today included Kindergym time in a crowded gymnasium in the morning and going to the beach this afternoon in the rain and flipping over rocks so my toddler could chase around crabs. I can't exactly wear heels for that, but I think I looked cute for the occasion. :P

[–]Camille11325[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So many women let themselves go after having children and it leads to decreased attraction within their marriage (or worse). It's wonderful that you're still prioritising your appearance, I'm sure your husband and children really appreciate it too. Do you notice a difference in mood or productivity when you don't take the time to look nice?

[–]mrssmithhh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like this - cute, clean, and functional. Personally I don't think my husband cares what clothes I have on as long as my body looks good underneath.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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