TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

63

In our better years, my wife and I used to laugh about her "tableaux"'. For example, if I went out with a bro, which happened rarely enough, despite all the "yeah, go have fun!"s, we both knew there would be something waiting for me when I got back. I'd get home late and she'd be pretending to sleep on the couch, shoulders bunched up in fury. At times like that, I'd sit down next to her, talk about my night and drag her into the bed and the next day we'd laugh at it.

She always said afterward that she knew what she was doing was dumb. She just couldn't help herself.

A couple of years back, the tableaux was replaced with something darker, more serious. I could ignore it but without the laughter, I was afraid to tackle it head-on, as it could only escalate to places I was afraid to go.

The gaps between what was "normal" and the dark periods got shorter until it seemed like darkness was all there was.

Obviously: fuck that shit.

I came here. Got lost. Reset. Got better. Faked it a while. Learned some shit. Regressed. Progressed. And eventually, something clicked.

The other night as my wife sat with her back to me, raging at some imagined slight, I realized it was kind of funny. I impulsively said, "let's touch butts!". She grudgingly wiggled her ass against mine and all of a sudden the laughter was back.

My son had a nuclear tantrum he couldn't calm himself from. But once he was safe and contained and I knew it was just a waiting game. It was kind of funny. As I chuckled at this, he screamed "stop laughing daddy!" and immediately calmed down.

After a real blow out over dinner, my wife stormed off home on her own. For reference, this indicates she requires either a full and unequivocal apology or a full 24 hours of sulking according to the Rpeed family manual. But when I arrived home (much later) and saw her, It just seemed funny. I couldn't help but snigger. We locked eyes. I laughed. And we were both laughing.

I guess when you get out of her frame and back into yours, you find the right tools for you. And for me, laughter might be the best medicine.

TL:DR: I thought I had my shit dialed in but my foundation was weak. I was working on Game, while failing on shit tests. I haven't quite completed this level but I've seen the full map now. Maybe I got the giant key from the dead boss and all I have to do is backtrack a bit and unlock the elevator to head up.


[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oldest child in the house. Internalize this and so much falls into place.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP APPROVED7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep grinding. You’re learning, so you’re on the right track

[–]UEMcGillMarried- MRP MODERATOR9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have this thing I do with all my kids, (wife included).

I look at them when they are angry and say, "That's great! Oh man you are so mad. Look at you. You look super duper angry. Keep it up.

Just don't laugh.

I mean it.

Wait, stop! I mean it. Stop laughing."

They're seeking attention. So I give it to them. Silly, nonsensical attention. If in the hardest of situations they still won't budge, I remove them.

Kids get sent to their room, "Ok, I see you need to deal with this. Why don't you go to your room and work through it."

Wife, just gets ignored, "Oh ok, you're pretty upset. When you're ready to talk let me know."

[–]RPeedEverything is GAY / Dreadful '19[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ha, I tested this pretty much word for word a couple of times with my son and found it very effective.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a legit goal of making my wife laugh at least once a day.

Athol Kay talks about the ten second kiss, and making it a daily thing, and that's important.

I think the laughter is important too. Good post.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Amused Mastery (AM) for the win.

[–]bowhunter64 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can’t agree more. Laughter is critical. My marriage was not really “fun”, and I was not able to get my ex-wife to laugh a ton. Never got my jokes, was only occasionally fun, probably bc she saw me as BB. I make my new bitch laugh constantly, and it helps to keep her in my frame. Even when she is all upset by whatever, I can get her over it quite easily. Another tool to manage your woman’s emotions. Master her emotions and you master the woman.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Life is a game and its one you dont want to lose.

[–]WeightsNCheatDatesGrinding2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Had a date night light night and tried to keep laughter in mind. I was making all of the jokes I used to, she was calling me an asshole and loving every minute of it. Passed a few shit tests, escalated in bed and smashed. Great overall night.

[–]silversum1Grinding / Dreadful1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like this, thank-you for sharing.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As always, the focus on becoming has always been.... grind.

But if your crew is on a neverending sufferfest, they'll undoubtedly mutiny.

Remember to add life into the mix.

[–]BluBlac591 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I talk to my girl during sex about daily events or the weather just stuff I would normally talk about if we just got home after work. And I make jokes during sex too. Even if her eye are closed and she's close to getting hers. She loves it. Sex strait to orgasm is boring anyway.

[–]SKRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When you create a strong field of energy, others are drawn into it.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

IDGAF Achievement Awarded.

Passing Shit Tests comes first. Then building yourself. Then gaming the wife. Why do so many guys ignore the clear directions and solutions developed by thousands of men over the last 5 years?

[–]RPeedEverything is GAY / Dreadful '19[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ha, it was not deliberate on my part - more “but I already do that?!”.

As has also been said for 5 years: it is different when you internalize it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter