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Woman I was introduced to by a mutual friend will not take a hint and repeatedly tries getting attention from me. What should I do? (self.asktrp)

submitted by bf1bro18

This situation is centered at my gym. A guy I sort of knew for a while was talking to me at the gym when this older girl walked past and spoke to him and long story short turns out they worked together and I was briefly introduced which is all dandy but that's where I was fine with leaving it.

She is a 6.5 in my opinion, but my friend told me she has 3 kids and is married which I later confirmed when seeing her as a friend suggestion on FB.

So basically a slightly fuckable 7 on a good day who has kids and is married, yeah nah I'm fine thanks next.

Anyway it has been like 4 months now and I have ran into this girl at my gym like 20 times and every fucking time she just straight up comes over to me and asks me what I am training, if I work that day, what I did on the weekend, If I know exercises to train this part or that part of the body. She also just straight up tells me that her butt is sore because she trained legs recently or that she feels bloated or that she feels tired and fuck me the list goes on.

I am completely withdrawn, like cold and reserved and give her nothing but scraps of basic manners. She won't fucking stop and I can't help but think like Jesus Christ you fucking thot, go to your husband for this shit not me, you're not draining my balls so I ain't giving you shit.

I wear headphones, I avoid eye contact, I am neutral in my voice. Nothing is working. She wears very tight clothing and basically does the "rounds" and talks to heaps of guys and they all lap it up and drool over her but TRP has taught me better.

What are some ways I can fuck with her / resolve this problem..


[–]throwawayycheyeah131 points132 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

Shes probably so interested in you because you are the only one who doesnt chase her.

Pretty much fucked.

[–]thrwy7547934 points35 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

I don't think she's interested. It seems like she's just being friendly, and OP's friend list is full.

The other possibility is that she just wants some attention. I've seen this with older women who are mothers. They know their looks have faded, their vaginas torn open due to multiple childbirths, and they just want to be flirted with, that's all. It's not like she's ready to jump on his dick.

There's nothing wrong with being friendly with her, unless of course you're on a really tight schedule, and in that case you should assert yourself OP. Tell her directly and firmly that you're just there to workout.

I have to say though, it seems like there's something underneath here. It seems like you're trying really hard not to like her, almost as if you're trying to hide—from us, but more importantly from yourself—that you do like her. I mean, if you didn't like her, then it should've been easy for you to tell her to get lost, and you wouldn't need a post here asking how to get a woman to leave you alone.

[–]theherosmyth4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you’re reading into it too much. I think he just doesn’t want to be rude.

[–]thrwy754792 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

What are some ways I can fuck with her / resolve this problem..

Yea, he totally doesn't want to be rude. And, that's totally why he's leveraged the full force of the TRP community simply to ask how to tell a person to go away.

[–]theherosmyth2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Fuck with her could mean pull something that makes her leave him alone, which doesn’t have to come off as rude. And it still doesn’t prove your ass backwards mindreader nonsense. “You’re asking us how to break contact with her, but I think you’re just trying not to like her, and in fact like her.”

This isn’t the girl gossip reddit. And people ask all sorts of stupid questions here. Doesn’t prove anything.

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

If he doesn't like her, and he doesn't want to talk to her, then why does he care about coming off as rude or not rude?

Why would he be nice if he doesn't give a shit? So that other people don't think he's rude? So now he's seeking the approval of those around him? So he can pretend to be one type of person to some people and another type of person to others?

The only way it would work is if he was time constrained, and didn't want to chat. It's fine to have boundaries and that would make sense. Perhaps he can set aside time after his workout to talk to people, but then he would be excluding her.

It would be different if he was a celebrity and this was a crazy fan but he's apparently not, so it's just arrogance.

I mean, do whatever you like OP, but good luck finding girls to bang, or just finding any success in life by cutting people out for no reason. The most successful people I know, know how to relate and talk to people of all walks of life.

[–]theherosmyth0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Cause some people just don’t want to come across as dickheads for such trivial things. Who knows she’ll spread word of how rude he was telling her to “beat it” (given how girls can take things) which affects others’ opinion of him?

Also what a bizarre diagnosis at the end. What if he just rather not interact with her because he sees no point to it at all? Not wanting to have conversations to nowhere with everyone on the planet means you’ll never get laid or any success? You engage in some serious black and white thinking there bud.

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I see your point, and perhaps I did extrapolate too far at the end. Behaviours like this can snowball though, which can lead to negative results down the road.

