Age gap when looking for potential husband

[deleted] · 2017-01-18T08:09:31+00:00

My SO is 6 years older than me and we got married when I was 23. I can kinda affirm that it works out a lot better having that gap. Men getting into their 30s are usually at the ideal spot for wanting marriage and commitment and still within age range enough that you share some common childhood stories(Like life before the internet lol) and are physically active and fit still. To me, it's an ideal situation but then I've always liked older men.

I say give it a go talking casually with some men around 30 and see what it's like. If you find it too much to handle, you have no commitment to meet them which I guess is the upside to online dating. Though one warning, I would be careful of the ones who focus on your age in a weird way - those men are red flags for me who think younger women are easier to manipulate into sex. When I was about 20, I was constantly courted by a man in his 30s I met through university and it became obvious after a time his fixation was solely on how young I was in relation to him. Really really creepy! Avoid those kinda men at all costs.

LauraXVII · 2017-01-18T06:40:26+00:00

I'm 24 and my other half is 29, we got together when I was 21 and he was 26.

I'm the same as you, I got bored with guys my age cos I just felt they were immature. We're perfectly fine with our age gap apart from when we make references to childhood TV programmes cos there's a 5 year gap.

I can deal with someone not understanding my Spongebob references though if that's the biggest problem we have!!

[deleted] · 2017-01-18T11:46:37+00:00

A big age gap like 6-7 years isn't too bad at all, just remember that girls do mature earlier than boys so even though there is seemingly a big gap you would be a lot closer when it comes to a mental state and what you want in the future.

JackGetsIt · 2017-01-18T13:28:04+00:00

The men at my work are significantly older (like 40+) and I don't find the majority of them attractive.

So it sounds like your sticking point isn't age it's attraction.

dashdotdott · 2017-01-18T13:36:00+00:00

Turtles are great

cxj · 2017-01-18T14:09:25+00:00

I'm 31 and my husband is 35, so when we met I was 21 and he was 25. I like our age gap.

I think at 23 you should focus on guys who are in the 26-29 range, obviously with some flexibility. IMO that late-20s age group tends to be more marriage minded than early 20s guys. I'd be a bit cautious about dating into the 30s as single men in that age group may want you specifically because you ARE young, as a way to relive their youth, and because men who remain single well into their 30s are often still single for a reason/can be less likely to marry.

"data analysis shows that prior to age 32 or so, each additional year of age at marriage reduces the odds of divorce by 11 percent. However, after that the odds of divorce increase by 5 percent per year."

GreenTeaOnMyDesk · 2017-01-18T16:47:51+00:00

You definitely want an older man

am3liia · 2017-01-18T19:44:49+00:00

We are 5 years apart - an age gap like that isn't really scandalous or dramatic. If you want to get married and have kids in your early/mid 20s, it just makes sense to go for guys a little older. Most guys in their mid 20s aren't really looking for that level of commitment yet. I don't really see many physical differences between an early versus late 20s guy either! I think aiming for 25-30 is a great idea for you.

NittanyLioness84 · 2017-01-18T23:50:07+00:00

Sometimes age is irrelevant depending on the man. If you filter out all men just based on their age, you might miss the one.

Granted we are in our 30s, my fiance is almost two years younger than me, and that initially turned me off when we first started dating because I have always wanted an older man so that I would feel like the young woman. He has proven himself to be captain material; but that might not have been the case when I was 23 and he was 21.

Ultimately, I think it depends on where you are at mentally and emotionally, not how many times you have orbited the sun when it comes to connecting with someone.

vanBeethovenLudwig · 2017-01-18T08:47:16+00:00

My boyfriend is seven years old than me. It seems like a lot huge difference after dating men my own age and I can confirm it's a lot better this way. You may be intimidated but older guys also have better social skills and they usually are accommodating in helping you grow as a woman. I highly recommend it.

sthutton · 2017-01-18T16:22:15+00:00

My husband is 6 years older than me, and the only issue that ever arises is when he's talking about old toys or cartoons that I was never exposed to! On all other topics (as well as with our attitudes about life in general), we're completely in sync.

Ignored0ne · 2017-01-21T04:01:08+00:00

My wife is many years younger than me and there hasn't been any particular issues with generation gaps. The main differences have been some issues with pop culture references and knowledge: stuff such as Pokemon, video games, and the like.

But on the order of things that we agree on and overall cooperate on, it seems to be pretty minor. I'll say it has worked out pretty well for us. She was 19 and I was 25 when we were married, for what it is worth.