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Plate left me for her ex I feel weirdly sad (self.asktrp)

submitted by Mallym17

I met this one hot plate 8/10 hot body good relationship f closed on the second meet. She wanted commitment and following my personal rules I used sarcasm and never committed told her let's see what happens.

2 days later her ex comes out of nowhere and offers commitment now I've lost this solid plate.

We spoke on the phone she confirmed that my game confused her and she wanted commitment I told her I was planning it in the long run and I am attracted to her. We agreed that I should contact her in a few weeks / months.

What's the best plan ? Soft next and check in with her every few months ? - I refuse to be a orbiter texting every week!

TLDR: hot plate left for her ex who provided the commitment I refused to provide up front


[–]Xerexes3869125 points126 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

To be honest , Ex's don't spring up. He was always there. She just hid it from you. She most definitely used you to make him jealous because he was the one she always wanted to be with and he wasnt offering commitment. You were a rebound. It wouldn't have mattered if you gave her commitment. She still would have left you for him. He probably has history with her. So it's better you didn't give her commitment. At least your ego isn't bruised and you heart isn't attached.

[–]pridebrah35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This x1000. Dead on.

[–]Ill_mumble_that27 points28 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Lol she wanted commitment after 2 dates and 1 bang.

She's either nuts, pregnant, or what you said.

Either way bullet dodged.

A hot piece of ass hb8+ can mess with your head if you're not used to that level of beauty. I used to be all about how hot they are but I'm getting older (late 20s) I care less about looks nowadays, just want her to be skinny and do anything I want in bed (I'm pretty reciprocal there), and no dead fish.

[–]Imtoosexyformypants2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Personality is a huge deal if you really need an ltr

[–]Mallym171 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

That's the thing about this one she was hot and her personality is what made me think she was ltr potential

[–]markinsinz78 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Personality is just an indicator of compatibility with you. That girl could have gotten gangbanged over the weekend and she would still chase after her ex.

[–]Mallym17-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If I committed which I never the ex would never of got a fair chance. I point blank told her no commitment anytime soon from me and the ex offered it in boatloads

[–]Imtoosexyformypants1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you were pretending to be an alpha and it back fired on you cause you got the ooonnnneeeeinutussss

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Probably true, not oneitis because regardless I wanted other girls on the side, just liked to have her alongside them

[–]Imtoosexyformypants0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m sure you will eventually keep them around longer dude, good stuff

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good stuff bro thanks

[–]Mallym171 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It was more like 5-7 meets tbh and the game I used on her confused the shit outta her she even told me this & wanted me to be upfront about my feelings

[–]markinsinz76 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This has to do with incongruence. It's a common phenomenon in early stages of game - it can last a long time especially if you don't achieve abundance

Basically you were talking alpha but some words sentences behaviours etc betrayed your true colors and her subconscious senses this but can't quite put a finger on it. Thats why she asked for your true intentions that early. And of course the ex still clearly in the picture.

It's hard man. If it was easy every guy would be slaying

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s exactly it, I was using 70% alpha and sometimes would use some beta sentences just to balance things out

[–]Ill_mumble_that1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

she even told me this & wanted me to be upfront about my feelings

Huge shit test there. Hopefully you didn't.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn’t at all, told her I’ll contact her regarding them feelings in 3-5 working days ahaha and left

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ll add on to this that you take it slow. So you don’t try and replace her, as a rebound.

But I’m not talking months or years. Just a couple weeks to go do some guy stuff.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sensible for me to take a few weeks out lifting getting my mind right

[–]FalconWrite239 points240 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

It's the nature of the beast Don Juan! You followed your male sexual imperative like a perfectly honest red-blooded shitlord, and she followed hers. Neither of you owes or ever did owe the other a damn thing. The difference is she's the one getting what she wants plus sex right now while you hang out here talking about her to a bunch of internet monks

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Is this a pook quote? If not you deserve a small reward.

[–]dtyler86-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dafuk is a pook quote

[–]Alkenko 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pook is a writer

[–]Yashugan002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

a Legend that dissapeared. No-one knows who Pook was.

[–]Toxik63 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pook quote?

[–]Yashugan002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pook wrote an introductionary red-pill course designed to to de-program nice-guys.

It explains to novices why blue pill behaviour doesn't get you results, and introduces red pill behaviour in a very Zen like way.

​

I think of Pook's work like this: "Zen and the art of Plate Maintenance"

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

really good comment.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

You had the opportunity to LTR her and you said no, so she found someone who would. You should have accepted that.

Calling her in the phone and telling her you’d call her in weeks/months makes you look like a little bitch. Should have accepted it and moved on.

[–]Mallym1721 points22 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

When you put it like that it was some real bitch like behaviour and I accept that. I was playing her like a game untill this point it really confused me got me out of my zone. I won't contact untill she's single and ready for dick

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don’t feel bad bro, you didn’t know how happy you were with her until she left and you thought you could keep her around. That part is fine, but by going back and agreeing to be her plan B you kind of shot yourself in the foot. Either way sounds like you learned and your head is in the right place now.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for that! I didn't agree to be plan B I just told her ill contact in a few months as I have a few long term holidays I'll be enjoying in the due time

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, just don't even wait to contact her. Forget about her, period. Abundance mentality, brother. Don't make her think that she's the prize, make her think that you are by just not caring whether she's there or not. Make her feel like she's an extra to what's an already happy life.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm with ya man. When they flip the switch or do something like that, it can be hard to maintain frame.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

This is exactly the issue shit got switched on me suddenly and I lost frame,

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

My post from early January was super cringe, mainly cuz my frame was obliterated. However, 3 months later, while she's still on my mind, I'm back in the right frame. Hanging around TRP again helped.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’ll have a read, even if she’s on ur mind aslong as u don’t act on it and orbit her you need to move on

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've definitely moved on as far as some aspects. I have a few plates again, but yeah, at the back of my mind, homegirl is still there.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Damn bro, feel for you! It’s day 1 for me and she’s constantly posting quotes on insta about consistently etc. Regardless I just liked having her around even if I was still dealing with other girls

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Trust, same boat. After me and the ex fwb broke up, she cut everything off, but I was still cool being friends. She didn't want that. Just get off her insta; you've already shown you're looking at her quotes and shit. I'm glad mine wasn't into SNS, but that's the first step.