At the same time, OP is in a space with other people, and doesn't want interactions. I still think there's an issue there, and something that can be improved upon by being more open to socializing, while maintaining his boundaries.

[–]theherosmyth0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That can happen, certainly. I think it depends on the thought behind not wanting to talk to certain people. If OP wants nothing to do with anybody, “just cause”, yeah at that point you’re just isolating yourself, and potentially missing out on great people and what they have to offer.

I do think that in order for someone to want to keep interacting with someone over the long term, there has to be an exchange of value though, and I took it that OP just saw no point interacting with her. And by value I mean something as simple as a person being funny or knowledgeable about something interesting. If a girl comes up to you every time you see her during training though, she just asks pointless interview questions like “what are you training”, “when are you working”, “when did you work last”, etc etc. And you don’t really care about her answers, and on top of that she isn’t even attractive, I can see why he doesn’t want to keep talking to her.

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. Isolation is what I was hoping to prevent, and yes, if there's no value at all then it's understandable to not want to engage.

It's okay to be in a position to add value once in a while, but you can't be that person all the time with everyone.

[–]RedHoodhandles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds alpha as fuck to me. Not.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Reading too much into it? I think assuming attraction because she talks to him is "reading too much into it".

[–]theherosmyth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s all we get to hear. He actually gets to see her, her body language, hear her tone, the eagerness to talk to him (in contrast with others) etc. I read these and give OP the benefit of the doubt. If he’s right, he’ll get advice fitting to his situation. If he’s not right, he’s got bigger issues to sort out.

[–]RexOverAll1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No bro it ain't easy to just tell someone off when he/she just wanna be friends with you.

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's the point though. If it's someone obnoxious, then it's easy to tell them to go away.

In this case though, it seems like she's just a friendly person, so the question becomes, why doesn't OP want to be friends with her? There should be some reason here, right? Maybe he finds her voice annoying, maybe there's a risk of injury to OP if she interrupts his workout, something.

These would be understandable, and then OP should be direct and simply tell her he's busy. A normal person would understand and leave him alone. It's a different issue if she keeps bothering him after that.

But if it's nothing like that, then there has to be an issue with OP, right?

[–]Jay_x_Playboy-5 points-4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, either tell her you’re not interested and to fuck off, or switch gyms.

[–]inittowinit77757 points58 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

lol “switch gyms”, are you even serious dude

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

ikr. do you really think switching gyms is enough to solve this problem? OP should move to africa.

[–]inittowinit7773 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lmao

[–]Imtoosexyformypants40 points41 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Or he can learn to deal with woman liking him and use it to his advantage. It’s seriously not that big of an inconvenience, out of all the stressful shit and decisions I have to make that might cause me grief, this is a drop in the bucket and seriously a laughable problem

Unless she’s getting handsy, who the fuck cares

[–]Jay_x_Playboy4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s a problem for OP clearly

[–]send_it_for_the_boys-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Use her to practice talking to and maintain abundance mentality

[–]Chad173864 points65 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Be like every guy and give her attention/validation lol see how she reacts. Or stop wasting your time and tell her to fuck off. Personally I would do the second one.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas35 points36 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

That'll signal he's interested, which could just make it worse.

[–]bf1bro18 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

From my current perspective even if I straight up told her to fuck off she'd probably giggle and go on to ask me what I got up to on the weekend and then give me some straight leg deadlifts in my face as I am trying to watch my deadlift form. Some people can blow this out of proportion and attempt to make me look like I have the issues or that I am thinking too much into things or that I can manipulate her to increase my SMV or something but truth is I just want to fucking switch off and lift not entertain some rude cunt thot who clearly doesn't understand social cues to leave someone alone probably due to being raised by people / around people who let her do whatever she wants all the time. Just venting you know, I don't know really I don't see her 24/7 but it seems that on those specific days where I genuinely want to just get in and get out she's there and I think fuck me boy here we go. And honestly telling her to fuck off would be socially raping myself and changing gyms is the biggest beta move I can imagine in this situation. I know my post reeks of dear diary type shit but sometimes it is better out than in, and what better place than the internet. Like I honestly don't even know what to do.

[–]egoissuffering7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I am not interested in talking to you. This isn't a joke, leave me alone."

