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Wise Words (self.RedPillWives)

submitted by eliza_schuyler

In the comments on this thread /u/BeautifulSpaceCadet and I were discussing things that you learn from your mothers/grandmothers/great grandmothers and just influential older females in general.

I’d love you ladies to share the words of wisdom you have learned from such people over the years. Post in the comments:

  1. A favourite quote
  2. A piece of good life advice and/or
  3. Something communicated in actions/behaviour rather than words.

Choose one, two or all three! Please add in anything else you’ve learned from a wise female over the years.


[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don't compare your behind the scenes with other people's highlight reel. (I heard this about facebook)

[–]eliza_schuyler 10 points10 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I’ll kick this off with:

  1. “Worry about your own story “(A CS Lewis quote, I believe) was something my mother used to quote at as continually as children when we were more concerned with our siblings’ misbehavior than our own…

  2. Clean up after yourself as you cook a meal. Don't leave everything to after dinner- you won't feel like it then!

  3. Listen to old people. Like sit down and really listen and try to understand where they are coming from, how their life experiences have led to their unique perspective. People just keep getting better with age. This particular lead-by-example behaviour has changed my life. Thanks, mum!

[–]SleepingBeautyWokeUpMid 30s, Married 8 Years, Together 114 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Clean up after yourself as you cook a meal. Don't leave everything to after dinner- you won't feel like it then!

This is so true. There is nothing worse than having to jump up from the dinner table to scrub a pot.

[–]eliza_schuyler 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

My nana also always told me never to leave the dishes until the morning. When I first left home I never took this advice, but now I find it so lovely to wake up to a clean kitchen.

[–]SleepingBeautyWokeUpMid 30s, Married 8 Years, Together 111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is nothing that gets my day off to a worse start than carefully plucking around piled up dirty dishes covered in old, gross food while I make my coffee. I used to let the dishes pile up when I was younger and single too. So glad I quit doing that. Now I clean the kitchen before bed basically unless I'm on death's doorstep, lol!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There is no substitute for hard work.

I have heard variations of this, and it certainly isn't earth-shattering advice...but I continually see articles, products, and books all promising faster solutions, with superior results, for far less effort. Which never works (even if if it does in the short term, it won't in the long run).

[–]guiliettaEarly 30s, Married, 7 years4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When my aunt got married 35 years ago, her grandmother (born early 1900s) hugged her at the reception and whispered "keep his belly full and his pecker empty."

[–]SleepingBeautyWokeUpMid 30s, Married 8 Years, Together 112 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

My mother used to always say that women with short hair who wore button up shirts and businessy pants looked like lesbians and as such would only attract lesbians, does that count? LOL! She had a very feminine aesthetic, and was not shy about pointing out to me when she saw a woman "dressed like a man" or "with a man's hair cut." Weirdly, she had no problem with women being gay, she even had several gay women who lives on our street and would hang out with her who would join in on this talk with her! She just thought women dressing like that were on the wrong path to attracting and keeping a man. She would say it's very easy to get the man you want if you look like a woman, can feed them well, and "treat them well" but there was always a tone applied to "treat them well" that made it clear she meant sex.

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

To steal another line from That 70s Show, your last sentence reminds me of Jackie's assessment "to be a good wife is easy, you just have to be a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room, and an acrobat in the bedroom....and I can hire a cook and a maid!" It's said in serious by Jackie but in jest by the show overall, but I think it's way more useful advice than it appears at first glance. It definitely emphasizes the point of fundamental responsibilities that are so far overlooked these days

[–]SleepingBeautyWokeUpMid 30s, Married 8 Years, Together 112 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol, that's adorable! I'm totally stealing that line. Although I don't think I would ever want anyone else to feed my family. Is that weird? I feel like cooking for people is my love language.

[–]eliza_schuyler 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

It definitely emphasizes the point of fundamental responsibilities

Interesting how we are okay with outsourcing 2 of our 3 fundamental responsibilities if we don't feel like doing them ourselves...

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]eliza_schuyler 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Haha, yes I agree but definitely wasn't having a dig at women who outsource cooking and cleaning... more at women who won't either provide sex OR allow their husbands to outsource...

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OH! I understand now. I totally read that incorrectly. Um yes, I 100% agree. I always reiterate that your SO agreed to monogamy, not celibacy. If you're not giving it up then he should be allowed to go elsewhere, even if it's a professional if that would make it more comfortable of an exchange. But it should be available to him one way or the other.

[–]jade_cat2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

My grandmothers were the ones who gave me valuable life lessons and advice.

Favourite quotes

  • "Last call for lunch!!" : My paternal grandmother was a French speaker, but she would say that in English. Everyone would come running to the kitchen to eat her delicious food.

  • "Shoo! Men have no place in the kitchen!" : That same grandmother would say that when the boys (and men) would chill and talk to each other in the kitchen while my grandmother was trying to prepare dinner. She was very attached to traditional gender roles, and for her, the kitchen was the work room of women, not men. Also, she was a very small woman, but when she was in the kitchen with her dress and apron and her rolling pin in hand, nobody wanted to contradict her. :)

A piece of good life advice

  • Do not be a "free lunch": My paternal grandmother had brothers, and when they were in their early 20's they would talk about how they knew Miss So-And-So was a "free lunch" (said in English). My grandmother was horrified by how they were talking about these women and she would tell herself she would never be a "free lunch". She passed down the advice to me.

  • Trust Providence and Always see the positive in every situation: Both my grandmothers' lives were filled with many obstacles, yet they were extremely resilient. They accepted challenges as they came and knew that they would resolve themselves eventually, and that no matter how dire a situation was, there was always a positive side to it, such as taking it as a life lesson.

[–]eliza_schuyler 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

both my grandmothers' lives were filled with many obstacles, yet they were extremely resilient. They accepted challenges as they came and knew that they would resolve themselves eventually

Both mine were exactly the same. I try to compare my struggles in with theirs when I feel myself losing perspective. It never fails to humble me, and improve my attitude.

Thanks for sharing these life lessons, all four are gorgeous! <3

[–]jade_cat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Both mine were exactly the same. I try to compare my struggles in with theirs when I feel myself losing perspective. It never fails to humble me, and improve my attitude.

Yes, that's exactly what happens to me too! :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Forgive me if I'm being a bit slow but what did she mean by being a "free lunch"?

[–]jade_cat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

An easy girl.

[–]VintageVee29f, engaged, together 2yrs1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

1) never let him forget he's a MAN (for me this is never more at the forefront of my mind than when I feel like having a little nag or moan - I will stop and think, he's a MAN. There isnt going to be a nice little debate over how this gets done. He isn't a friend. Let him be and shush. )

2) "least said soonest mended" (you don't need to air your every viewpoint. )

3) I grew up very close to my family - my Nan would visibly disagree with an action of my grandad, and stop herself before saying it. Still does. They still hold hands at 80 and are very happy.

[–]eliza_schuyler 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

"least said soonest mended"

This is one that my family are very big on. It sounds like it would be very unhealthy, but in reality, taking things away to sort o

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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