Red Pill ExampleHypergamy in Action: "How do I break up with an old boyfriend whom I have dated for 4 years, for a new, better guy I've known for 1 year?" (self.TheRedPill)

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Dating and Relationships: How do I break up with old boyfriend of 4 years for a new, better guy of 1 year? I've been dating my current boyfriend for 4 years he's a good guy. Only this other guy who started out as only a friend because I was already taken, is looking more interesting and much more exciting and he's dreamy model hot looking. I've hung out with him for a year as a friend, and he keeps asking me out. They both make around the same salary, everything else is similar. wrote: Dating and Relationships: How do I break up with old boyfriend of 4 years for a new, better guy of 1 year? I've been dating my current boyfriend for 4 years he's a good guy. Only this other guy who started out as only a friend because I was already taken, is looking more interesting and much more exciting and he's dreamy model hot looking. I've hung out with him for a year as a friend, and he keeps asking me out. They both make around the same salary, everything else is similar.

The answer by a PUA/dating coach is interesting:

I'm going to help you, by telling you how this is going to end.

In less than a year, you're going to end up losing both men, and be filled with self-loathing at the horrible choices you made in the preceding year, while you chow down on a tub of ice cream on February 14th, 2015.

In that dark moment, when you fire up Quora and reread your question from a year ago, your mind will be filled with befuddlement - "How the hell did this Kai chap know so much in advance? Is he a sorcerer or some sort of psychic?"


But the answers are right there in your question.

  1. The fact that you fixate on "they both make the same salary" and "dreamy model hot looking" aspects of the two men is telling.

You didn't care to mention the shared history you had with your four-year relationship, the moral character /thoughtfulness/ intelligence /kindness of your current boyfriend.

They are irrelevant to you.

From your point of view, the man you're with is a salary and a face.

By that metric, the new guy is the same salary, but with a better face. Clearly, this means you "deserve" to upgrade to the better model, since they're otherwise interchangeable.

To you, this is the equation you're evaluating:

Time to upgrade to the better Christian.

  1. I've hung out with him for a year as a friend, and he keeps asking me out.

So not only is Mr. Dreamy-model-hot-looking guy the sort of douchy dickwad willing to hit on a woman who is in an exclusive relationship ... he is willing to repeatedly do so after being (presumably) rebuffed at first for over a year?

Looks like you have a real winner here.

I have male friends who maintain multiple girlfriends, those in polyamorous relationships, and those who only are in serious monogamous relationships. The one thing they have in common is that they are honest and communicate with clarity and directness with the women whose beds they share.

My time is precious, and I do not waste it consorting with backstabbing dickwads who lie to women (or men).

Here's the harsh truth:

Your dreamy-model-hot "upgrade" is a low-class scumbag willing to creep around another man's back for over a year to seduce a woman who is in an established relationship.

Clearly, he holds the sanctity of others' relationships in low regard.

How do you think he will treat his relationship with you, once you open heart and body to him?

With all that said - you've already committed emotional infidelity, regardless of whether you've slept with this guy or not (though if I were a betting man, I'd wager you already have).

You are unfit to be in a relationship with an honest man, and you should do your current boyfriend a favor and formally end things, so he can be free to be with someone worthy of being loved by him.

Go and enjoy your fling with Mr. Dreamy-Model-Hot-Guy for the [X] months that it lasts. And when you discover he is cheating on you with another woman he seduced away from her boyfriend/husband, please come back to Quora and fire up the anonymous question:

"Help!!! How do I get over being cheated on and dumped by a dreamy-model-hot guy/How do I get back my loyal boyfriend of 4 years?"

If you A2A me, I promise I will answer that question.

Though I suspect you will probably dislike that answer as much as you dislike this one. Razz

[–]Dreamtrain 53 points54 points  (0 children)

My favorite response:

Before doing anything else, please ask about bonus and any stock options. Salary is only a part of total compensation, you need to look at larger picture. Ah.. I guess you can't.

[–]rubycando 193 points194 points  (58 children)

One of the best responses I've ever read on the topic "how to whore better". I love the metaphor about "salary and face", I believe it encompasses, frames and describes what's left of the American reality on inter-gender relationships. It's also mind boggling how far from decency, morality and humanity the women have fallen on certain parts of the world.

[–]1thrownaway_MGTOW 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's also mind boggling how far from decency, morality and humanity the women have fallen on certain parts of the world.

This presumes that they were ever NOT "fallen" to begin with -- i.e. that women (unforced and NOT in a male controlled system) held those traites you denote, "decency, morality, humanity" as valuable.

They are all MALE-created abstract values, with which the female gender at large has ever only had superficial acquaintance with.

[–]bazola01 3 points4 points  (9 children)

the women

I wouldn't just yet classify all women the same just because of one gold-digging skank, though I have seen my fair share of these cunts in my days living in Silicon Valley.

[–]rubycando 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Don't let the wording fool you my friend (I did not use "gold digging whore" simply because I'm past frustration with women, I no longer love or hate women, I understand them) What "gold digging whores" means, albeit encoded with anger and perhaps resentment, is hypergamy, and in this respect all women are like that (AWALT). This is how 4 million years of evolution has shaped them, this is how they survive. Their ability to find better males to keep them alive in the big bad world has shape their behavior to the point where it is now. While is no longer congruent with what our current society seems to encourage, it is none the less, still true. A woman looking for a better male is a woman trying to survive, and nothing is more powerful than survival instinct. Our only true weapon against their instinct to find a better man is understanding it for what it is (instinct), finding it's weak spot (attraction as a spectrum of desirable traits), and use this to keep them. This also is as old as humanity and we refer it here as SMV.