[–]Chad173813 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You sound like a beta bitch if you can’t get rid of this cunt. It’s not that hard. Ignore the cunt if you can’t tell her off. You do what you want with your life and time. Stop giving her even a second of your time. Don’t want to talk, don’t take your music off, don’t want to be rude, tell her you aren’t interested in talking because you are busy and continue with your lifts. If she doesn’t respect what you say you clearly lack any sort of presence or authority. Especially is she blows you off so easily, i would start by actually developing some if that’s the case. I could literally go into the gym where everyone knows me and have a peaceful workout, if I want, by zoning out and ignoring everyone. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out, grow a pair and get rid of this parasite of a woman.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What do you have against just fucking her?

[–]aDrunkenWhaler25 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

When she comes next to you and says 'Hi', don't say anything, simply wave, point to your headphones and make a sign that you are in a phone call. If she comes by half an hour later, do the exact same thing.

[–]austinshepard131 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Had the same issue and I do this essentially, works like a charm. I acknowledge her with a wave, leave my headphones in, and go about my business. It'll take her .4 seconds to go looking for attention somewhere else.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmfao! Yes lawd

[–]GrinninGremlin45 points46 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What are some ways I can fuck with her / resolve this problem..

Ask her to borrow money....

Mission accomplished.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

haha this is a good one, at the very least he ends up a pro.

[–]redpill-student16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just use her for what you should already be using other unfuckable girls for. Connections. Every girl has at least 5+ close friends and usually 2 are decent. Ask her if she knows a girl on the other side of the gym who might be worth fucking. She gets the idea that you’re interested in other women and then if she wants to become an orbiter, she might set you up with some new plates.

Seems effective if all she’s doin is annoying you. Sure you might come off as a dbag, but it’s much more subtle than a fuck you.

[–]Mad-Skillz-Yo20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Um... Just be straight. She might think you dont know about her husband, etc.

On your next conversation ask her something like: "What does your partner think about your working out / XYZ? - Oh, my husband is not interested in this!"

Then you can be blunt and tell something: well, maybe you should spend some time WITH HIM and do things together / XYZ.

You know, something like this.

[–]Lyxeka7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell her you love her. That atta do the trick

[–]Rotten_Red12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Purposely keep getting her name a little wrong. Call her something close but not exactly right every time like she’s not important enough for you to actually remember it.

[–]thrwy7547910 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This will just make her chase his validation even more.

[–]goathunter0512 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ask her if you can make her butt even sorer see what happens

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LMFAO

[–]The_Slackermann5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is not so complex, it just requires a little of courage (the first time). Don't lie, don't bring up anything about her LTR, or yours, or anything in that subject (since this will be used against you right away).

Next time she approaches you just say "I'm busy". She will likely make a whatever face and leave. Problem solved. Don't say "sorry", don't apologise preemptively just to be polite, you have nothing to apologise for. If she insists after the "I'm busy", just state that you prefer to do your workout in silence. After this you require no more words. If she keeps insisting (unlikely) know that now she is been actively rude, you do not need to be polite anymore.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The only real answer here, if, you want her to go away.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Casually drop your "gf" into the conversation and see if she gets the hint. If not then the next time, just don't take off your headphones, smile and nod instead.

[–]ShotgunTRP7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

UNGGGGGGGGG

wrong!

There’s this thing called preselection that arouses women

Dropping he has a girlfriend will only make his thot more curious.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

there's also this thing called being socially aware

[–]entrep42 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So many awful responses here. Does nobody know how to be direct in a polite way anymore?

"Hey I'm sorry insert female name here, I really prefer to focus on my workouts rather than chatting when I come to the gym."

[–]ainihon5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Pretend to be a beta man, maybe that would dry her pussy hahaha

[–]lookoutitscaleb10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Weird thing.

I've tried this.

Doesn't work.

[–]ZeppKfw1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Betas get girls but they leave them after 2 weeks into the relationship. Tried that?

[–]ainihon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have you tried being a “friend who listens and cares as well?” How beta are we talking about Hahahha

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pound the fuck out of her...with extreme prejudice.

[–]shubhidoobi1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't feed her more attention. Next time she asks something, just give one word answer and continue your workout. If she promts again just 'hmm' her and continue your workout.

[–]DadOnDabs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Show her lots of attention, tell her about your life, and if you really want to go nuclear....tell her how you feel...

[–]Jesus-slaves1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She wants you to be her gym husband.

[–]SexualPigeon191 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep, ask her if she has any hot single friends. That'll let her take the hint.

[–]AshyBoneVR41 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's attention starved.

  1. She's married, where's her husband? Does he go to the same gym? Is he there when she's there?
  2. She talks to a bunch of guys and they all drool over her.
  3. She has three kids.
  4. You don't give her the attention she wants.

