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Cautionary tales of wasted youth (self.RedPillWives)

submitted by TempestTcup

Notes From a Red Pill Girl has two great posts this month about Strong Independent Women getting older and discovering that youth was a valuable resource that they wasted. I know a lot of women who have followed this same path, and now they are in their 40s and 50s confused, lost, and left wondering what happened.

In one post she outlines the descent of a SIW in her 60s who, when she was younger, used her youth to build a design empire and spent her energy pursuing her career. After making a bad career decision and terrible financial decision, following her dream, she is left alone with sons who are strangers to her due to her negligence in nurturing them while pursuing her career and dream.

In another post, she talks about a 46 year old woman who gave up a chance at marriage and children young to pursue her career and travel, and is now finally wanting to settle down and have children when it is a decade too late for her to have that.

What most women don't seem to understand is that there is a certain privilege of youth for women, and when you are young, people give you chances and opportunities that are rarely available to older women. There is a fork in the road where you can choose to concentrate on yourself or others, and if you concentrate on yourself, you will be left with yourself. If you concentrate on others, you can end up with fulfilling relationships to lead you into your golden years.

Don't waste your youth! Decide what you want out of life, and imagine decades down the road, when you are no longer young, what the end result of that decision will look like. Are you going to pursue instant gratification of career, travel, and pie-in-the-sky dreams (concentrating on yourself), or will you pursue a family of your own, a strong relationship, and loving children? Which will better serve you when your youth fades?


[–]blushinglillyMarried 5 ys, Early 30s9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would also add treat your private live with the same seriousness that you treat your personal development, career based or otherwise.

I've seen so many women who want marriage and children but for some reason they just coast on these ambitions and expect these things to fall into their laps or don't take the initiative when they should.

If you wanted a particular job or degree you wouldn't expect that to 'just happen' for you or to magically occur. You know that you have to take the right courses, go to the right school or develop skills to improve your CV.

Yet many women seem to think that the right man will 'just happen'. They either don't spend enough time dating, or they date men who don't want marriage and children in the hope they will somehow change. Or they date a man who won't set a timescale for commitment. Or a man who is good date but who would be a terrible neglectful father. Or a man who could never realistically contribute to the sort of lifestyle they want.

Every month or year you spend with a man who can't give you want you want is a month or year spent going in the wrong direction.

[–]SeasideJuneEarly 20s, LTR of 1.5 years3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Decide what you want out of life, and imagine decades down the road, when you are no longer young, what the end result of that decision will look like. Are you going to pursue instant gratification of career, travel, and pie-in-the-sky dreams (concentrating on yourself), or will you pursue a family of your own, a strong relationship, and loving children? Which will better serve you when your youth fades?

Great advice!

Personally, I'm a strong believer that you don't have to sacrifice one for the other. Having children is a huge commitment (and huge joy, and huge struggle) but it doesn't have to stop you from being passionate about your own sources of pleasure. Nothing inspires me like a devoted, feminine mother who still manages to pursue and succeed at a fully personal object of passion :)

[–]Camille113253 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't waste your youth! Decide what you want out of life, and imagine decades down the road, when you are no longer young, what the end result of that decision will look like. Are you going to pursue instant gratification of career, travel, and pie-in-the-sky dreams (concentrating on yourself), or will you pursue a family of your own, a strong relationship, and loving children? Which will better serve you when your youth fades?

This is such an important message! It literally cannot be emphasised enough. Women today are encouraged to choose what pleases them now, and they are mislead about how their choices will impact them in the future. So glad that Notes From A Red Pill Girl is writing about this issue. Thanks for sharing it with us :)

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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