It's very hard to understand, and even harder to accept and internalize (until it's second nature) but it's true ... AWALT. It's not their fault, they are not to be blamed and we should not punish them for it, but getting ourselves to that state of mind is a long process. They are trying to survive, even if they do so without ever articulating it like that (to a woman her emotions and instincts feel very similar), what we are trying to do here is learn how to survive too as men under this circumstances.

[–]bazola01 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I concur. I guess I misunderstood what you were saying. Thanks for the insight and further explanation of your meaning.


4 million years of evolution has shaped

Made me reread the history of human evolution.

[–]rubycando 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I'll give you that, seems like I pulled that number out of my ass, let me rephrase that:

4 million years ... give or take a few millions.

I'm glad my message got through anyway.

[–]bazola01 3 points4 points  (2 children)

4 million years ... give or take a few millions.

Depends on who you ask and what exactly we're talking about, regardless, you are in the right ballpark anyhow.

I'm glad my message got through anyway.

Oh that condescension... ;) Or at least it hints that a bit. Or maybe the damn heat (where I am atm) is getting the best of me.

[–]rubycando 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ugmmm ...heat... yeah, I blame that :)

On a serious note, it wasn't even a hint ... I was trying to be funny and i forgot to type the smiley :) I hate smileys (as you can tell) and I'm trying to stay clean, but I'm ESL so sometimes it doesn't work.

[–]bazola01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugmmm ...heat... yeah, I blame that :)

I'm a northerner living in a desert atm. IT.FUCKING.SUCKS.

All's good otherwise, who cares really, it's the interwebs.

[–]dumgum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how 4 million years of evolution has shaped them, this is how they survive.

Even after going through the sidebar and many posts, I was resisting the AWALT portion of TRP. Your comment made me realize what it actually means, and I'm now ready to internalize it. There's the evolutionarily designed innate tendencies (in both men and women), and then there's conscious choices. In the innate tendencies, AWALT - and that's always going to influence them, however much they consciously try and choose otherwise. Some women may fight the tendencies better than the others, but it's always going to be there and ready to rear its head any time.

Understanding that is going to make my TRP journey much smoother, thanks.

[–]AUAUA 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't call them cunts, that's to harsh. Bitch, whore or gold digging slut is more appropriate

[–][deleted] 121 points121 points

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[–]Endorsed ContributorWe_Are_Legion 25 points26 points  (38 children)

Knows how to make a dating profile too. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/kaichang

10/10, would bang.

EDIT: I am not doxxing. Calm down. If you'll click the quora link in OP, he pretty much invited people to it.

I post the link here because I think he's a good example of someone who knows how to convey value. Man has a full life. Is honest. Upfront. And not needlessly modest. If you do online dating on sites like these at all, as opposed to in person, this is how.

[–]Casanova-Quinn 41 points42 points  (4 children)

Can you take a screenshot? I'm not creating an okcupid profile just view this guy's page.

[–]Endorsed ContributorWe_Are_Legion 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Link. I made one mostly because I was curious who dated miss hong kong.

So while I don't do online dating, if I had to try this might be what I'd do. Lots of value, lots of personality, very straightforward, doesn't lay anything on thick, but still gets it through very well. Not precisely RP, but this guy is a good example.

I'm actually really curious how well this is working out for you, /u/kaichang. Feel free to say hi. How do women generally respond to this type of thing?

(Someone invited the focus of the OP back.)

[–]blue_27 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Shit ... it even says I'm a 78% match with him.

[–]Chrispy3690 5 points6 points  (0 children)

oh shit lol (80%) does this mean we're dating already?

[–]texx77 11 points12 points  (0 children)

and he's a 6 ft asian? Damn he got a real good dice roll.

[–]HoneyVortex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think he's too serious but I like his taste in fiction. (I'm not a chick)

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Women see 6'0" and you don't really need to know how to make one.

[–]NoLongerSisyphus 4 points5 points  (11 children)

Lol. If you are logged into OkCupid and clicked that link, you just outed yourself as being a TRP reader.

[–]AbsoluteAltitude 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I didn't realize we needed to hide from scrutiny like children being scared of consequences.

[–]IveSeenOneUpClose 14 points14 points [recovered]

And why should someone be ashamed of what they read? If anyone close to you gives a shit about you reading trp, you know who the real cockbag is.

[–]Average_Black_Man 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Potential doxxing by BPers

[–]M_rafay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If people I know are from there, I think my opinion of them would drop more than reverse.

[–]Chrispy3690 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pfffft... and they said A-list was only for trolls.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wouldn't that data only appear to him, though?

[–]fanfanye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, but before we clicked on it, we don't actually know who's profile we are clicking on.

[–]bazola01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10/10, would bang.

If you are a shallow skank, of course you would. Just another PUA cheese-ball douchy profile, nothing more, designed to attract "the kinda chicks that would double up on a dude like" that.

Good for him though, everyone's gotta have a hobby, right?

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]M_rafay 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I don't get it... he's a guy.

[–]myprimetime 70 points70 points [recovered]

and that's why you don't marry

sooner or later her tingles will disappear....it's inevitable...so don't be the dumbass holding the bag once she swings for a new branch with half your shit

[–]TheButtiestMan 38 points39 points  (0 children)

It used to be disheartening to me that I was realizing this as true. Now it's liberating.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Lol at the people who make fun of me for never wanting to marry. Good luck with your shaming quest fags

[–]Starting_over_IRL 3 points4 points  (12 children)

My question to this. What about kids. We have to keep the human race going. And kids on child support is a fucking nightmare.

