Hi ladies.
I thought this would make for interesting discussion, but after re-reading this it's more like a rant LOL.
I play at my student’s piano recital annually (I’ve always felt it’s nice for the teachers to play too). I chose Chopin’s Nocturne op.55 in f minor this year. I urge you to listen to it if you haven’t; it’s melancholic but beautiful.
In the process, I re-read Chopin’s biography. George Sand, a French writer and later Chopin’s lover, is often praised today for being an early feminist and withstanding societal norms. She dressed in men’s clothes later in her life and smoked in public (both which were quite scandalous back in the day). She was also quite open about her love affairs.
My mom always sighs romantically at the mention of George Sand, imagining some beautiful and romantic relationship with the Polish composer.
In Gossip Girl (lol), a professor says she’s one of her favorite female figures.
Books and articles tout how awesomely feminist and independent she is due to defying social norms.
The truth? She’s a self-centered, egotistical, and proud woman. However “strong” people may lead you to think she is, she absolutely is not. She is brittle, breaking under the pressure of life as soon as it gets difficult.
Backstory: Earlier, Chopin proposed and became engaged to a very sweet, young artist named Maria. She painted this lovely portrait of him. However, due to Chopin’s health declining, as well as rumors of him meeting George Sand, Maria’s mother ended the engagement in a letter to him. Even though Chopin was disgusted with George Sand when he met her, it wasn’t good in the public’s eyes that they corresponded and Maria’s family disapproved.
George Sand was deeply in love with Chopin from the start. It sounds like she ended up pursuing him (thus branch-swinging from another lover at the time). After the failure of his engagement to Maria, they somehow ended up together.
This boggled my mind a little, but then I remembered that people often “shelve” their bad qualities to seem better than they are. When life is good, those bad qualities can stay neatly tucked away…
Anyway, they still had a rocky relationship from the start. I could spend forever pointing out the early “red flags”, but let’s talk about when life really started getting hard.
Her true nature starts unfolding as Chopin is diagnosed with a terminal illness (suspected tuberculosis): I am absolutely disgusted by her behavior in these last years...
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She often wrote to people that Chopin was her “third child”, and disrespected him with words like “little corpse”. She ranted about her frustration with the situation. Oh, yes, you POOR, poor, woman…what a terrible life you have…wait, who is the one that’s dying? She essentially resented him while he was dying, unable to walk, and in pain...
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She picked fights with him when he was violently ill. She never took his side and was always against him. Feminist logic: he was the one turning against her, obviously!
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Chopin was ‘indifferent’ to her radicial political pursuits, which I believe caused her some frustration. Is this surprising to us? Nope.
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Sand was clearly jealous of her daughter, Solange, who seemed to have more grace and compassion than she did. They had a lot of disagreements.
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Let’s also turn to the fact that all of this arguing happened while Chopin was staying at Sand’s estate in the summers. She should have made this a peaceful environment where he could rest and compose. I feel like he could have composed way more pieces even though he was sick, but due to all the drama and fighting, he probably couldn’t focus in such an environment!
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She ends up writing a novel about a rich actress and a prince in weak health, which was a clear allusion to Chopin. The prince ends up getting a negative role in the book, everything written about him is unflattering. Chopin knew of the book, of course, which leads us to…
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…An angry fight, leading to him FINALLY leave her. Her response to him leaving her was that it was “a strange conclusion[…]”. Actually, George, if you were any smarter you would see that it was the only logical conclusion. Anyway, we should feel happy that he finally left her, right?
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Except…he died two years later. She never contacted him, never apologized, nothing. The last they remember of one another is an icy argument.
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Solange, Sand’s daughter, was at Chopin’s deathbed. Solange’s husband made his death mask. The couple were very supportive of the composer even though he left Sand.
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And…you guessed it: Sand wasn’t at his death bed. There is no mention of her going to the funeral. And, when Chopin’s sister returned their love letters to Sand, she destroyed them all.
George sand is far from being the "strong" woman feminists think she is. She is weak and solipsistic. She couldn’t put aside her personal qualms and simply love and care for Chopin while he was dying. Instead, she had to make everything about her and her suffering. Meanwhile she was in perfect health and her lover was one of the most amazing composers to date.
How would she feel now, knowing that millions of people worldwide adore his music? That he lives beyond his death? Meanwhile, she’s a straw that feminists grasp at to say “look, see, feminism in the 1800s!”
I pity Chopin for choosing such a vile woman. Not only did he have a terminal illness, but he had ZERO support from his lover when life started getting really tough.
Side-note: I believe the Nocturne was written a year after things started going downhill (1844). You can hear his melancholy in the music.
Oh, she was openly hypergamous too. I just found this:
Sand was a true Romantic. She wrote she was only happy "when I love" and not always then. She declared, "Love is all." But for Sand, love is only love when both partners are equals, "when two hearts, two minds, two bodies meet in understanding and embrace." She drifted from lover to lover, agonizing over the breaks and partings. She sought the perfect relationship, and if she couldn't have it, she would readily leave one man to join another who was, in her words, "closer to perfection."
No, Sand does NOT know what love is. She was NOT a true romantic. She was selfish, vile, and hypergamous. No man could EVER make her happy.
Shame on you, George Sand. Unfortunately, there are too many Sands in modern-day society to count.
There is one lesson we can take away for ourselves here: It's easy to be pleasant and feminine when life is good and you're dating a famous pianist. But when life gets tough, that is when your true nature will be put to the test.
We must always prioritize loyalty, compassion, and femininity unlike Sand. These qualities are what create true feminine strength.
edit: LOL at the puns. love you ladies hahahaha
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