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RPW is more than sexual strategy, I think. This may be up for debate, but I'd like to think not too much. That's why we get to discuss more fun things RPW carrots and the like.

Kidding, but this post is to acknowledge what RPW brings outside of relationship; I'd like to think I'm not the only one who has seen all-around improvements.

A Gratitude Attitude extends beyond your lover

It's easier to be grateful for smaller things; even if the emotion doesn't come naturally quite yet, the conscious decision to recognize what we are fortunate for is a huge step. For those of us who are wound up so tight we could fly across a hemisphere if we let ourselves snap, it's nice making a practice of feeling grateful for the things we have.

You can't change people, only yourself

Family isn't perfect, and for many of us, our family is why we struggle in our relationships. Poor habits and dynamics learned by example makes for a difficult time learning to be better. And one thing we all have in common (I believe) is the will to have a happy family life. Both with our SOs, and our children -- whether you have these things yet or not, it can likely still be agreed the quality of those relationships are of the highest priority.

That being said, I've also learned to love my own nuclear family more in the process. Maybe my divorced parents and spineless father weren't the best role models, but I can't change them. As an adult, the options are to love them as they are, or not at all. I don't wish things were different anymore, I choose to be proud of my dad for other things and focus less on his shortcomings. Even if your relationship with your own folks is so damaged there is no retribution (I know at least a few folks in here are not unfamiliar with /r/raisedbynarcissists), at least you can take comfort in what you cannot change and continue to move forward by improving your own life -- the only life that you have the ability to improve.

This may change from person to person, and maybe it's your friends that are the negative influence. Or coworkers. Whoever it is to you, there is power in accepting accountability for yourself and only yourself.

There's no honour in winning for its own sake

Vying for dominance is an ignoble act, and aggression is an ugly trait. There is a difference between being a doormat, and being a pleasant and humble person. I know I try to be 'right' an awful lot less than I used to; what purpose does it serve? Aside from a time-sensitive debate as to how to most efficiently remove victims from a burning building to save the most lives, being 'right' rarely wins you or anybody anything aside from bad feelings.

Whether it's in the workplace, or casual conversation, I find myself conceding far more often. Why not? I'm not going to walk out with a prize for berating the other person into submission. I'd rather leave them with a good impression of me than winning my own crappy game that nobody else is playing.

Femininity offers you and others more than an enhanced SMV

We live in a world of binaries. Light/dark. Warm/cold. Happy/sad.

Femininity/masculinity go far less noticed than the above examples, and are so often absent from situations. A touch of feminine grace brings an improvement to any atmosphere, be it a social setting or simply in the workplace. In much of the older text, there was a lot more emphasis in the strength of femininity and the ability to bend. Not everyone can achieve it, and I certainly make no claims to be an authority, but I do try and that is far more than most are accustomed to in these times. To be warm of presence and soft spoken are wildly undervalued traits. I'm naturally rather loud and boisterous, and that's a hard disposition to break free of. But even now, if I lose control of my speaking volume I lose less control over what it is I'm speaking about. There's much less negativity and abrasiveness than there used to be. Baby steps, everybody.

Happiness is a choice

It's a choice I try to make every day, and admittedly fail at much of the time. But the day you take accountability for your own emotions is a good one, and releases you from the victim-mentality that's all too pervasive today. Your 'cup of life', so to speak, is a zero-sum game. We all have the same number of hours in the day and the week, and how we spend those hours is up to us, not to mention with whom we spend them. Prioritizing those who add to the quality of our cup and allotting them more space, while weeding out those who add only bitterness, increases happiness in all aspects of your life. It absolutely influences what you bring home to your man, but I'm talking about what you carry in your own heart and what it does for you in every part of your life. A happy person surrounded by love and goodwill is a better partner, but also a better person.


TL;DR Carry the words of RPW regarding positivity and femininity with you in all parts of life, even those outside your relationship, and you will be a happier and better person for it.

Edit: Didn't know what to flair so I went with 'discussion' instead of 'insightful'. I'm not all that deep and I'd rather hear and discuss all your thoughts anyway (:


[–][deleted] 6 points6 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course, most of the times when modern women are aggressive and vying, it's not for any honorable cause but is indeed just repulsive and ugly.

That was 100% what I'm referring too, thanks so much for the clarifying question. I should have made that more clear (:

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I know I try to be 'right' an awful lot less than I used to; what purpose does it serve?

Yes me too!

I find myself conceding far more often. Why not? I'm not going to walk out with a prize for berating the other person into submission.

Me too!

To be warm of presence and soft spoken are wildly undervalued traits. I'm naturally rather loud and boisterous, and that's a hard disposition to break free of.

Are we the same person?!

Loved this. I agree rpw can be used in all aspects of life and on all people, at least in some manner.

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've talked to you enough to know that if we are the same person, there are far worse people to be d: #twinning

But yes to the last point, absolutely. It's primary focus will always be sexual strategy and the applications therein, but there are so many auxiliary benefits to be enjoyed as well -- I know overall I am a much happier person, inside and outside of my relationship, for having the support and values of this community.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes we have actually a lot in common I think! #twinning

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And the more you do these things in general life, the more natural they are when it comes to doing them within your relationship.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

yeh i only do this for my H, im a super high dominance killer and everyone else but my H can suck it

[–]DemonDigitsLate 20s, LTR, 2 yrs4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Beautiful thoughts. Empowering thoughts, too. It's so easy to be a victim that people forget how much control they do have. Posts about family and how you only have the power to change yourself really speak to me. It can be difficult, accepting that the people you love are fallible but that they're not the ones that need to change. I'm still struggling with it. But these are the people who helped shape who you are, who molded you for better or worse, and from this point on you can take what they gave you and use that in shaping the rest of your life. There's something to learn even in the negatives in life, but it's up to you learn it.

[–]jade_cat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is a difference between being a doormat, and being a pleasant and humble person.

The line is not at the same place for your SO/husband than for the rest of the world. Your SO/husband has your best interests at heart. Your relatives might too. However, the rest of the world definitely has not. It is a jungle out there. Therefore, it is much easier to place yourself in a position of vulnerability towards your SO/husband. For the rest, while a humble, feminine demeanour is more than welcome, it is best to stay on your guard. As they say, an iron fist in a velvet glove : there are ways to be firm and draw strict boundaries in an elegant way.

[–]Camille11325[M] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This would have made a lovely field report about the way that RPW helps you personally; I am chiming in to add some clarifications because of the official tone that you have in this submission.

It's great that you've found benefits from RP that extend beyond your relationship. I want to stress to everyone that RP itself is in fact a set of observations, theories, and strategies. It is not a lifestyle, a religion, or any other prescriptive ideology. While we discuss a wide range of subjects on this subreddit, at the end of the day, RPW is only about harmonious romantic relationships. There is nothing in RPW that dictates the personality types of women, or how they treat people who aren't their men.

Regardless, it was an enjoyable read. Thank you for your awesome contributions to the community :)

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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