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When she cheats on you, you burn that shit down. The only position of power after being cheated on is to scorch the earth and allow time to regrow new fruit.

I’m seeing too many guys coming in here letting their women rug sweep infidelity and controlling the outcome of their disloyalties, fuck that.

Even if you want to give her a second chance, you burn that shit down. She gets demoted to negative priorty and can audition amongst the new pussy you’re now entertaining. If she’s truly remorseful she’ll crawl through shit to get back into your good graces, if not then the truth is exposed.

I’m not proposing this as a plan to take her back because I’m wiling to bet once new pussy is in play and the smoke clears the fields, any man of value will have moved on.

Beyond that most of your wives won’t put in the effort, beyond lip service, to get back to being worthy of your time. They are not willing to do much more than continue to try and manipulate you, wake the fuck up!

And realize any resistance to this is derived from your weakness. So much of the problems I read here are rooted in weakness. Your need to seek comfort and unwillingness to accept immediate pain is the reason for your suffering.

Lean into the pain, learn to be grateful for it. It’s there you’ll find change, growth and progress.


[–]Cam_Winston2151 points52 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

MRP fixes the man, not the marriage.

The marriage died the moment that cheating whore became its enemy.

[–]Big_Stomper71 points72 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If she cheated on you, as much of a giant blow to your life/ego it is, she did you a favor. She showed you her value, and how little she values you.

This happened to me because I continued to improve my SMV (the band I created took off, female attention came with it, hit the gym, had my own life outside of just being the BB dad), while she wallowed in BPD and swung down to make sure she had someone if I finally got tired of her and the dead bedroom. Her low self esteem and shitty attitude cost her everything, but she set me free.

Getting that chain severed and working through that life blow forged me into the man I am... I upped my game even more, and my picky ass ended up with the hottest woman I’ve ever seen, who has the sexual appetite to match my own, is fun, low n count, etc. it’s fucking awesome.

That first taste of new ass will be enough to snap you out of it once you’ve done the hard mental work and made gym life your new thing.

So take that pain and forge yourself into the man you want to be. Cheaters will manipulate you, nip that shit in the bud and be your best version of yourself.

[–]splittinherkitten8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. Very encouraging. Thanks for sharing. Gym life is already a habit for me. I’m all good there. Lately I’ve been spending more time with friends. I know a couple interested females, I’ve held back so far because I’ve been keeping hope that I can just have the family life I wanted when I got married. But, even though wife is over her cheating(obviously, she’s not the one who got shat on), I am stuck on it.

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So she cheated on you because of her low self-esteem, shitty attitude, and borderline personality disorder - the alleged curse of every scorned MRP contributor?

Glad you're "freed" but maybe some introspection is in order.

With that said, your message of moving on is an important one.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

***Strategically***

Burn that shit down.

Follow RP’s divorce prep guide, read my history and prepare for battle.

Dont get fucked over in both the marriage and divorce.

And above all STFU until you have a plan.

[–]fuckmrpMRP APPROVED[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Solid add for our autistic rambos here.

[–]redismyfuture7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I read your situation and it really hit home that I need to always be 2 steps ahead. Y'all say the stay plan is the go PLAN for a reason. It's a fucking plan in place ahead of time.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Have to preface with an IMO as MRP has been divided in the past on this...

But...

I hate to say it (especially as a mod), but I just nope on these posts.

If you somehow made it here, she cheated and you are still in bargaining mode with how to keep her...it's just a waste of time to try to talk any sense into you. You haven't let go. You're mired. Until they come back and post some anger and are clearly moving on is there anyway to break through.

And I don't even care if it's THE GUY'S FAULT FOR BEING A BETA AND DROVE HER TO CHEAT. Whatever little respect she didn't have to begin with she'll have even less of now. You try to rebuild a house on an old outhouse and there will always be the lingering smell of shit in the air.

I know there's guys on here who have somehow "made it work for reasons " but it just doesn't compute to me. It breaks my brain, frame, map... and personal code of what are some hard stops.

We say mrp is on hard mode. But that shouldn't be nightmare mode.

[–]framelessglasses13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, so many men come here with all kinds of "reasons" to make their shit show work. Usually it's "for the children".

