TL;DR A good-looking girl I know from college isn't attracted to me. I graduate and get a well-paying job a NYC bank. She starts paying attention to me, but only wants to marry "when we're 35."
Hello all, first time poster. I have been reading this sub A LOT lately, and I've finally worked up the courage to post this. Everything I've read here these past couple of weeks matches up perfectly with what I've experienced in my own life, it's practically uncanny.
Since I started lurking I've been re-evaluating a lot of the experiences I've had with women in my life, and its given me a completely new perspective on all of it. Some of the reactions women have had towards me have always baffled me, but re-examaining these actions through the lens of TRP has thoroughly and completely explained everything. It's depressing, exciting, and scary all at the same time.
While I have several TRP experiences I could share with you right now, the one I would like to share with you is the one that finally served as my wake up call. I'll save some more of my stories for later.
Back in the midst of college, I had a group of friends I regularly visited at another university (we knew each other from high school and were still close). During my sophomore year, my friends started hanging out with a girl one of my friends was going out with. Let's call her Nancy.
Nancy was a good looking girl. Better looking than all of us were. We were a bunch of high school nerds who just wanted to hang out, drink, and talk about video games, but Nancy knew how to party, and we loved having her around for it. Nancy knew she was pretty good looking. Nancy broke up with our friend, but they stayed on good terms, and we wanted to keep Nancy around because she was fun and hot. Nancy eventually moved into a house with a few of my friends attending the college, and we all became friends.
Nancy acted as you would have expected a single, good-looking girl in college would. She rode the carousel on a weekly basis. Whenever I came over to visit, she would have a new boy to introduce to us. I got used to visiting and looking forward to meeting whatever new guy she was dating, as short-lived as the friendship was. Some of the guys were cool, some of them not. One of her roommates got to calling them her "boys in jars", since she seemed to be able to pull them out of nowhere at a moment's noticed.
Nancy was not a bad girl. She wasn't mean or cruel. In fact, she was fun to be around most of the time and great to party with. But Nancy was irresponsible. She owed all of her roommates rent money, and still does. My one friend still needs $700 from her (remember, this all happened years ago). My other friend loaned her $1000 toward rent. Neither of them are going to see any of that money back. She was taking a Christmas list of medication prescribed by her therpaist and still doing other drugs on the side. She was hopsitalized once for her mental health.
The years went by with all of us getting closer and closer to Nancy until she was simply another one of our friends. Lots of my friends tried to hit on Nancy, but they were all rejected pretty badly. One of my friends living with her for a summer started to really like her, but then she found out and the reaction was pretty cruel. She joked about him behind his back constantly afterward. He became the punching bag for a lot of the girls I know.
Anyways, the upside to being a smart fellow in college is that there was always opportunity to pursue. In the fall of my senior year, I was offered a position at a major international bank (you've heard of it). My friends heard about it soon after.
Now, at my school it was common for the engineers to compare salary offers they had received as a form of friendly competition and as a way of scouting employers. It was a way of watching out for each other and also an accepted form of bragging. I, signing with the bank, had done better than most.
EDIT: Clarification - I am an engineer at the bank. I am not an investment banker of any sorts. I thought people would understand this when I said above that I went to school with a bunch of engineers, but I have been getting messages lately about people asking me advice on the banking industry, and I am not qualified for that. However, if you want to know schools to get a great engineering education and where there is a lot of opportunity, that I can help you with.
I had also made the crucial mistake of assuming that this habit was acceptable everywhere. My female friends asked me how much I made, and I made the dumbest mistake of my life by telling them.
Well, you can imagine their attitudes changed quite a bit after that. Nancy had never been attracted to me the entire time I knew her. It was obvious to me and I accepted it. I had nothing to offer her except my friendship. But now, she's complimenting me, telling me how much I had "come out of my shell" (around this time I also started doing cardio on a regular basis and was losing a lot of weight). She was not the only one either. Suddenly all of the women I knew were paying more attention to me. Another girl called me up extremely drunk one night, and despite being engaged at the time to one of my closest friends, told me how much she hoped I would "be around in her life", whatever in God's name that meant.
Now, at the time I was 23 and quite desperate for female attention, so I took this all as a grand sign that women were finally paying attention to me. It felt good. But then one day Nancy, while drunk, told me this: "We're going to get married when we're 35."
I was pretty proud of this at first, considering it a huge compliment to be husband-worthy of Nancy. I also took it as a joke, knowing 35 was over a decade away in life and that I may not even know Nancy at that age. But then she kept saying it. Over and over. And pretty soon I realized she was serious. She wanted to marry me, but only by the time we were 35.
Over time I started to realize that I really meant nothing to her, that she was going to keep riding the carousel until she was 35, and then expected me to be her safety net. She knew that my 20s would be spent building my career and fortune, and that by 35 I would not only be rich, but primed for marriage and ready to carry her finanically and emotionally.
Well, you can imagine I got pretty bitter at this realization. I carried this anger around for a few months, fuming over the unfairness of it all. In the meantime, Nancy had broken up with her previous boyfriend and proceeded to go out with a different one from OkCupid, a trust fund baby living in Manhattan off of his parents rent. In their third week, they were already visiting Cape Cod in his parent's vacation home.
Now, I had heard of TRP before, and dismissed it as always as another anti-feminist movement. But, a few weeks ago I finally decided to take the plunge and explore TRP. You could have heard my jaw hit the floor. I was reading a subreddit about my own life. All of it so neatly explained, so easily predicted. So many experiences aligning perfectly with what other men had experienced and reported. I finally made the horrifying discovery that I was well on the path of Beta Bux. If I hadn't stopped to think that things were unfair, I would have fallen well into the marriage trap, very likely becoming victim to divorce rape, etc.
Suddenly I've become so accutely aware of everything that's been going on around me - the obvious hints I've missed, ignored, or outright denied. The shit tests I've failed to recognize. The obvious patterns in my own life that only confirmed everything TRP had said would come true.
Frankly, I think I owe you guys a thank you for saving my life. I've been dealing with a lot of anger and depression lately trying to process TRP, but even my worst days now feel better than my best days before TRP. I've started to work harder at being the man girls actually want to be around. I'm trying to put TRP advice to practice, however hard it is after years of Blue Pill indoctrination.
Anyway, sorry for the long post. I think I just wanted to say that what you are doing is saving men's lives from the doom of their own self-delusion. You definitely saved mine. Consider me converted.