[–]thepillwastaken 4 points5 points  (5 children)

There are so many people having kids.

There are very few of us ACTUALLY living TRP lifestyle.

It's not going to make a big difference if we don't have kids.

[–]dumgum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I hope many of do donate our sperm or something. It wouldn't be good for humanity for the genes of those choosing the Red pill lose out to the bluepill-ers.

[–]meekwai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want kids, child support is inevitable if their mother decides to split with you (or you decide to split, but I want to emphasize this is not under your control). You have no choice but to accept that as the cost of doing business.

You don't have to get formally married to raise kids these days. Marriage won't help you keep a woman who intends to leave, but might help her get more of your assets. On the other hand, it still has a few remaining legal perks like tax and immigration.

[–]myprimetime 0 points0 points [recovered]

You can still have kids without being married. And if the two of you have an understanding that you are exclusive without being married....there is no child support either(she'll only file for it when you two go separate ways)

Marriage is just an outdated concept in the age of divorce. If the relationship is not for life...then there is no point in getting exposed to all that risk.

[–]Starting_over_IRL 1 point2 points  (1 child)

ya but thats a shitty way to raise a kid. thats selfish to not let the kid grow up having to visit mom or dad on weekends ect. i would never do that to my kid no matter how "baller" it is to not get married.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

lol at this guy

"Before doing anything else, please ask about bonus and any stock options. Salary is only a part of total compensation, you need to look at larger picture. Ah.. I guess you can't."

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Older discussion on this article: http://redditlog.com/snapshots/1015577

[–]1Zanford 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Interesting reply there:

"If this model guy didn't have a high salary, she would be fucking him already. Instead she's trying to have a LTR with him so that she could also extract resources."

Hmm. I'm still pondering which way to go on this.

[–]colovick 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's simple. If they view you as hot, they'll fuck your brains out in a heartbeat. If you take them to your house and they get a whiff of money, they backpedal and start thinking about moving in instead of doing depraved shit on your cock.

[–]metallica11 45 points46 points  (57 children)

What kind of girl weighs people with a pro's con's list like that and breaks relationships on what seems like a explicit "ranking" system?

Sleeping around, is not so bad, but relationships?

This girl doesn't value men as human beings, but as trophies to be traded. I can only hope that her moral depravity is somehow manifested in her actions and words (It is hard to hide this from intelligent people) and that most men (not her current bf) would see the obvious warning signs and run, or just fuck with her, or fuck her.

I know plenty of cultures around the world outside the US where a women would simply NEVER be raised to have this sort of mindset, EVER.

This post also confirms my contention that the real red pill within the red pill is that looks >>> everything else. Here you have a guy who looks like he is breaking all the attraction rules by repeatedly hitting on girl (a guy that mind you is not so much different than her current bf so we are not talking about some heightened level of charisma or game), keeping asking her out without reciprocation. he is basically chasing her (big NO NO NO!). and yet he still gives her gina tingles. The only difference is that he is "model looking".

Gents, Here is the new formula for picking up women:

Learn "Game", "game" (now in quotes) = learning to talk like a normal human being. just lose the anxiety and talk like a normal, average human being + Do everything in your power to maximize your looks. Lift, get a personal trainer to perfect your golden ratios. Get the perfect haircut. Find clothes that accentuate your looks. Spend money on a "looks" consultant whose role is to maximize your looks (they are everywhere in hollywood). If you are short, entertain the idea of getting height extension surgery. If you are facially ugly, entertain the idea of getting plastic surgery.

It sounds nuts but this is what our society is turning into.

[–]scamper_22 31 points32 points  (1 child)

There's nothing wrong with a pro/con list. We all do it.

I think the PUA hits it on the head. It's that she views the guy as money and a face. Nothing on values, history, personality...

She actual displays a complete lack of values by wanting a guy who keeps hitting on her while she is in a committed relationship with a guy she actually likes.

This is by in large what you are to most women. Or an accessory to her life, like a handbag. Someone to trot around. The equivalent of a 'trophy' wife. I suppose women will say, but this is what 'men' viewed women as before. I suppose that might be true of a rich husband with a trophy wife. But men are not women. We would rather be alone than submit. Well most of us would anyways.

Which is all fine and dandy, but this is not marriage material or even LTR material.

Yes, other cultures a women would not be raised with this mindset, because traditionally, they were raised with family values. They wanted a family. Today, they basically want to be a high class don draper style man. Even kids are just a toy to play with.

Again, fine to date, fine to screw around with, but not LTR or marriage material.

[–]McDoner 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Even kids are just a toy to play with.

Yup. Just one more thing to post on facebook to compare yourself to other women. Fucking unbelievable.

[–]1lucifa 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I'm all for people maximising their aesthetics, but fixating on it is self-defeating. There will always be taller, more muscular, more visually pleasing guys. The key is confidence, assertiveness, and career building.

I always cringe when I see men going for make-overs that just completely feminize them. Shane Warne is a good example, he used to be this relaxed, masculine, beer swilling alpha male. After being engaged to a hollywood actress well out of his league, he transformed into to this plasticine doll following a "make-over" that pushed him into surgery, hair transplants and trendy clothing.

The irony is his former self was the one that attracted this women

[–]djvita 2 points2 points [recovered]

you seen the ceo of abercombie? ridiculous

[–]1lucifa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ceo of abercombie

Tragic Guessing botox. Makes him look like he has acromegaly.

I feel there's a clear distinction between self-improvement (lifting, dressing well) and masking (platforms, hair transplants, surgery).

The former indicates discipline and control, the latter a sign of insecurities. Which is probably the least attractive trait for a male.