Strange to me the number of grow ass men that have their lives being dictated to them not only by a shitty wife, but their bratty children too. Once you give your power away, it runs deep and wide.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I agree. It would be the easiest decision I’d ever make. The only thing I would think about is how I’m going to execute the exit. Slow and strategically

[–]framelessglasses2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Nope, swift and bloody for me.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds good on paper but don’t forget the legal cards are stacked well against you.

[–]framelessglasses2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, but in my state, the financial results are not going to vary much. No fault, equitable distribution rules don't leave a lot of room, unless you can get your STBX to give something away, and get a judge to approve it.

In that vein, having the moral high ground of the "poor offended husband, and the cheating wife" could play well for getting a quick settlement. That could even play to a slightly better financial settlement for me. My kids are grown, but if they weren't, I could make a case for additional custody for me as "the good guy" vs. her as "the fallen woman", and, of course reduced child support payments for her. Moving quickly would be best, since "the moral high ground" can evaporate suddenly.

Edit : One last thing. The best outcome is a quick fair settlement. I would want the settlement to be equitable, and, I would want it over as quickly as possible. No point wasting any more of my precious time farting around trying to get a few pennies extra. Pull the tape off fast and get the pain over with, thus my original statement, swift and bloody.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Rooting through the garbage :(

[–]framelessglasses1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

More like buying more garbage.

[–]Stabby_Feminist77 points78 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

There is nothing sweeter than denying her when she comes crawling back after her affair. I hit the gym hard, got a new job making about 40k more a year, had a new house of my own, stopped drinking, lifting daily, was running marathons, and banging girls 15 years younger than me, when my ex tried to weasel her way back into my life, saying she wanted to hang out as friends one night.

She sat on my sofa, and within one beer, started trying to get on top of me, taking her shirt off, stuff like that. I sat there, repeating myself that she needed to get off of me and leave. Wasn't going to lay a hand on her so that she couldn't accuse me of anything. She kept at it, trying to shove her boobs in my mouth. I finally had to threaten to call the police because she was sexually assaulting me. I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw that I was dead serious.

Obviously, I was stupid as hell for ever letting her come over in the first place. Her manipulation never stops. She's always the same person... cheating, loyal, whatever... she's just behaving in whatever way gets her what she wants. In that case, what she wanted was access to my resources. Denied.

[–]ahackercalled4chanUnplugging19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

good on you bro. refreshing to hear that you have the self-respect & discipline to draw a hard line & hold yourself to it.

[–]Stabby_Feminist11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Took a looooong time, but this and the other RP sub were invaluable in helping me finally get it.

[–]Big_Stomper6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That is solid frame my man. Nice work, and smart move to not get an easy lay here... that would more than likely been way more trouble.

Denying pathetic attempts at manipulating you back into her world is quite liberating, especially when you know you have better waiting to hear from you that very moment.

[–]Stabby_Feminist17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep. Pathetic is really the only word I could think of when she left. I was thinking that it would be good for us to do some reconciliation and try to be friendly for the kids' sake. What I learned was that she was so desperate for attention and resources (and her former life) that she was willing to embarrass herself to the point of criminality.

To your point about better waiting for you... yep. Actually minutes after the ex left, the neighbor girl (and former coworker) texted me, asking why the hell my ex was leaving my house at night. I told her the story over text, then invited her over. We were in my bed 2 hours later. Turned into a decent FWB for awhile till she moved away. Abundance is real, guys.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Obligatory angsty reply.

[–]Stabby_Feminist3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah?

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Angsty and edgy.

[–]BluBlac5917 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My ex wife got a boyfriend and I was so disgusted that I'll just signed the house over to her if she would take all the credit card debt and the mortgage. She and her boyfriend jumped at it. So I was divorced with excellent credit and no debt. My exwifes younger and hotter sister didn't know that she had a boyfriend and was pretty disgusted by it all. She showed up on the porch of the place I was renting and wanted me to know she had nothing to do with it. Then she asked, is there anything I can, do ? And I said do you want to go out. She said yes and we went out and I banged her that night. It was great. She stayed with me for about two weeks. We let her my ex wife know by going around everywhere after work I loved it. Made me feel great then once I found out who he was I got in touch with his wife and did the same thing with her. I then went out and bought my own house a new pick- up and a new Harley. I was 27 years old and loving life. I stayed single and dated a lot if women until into my 40s. My present wife threatens to leave me sometimes but I prefer to be single.so it's not a threat. There's more to my ex wife story but this much is pretty good. I did take it hard. But then buying a truck, a bike and my own house and banging her little sister and his wife was awesome. And made my a legend among my friends and got me a lot of free drinks. The guys loved it and many of the women wanted to fuck me. The best time of my life.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow...I...I like you! (No homo).