If you treated her like everyone else does you'd just be another face in the crowd. BUT YOU DON'T. This is painting a target on your back. So you have her attention. Since this is at your gym AND she has a bunch of dudes nuts in her purse your only real option (if you don't want to find another gym, which I don't blame you) is to continue doing exactly what you're doing. If anything, give her even less than what you are already giving her. Just nod, or just excuse yourself because of who fuckin cares what reason. Just get away from her. She'll get it eventually, or you'll get used to it.

[–]Casanova-Quinn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you just want her gone, say something like "Hey I can't talk right now, I'm trying to focus on my workout". It's not that complicated.

[–]Nergaal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell her you only do anal. And if she agrees tell her you only do anal with guys.

[–]thesnowman170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When she comes up to you literally point at your headphones. If that doesn’t work just flat out completely ignore her as if she’s not there.

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Would it hurt you REALLY to fuck her at least once.

Edit I re read the post. You've got to tell her you're not interested in her then she'll make up some crap. Then really you've spoken to her for this long it's kinda rude now.

She's probably just thinking you're good at gym and she's buddying up to you lame as it is.

The world can be about more than sex. You've just got to put boundaries in place to her interrupting you. You get to the gym and just want to focus I know how it is.

I'd like to counter your edit because lol you're talking to us about it on the internet and it's only ever general. As I said you think she's bad? You need to own this too. It's simple. We all give you permission to increase your boundaries. Say you like talking and all but you just want to focus on the gym, hint at a personal trainer.

Come the hell on man, she's getting rude but some people are thick too. That's all there is to it. She probably is a narky fat rude person encroaching on your time. Cut her off already but I just read another reply to make sure I'm not a massive prick.

Yes see if she has hot friends who will talk to you. Silver linings..... Maybe your ego is in the way because secretly you like the attention. Or maybe she's gotten worse. I have a few older uglier girls who talk to me in my life. Doesn't mean I get weird. Pear this crap back already.

You just also need a new story. You have all these chicks on the weekend chasing you but none of them do it for you maybe she has cute friends. If she doesn't then you're a major asshole in a bad way to your imaginary girls on the weekend, undatable and hardly worth knowing even at the gym. If she's still talking to you tell her she's going ok but needs a personal trainer to shake her off you as a topic/tips source.

Girls can take hints too. You said don't talk to me I want your cute friends or we don't keep talking, don't talk to me I'm a wanker, don't talk to me you're fat and need help. All while her personal even if non sexual interest in you slowly dies even as her credit for doing things for you slowly whittles away as necessary. Take charge bro

[–]modern-day-hemingway0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Next time she asks how your weekend was just mention you went out with your boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend. Let her take the hint

[–]desistrategist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

play the plain jane card and then pops out into a Bonnie Elizabeth Parker piecing you to death

[–]ChiefFuckingBull0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL smile allot and talk fast

[–]SexualPigeon190 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do what all the betas here do. Ask her to marry you and say you just wanna share your deepest feelings with her every day for the rest of your life. That should dry her up quickly!

[–]nidham210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just talk to her nicely

[–]TheRedPillRipper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Put your penis in her. Record. Send to husband. Done.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmfao. I’m dead after reading the rounds comment. I was thinking she seems fuckable until you said that. That’s a deal breaker for me son.

[–]wiffofass0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had this happen but the woman was a 3. She did not take a fucking hint so I blatantly told her I'd rather talk to the cleaning lady than her. Just leave me alone. She proceeded by telling everyone what I told her and trying to fuck my reputation up.

[–]xNinja360 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just fuck her bro

[–]AwakenedSovereign0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is called harassment.

Quietly inform the gym staff, have them witness it, and if it proceeds, ask for her to be banned fromnthe facility.

You can do all of this anonymously.

[–]randomTATRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Easy. Befriend her.

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she’s got three kids, you flat out tell her you will not waste your precious time and hard earned money on another man’s orgasm. She will get the hint.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So you have an orbiter.

What's to resolve exactly? You don't want to fuck her. Ok. Use her for doing errands for you or whatever.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know how else to help you, as this sums up most of my situations with women that I don't want.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Enjoy the attention. This is not a problem.

[–]scumbagjames15-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just fuck

[–]bf1bro18 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

You probably would you scumbag. I don't want to fuck a married woman ffs. I mean not the one going to the same gym. You know.

[–]Cazken9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go balls deep in her and send him a picture

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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