So, lately, there seem to be a lot of myths flying around concerning the relationship status known as marriage. Decrying marriage happens to currently be en vogue among some members of a certain community on reddit, which has popularized a lot of exaggerated and outright inaccurate propaganda. As a side effect, there has been some confusion from some red pill ladies. I would like to take this moment to clear up a few of these misunderstandings.

• Myth: You’re a bad person for wanting marriage

You’re not. In fact, you’re just a smart person. Marriage is the prudent, intelligent, realistic, and respectable strategy for women. Are there exceptions? Of course. But it can’t be denied that the ideal RPW strategy is to marry a GOOD man, treat him well, and uphold her wedding vows scrupulously.

• Myth: If you loved your boyfriend, you wouldn’t subject him to marriage

Marriage is mutually beneficial for both men and women. Married men live longer, maintain better health, suffer from lower rates of depression, earn more money, and receive many further benefits. If you take your vows and duties as wife seriously, there is no reason to believe your husband won’t enjoy a pleasantly increased quality of life. Of course, you should screen for men who have the sincere intention and desire for marriage to begin with.

• Myth: Marriage is doomed to fail

Your marriage is most certainly not doomed to fail. Not only are divorce statistics exaggerated and skewed due to serial divorcers and factors such as low education and socioeconomic status, the outcome of your marriage is 100% in the hands of you and your spouse. There are two straight-forward steps that almost completely mitigate the risk of divorce:

1: Carefully vet and choose a good man

2: Conscientiously uphold your wedding vows and duties

It’s that simple.

• Myth: High value men are eschewing marriage

It’s no secret that wedlock rates have trended down in recent years. However, there is one class of men who are still marrying and perpetuating legacies through their children. Educated, upper class men have carried on tying the knot, as marriage increasingly correlates with higher education levels and socioeconomic status. Essentially meaning, the one group of men who are consistently still marrying are the “high-value” ones. If you’re dating a high value man and he doesn’t want to marry, chances are it’s not marriage he’s against, it’s marriage with you. There’s a high probability you are a “starter girlfriend” he’s marking time with as he establishes himself, and you should really reevaluate your relationship status.

• Myth: Having children out of wedlock is a valid option

Purposefully bringing illegitimate children into the world is one of the most irresponsible and poorly planned things a woman can do. Hands down. Being a “forever girlfriend” or plate is one thing, if you’re into that, you do you. But bringing a child into that mess? Incredibly imprudent.

Children born outside of wedlock perform worse in every measured metric. They perform worse in school, have higher rates of delinquency and incarceration, teen parenthood, low test scores, lower college attendance rates, etc. Is that really how you want to start your family? With no partnership, commitment, shared legal name, shared goals? What will you teach your daughter about relationships as she grows up and asks why daddy never married mom?

Having children without marriage is like paying a mortgage on a house you don’t have the title for. You’re fronting everything, investing everything, and have no guarantee or security. It’s an absolutely short-sighted idea. It doesn’t even make sense from the male perspective, since child support is ordered regardless of marital status. It’s not like keeping you in the plate position saves him from being on the hook financially.

• Myth: Frivorcing your husband is a free party funtimes $$$ ticket

This is a dangerous myth that entices many thoughtless wives into divorcing their perfectly decent husbands. Let us get a few things clear: life as a mid 30s divorced mom is Not. Fun. I’m not one, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Not only are alimony rates way overhyped (alimony is awarded in only a very small percentage of cases), high value men are not going to be competing to wine and dine and commit to your saggy mombod self. Probably not even medium-value men, let’s be real. Not all states have no-fault divorce, further throwing the situation to your husband’s favor. Typically marital assets will be shared half and half, so now you’re out half your stuff, and have to scramble to support your sorry ass, all the while being hit by the realization that there are no decent guys in your dating league while your ex husband dates more attractive younger women. Sound fun?

  All in all, I hope this has cleared up some misconceptions, confusion, and harmful myths.  **Desiring marriage is perfectly in harmony with RPW concepts and goals, and is not something to be ashamed of.**  If the traditional route of marriage and children isn’t something that interests you, don’t take this post as a personal affront.  That’s fine!  I would caution you, however, to avoid the common pitfall of being the “cool girl” who is so chill and above caring about that lame marriage and kid stuff.  It’s very easy to not care when you’re young and attractive and have your whole life stretching out in front of you.  Think long and hard how you’ll feel when you’re 35 and hear the cats pawing their way in your door while all your friends have houses full of kids and walls decorated with wedding pictures, because by then it will likely be too late for you.