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for re-asserting this. So many bargaining faggots posting on AskMRP lately about how they can adopt the Red Pill mindset to turn their cheating whore back into their blue pill housewife, along with people actually entertaining their delusion in the comments section.

[–]Kpwn887 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So many bargaining faggots posting on AskMRP lately

Makes one wearing a properly fitted tinfoil hat wonder how many of these posts are actually cheating housewives or trolls.

[–]mrp_awakening6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

AskMRP is either that, or it's "Today in the adventures of Rambo..."

[–]mrp_awakening14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She gets demoted to negative priorty and can audition amongst the new pussy you’re now entertaining. If she’s truly remorseful she’ll crawl through shit to get back into your good graces, if not then the truth is exposed.

Bingo. If I ever got cheated on, I'd immediately start seeing whomever I please. If she really thinks she's made a mistake, she'll give me my space, stop fucking around, and try to get me back while I do my thing. Odds of that happening are like nil. Even then, not sure if I'd agree to monogamy again at that point. If she really wanted it though, she'd keep me monogamous by keeping me constantly entertained with minimal effort on my part (i.e. constant supply of high quality sex and best behavior at all times), not by an agreement to not see other people. Basically, she'd have to get me to stop fucking around by making sure it's not worth the effort.

[–]bostezo2213 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post, this has to be said.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

THIS.... SCORCHED EARTH. Getting cheated on is a favor, it's a blessing. Drop your ego and look at it for what it is.. What it is, is that in no uncertain terms...

  1. You've been told that you don't fucking matter to her.
  2. Your relationship means shit to her.
  3. This partner of yours is not honest, is not courageous, has poor communication skills, has sexual issues, disregards your boundaries, doesn't value you, doesn't value herself. So many fucking red flags.

I don't know if you've ever cheated. I have (never on wife), and I can say that I was a POS at the time and the relationship was horrible but I was too much of a coward to end it because I was selfish and enjoyed having multiple partners.

[–]catchpull3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Here’s a good honest self reflecting answer. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. I shouldn’t have been in a relationship. Cheating is a perfect indication of that. A good policy is to empathize but not forgive the cheater. It would be like if a teacher gave you an A for cheating on a test. Who the fuck would do that.... yet in relationships we think common sense doesn’t apply to us.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she cheats once, there is no reason for her not to cheat again. It's like blood in the water.

[–]TheBiss9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She showed up for our court date, started a sob story to the judge about how she wasn't sure that she wanted a divorce. My mind immediately went into crisis management mode (explaining what I found out to be multiple affairs over the course of our marriage), when the judge said, "The state of North Carolina has given you a year to get your affairs in order, and as we are a one-party state, the court rules for the plaintiff. Divorce granted. Best of luck to the both of you."

As we were leaving the courtroom, I turned to her and said, "What the hell was that back in there? You brought this on yourself. Own it. Learn from it, and go be a better person."

Six months later I got a call from her boyfriend whining about the fact that she was cheating on him; which was kind of a weird situation, but whatever. I said to him, "Dude she's not interested in you. Only what you can do for her. If you're going to stay with her you have to put up with her shit."

[–]JameisBong0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wait what? Ahahahaha

[–]smokecheck197610 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of my uncles went through this.

He let one of his son's friends move in because the young man had been kicked out of his parent's house and had no where to go. A few months and some suspicions later, he took a day off but left for work normally. He caught them in the act when he quietly re-entered the home. The young man probably had his life flash before his eyes as he begged for forgiveness. My uncle just told him to get out of the house and never return. His wife tried to blame him for the hours he worked, when she never worked outside of the house, and then realized she had fucked up and started begging him to forgive her. He told her that she knew that he would never countenance cheating and she had better get her stuff moved next door to her parent's house.

