Older women, what depressing social changes have you seen in your lifetime?

cxj · 2017-03-06T17:40:13+00:00

I'm under 30 and something that is happening less is actual dating. Netflix and chill, hanging out, hooking up etc seem more ubiquitous. There have always been couples that fell into a relationship but courting seems shorter, different, less personal as online dating evolves. It's not depressing to me as change of SMP is inevitable with technology.

I do feel for young girls that think "being the cool chick that doesn't care about labels" is more important than voicing their true desires. Myself and my friend circle struggled with this early in college.. 😑...SMH. Girls that like boys will always do things that they think will make boys like them better. Sometimes those tactics are damaging in the long term. General knowledge of RP/SMP/SMV (used to be common sense) goes pretty far in safeguarding women and our true desires in most cases.

bunniebell · 2017-03-06T18:13:08+00:00

I was raised with some traditional values, like male chivalry, female oversight of home life, and that men need the ability (education or honed skill) to immediately support the family after a few years of marriage, even if the woman is the main breadwinner. No living together before marriage, etc.

Dating various men my age (I'm in my 30s) proved to me that everything I was raised with is now nearly obsolete, except in wealthier circles.

I ended up marrying (my 2nd husband) the perfect man for me...who is 20 years my senior, because of that. I couldn't stand the crudeness and rudeness of men of my generation. The rare man that DID fulfill most of my expectations of men were snobbish and expected perfection of the woman they dated.

It's just bizarre. Like another commenter here, I blame society. I blame the economy forcing all able-bodied adults to work to support the household (no adult at home to constantly teach children manners & kindness); the feminist movement (men adopting feminine characteristics and being babied by their mom, sex becoming meaningless, chivalry frowned upon for being sexist); globalization, which makes it probable that romantic distractions will occur due to the ease of meeting tons of new people; and the immediacy of everything, translating into immediate fulfillment of any wish--immediate free porn, immediate credit to buy anything, immediate breakups by ghosting, immediate sex with condoms, immediate divorce, etc.

One night stands always included an overnight stay, in my direct and indirect knowledge.

TempestTcup · 2017-03-06T14:49:46+00:00

Walks of Shame have been around since I was in college in the early 1980s, and I assume that they have been a "thing" since the dawn of time :)

Rivkariver · 2017-03-06T23:12:28+00:00

Family fell apart. Divorce became no fault. Without family structure society falls apart. Socialization isn't about family, it's almost the same dynamic as gangs/lord of the flies. Like, not literally, but you have to make a bunch of random friends to be your family in a sense. There isn't order.

Family used to protect women from guys who didn't want to date but only use. Those men were seen as bad news. Once Upon a Time the girl's dad/brothers/male cousins etc would have a few choice words with a man who used her like that.

Women were more protected in that sense.

Now with women's "liberation" it's supposed to be that women can do the same stuff as men, sexually, which isn't really possible.

You're absolutely right that it's much harder without positive influences. RPW used to be an idea that was actually bolstered by society. It takes discipline, family and institutions helped.

Nowadays expecting a woman without those supports, a woman steeped in secular culture growing up, to somehow buck the entire society and come up with all the RP concepts on her own...is crazy.

It's MUCH harder to figure this stuff out yourself and then have the strength to be countercultural...takes mental energy and the courage to be who you are when many people scorn it and want to influence you in the opposite way.

Imagine if you could assume most real life women you met would want to discuss RP ideas, talk about examining themselves, talk about doing good things for their men. Instead you can bet many women would discuss how dumb boys are and how career is the biggest priority.

So yeah, it has changed.

[deleted] · 2017-03-06T17:29:37+00:00

Nothing is falling apart. Women (and men!) have always made stupid decisions and will continue to make stupid decisions.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-06T14:48:14+00:00

It just seems like socially everything is falling apart to the detriment of women.

Eh, ONS and drunken hookups have CONSEQUENCES. Like crying after you let some dude fuck you in a stall or hailing a cab at 2 am after a ONS.

