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17

test is here

Report your and your SO's love language in the comments. Let's take some time to reflect on how to optimize our relationship's harmony by understanding how our partners give and receive love. It's always good to be mindful of these things.


[–]IcanneverremembermyMid 20's/LTR/2.5 years5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am Physical Touch all the way, A is Acts of Service and Quality time.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Without taking the test i know for a fact that I give love with gifts and acts of service primarily and receive it preferably with quality time, loving touch and words of affirmation and love. I could care less about receiving gifts or acts of service.

My h definitely receives love by acts of service, loving touch and gifts which is perfect for me. I have showered him with gifts Lol

[–]Camille113255 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I express my love through Acts of Service and Physical Touch, and I need Quality Time and Physical Touch. Luckily M is the exact opposite! We suit each other perfectly and I am so grateful to be with him!

[–]Kittenkajira5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is there a quiz for the ways you express your love? Like the love languages quiz, but in reverse.

[–]Camille113255 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think so, I just know my own tendencies :)

[–]Kittenkajira5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My primary love language is Words of Affirmation, followed by a tie between Physical Touch and Quality Time. His is Acts of Service, followed by the same tie. I show love through service, so it works well. I do have a difficult time with touching - I love receiving touches but often get into my own world and forget to touch him (this was a good reminder!) As long as I get complements on the ways I serve, I'm happy and content. I do have issues with approval-seeking and fishing for compliments - it's something on my list to explore and work on in the future.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

My love language is physical touch. I really don't have to talk very much at all while in a relationship, so long as I'm physically contacting my partner. So sitting on a couch while he's watching sports? No big deal -- if i can sit next to him, which is lovely.

I think in past relationships, when this wasn't met, I felt seriously unloved, no matter what the other person did for me, and I would overcompensate by talking or trying to control things. Which wasn't fair to them or myself.

I don't have an SO right now :( But I'm aware of the need to recognize and accept differences in how love is received and expressed.

[–]Kittenkajira4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Amazing how different we all are! I'm a huge talker, and would have a difficult time quietly sitting on a couch while he's watching sports. I'd last maybe 15 minutes before I either found something to do, like read a book, or start blabbing.

Hope your dating is going well. :)

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

it's frankly sad that i've gotten to 27 and have so little experience being pursued but i'm enjoying it :D

i prefer talking if engaged. i hate initiating.

[–]Kittenkajira4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I got divorced from my high-school sweetheart at 26 and had no experience being pursued. My mom sent me that book "He's just not that into you" and it helped - only took a few months of dating to find a great match.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i had a hard wakeup call from life hahaha. the best teacher.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My love language is words of affection and to a lesser extent gifts.

If I don't get at least one I love you in the morning and one at night I will be sad. Lucky I get lots.

I am pretty weird about the gifts, small cheap gifts that show my SO knows me are way more appreciated than big fancy expensive gifts. So for me its more the thought than the thing.

My SO's primary love language is acts of service. So what most tells him I love him is if I drop dinner off for him after a bad day and then I just leave him to eat and relax.

[–]PixieDelightsMid 30s | Married 8 years | total 123 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mine is Acts of Service followed by Quality Time. I am having my husband take it, but I would guess his is Physical Touch. Physical touch is received the bottom score on mine. It is something I know I need to be more mindful of, but it does make a few things more clear to me.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I may need to take this again because it's been some time but mine is words of affirmation and his is physical touch.

After coming across this site about a year ago and making a proactive approach to remember and honor his language I've been able to make a lot of improvements in the relationship. Often when he is venting about work or frustrated because his boss was off her rocker again I would try to jet in with verbal cheerleader. Instead I take his hand across the table, or I rub his back if we're sitting on the couch. I don't really need to say much to show him "I'm here, I'm listening"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know that I prefer to give love through gifts and acts of service as well as touch and quality time. I have recognized this over the course of my dating life, particularly in terms of gifts. I have spent much of my pay on SOs and less on myself (which is perhaps a bad idea, now that I think about it, since some men do not like being given gifts and prefer giving them--this is something I am currently working on).