The divorce hits. She gets half of his sizeable retirement. She immediately goes on an Alaskan cruise. She then rented a beach condo for the summer where she ended up giving her son's boyfriend alcohol poisoning that killed him, she knew he had medical conditions and needed to stay away from the alcohol and she made sure the stuff he liked was available. All in all, she managed to blow through her portion of his retirement in mere months.

The funny thing is, she is right back where she started, all the way back. She lives with her parents, next to him. She comes over and cooks his meals and has sex with him whenever he wants. She wants to re-marry but has been told repeatedly that it won't ever happen. Meanwhile, he has two or three other women that stop by and do whatever he wants as well. She hates them, but she isn't even allowed in her old home without his permission.

[–]Chump_No_MoreHard Core Nuclear Navy Red25 points26 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

As a man who has lived this, trying to 'reconcile' as I was absorbing TRP, I fully endorse this post.

Every man must follow his own path, and while there is some value to using your STBX as the stone to hone your steel, from my experience and the testimony of others here... walking away is inevitable.

When Mental Point of Origin, abundance, and internalizing your value reaches the critical point, and accepting that any kind of parity is unachievable, I guarantee it will be an epiphanal moment.

Mine was a Sunday Morning on the front porch, enjoying my coffee and the sunrise... it was a 2x4 right between the eyes.

I formulated and executed my withdrawal within a matter of weeks... walked away from a lifetime of 'things' and started over.

Best.Thing. Ever.

It's been over 6 years now, and at 58, I have still not reached my peak... It's truly better every day.

To rise from the ashes, you must walk away.

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" and to win everything, you must be willing to lose everything.

[–]Stabby_Feminist4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love this post, man. I'm 20 years your junior, but feel like I went through the same exact process just a few years ago.

[–]JCX_PulseFreedom isn't free1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reminds me of the movie Ronin. I look up to your ability to have such value in yourself.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You mean a metaphorical 2x4 right?

[–]Chump_No_MoreHard Core Nuclear Navy Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It might as well been real because it sure as fuck felt like one.

Part of sorting my shit out was working with a therapist... an old, retired Methodist minister. It started as 'Couples Counseling', but it only took a few sessions before he 'fired' the stbx.

We discussed & agreed on many RP truths because, ironically, most of it is just common sense once you open yourself to it. One of those truths, along side his wisdom by way of Rolling Stone lyrics, was,

It's okay to say, "I don't know".

Little did I know that was my first lesson in letting go of Ego.

As long as you are owning and confronting your shit, the answers will come in due time. And when they do, do not waste a single additional second.

I didn't and I have never looked back.

[–]AddledThoughts0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Epic Post Man.

[–]UnbreakableFrameGrinding9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a hard, but necessary truth.

[–]theunconquored7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Right on right on.

In my marriage, we have very direct communication. She knows that I have options and that I choose her. But she also knows that if she walks through one of my red lines, it’s over. All the way over.

And before the autists come out...I’ve earned the right to say that to her, which is the entire key.

[–]scramj3t10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This should be the stance of every married man... no exceptions.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing negates a woman cheating like bringing home new pussy to fuck with her knowledge

[–]PussyEatingT-Rex7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Truth as fuck

[–]_infinite_Thoughts8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This should be pinned. Not enough men walk away from women who cheat. Only give a woman one chance....after that move on

[–]tspitsatgp6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As one of the aforementioned, and with the aide of hindsight, I agree.

If you do not burn it to the ground and allow new fruit to grow, it creates a dynamic which puts you in a very weak and unattractive position with your wife holding way too much power.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I agree with almost everything you have said.

What are the rules if the guy cheats?

Asking for a friend.

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why was anyone ever surprised that Tiger Woods was banging 20+ models when he was married? The fact that anyone was surprised blows my mind.

I guarantee you Tiger wasn't going around saying "Yo. I want to make you my new wife."

[–]JameisBong4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hookers, the wife probably stopped putting out once she got pregnant... Happened to me so i can relate. Hookers can keep you from going nuts in a DB situation.