[–]teeelo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the fuck happened to him

[–]lookiamapollo 9 points9 points [recovered]

The height surgery will fuck your lifting

[–]ab_roller 9 points10 points  (23 children)

eight extension surgery

No. Have you read about this? Wear shoes that make you appear a little taller, and accept that your pool of women is smaller. All you can do.

[–]1lucifa 8 points9 points  (11 children)

Wear shoes that make you appear a little taller.

Don't do this. Your SMV immediately plummets the second women notices you're insecure about your height. Women love confidence above and beyond anything else.

[–]forgetful_storytellr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They don't have to be stilts.

There are some shoes that just have a thicker cushion/insole than others, not necessarily for the purpose of extra height.

[–]ab_roller 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think you're picturing different shoes than I am.

[–]solariant 1 point2 points  (7 children)

Actually a good sense of humor again and again tops the list of features that women most desire in men. In my opinion that's slightly wrong though - because the definition of "good sense of humor" differs from person to person so in reality, the most attractive thing to a woman is a sense of humor which is similar to their own.

[–]1lucifa 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My interpretation is that it translates to being 'a fun person to be around'. The guy that emanates a good vibe and controls the group atmosphere, someone that everyone is drawn to. You don't need wit to pull this off. I've noticed men in sales are usually like this, it's more about being socially adept then 'funny'. It's about gestures, intonation, openness, body language then the actual words that come out of their mouth. You can achieve this without saying anything of real value or interest.

It makes sense when you think that women essentially latch onto their partners life. So to be with someone who everyone wants at their event is extremely attractive - more so then natural wittiness or dry humour.

[–]solariant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can make a girl laugh, you can get her into bed. Fact. I've proven this to myself time and time again. (Obviously only works with eligible girls vaguely in your league - not saying anyone can fuck Angelina Jolie just because they could get a chuckle out of her).

[–]elduckbell 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You're funny because you're attractive.

Not attractive because you're funny.

[–]solariant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree - I may be a stunner myself but I have seen the same rule hold true for plenty of ugly guys. And if your rule was true - then the majority of professional comedians would be model-like - and that quite evidently isn't the case!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Having a good sense of humor is good. If you're attractive. Otherwise you're 'creepy'

[–]solariant 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Disagree. See my previous point about the majority of professional comedians not exactly being classically good looking.

[–]thepillwastaken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah man - 2 inch lift insoles and buy some shoes a full size larger than your normal size.

Girls don't notice because when their heels come off is usually when your shoes do.

Its a good move if you are borderline height, but to each their own.

[–]Pubesauce 2 points3 points  (7 children)

Gotta agree with this. Height extension may make you 1-2 inches taller, but it comes with an extraordinary amount of pain and a long recovery time. In addition, there is a fairly significant chance of complications.

The bottom line is that if you're short, your SMV will be lower than if you were tall. 99% of women would take a tall man over a short man with the same looks, personality, and income. Nearly all short men are automatically assumed by women to be beta bux status until proven otherwise.

The issue is that many people take this knowledge and interpret it incorrectly. That doesn't mean that a short man can never become desirable at all to any women - it simply means that he will have to put in significantly more effort and resources to match the SMV he would have if he were taller. You do have to accept that there will be certain levels of SMV which are simply unattainable as a short man, but that doesn't mean that you have to accept BB. With a great personality, career, and fashion sense a short guy could probably still work himself up into the 6/10-7/10 range.

As a short man (and I myself am one) it's better to simply accept that you'll never be a 10/10 due to your height and work within the realm of possibility than be delusional about your prospects and end up getting disappointed. I've never had a problem getting a girlfriend at 5'7, but this is due in large part to having realistic standards for myself and the people I date.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

With a great personality, career, and fashion sense a short guy could probably still work himself up into the 6/10-7/10 range.

Such confidence. Every night I go out, I see so called "short" guys killing it. Probably because they don't adhere themselves to a "rating" system.

[–]Pubesauce 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Probably because they don't adhere themselves to a "rating" system.

It's a practical way of placing someone on the scale from "hideously ugly" to "living Adonis". Reddit has this deep seated hatred of the "rating system" for some reason, in a very SJW "don't objectify people" way, when in day to day conversation it's a commonly used tool to convey how attractive someone is/isn't.

And regardless of how many short guys you see "killing it", their SMV will still not match the potential they'd have if they were taller. And like a retard you did the exact thing I was typing about in the comment you replied to - you interpreted short guys having a lower SMV potential as me saying that short guys are inevitably low SMV. You can improve your SMV to a degree, but your genetic background will limit or enhance your potential regardless of your efforts.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

alternativly inject chemicals into your legs so they die and they get amputated leaving you in a wheel chair, however you won't ever have to stand and they will never know how tall you are.

[–]artofwarrior 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In finance we call this a "Sunk Cost". It makes sense if you see from that point of view. If I as an investor can gain say $1000 in about a year by dumping a equity that I'm currently holding which will grow to say $800. Then why wouldn't I?

Just break everything down to economics and you can see how players act and react. And don't be surprised at it. It's just the way the world is.

[–]forgetful_storytellr 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Looks are important but I wouldn't go spending thousands of dollars for surgery. That's pretty insecure.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Being ugly makes you even more insecure.

[–]Gold_Leaf_Initiative 3 points4 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I respectfully disagree to a certain degree.

Do you. Don't do something just because you think it will bring you babes.

