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Here is a lovely quote from Ayn Rand (from the December 1968 issue of The Objectivisit):

For a woman qua woman, the essence of femininity is hero-worship—the desire to look up to man. “To look up” does not mean dependence, obedience or anything implying inferiority. It means an intense kind of admiration; and admiration is an emotion that can be experienced only by a person of strong character and independent value-judgments. A “clinging vine” type of woman is not an admirer, but an exploiter of men. Hero-worship is a demanding virtue: a woman has to be worthy of it and of the hero she worships. Intellectually and morally, i.e., as a human being, she has to be his equal; then the object of her worship is specifically his masculinity, not any human virtue she might lack.

This does not mean that a feminine woman feels or projects hero-worship for any and every individual man; as human beings, many of them may, in fact, be her inferiors. Her worship is an abstract emotion for the metaphysical concept of masculinity as such—which she experiences fully and concretely only for the man she loves, but which colors her attitude toward all men. This does not mean that there is a romantic or sexual intention in her attitude toward all men; quite the contrary: the higher her view of masculinity, the more severely demanding her standards. It means that she never loses the awareness of her own sexual identity and theirs. It means that a properly feminine woman does not treat men as if she were their pal, sister, mother—or leader.

How wonderful right?! Do you agree with her description of femininity? Have you experienced these feelings with your own man? Let's discuss anything that comes to mind from this quote!


[–]VintageVee29f, engaged, together 2yrs 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is exactly how I feel about my man. Beautiful post, thanks.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So glad it resonated with you!

[–]lady_bakerEarly 30s, Married 8 years, together 10 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This one is nicely complex and acknowledges something that I have at times had difficulty reconciling - how is it that I find respect and deference for them so easy and natural, and yet it is clear that any given guy is no more likely to be my superior in random skills/intelligence than a woman? Because the underlying admiration is for masculinity, and it is coming from my femininity!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! So glad you had this realisation and identified with the quote!

[–]mrssmithhh 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I am re-reading The Fountainhead and was struck by how Red Pill it was. I read it a few times when I was younger, but never as an adult, and especially not with a "red pill" filter on everything.

Yes, I have to agree with her.

And yeah, I can remember feeling this, even as a little girl. There were usually two components to it - my own sense of rightness and happiness, and deep appreciation for the "other," the man I was with (usually my grandfather, or a few professors).

I've always loved Any Rand. One of the defining characteristics of masculinity is integrity. A man should have integrity of mind, spirit, and action. It's really beautiful, and the Howard Roarks and Henry Reardens of the world is her answer to how a walking, talking, breathing example of unbending, joyful integrity looks.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yay The Fountainhead is so beautiful! And your interpretation of Ayn Rand's male characters is spot on. I loved all the men (Rearden, Ragnar, Francisco, Galt, etc.) in Atlas Shrugged; each embodied wonderful aspects of masculinity and you could just feel the "joyful integrity" on every page!

So glad we share a love for Rand, definitely share some of her work and/or your thoughts with the sub when you can!

[–]mrssmithhh 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course! Her work defined a lot of my teen years, and I have a special spot in my heart for her.

[–]maya_elenaMid-20s, married, 3 yrs total 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I like Kira in We the Living and Dagny in Atlas more. Dominique's behavior was less convincing for me.

[–]mrssmithhh 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh I love Kira. Her character is so beautiful.

[–]maya_elenaMid-20s, married, 3 yrs total 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Indeed. And I feel that she is more approachable than Dagny, if you were looking at her in a discussion of what virtue means.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Serious question: Does anyone here actually worship their SO's masculinity? I'm in a new relationship so my feelings are a work in progress daily.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've felt an overwhelming sense of pride in my man, an adoring love, and awe and amazement but "worship" is a strong word I reserve strictly for God.

[–]TheTerrorSquad 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Define worshipping his masculinity? How I feel about my husband could be akin to that I imagine. I am at times in awe and feel an intense sense of respect and behave in a servile way that I wouldn't dream of behaving like around anyone else.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For me I think I do in the sense that I'm always in awe of his raw masculine attitude. I've never really allowed someone I'm with to exhibit it or if they have I'd be quick to joke about it or belittle it as a way to supplant their power over me. In truth I was afraid of it. I believed it was going to overwhelm me and I would lose my self. How stupid is that? Now that I can look at my man and see how his masculinity isn't against me but a complement to my femininity, I can appreciate it on a deep level because I know it is meant to complete me. That demands my attention and therefore I worship it. Sometimes I'm surprised by it because for so long I could never see it in men. So the fact that it is always there leaves me in awe.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

interesting.

i have never worshiped anyone. i don't think i have it in me to do so. i too easily see flaws.

