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18

Keeping Score in Your a Relationship (self.RedPillWives)

submitted by [deleted]

[deleted]


[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

every time we doubt our man (or judge him) we are doing the same to ourselves. We chose this man. Did we really choose so poorly?

I totally forgot about that. But it is so true. You think your man is a slob good for nothing man who couldn't tie his shoes if you weren't around.... ummmm you got with him. What does that say about you?

[–]OrganicSprout2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What a fantastic point

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That resonated with me in a huge way when I read that in her book. It's so true.

[–]whistling_dixie4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post.

I think the thing to keep in mind here is gratitude - you do things for the man you love because you are grateful for him. Keeping score means you're doing it to get something out of him, not because you are grateful and want to show that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ooh an excellent point!

[–]muffinsandpuffinsmarried3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm guilty of this, absolutely. Especially when he has a complaint. I always want to say "Yeah but you did a, b, and c and I didn't say anything!", which is a completely pointless thing to say.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah definitely don't drudge up old complaints. If it wasn't important enough to say at the time, it certainly isn't now.

Once you see it as a habit, it's so easy to realize in yourself which will make it an easier habit to break.

[–]TempestTcup 5 points5 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Women seem to think that they are the ones doing more in a relationship. All the time.

It's because women only see what THEY are doing and don't notice what their husband is doing towards the relationship/household. The stuff that their husbands do just magically gets done, but the wives have to work at doing their stuff. Equal duties to women means that their husbands do all of the husband's chores and then half of the wife's.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said. It makes me sick that I used to have that mentality.

[–]snowflacke25+ / complicated2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I recently came across this 5 languages of love test. In my opinion chores are an "Act of Service" type of love and I think women are heavier on this side than men. Taking the test and understanding the types as a couple could lead to better communication. I put that one on my list for future relations.

You can take the test here for free. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

[–]nouvelle_rouge1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you so much for this post!!!

So on my phone, I have an S-Note feature where I can write/draw/post pictures etc. Kind of like a mini-pinterest. I put a picture of where my bf and I went on vacation last year, as well as screenshots of helpful comments that I've gotten from this subreddit. Then I wrote in handwriting all of the awesome things I could think of that my SO has done for me. It's the background to one of my screens (meaning I swipe right from home a few times and there it is).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love that idea! It will keep in on your mind all day!

[–]jade_cat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

  • Make a list of all of your SO's good traits and the nice things he's done and does do for you. The more you start thinking about it, the more you'll find! Refer back to this list whenever you feel the resentment building up or the hamster start spinning.

That is such a good suggestion! Thank you, I will definitely apply this!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This one worked the best for me. Recalling all the good times and traits immediately made me forget about whatever I was annoyed with at any given time.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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