[–]fuckmrpMRP APPROVED[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Depends on the dude. A beta turd will need to string along some side chick with prospective relationship bullshit, maybe even lie about being married completely.

A man of value will decide to accept an offer for pussy and she will fully understand his situation. He does not chase nor misrepresent himself in any way.

When a man of value cheats she needs to step up her fucking game, dudes don’t cheat with empty balls. When a beta turd cheats shes better off without him anyway.

This usually plays out organically as the guy with options just takes the loss and moves on if she wont accept any blame for the issue where a beta will grovel for forgiveness.

A married dude with kids has a fuck ton to lose in todays world of divorce. He’s virtually loading the gun for her. Even more so a man of value as hes going to lose a sizable portion of what hes worked for.

Its a double standard as it should be because it’s easy to be a slut but its hard work to be a man of value.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Its a double standard as it should be because it’s easy to be a slut but its hard work to be a man of value.

i would also add it's a double standard because the two sexes are not the same in regard to mate guarding and attraction. as much as it might hurt her feelz, a woman is turned on by her high value man having options. not true for men. sorry . . . biology

[–]fuckmrpMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve always enjoyed your perspective, solid add.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. If a woman discovers her husband's infidelity and files for divorce because of it, a court will inject punitive elements into its rulings. The court will punish him for cheating. Courts aren't supposed to punish either party for "fault". But, they will punish a husband for infidelity.

[–]hiddenpleasures1235 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm from my previous marriage: Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Also, just because she got caught this time, doesn't make it the first.

Two pieces of information right here, is all you'll ever need to know when you get cheated on.

[–]suprathepegGrinding4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck yes.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

[–]valdry2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve never understood the desire to be a willing cuck! She might as well spit in your face and f him in front of you. And you take her back??

[–]Throwawayhelper4201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Abundance attitude is real and necessary. If you have abundance you realize it’s easier and more satisfying to burn everything down and do it again with someone better.

If you don’t, you try your hardest to win your wife back. You may even succeed, but chances are it would have been 100 times easier to start over with someone who has no memories of you being a beta bitch and no fantasies of what it was like when she used to fuck someone behind your back.

More likely you have a wife who now knows you’re willing to forgive her for anything, one who likely has no other options, with an encyclopedic memory of every pussy thing you did that “made her cheat”. Just move on.

[–]One_time_back_when0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I agree with the message, but going full scorched Earth isn't always the best method. Typically that involves throwing a lot of money away on lawyers never to be seen again. It's also high stress and conflict. Not the best for your long term health or kids. That's not for everyone.

[–]Dialerstring13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

My wife cheated on me in 2016 and we are still together. We have 2 small kids which was MY driving force for giving her a second chance. The overall marriage "appears to be better" but a part of me will always have trepidation. I agree with the original post that we should lean into the pain. It's very difficult to get a women to respect you, after you've taken her back after she cheated on you. Looking back, I should have scorched the earth and allowed new fruit to grow.

[–]One_time_back_when6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think I misinterpreted op's use of "scortched Earth". I took it to mean the typical contentious divorce situation where you fight and argue over everything and hate each other. It seems his meaning was just to end the relationship entirely. I agree with that approach

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep. I've rescinded my downvote, sir. Basically, the moment she cheats, she's killed whatever relationship you two had going on. At that point, like any loss, one enters the 5 stages of grief.

Refusing to exit the relationship at that point is denialism.

Attempting to adopt redpill to win her back is bargaining.

Turning into a mate guarding raging buffoon is the Anger phase.

Letting go, and learning what to correct in future relations is acceptance.

Letting go of the anger and resentment and living your best life in the aftermath is forgiveness, and its for yourself, not her, but without accepting your own part in it and correcting yourself, its actually just another form of denialism.

[–]fuckmrpMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

👍🏻 Bingo

[–]TheThirdT1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Better for who?

[–]Dialerstring1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Seems to be better for her and I. I quoted that as sarcasm b/c I’ve have one foot out the door of the marriage now. I’m going to post in OYS next Tuesday b/c there is way to much detail than to share here.

[–]TheThirdT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you have a plan. Best of luck.

[–]Kpwn881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Avaunt, you fairy!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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