that said, i would like to experience a healthy version of what Ms. Rand was talking about, in terms of looking up to a person. I have gotten close, but it was very hard to maintain. I think I know I really start to attract feelings for a person when their opinion and wants and needs are so respected that I tremble at the thought of disappointing them, because I do look up to them in a way that their good view of me is of extremely high value.

honestly, love is like reverse vertigo for me lol

[–]VintageVee29f, engaged, together 2yrs 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I actually do. I've hinted as much to him but not said to anyone else. I admire him deeply n worship wouldn't be an exaggeration.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yes! this is worded so nicely. as i get to know my SO better, i'm learning that he lives entirely within his own set of values and principles that he's constructed alone. he never wavers on this, and every decision he makes is in line with these self-made principles. in my opinion, these principles far outstrip anything society tells us to do and i feel like this is where a lot of his "character", and my admiration, come from.

even without followers, he is the leader of his own world and i am so lucky to have been swept up into that.

i also just love this part:

This does not mean that there is a romantic or sexual intention in her attitude toward all men; quite the contrary: the higher her view of masculinity, the more severely demanding her standards.

sums things up perfectly for me. after starting to think about these things, i understood the value of my own feminine nature and how rewarding it is to cultivate that. by respecting my own femininity and looking up to the masculinity in others, i've realised the potential of good human connection and become far more discerning.

great post Camille, thanks :) i've only read atlas shrugged so will have to dig more into her stuff.

[–]maya_elenaMid-20s, married, 3 yrs total 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes!! And from this admiration comes "the pride a woman is supposed to experience at being granted the title of wife" (this one's from Atlas Shrugged). It is so poignant and uplifting - what it means, or should mean, to be someone's wife: the double pride of earning the reward and granting it simultaneously.

And it is legitimately hard to keep that exalted feeling alive and in your thoughts even as age, the drudgery of daily life, the degeneracy of the outside world, and your own missteps threaten to wear it down.

And I believe that this aspect of man-worship, however subconscious it may be, is what determines whether our actions and advice here on RPW (look better! be more cheerful! cook more! defer to him!) are a form of cheap manipulation and disrespect, or an homage to him, done "in the name of the best within" both him and ourselves.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love your insights, this would even be a great, short post :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

/u/Camille11325 idk where you find these random, fantastic articles but you really have a talent for picking them out! This perfectly describes the submissive role of a woman, I think. Sure some SJW's will still find fault with it but I think it's beautiful and if more women acted this way to their husbands the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

[–]QueenBee126 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree, thank you /u/Camille11325 :) I am looking forward to your Part 2 to Charcateristics of Feminine Beauty as well!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks! There's a lot going on in real life but I am excited about sharing the rest of the series with the community as soon as possible :)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you! And who cares what SJWs think haha I agree it would be nice if more women understood and embodied the message in this quote!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think that femininity and masculinity are both kind of like pieces of a puzzle, sockets, just something that fits together.

Femininity and masculinity will be valued in different ways by different cultures, religions, tribes etc. But the one thing that always stays consistent I have noticed is that the two pieces always fit together and work with each other.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh this exactly!!!! They complement one another and strength each other when employed. I've noticed when I support my man he is available to work harder and when he works harder I feel more valued. It feeds into each other and makes the 'puzzle' complete. A fine balance.

[–]maya_elenaMid-20s, married, 3 yrs total 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The hard part about the above is, if you as a woman are in a relationship you hate, with a man you feel contempt for, it is you who compromised your values for mean short-term comfort, and your unhappiness is to a large degree your fault, not just your man's - and you must have the courage and fortitude to either help him to become better or leave him.

I wonder if that is part of why hard-core political feminists don't like Ayn Rand - even though her views on it were pretty empowering to women.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The hard part about the above is, if you as a woman are in a relationship you hate, with a man you feel contempt for, it is you who compromised your values for mean short-term comfort, and your unhappiness is to a large degree your fault, not just your man's

Absolutely! This is why we stress vetting and being selective with who you commit to.

I wonder if that is part of why hard-core political feminists don't like Ayn Rand - even though her views on it were pretty empowering to women.

There are so so many reasons why they dislike her (a big one being her support for individualism and acting in rational self interest which is the opposite of the collectivism of the left) but yes her views towards masculinity are definitely part of why people dislike her and her characters. Dagny Taggart is competent, strong, and in charge, and yet she embraces her feminine role with her romantic partners.

[–]jade_cat1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Such an amazing description of femininity! I should definitely look into her work. I heard her name quite a few times but never got around to reading her work. Do you have any suggestions on which book I should start with?

[–]maya_elenaMid-20s, married, 3 yrs total 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would start with We The Living. It's smaller and written earlier.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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