How your personality type expresses and asks for love

Littleknownfacts · 2016-04-03T06:13:20+00:00

INTJ/"Effectiveness"

I always test as INTJ and agree with its description of me. Its interpretation of how I ask about love is almost spot on. I care a lot about reliability and loyalty in a partner. However, I don't necessarily agree with the point about career goals, but I am not career-oriented by nature.

I also agree with how it says I say "I love you!" Especially with boasting about an SO's accomplishments. I absolutely love to gush about how awesome my SO is.

The misinterpretations are also primarily correct with the exception of controlling.

All in all, a great quiz and interesting read!

[deleted] · 2016-04-03T07:58:24+00:00

I am ESTJ so effectiveness.

The answers to "Do you love me?" Will you handle things – can I rely on you? Will you make my life easier, can I relax knowing you’re “on it?” Will you support my career and/or goals and be self-sufficient? Are you loyal?

I find the third and fourth questions speak to me. I am fine getting on stuff myself but like to be supported in my goals and loyalty is important.

How “Effectiveness” answers, “Yes! I love you!” I will be endlessly loyal on principle. I will educate myself on you and learn how you operate. I will take pride in you, boasting about your accomplishments >even before my own. I will protect you. I chose you. I continue to choose you. Case closed.

I do identify with these.

iloveyoubabi · 2016-04-03T06:58:35+00:00

I've done this personality test many times before and without fail, I always get INFP, which in this case is "Authenticity".

I must say, I wholeheartedly agree with what it says about how authenticity-driven people show love; with patience, and trust, and understanding. That's me 100%. Even how I ask about love is accurate. I value whether or not my man trusts me and believes in me very much, and I also value the space to be myself with him.

I thought this was a really fun and great read, thank you for sharing it.

UD_Lover · 2016-04-03T13:09:51+00:00

I'm an INTJ and I find this spot on. Actually it was eye-opening because one of my common gripes is that my marriage isn't particularly "romantic". I guess it is, just not in the stereotypical way.

sugarcrush · 2016-04-03T13:11:32+00:00

I am an ISFJ, so "harmony". I definitely agree! One of my main love languages is quality time, so that correlates together. I can also see how others can interpret me as clingy.

My husband is an INTJ, so reading through this it seems like there is not too much direct conflict in how we ask for love, which I find true to life. However, there are definitely times of conflict when I want attention and he's busy being effective. Very insightful post! I'm surprised with how accurate it is.

sariaru · 2016-04-04T07:45:51+00:00

I'm an ExFJ - I never test more than about 7% for N/S.

A lot of the Harmony questions and answers really resonated with me, but the thing that hit me hardest was the fact that its often seen as "smothering," which is the same word that my husband levels at me when I'm not doing a good enough job of respecting his space. He's a xxTP type, so when he needs his space, if I'm feeling quite low I often conflate this with a rejection of me.

This is super helpful for how I can better speak his language, which may as well be Mandarin Chinese sometimes!

tintedlipbalm · 2016-04-05T16:22:33+00:00

Wow, INTJ and never noticed how strongly really I valued loyalty until I read the questions for the other personality types. But I am not sure about the career goals aspect, I've never framed love that way even in my mind. I also tend to think frequently about the Harmony aspects (attributed to FJ types), especially looking for connection, protection and approval in my man.

jade_cat · 2016-04-06T01:06:22+00:00

INxJ : I score below 5% for F vs T, so I would be either "Harmony" or "Effectiveness". I feel that Harmony (INFJ) describes very accurately how I express my love to my husband, especially "I will meet your needs before I meet my own" and "I will check in regularly and make sure you’re okay". As for the asking for love part, the one that really resonates with me is "Do you accept and approve of me?". Approval of my husband is of utmost importance for me.

My husband is INTJ all the way, and the description of "Effectiveness" fits him very well too, especially the "I chose you. I continue to choose you. Case closed.".

Thanks for sharing these links !

PixieDelights · 2016-04-06T01:49:02+00:00

ISTJ / Effectiveness

My boss loves the Myers Brigg stuff, so I have been aware of being an ISTJ for years. I think it has been pretty accurate. One site labels ISTJ's as "The Duty Fulfiller". There are strengths to that (loyal, dependable, gets things done) but I have also experienced the weaknesses (taking on too much work, being too controlling, falling into "catastrophe mode")

The Effectiviness part is something to to me, but as soon as I read "Will you handle things – can I rely on you?" as one way that people in this category ask "Do you love me?" I realized that yes, that is me.

Camille11325 · 2016-04-04T10:41:46+00:00

This is so accurate! I am an ENFP, M is an INTJ. Over the course of our relationship, we have both used every statement and question listed under our MBTI type - with the exact wording. So glad you reposted this :)

[deleted] · 2016-04-04T14:07:32+00:00

INFJ / Harmony

I always loved this page and always try to keep it in mind. Given that I'm in introspection mode, I'm looking at the pros and cons of my MBTI love language!

I will meet your needs before I meet my own. I will check in regularly and make sure you’re okay. I will do my best to keep morale up. I will show you appreciation in whatever way I’d like to be shown appreciation.

These are all really nice traits to have for an SO, but where I need to be cautious showing these traits ONLY to my future SO, and not just anyone I may care about or be close to. So, for example, if I were dating an INTJ, and one of their MBTI love language questions included Are you loyal?, and I was showing my language of meeting someone else's needs before my SOs -- no matter how small, then I already sent the message to my INTJ that I'm not loyal. Communication issues like that, in the past, I dismissed for whatever reason but now I see just how big a deal it is.

It's vital to figure out how your partner expresses and receives love in the beginning, so that you can work out those disagreements early and build a solid emotional foundation.

[deleted] · 2016-04-07T00:28:33+00:00

My type is INFP so I got Authenticity. I only ever get typed as that. I feel it does suit me and have never questioned my MBTI type. I like the answers on how my type says I love you are also accurate for me. :)

[deleted] · 2016-08-16T17:56:36+00:00

Me: ESFJ Him: INTP

They are spot on! INTP: "Do you think I’m totally competent?" While he's never said those exact words I'm thinking to how he talks in the evening when he tells me about his work. It's like he's bragging a bit about his intelligence and he wants me to praise him - Perhaps I should more. Most of what he says about work goes over my head. But I don't really need to understand the ins and outs of the engine to know my husband is a great engineer. :)