Hello thar ladies!!

I was thinking about class and social status this morning while sipping my coffee in bed today (you know, typical Sunday afternoon! XD) and I am curious of the extent that class factors into dating -- specifically for women who subscribe to RP thought.

Background on me, I grew up in an economically lower- to moderate-income household (prole) but with parents that had UMC/MC West African values, so heavy emphasis on gender roles, higher education, white collar work or STEM, and keeping public appearances. This dichotomy has been tough to navigate, as I often felt like I didn't fit in anywhere growing up, but I have learned to accept it and my upbringing has its benefits. This has also factored into my dating somewhat, but now that's I'm RPW, a lot of that has come back to the surface. For this post, I'm talking both social and economic classes.

I have found that in the past, when dating guys who were UMC or UC by Western standards, I was always super uncomfortable. They would do things and expect things that were completely foreign to me:

• Going to expensive restaurants and sampling the ENTIRE damn menu and have a bill north of $500.
• Wanting their gf/date to be dressed to the 9s at all times as the lowest amount of effort.
• Table manners I've never seen before. What the hell is a salad fork and why can't I use it to eat my rice?
• Concepts like hosting multitudes of guests on a regular basis outside holidays.
• Spending $100 for basic clothing items like t-shirts as the standard.
• They buy whatever they want in cash and are virtually never in debt. They magically have thousands in savings without effort from inheritances.

Regardless of how kind or sweet I was, these rules mattered, and being unable to live by them meant I could never really fit in. Since those experiences, I'd decided to date guys who were more working class. Less earnings, more prole values, but still hardworking, masculine guys. I have found that this is way more to my liking.

• Care much less about outward appearance, just be attractive overall.
• Similar spending habits and expectations. Dates are more about time spent together vs activities.
• Dates are expected to be affordable before anything else. ($20-100 usually max) Since being in a relationship, we don't even really "date" in that sense anymore.

My current boyfriend comes from a similar socioeconomic background and while dating him, I felt relaxed and I didn't have to think about our classes at odds. I care less about how we're perceived in public because we "match", if that makes sense. I have much less anxiety about my "role" in the relationship because I know what to expect. I feel comfortable in my own skin and beauty and it shows.

In general, I believe that when women are looking for partners and vetting them, they are considering more than just the person but how their potential relationship will be perceived. Why? Because ultimately we ladies think in communal terms and if our partner is perceived to be high value, then we by extension increase in our own value. When it comes to class, a marriage to your partner can ultimately graduate you to a higher class structure or demote you to a lower one. So class is always present in our vetting process, even if we don't necessarily actively consider it.

I wanted to know other ladies' thoughts and ideas on class and dating. How did it factor into your relationship or marriage, if at all. Do you think it matters as much today as it did in previous generations?