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Six Lessons that Lead to Lifelong Love - Laura Doyle (self.RedPillWives)

submitted by HappyWifeLifeX

Original PDF

Lesson #1: Practice Great Self Care

Lesson #2: Relinquish Control of People You Can’t Control Anyway

Lesson #3: Receive Gifts, Compliments and Help Graciously

Lesson #4: Respect Men Especially Your Man

Lesson #5: Express Gratitude

Lesson #6: Strive to be Vulnerable

The full pdf breaks down each point and is a bit long to add here :) Enjoy!


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can't control anyone(unless you're a REALLY good manipulator haha) so #2 should be, relinquish control of people.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great resource! Thanks Happy wife 😊

[–]Camille113252 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is such a lovely reminder, thank your for posting it! I'm personally working on Lesson #1 because life has gotten a bit out of control recently and self care is always the first thing I put on hold in order to deal with everything else. It's easier (for me) to ignore my personal needs and focus on everyone else but this isn't sustainable!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I do the same and then when I'm drained I forget that nobody asked me to martyr myself lol

I'm terrible at self care, I treat me like I don't exist and it's ugly when out of check.

[–]nouvelle_rouge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I forget that nobody asked me to martyr myself lol

omg yes. self care is SOOO important because otherwise you'll be expecting your man to provide you something that you can provide yourself, whether that's entertainment, relaxation, or comfort. taking care of yourself means you bring your best face to the relationship, not the resentful person who's expecting a reward for being miserable

[–]GoldenPeoniesEarly 20s, Single0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Laura Doyle's post about the differences between a man's view of respect and a woman's was quite eye opening. Still struggling a bit with the concept, though. I understand the idea and reasoning of helping a man feel respected as Laura Doyle describes, but if he is wrong about something, does one not bring it up ever? Like in her iceberg lettuce not having nutritional value example, would it be disrespectful to bring it up at a later time by saying something like, "Oh, I read the other day that iceberg lettuce has no nutritional value," or something along those lines?

[–]Camille113252 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I personally don't always agree with what Laura Doyle recommends but that's because I'm not her target audience. Some women really need to work on holding their tongue because every time they open their mouths they are disrespectful and hurting their relationship. In their case it really is better to say nothing!

When it comes to bringing up something your man is wrong about I feel like you have to consider his personality and how important the topic in question is. Does it really matter what the nutritional value of iceberg lettuce is? No, so you probably don't need to correct him. A woman who constantly has to fact check and nit pick her man's statements would get annoying very quickly.

However if it's something that actually matters then you'd have to pick the right timing and method of telling him. This varies from man to man and woman to woman. Some broad guidelines would be not bringing up something that would upset/angry him when he is already upset/angry/stressed or when he is enjoying himself. Also tone, facial expressions, body language, and word choice are key. You'd never want to imply that your man was an idiot for being wrong about X.

[–]GoldenPeoniesEarly 20s, Single1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good point. I guess it's kind of like picking your battles line of thought?

[–]Camille113252 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't use the term "battle line" but yeah essentially. It's so important that we do our part to minimize conflict and bring joy to our relationship. But there are plenty of situations where our men may need to be corrected in some way. I just thought of another scenario to avoid: correcting him in front of an audience. I feel like it's better to do that sort of thing privately, don't want to embarrass him or give a bad impression to others. Again this depends on your man, some may not care at all or even prefer you to tell them ASAP regardless of what's going on around him. This is why knowing your man is key, it's the only way we can truly respect and support him!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think the main thing here is the new awareness and what you do with that in your own life. I struggle with some of it too but it's all shades of grey really. Life is full of ideas, opinions, and suggestions.

I guess it depends on how you two interact. My husband can take a good deal of ribbing or even bluntness from me because that's already our dynamic. It's a huge part of our humor and playfulness and neither of us is thin-skinned. I focus on not using my humor to nick at his pride and I watch myself that I'm not enjoying one-ups or winning.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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