Yes, a little workout (for the sake of health and fitness-- no need to be a hypertrophy-muscle-bound meat head), a little style. No need to commit yourself to it hardcore though... No surgery. No consultations-- there is enough online.

also, if you're young enough that you're in your teens (or know a guy who is) start working out religiously from 14-20ish (or later in life-- its just younger is probably optimal-- can still completely ramp up your muscles at ANY point in life and see great benefits). Then you'll be set for life. This is what I did. I rarely work out these days.. yet I retain pecks, six pack, etc. Very little body fat. It's because I built muscle during those testosterone-gushing years of mid-to-late teens/early twenties. I know some chubbier folks... and unfortunately it is because they didn't have the kind of foresight that I did when I was about 13/14 and began to get into working out. I said to myself, "Well... I have a bunch of time, testosterone, and the knowledge is right there waiting for me. Might as well dive in" and started lifting 3 hrs a week, running up to 3 hrs a week. Learned effective routines, resting, eating habits... This is one the best things you can help a male teen understand: take care of his body, and start young-- you'll be set for life..

disclosure: i got into working out at age 14 because I wanted to attract girls. What I found were benefits better than women: improved attitude-- much positivity and happiness ; empowering strength; endurance; the ability to kick anyones ass at any adventure or obstacle course; the feeling of invincibility--if shit hit the fan, or I got into a violent situation (which I have before in a developing country-- a girl got robbed, I chased down thief.. he went to jail. fucker. but only b/c I was faster than him and likely stronger-- luckly didn't have to test that part), I'd have a much better survival probability than a non-fit person. Looking back, I am very glad I got into it... so whatever the impetus: get healthy and fit.

Accept yourself. Do your thing, follow your dream. You'll find women along the way-- they will always be there, always available. But not to a guy who doesn't have his shit together-- just have something going, whether its work, a hobby, a passion project, (including fitness, or being part of a social scene/community, etc... just something unique about you that defines you) (dumb/crazy women excluded)

[–]RedPill115 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The only thing I would add is that if you're lifting in high school, I'd stay a little wary of the big exercises that put a ton of weight on your body - the squat and deadlift. There's no evidence that those make adults shorter, but it may or may not make you a little shorter if you're doing it while still growing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. Don't max. Don't do less than 4 rep sets.

Don't do deadlifts. Don't do heavy squats. its about fitness, not machismo/proving something. heavy exercises can fuck up your back and your joints...

[–]cjroney2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

what the fuck is this post? jesus. Can you please post a picture of yourself so we can see what this looks like?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate hearing looks are everything. It's so true. I just hate hearing it. Even though I get adorable Latinas checking me out/flirting with me all the time, I just hate knowing that my looks are the only thing that matters. What a miserable reality check

[–]choomguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All that for some poon? Jesus man, my dick works for me.

[–]RedPill115 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post also confirms my contention that the real red pill within the red pill is that looks >>> everything else. Here you have a guy who looks like he is breaking all the attraction rules by repeatedly hitting on girl (a guy that mind you is not so much different than her current bf so we are not talking about some heightened level of charisma or game), keeping asking her out without reciprocation. he is basically chasing her (big NO NO NO!). and yet he still gives her gina tingles. The only difference is that he is "model looking".

I think you completely missed the point.

If Elliot Rodgers didn't prove to you people that looks != automatic pussy, I don't know what would.

His ability to break social rules like that - and get away with it, be confident doing it - is a plus in SMV, not a minus. Now this depends on the girl - a girl who you keep asking out who doesn't think you're attractive - this will lower your SMV because you'll look like an idiot.

But a girl who already thinks your hot, who you're asking out in an alpha way "we should go out" and not pandering to, and the girl who is very narcissistic like the one in the letter - this is a plus. The narcissism means she doesn't perceive this as being "threatening" to her relationship. The boldness - and the fact that he breaks social rules and doesn't suffer consequences - make him high value. He sees what he wants, he goes for it.

Your problem is that you're confusing relationship potential with sociopathic sexual potential. His consistent not caring that she's in a relationship probably means he's narcissistic as well, and like the letter writer said, likely to cheat on her and move onto someone else once he gets her. He'll get bored - most likely. Bu that doesn't make him low value for someone who also doesn't value relationships.

[–]PersianDj 8 points9 points  (10 children)

Would you say his persistence paid off?

I never pursue a girl further if I hear a hard hitting 'no' from her.

Guess she liked it.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 10 points11 points  (6 children)

No chick in this world is worth straying around her for a year. None.

[–]McDoner 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I understand what you are saying. However, I don't ever completely cut ties with girls who have said no. Why close the door if you don't have to?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't ever completely cut ties with girls who have said no.

That's a whole different story, than constantly trying to get into a relationship with a (commited) woman for over a year.

I'd still fuck a lot of girl that friendzoned me when I was younger if the opportunity would arise. Why not? Their pussy don't stink because the rejected me, but never ever will I engage in a relationship beyond sex with them.

[–]PenisJoekes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He probably has a side chick during this whole year. I wouldn't be surprised

[–]199639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This guy was probably hooking up with others while continuing to hit on that op. In fact that would make him more appealing to her. A continual parade of social proof while her boyfriend has no new women. Of course he's loyal but that doesn't factor in her analysis.

[–]djvita 1 points1 points [recovered]

tell it to the dude at work who wined and dined an HR chick for so long that she's single now, but won't commit to him now.

[–]Gyissan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More like whined and dined.

[–]C_D_O 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is just branch swinging in action.

Shes probably already slept with the guy. More than once. She just wants some reassurance she can bag the upgrade without loosing her safety net.

[–]1Zanford 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends on how much energy he put into it.

Since she obv thinks he's 'dreamy', when she says 'he's pursued me repeatedly for a year' that could mean 'he sent me about one racy line-one text a month for the past year', a few minutes of effort on his part. It may not mean he's been pining away for her, doing friendzone stuff, etc.

