How old are you and how familiar are you with RPW? N/A. Married almost 1 year.
What is your relationship status? Married
What is the problem? (Don’t badmouth your SO!)
My SO is extremely emotional and has always wanted kids. He knocked up his ex when he was in his early 20s and she had an abortion because she didn't want kids. He left the relationship and hasn't spoken to her since. This was about 5-6 years ago? Recently he's been having nightmares about her/feeling heavily depressed, and I encouraged him to contact her to alleviate his depression. He said no. About 1-2 weeks later, I was pissed at him for some reason and feeling insecure (I have a long history of insecurity from all my relationships - stems from trust issues with my parents) and I snooped in his email. I recovered a deleted email and I found an email from him to her. It had no mention of me and he mentioned that he would never love anyone the way he loved her again. I was super pissed, confronted him and he admitted that he sent the email. He also told me to be careful as I didn't know what was going on in his head when he wrote it, it was completely emotional and he has no intention of getting back with her. After a long talk, I said okay so why don't you continue emailing her then? He said no. Because now it would not be authentic, and he would feel like I would be monitoring the situation.
Fast forward a few weeks, his depression is gone (Long story. I changed his diet). And I am getting tingles something is up. My husband reactivated his facebook about a month ago and changed his profile picture from our wedding picture to a picture of him when we were upset with each other. I have a suspicion that he is messaging her on facebook and talking to her there even though they are not friends on facebook. I think he still very guilty about the abortion and their relationship. He wants to make sure she is okay I think because she clearly has been alpha widowed (He found her blog that's a series of emotional rants about relationships).
My question is, should I confront him? Or STFU and let him do his thing and suck it up. I'm concerned that he will develop feelings for her again or meet with her... Our relationship is happy right now and we rarely get into arguments. The last major one was when I checked his email and saw the email.
How have you contributed to the problem?
I didn't let him talk to his ex via email the first time.
How long has this been an issue?
1-2 months.
What have you done to resolve this problem?
I am trying to not gain access into his facebook and be a nosy bitch. Let him talk to his ex if he needs to and give him his space.
If married or in a committed, monogamous relationship:
How long have you been together? Married almost a year. Together for a year +. Monogamous.
Is your relationship long-distance? No
Do you have an active bedroom life? Yes!
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