If you don't want these consequences then don't do things like that. It's not "everything falling apart to the detriment of women". That's women being detrimental to themselves.

cynicalhousewife · 2017-03-11T22:12:55+00:00

I am 30 now. I have noticed a huge shaming and health and safety culture that never used to be there when I was growing up. Parenting has really changed, and not for the better. Parenting used to be a lot more relaxed.

I remember having all sorts of adventures as a kid in the 1990s, and I remember when it wasn't scandalous to give a child the occasional bag of Cheetos and some coca cola.

In fact when we had a school party that was what we had there, now those sorts of treats are banned from many schools, and kids are not even allowed skipping ropes or to practice rough play in some schools.

I also remember when it was OK to give your child a spanking. I remember when I was about 6 and a boy in the school court yard was being naughty, and his mom pulled his underpants down and spanked his butt in front of all the teachers and no one batted an eyelid. Whilst not everyone will personally agree with that brand of parenting, it's been normal to spank your kids throughout most of human history, and it still is in many cultures around the world, and I believe it should still be allowed. I feel sorry for today's children and parents. Children also seem more spoilt, pampered and worse behaved than ever. You can't treat kids like mini adults. The authority of parents has been so undermined and everything is child abuse.

There is also this culture of treating children like delicate, sensitive snowflakes. Children's TV shows have been so dumbed down, I remember when they would sneak in the odd adult joke, now that isnt allowed. Now all children's TV shows are heavily censored and full of Marxist propaganda, and you have parents calling in and complaining that everything is offensive.

There is also a culture of rewarding people for nothing, and people who don't work hard for something believe that they should have the same things as someone who does.

Dating and marriage and the relationships between men and women have been completely sabotaged in so many ways I don't even know where to begin. Men are afraid of being labeled abusers, because now anything can be labeled domestic abuse. You seem to get 2 extremes of opinion, one is that unless men put women completely up on a pedestal, they are monsters. The other extreme is that all women should be completely equal to men in every way, and women are crazy incompetent bitches if they are not.

All levels of virtue signalling and validation seeking in every sphere are at all all time high. I think people have always had this tendency, but it's been aplified by the internet.

Law has become extremely complicated. Everyone is scared of being sued by someone. as a result we have this extremely restrictive culture where everyone is on edge. More and more crazy policies and laws come out every year.

TV is just one big freakshow. It's all about who is the biggest laughing stock, who is the most depraved and what can make you cringe and judge the most. I remember TV when I was a kid. There was some element of the circus on TV, but it wasn't so extreme and prevalent.

24 hour access to all sorts of porn and cam sites has ruined dating and sex. I met my husband several years ago now and this was prevelant even when I was dating. Men are obsessed with anal sex and general kink. I also didn't appreciate the pressure to shave every bit of hair off down there because it gives me BV infections and it's itchy and horrible, but so many men in the last decade or so readily expect it. I just feel like sex is now about being adventurous and filthy rather than connecting with a member of the opposite sex that you like and find attractive. It's about what new and exciting things you can try, instead of just being happy to be intimate with someone. I stopped dating many men because they were just too filthy or concerned with my grooming habits. The same agenda is now being pushed into women with series like 50 shades of gray.

I am sure there is more, but these are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head.

[deleted] · 2017-03-07T02:22:08+00:00

This stuff is so depressing! Maybe I'm delusional but I can't believe that humanity has just plain become degenerate. I kind of think it a has an economic explanation. After all many, many middle and upper class young people are stuck in extended adolescence because they spend years and years in college, graduate school, interning, doing entry-level jobs. They're not adults, they don't have real homes or bank accounts, they can't afford to marry and start families, but they're not children either. Thinking of it that way, it's not shocking that commitment would be seen as a dangerous taboo and that girls would go to such lengths to try and bury their natural desires. (Not to mention men suppressing their own desires! Very unsettling that all those men were saying they didn't care about having sex in the morning!)

[deleted] · 2017-03-06T15:02:45+00:00

which was shock that it was now considered normal to kick out someone you've had a one night stand with, without even allowing them to spend the whole night, and that staying the night was something you sort of had to plead and negotiate for. It seemed that this as a concept was totally accepted and normal now.

i dont want to shock you but this is what it was like 30 yrs ago too lol

"the walk of shame"