Hi all,
I kept debating on whether to write this post, but then I kept thinking back to how my hamster spun and spun and I decided to do it.
I wanted to talk about a few months ago when my husband made a huge mistake and how I handled it.
Short backstory - my husband's work office was shutting down and relocating a lot of the workers. We decided together that we did not want to relocate, as I was pregnant at the time, and we took it as a sign to have him quit and look for something new. Because of that, we got our health insurance through COBRA. I knew nothing about how it worked, and since it was related to his work and business, he handled the paperwork and everything else.
Two months go by, and everything is fine. At this point, I'm 8 months pregnant (and ready to HAVE THIS BABY ALREADY). We had booked a romantic getaway before the whirlwind of life with a newborn happens. We had a wonderful time, and when we came back, my husband realized he forgot to pay COBRA. So he went on the site, and it doesn't work. So then he called to try to pay over the phone...
He found out that if you are even one minute late on your payment, COBRA gets canceled. No ifs, ands or buts. I was in the bedroom when he found this out, and he came in and told me he just lost our insurance. While I was 8 months pregnant. I had an appointment in a few days.
Ladies, when I heard those words, my crazy, pregnant, hormonal hamster spun so quickly, it made liftoff and blasted off into space at warp speed. I sat with my husband on the couch. I could NOT stop the voices in my head from screaming - HOW IRRESPONSIBLE! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN! etc, etc!! I knew he already felt HORRIBLE about this, I could see it in his face, he kept saying how awful he screwed up, and he was just broken. I just STFU while my hamster spun out of control. I couldn't say anything productive at that moment, and that's not what he needed. He didn't need to get kicked while he was already down. So I STFU, and tried to gather my thoughts.
At this point, he noticed I hadn't said anything. He asked me to say something. He asked what I was thinking. I tried to look at the ROOT of my hamster before I answered him. Although first, because he asked me to say something before I was completely ready, I did say I was disappointed that this happened. But then I added that I was scared. Because truly, that was the root of my mind going crazy. We didn't have health insurance and I was pregnant! I was very scared! I then told him that we would get through this and we'd figure something out, and we embraced.
Then, he went into overdrive to remedy the situation. Every day he told me his regret and how he messed up and he would make it better and for me to not worry. So I stopped worrying. Every day he told me not to worry, and every day I told him I wasn't and that I knew we could get through this.
I never blamed him for his mistake, he did enough damage to himself for feeling like he let me down.
We tried everything to get our insurance back, but in the end nothing worked until I actually had the baby and a "life event" was able to trigger an enrollment period for us. Up until the birth, though, we decided we could use our savings, and a credit card to pay for the birth if we needed to, and his parents also wanted to help us in any way they could. But, the birth ended up being covered due to the special circumstances of "life events".
So truly, I didn't have anything to worry about. My husband was doing all that he could, we had the means to pay for the birth if necessary, and he was going to make sure I got the birth I wanted (and the way the birth went is a WHOLE DIFFERENT story lol!)
Going through this rough experience really brought us closer. It was a good exercise in teamwork to experience before our baby arrived. Every day he tried so hard to get our insurance back, and every day my love for him just grew because I could see how much he cared and loved me and our baby and wanted to do right by us. I wanted to be by his side while he struggled with this experience of failure (in his mind). After all, I vowed to love him for better or worse, come good times and bad! And choosing love during that moment was the best decision, and really strengthened our love and marriage.
[–]StingrayVC15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link