I prefer to receive love through touch and quality time with words of affirmation in a third place.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mine is words of affirmation and my husband's is physical touch. We are both like a point or two away from quality time being our highest so that's the second most important to both of us. :-)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Mine is physical touch and quality time, ideal relationship state would be cuddling 24/7 haha. I have a hunch his is the same but I don't think he's taken the test that I know of.

update: He took the test and got physical touch and quality time as his top two as well! <3

[–]tintedlipbalm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same here. Want quality time above all.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm tied for physical touch and words of affirmation - he has not taken the test, but I have a hunch that acts of service is his. This is a good topic to bring up with him sometime though, I don't believe we have ever had this conversation.

[–]littleteafox2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My score was:

  • 9 Physical Touch
  • 7 Acts of Service
  • 7 Quality Time
  • 6 Receiving Gifts
  • 1 Words of Affirmation

I'll have to see what C's profile is :) Mine makes sense.. I've always thought that words could be very meaningless.. people can say anything. The proof's in the pudding' and all that.

[–]dottydarling01Late 20s, Married, 8 years2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nonsense sentence

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My love language results are:

  1. Words of Affirmation (10)
  2. Physical Touch (8)
  3. Quality Time (8)
  4. Acts of Service (4)
  5. Receiving Gifts (0)

The top three is really important to me. I need feedback in words. I cannot easily read into body (or other) language and it leaves me to guess what my SO thinks about certain things. Needless to say, leaving me to guess stuff = feeding the hamster.

I know I give love through acts of service and physical touch, but I'm not sure what my SO's love language would be if he'd take the test. My guess would be that he'd score high on quality time and acts of service.

Either way, a while ago he mentioned that he thinks we are very compatible. (Voiced opinion! Words! Nice words to hear on top of that! Yay)

[–]VintageVee29f, engaged, together 2yrs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My love language is - all of them! Seriously. I've read the book and am almost equal on all. Service just about tops out though. My man feels my love best through touch - frequent kisses, hugs, sex, massages.

[–]jade_cat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My love languages are a tie between Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. Third one is Physical Touch. There's nothing that I enjoy more than having my SO telling me things like "I am proud of you", "I appreciate what you do for me", etc.

As for how I like to express my love, it is by Giving Gifts and Acts of Service. I love choosing meaningful gifts for my husband and my family, and I love helping out by doing concrete actions when I know my husband has too many tasks to do. If I can help by taking off part of the burden off his shoulders so he can relax more, it makes me really happy. :)

My husband's primary love language is Acts of Service, then it's Quality Time. He likes to express his love by using mostly Words of Affirmation, then Quality Time and Acts of Service. Overall, we're a very good match in terms of love languages. :)

EDIT : Added husband's love languages.

[–]utleyaMid 20s, Married, 6 months2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is one of the first conversations my husband and I had when we started dating. His giving language is gifts, and my receiving language is gifts. My giving language is touch, and his receiving language is touch. That conversation really confirmed our compatibility.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here are my results

10 Quality Time 9 Words of Affirmation 8 Physical Touch 3 Acts of Service 0 Receiving Gifts

[–]liftinginthemoment27 | LTR | 3 years1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mine is Physical Touch followed by Acts of Service and I really think this is true! My SO's is a tie between Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. I think both of us had quality time third.

For me, words of affirmation was towards the bottom of the list (by memory it was second last, just ahead of gift giving). I think SO's are quite accurate too as he is very verbal in expressing his appreciation and love whereas I am not. Since knowing his love language I have made a conscious effort to express my feelings more in words and I can tell he really appreciates that! I'm definitely more of an "actions speak louder than words" person. But I do love that we both have physical touch first. I can really feel the love even when we're just lying there holding each other.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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