If he put in such minimal energy and he gets the bang, it was worth it. Hope he's smart enough to never LTR her.

[–]RedPill115 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never pursue a girl further if I hear a hard hitting 'no' from her.

I don't think the above story ever says she gave me him hard no. She could have been saying "You're ass is cute, but I have a boyfriend" the entire time and it would have paid off.

Bit of a difference between "pursuing a girl" and "letting girl #5 know you're interested in a clear but low investment comment".

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

It boils down to bad strategy on her part. She is making the assumption that the new guys income would be available to her and the overwhelming prediction is that it will not.

[–]solariant 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not necessarily. She might be a high earner herself. Lots of women are these days. High earners like to date other high earners, even though they have enough money themselves, purely because when a high-earner dates a low earner, the low earner usually starts sponging off them.

[–]Pubesauce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

purely because when a high-earner dates a low earner, the low earner usually starts sponging off them

I think it's more to do with her image than the actual financial situation. A female doctor could earn $120k a year and she'd still rather be with an attorney making $60k a year than a plumber making $90k. Neither of those two men would necessarily be impacting her financial situation negatively, but the attorney is going impress her friends more.

Another situation would be that same doctor dating a man who doesn't make much but manages his money well enough to not impact her. For instance, someone who works a part time job but is frugal with his money. Despite a lack of financial loss for the woman, she still feels like she's having to date below her level because he doesn't match her social status. He's not in a respected, high status profession like she is. She'd likely rather be with a fellow doctor who terribly mismanages his money but is up with her on the social hierarchy.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"I'm going to help you, by telling you how this is going to end.

In less than a year, you're going to end up losing-- (hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones)-- Though I suspect you will probably dislike that answer as much as you dislike this one. Razz"

This is what happens when you try to tell a girl how things are. She just wants to hear "you go girl's" and "mhm girl you deserve better's."

Besides, she's a fucking girl. Who cares. She's gonna do it regardless of what anyone says. She can get fucked in the face for all I care.

I remember when I saw some texts on my ex's phone where she was talking to a friend about seeing this other guy because he had a better looking face. I proceeded to fuck 2 girls who were way hotter than her in one night and send her pictures. This is why relationships are flawed, they don't work because no matter what you have going for you, there is always someone better she'll run into.

Fuck sluts, make money, lift heavy shit.

Oh and what's up with this pirate lingo all over reddit. This shit is annoying I don't know what does what anymore.

[–]1rlh1271 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[–]ziggitypumziggitypim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ouufff. What a burn. Bitch was told where to go!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am subscribed to this sub AND /r/tumblrinaction and to be quite honest, I think tumblrinas and other women find ways to divert attention from their own lack of compassion and sociopathy.

[–]Entrefut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really hope she leaves her bf, he'll be on TRP within a month and reaping the benefits of being single. He'll also realized he dodged a giant bullet.

[–]Concord_Fight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's what doesn't make sense to me, particularly from the perspective of TRP. She wouldn't be able to hang out with a guy for a year that she thinks is better without already having left the first guy for him, or have been fucking guy 2 the entire time. The only other option is that guy 2 isn't interested in her at all, is just part of her friend group, and throws some flirting her way every once in awhile because he's having some fun. Yes, he'd probably fuck her under the right circumstances, but he probably has other options, is well connected socially, and has a bit of a barrier there because she's in a relationship.


  1. She's this guys plate, and won't admit it to herself. She's been fucking him for a year and is telling herself that he'll be with her if she breaks up with her boyfriend.

  2. She's totally delusional thinking this guy wants her at all.

Nothing else makes sense. "we started hanging out as friends." Way to cover your ass, ha ha. Makes me want to throw up.

[–]CanuckMan95 9 points10 points  (18 children)

The fact that everyone is calling the dude a slimy piece of shit is pretty blue pill. I thought one of the main tenants of TRP was that sexual strategy is amoral?

Guess TRP is getting soft.

[–]Gold_Leaf_Initiative 21 points22 points  (8 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]Concord_Fight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And ignoring all that, just because this girl doesn't say she's fucking this guy, doesn't mean she's not fucking this guy. Come on, do women admit to that? NO! She's a sparkly clean pretty sweet innocent princess.

[–]magus678 7 points8 points  (6 children)

I wouldn't say it's people being soft, it's people reacting to the slimy nature of the guy.

One fucking woman, any of them, is not worth a "victory at all costs" mentality.

We give woman a pass on scuzzy shit a lot of the time because we have decided it isn't worth the time to try teaching ethics to women that either won't learn or can't.

Simply ignoring it is a shitty thing to do when you know better makes you a lesser man, not actually knowing any better makes you either a child or a woman

[–]CanuckMan95 4 points5 points  (3 children)

One of the shaming tactics of Feminists is declaring something a guy does makes him "not a man", which is what you are doing right now. How the fuck are you supposed to know if this guy is obsessing over this chick? You don't.

He's not a lesser man for fucking around with this girl and making her want to fuck him, its actually the complete other way around. And she IS down to fuck him.

What you're talking about is blue pill to the max.

[–]magus678 1 point2 points  (2 children)

There would be no problem if there weren't another guy. There is, and going after someone else's girl incessantly is not cool.

Doing something simply because you can is a schoolyard bully mentality.

The silver lining is that that other guys reply to her is exactly right; they are both shitty people and deserve each other

[–]CanuckMan95 -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Here's a news flash for you, "bullying" is just a word pussies use to complain when they get pushed over.

