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I 24F am currently seeing a man and I don’t know how to approach the relationship.

He is a business man, and is very busy. I’ve always liked the idea of a successful business man because that way I could be a SAHM. He is open to that idea but after getting to know him, I don’t know if I can settle down with a man who is as busy as he is. On our first evening out, he wanted to be intimate, I resisted because I was not ready. I still resist intimacy because I am unsure. He feels like it is a barrier as he promises that he is invested and I am safe with him.

I don’t know how to approach this relationship, I feel like I am one foot in and one foot out. I do not want to lose him yet I also am uncertain if he truly is the man for me. Assist


[–]icatchbigcats15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude huge red flag. Promises of commitment after sex? No freaking way.

If he truly is committed he’ll wait. He knows his worth so he’s trying to draw u in

[–]ZegiknieEndorsed Contributor14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you need help choosing, next.

[–]ShootingDanks1 Star19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He promised that he's "invested" after one evening out, to get sex?

Nah. Keep looking.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you're not excitedly all feet in, then find someone else.

[–]Amanda-Black[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is certainly how I felt, but it’s almost like I do not trust my own feelings. It felt like I was convincing myself out of the love I say I want.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is a good learning point opportunity for you. It says that you weren't exactly looking at the person, but the idea of being married to a businessman. There's plenty of successful businessmen who have money, less time, and are jerks. A high quality man who happens to be the type of person you want a relationship with will not always be a successful business man. Would you rather be with a jerk of a rich man or a high quality man who happens to be a business man? When you put it that way it kind of becomes a cart before the horse to look at career first right?

I made this mistake and wrote off anyone in my SO's profession as the type of person I couldn't be interested in. What a mistake that was, because I never would have dated him if I didn't open myself up to looking at a potential partner for who they are instead of what they do.

Widen your scope and look for qualitative and broader things. Although having the goal of marriage in mind and having an idea of your desired quality of life isn't ridiculous, you set yourself up for failure when you start developing a relationship with an idea of the future with a busy rich person instead of what future with him would be like.

Sounds like your intuition was right and you were trying to betray it. Hopefully thinking of it this way will never lead you astray again.

[–]Amanda-Black[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow this response is definitely what I needed. It will help yo change my approach so as to not set myself up. I love it, thank you very much.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sis run men will say wild shit to get you in the sheets.

There’s a business man out their that will respect you!

[–]jasminebobatea2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He would wait if he cared. Trust your intuition and your feelings. The right man will make you feel safe.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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