[–]Planner_Hammish 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Half the women I've slept with were already in LT relationships. If she's going to cheat, she might as well cheat with me. I'm not cheating on anyone, and I have no regrets.

[–]Andress1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This.What i hate about PUA is that its still somewhat blue pill mentality.The "leave her better that you found her" is disgusting.Why the fuck is that pickup guy bashing the other guy?In the end he succeds at getting the girl and thats what pua is about(or should be).Maximizing sucess.Life is too short to give a fuck about society's moral code.If i had a LTR i would expect guys to hit on her,its what we men do.Men are not made for long term relationships(google coolidge effect),so why even care for long term relationships ? This is why i really like TRP,because nobody else accepts that sexual strategy is amoral.Its harsh.Life is harsh.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

True. The guys just going for his even if it's in an ineffective method.

[–]Olipyr 2 points3 points  (28 children)

Your dreamy-model-hot "upgrade" is a low-class scumbag willing to creep around another man's back for over a year to seduce a woman who is in an established relationship.

Disagree here. Everything else is pretty spot on.

Nothing wrong with hitting on a girl with no ring on her finger.

EDIT: What the fuck has happened to this sub? The dude isn't a creep and low-class scumbag for it. Yes, he may be wasting his time, but so what?

Chances are high that the dude already hit that.

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 21 points22 points  (1 child)

It's douchey. You can say there's nothing wrong with being douchey, but the point is, she's VALIDATING that doucheyness.

Fuck that skank.

[–]Olipyr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree, fuck that skank.

The dude isn't a creep and low-cass scumbag for it, though. Chances are that he's already hit that and she is monkey-branching.

[–]Casual_Tits 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man. I completely agree with you. Seriously. My comment was in the vain as yours and got down-voted to shit. I'm pretty confused, to be honest. What happened to AWALT and not blaming women for acting on their primitive impulses?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Morals are subjective, and I'd agree with you that there's nothing wrong with hitting on a girl who's taken. But spending a over a year trying to lure a girl out of a monogamous relationship is a different story, and just a shitty thing to do IMHO.

[–]redpillshadow 5 points6 points  (1 child)

That implies there would be something wrong with hitting on a girl with a ring on her finger.

1 year in the friend zone. That relationship is doomed from the get go. There is no narrative anyone can spin how that would work out.

[–]dontlikemyfire 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not so sure this guy was actually solely operating in the friend zone. Like Kai said in his reply on Quora, she has probably banged him, or at least hooked up with him. Tough to tell from Quora-OP's question, but it doesn't seem like exclusively friendzone.

[–]CanuckMan95 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I'm with you buddy, this shit is ridiculous. These kids need to read the damn sidebar and get over their beta shit.

[–]McDoner 0 points1 point  (1 child)

While I'm no TRP master, but the time I've lost a girl to another guy, I never felt like the dude was my problem. This model guy is just doin his thang! Don't hate the player, hate the game. But it does feel better when you go shack up all over the world with the girl who broke his heart and he asked to marry him! Mwhaha!

[–]Gyissan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just remember not to LTR her though, because the exact same thing will happen to you too.

[–]zeny_two 4 points5 points  (0 children)

New members means new wussies whose kneejerk reaction is to downvote things that make them uncomfortable. Dear newbies, check out briffault's law.

She's seeing model dude because she prefers him to her boyfriend. What he wants is insignificant. If he wasn't an upgrade, he'd be invisible and she'd be upgrading to someone else. Make no mistake, she's unhappy with her boyfriend. She wants better. It's her decision. That dude waiting around for pussy isn't changing her mind

[–]Gold_Leaf_Initiative 1 point2 points  (5 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]Olipyr -1 points0 points  (4 children)

No, actually what I'm saying is exactly what I'm saying.

I disagree that the dude hitting on her is a creep and low class scumbag.

[–]Gold_Leaf_Initiative 2 points3 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]Gyissan 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What is your reasoning then?

[–]Olipyr 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Because that's my opinion. A man shouldn't be accused of being creepy and low life for going after a woman.

[–]Haus_of_Klaus -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Hitting on a woman for over a year, without her reciprocating, is not acceptable. He's wasting his time and energy orbiting her, hoping ONE DAY she will choose him. Hoping ONE DAY, he will be her second choice. There is a lot wrong with that situation.

[–]ayvyns 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You're assuming he's only hitting on her. He could be hitting om countless women all the time. So what if she doesn't budge, maybe he thinks it's amusing. There's nothing "unacceptable" about it.

[–]RedPill115 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, the poster is confusing "hitting on" with "orbiting".

Big difference between when she's the relatively exclusive target, vs when she's clearly one of many girls and he's not waiting around at all.

[–]TheSKSpecial 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. At a certain point you next the bitch and move on. Not stick around for a year hoping she says yes eventually. Since when is orbiting acceptable?

Both these guys are beta bitches, one's the orbiter, the other is the unwitting bux.

[–]ven5 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Aside from it being wrong, why would you want a woman who'd ditch just like that to be on your side when there are plenty of better single ones? The guy worked this hard for a year to end a fellow man's 4 year relationship. If we lived in another time, you'd have a reason to shoot him.

[–]Transmigratory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both these guys are beta bitches, one's the orbiter, the other is the unwitting bux.

Or he could just be fucking around and the woman in question is being a girl about the whole situation. By that I mean she's overanalysing it; she's also assuming she's the only girl he's hitting on.

[–]MMMREESESCUPS 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Damn, he got rustled at the words of a worthless wench.

[–]Ulquiorra_Schiffer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sshh...If you listen, you can sense that the jimmies have been rustled.

Hahah. I miss when people said that your Jimmies were rustled or you were butthurt. Now today the in thing is "Salty" and "Thirsty". I hate it like I hate anything new.

[–]Gyissan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy fuck the word salty is dumb as shit.

[–]MakeAChoice9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dayaaaaamn, that coach is a beast. Seriously who is he?

[–]ITHOUGHTYOUMENTWEAST 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is this about guys who go after women in relationships are dicks? Let women do as they damn well please. That's some feminist shit saying they are so stupid and weak-willed that they can't even stay remotely faithful.

[–]let_terror_reign 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His book list seems to contain everything on TRP. Would not be surprised if Kai were one of us.

[–]Casual_Tits -5 points-4 points  (15 children)

I'm actually kind of surprised the dating coach is focusing so much on her 'upgraded model'. The new guy is just doing his own thing - why is he such a scum bag for showing interest in a girl who is clearly showing interest back? If she was really secure in her relationship, she'd put the dude in his place and he'd be able to move on. She's looking to branch swing and who the hell knows what is going to happen with the new dude.

In my opinion, the old boyfriend isn't doing his job. It's his fault his girl is looking to jump ship - because she doesn't trust or believe in her captain. And probably for good reason.

EDIT: So, just to be clear, we're blaming the entire outcome of this scenario on the woman? And we also think the dude is a piece of shit for hitting on her (but probably getting laid in the process)? Interesting, guys. Down vote away.

[–]Olipyr 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Agreed. It's the current boyfriends perogative to keep her "tingles" in check. If not, she will monkey branch to another who gives her the tingles.

AWALT if you don't keep that shit in check.

[–]Iupvoteforknowledge 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I made this point above (a little more detailed) but hypergamy don't give a fuck. You can do everything right and she will still branch swing if something even slightly better comes along.

[–]MyRedAccount -1 points0 points  (2 children)

That's irrelevant though. If you're doing everything right you can branch swing just as easily as she can. So what if you end up with a very slightly less pleasing gf(or very likely as or more pleasing). You're acting like oneitis is something to be pitied instead of a cancer to be cut out.

[–]Iupvoteforknowledge 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No, just no, I don't even know where you got that last bit from. My post didn't even insinuate that. Men do branch swing but a lot of men will stay even if a better option does present itself because we love and we are loyal.

[–]Haus_of_Klaus 8 points9 points  (5 children)

In my opinion, the old boyfriend isn't doing his job.

And you know this how? Do you always the blame the man, by default? Maybe the woman is just an idiot. Maybe it comes down only to attractiveness, is that his fault that someone else looks better than him? Being "alpha" doesn't solve every relationship problem, sorry to break it to you.

[–]2Occams_Shiv 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Being "alpha" doesn't solve every relationship problem, sorry to break it to you.

Yes It Does.

You always blame the man because it is always his fault. He is the parent, and she is the child. When you see an unruly child with shit behavior and poor socialization, you blame the parent. When the ship runs aground you blame the captain.

You can complain about women's behavior till you are bones in the ground, but that behavior was, is, and will be, your fault.

You can accept it now, later, or never. I recommend sooner.

[–]Casual_Tits 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Do you always the blame the man, by default

Actually, yes. Although I do think the onus is on him to keep her interested (because love is conditional), there is still a responsibility on him for what happens, even if she is an idiot. Let me explain. In this scenario has had opportunity to see and talk to this new guy. This change in behavior goes unnoticed? The old boyfriend doing his job isn't necessarily keeping his woman loyal, but it's being able to notice a change in behavior and doing something about it. In this case, she's the one that's going to be leaving him, where it should be the other way around. That's being alpha. And it would solve the problem here.

[–]CornyHoosier 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm willing to accept that it's the mans fault if you're willing to capitulate that women don't have the ability to mentally remain loyal or think beyond their simple emotions.

Otherwise this is just an example of another cheating whore.

[–]1AreYouAware_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no capitulation. TRP has always posited that women aren't able to be loyal, and that they aren't willing or able to love a man as he would have them do.

[–]ayvyns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe she's an idiot, but he chose that idiot.

[–]ab_roller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well we're not exactly sure what the current boyfriend is or isn't doing. He may be pulling out all the redpill stops and being alpha as fuck, but sometimes a whore's gunna whore no matter what.

I see your point but we don't know for sure about the current boyfriend and whether he's beta/bluepill/etc or not. Not sure exactly why you gettin downvotes tho

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

No no no no no no no no. A quote from Scream "No, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos... movies make psychos more creative."

Arguments that blame objects and influence really burn me. A person is responsible for their philosophies and the way they choose to live.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I think are people a psychos, we are just really inhibited.

If you normalise complaining and being a bitch, you will grow up a little bitch.

Why are we talking about objects and how they influence the psychie?

[–]Max_Thunder 0 points1 point  (2 children)

She attaches no value to the 4 years spent together. That's not hypergamy, that's idiocy. Even if guy B was hotter looking (possibly more because of novelty than from an objective point of view), is better looking > 4 years of memories shared, intimacy, fantasies realized, etc. I have to admit that for all we know, this girl may be 16 years old and those 4 years didn't involve much.

I also suspect the girl craves a lot of attention, which is a problem with many girls but not de facto in their genetic make up (they do crave attention, but not to that degree). There will be guy C, guy D, and so on, until she's old and stop getting that attention, at which point she will be depressed.

[–]1AreYouAware_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Past benefit and actions do not guarantee future association from a woman. The phrase is "what have you done for me lately?"

They can and will throw away a relationship of "depth" at the drop of a hat if they think you're falling down on the job in the current moment and someone potentially better comes along.

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