[–]RedSkeller47 points48 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Your turn is over. Best idea is that next time they're on a break/break up she remembers that good dick and pings you to hang out. Probably sooner than later if you go full radio silence. Commitment is boring.

[–]Mallym177 points8 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I really shouldn't of blown her phone up earlier it was the other way untill she switched things up on me.

I've got silent I won't contact her untill she's single

[–]boredathome192 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Forget her and keep going. Maybe she'll come back for more cock, but don't wait for it.

[–]Moldy_Gecko2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Just don't contact her. She'll choose to contact you when she wants that, hopefully, good dicking down again... single or not.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Hopefully! But she told me to contact her if she ever posts those generic heart break posts on Instagram lol. And also she's shy and doesn't initiate unless ur banging her

[–]drakehfh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

she's shy and doesn't initiate unless ur banging her

Yeah, right. Every girl initiates if you are hot enough.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

She told you that to make sure You're addicted to her. She wants you orbiting her insta.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well I’m not watching any of her stories and paying her no mind she unblocked my WhatsApp suddenly thinking I will contact her again

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How do you know she unblocked it?

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Her display picture suddenly appeared 2 hours after we spoke on the phone when I said I won’t message her anymore

[–]KGBBobbyAxelrod2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Her turn with him is over*

[–]roughback22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Plot twist they were together the whole time and you were her side piece with the option to be a branch swing.

[–]Mallym171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds good ? But I really wasn't no one else was in the picture & even if I was the side piece fuck it

[–]WiredT26 points27 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

She never actually ceased contact with that ex bro. Dont feel bad, she was doing her own game as well. DO NOT put yourself on hold for her man. SERIOUSLY, your ego is just a littler bruised. Oxytocin forces our brain to grieve over any lose or bond broken. Dont fall for the trap by her or your brain.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I needed to hear this myself bro. Thanks

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah for me it's defo a ego thing I wasn't that much invested as she was. I don't think she was playing game tbh when she was begging for commitment

[–]WiredT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Trust me man, please do. Dont try and make logic of a fickle selfish creature

[–]xesup27 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

1-She actually needs to be a plate. If you have other girls, you will not need her. Do your work, and get a lot of replacements.

2-If the other dude offered commitment, he is probably being needy, and she is going back to you after she realizes that commitment doesn't fulfill her sexual needs.

3-She left you. Downgrade her permanently. Don't even dream to give her the same status back. Any woman has to gain her place in your life gradually, and you should give her only one chance. There will always be another younger and hotter girl.

[–]drakehfh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perfectly said.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She was in a 5 year and 2 year relationship im the only one that got in and banged her with no commitment I’m certain commitments enough for this girl because she’s insecure

[–]1walawalawa5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

TLDR: hot plate left for her ex who provided the commitment I refused to provide up front

We are all ego-invested in these relationships and it can be hard to understand "How could she leave???"

The more you understand the Red Pill and hypergamy the more these situations become clearer and the less they tend to affect you.

​

Plates come and go. Enjoy them. Learn what women want from them. But don't get too invested or you'll find yourself in your current situation.

​

A few recent examples of my own: I banged a hot plate 3 times, most recently in December when she came to my city for an interview and called me to bang ahead of some job interview.

​

I ping texted her in February. Suddenly without any notice she showed up at a club I was at mid-March. She didn't really pay much attention to me beyond the pleasantries. I was also a bit pissed off--more about the ego than anything else. But I shrugged it off. You should too. I have 2 others so when one drops off it's no big deal.

​

Stop taking these situations so personally. By caring less you'll make yourself more attractive to the next one.

​

​

​

[–]bruiser1819 points20 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Hahahahaha

Yeah you already fucked up. Told her you were planning to get with her, and then promising to be her plan B for when her ex dumps her again further down the line. That’s fucking gold.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I told her she had potential to get with her I never once categorically told her she would be my girl. And by plan B the only thing that will be is me giving her dick when she's single

[–]bruiser189 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

She now knows that you are a thirsty faggot. Should’ve just told her ‘hmu when you want that good shit’ and left it at that.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Sounds good doesn't it ?

[–]WiredT4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah girls can sense or even assume out of their own ego that your sprung if you show youll be there knowing she has another guy. If you contact her and she thinks your single, its OVER.

[–]Mallym172 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I 100% won't contact her unless she messages me and if she's still with him I won't tell her I'm single

[–]SeasonedRP1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why would you be single? You should be meeting other women now, not waiting around for her. Chances are she isn't going to contact you. Under no circumstances should you contact her.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Summer seasons when all dudes slay chicks that’s why I’ll be single I’m planning to have 3-5 plates on the roll

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It just hurt your ego.

[–]Yashugan002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

" We spoke on the phone she confirmed that my game confused her and she wanted commitment "

​

As a reminder:

never listen to what a woman says about what she wants ... they don' t know and they don't act accordingly anyway.

​

It's was just your turn. Today she wants warm cuddly feeling, and tomorrow she might want a hard dicking down. And then it's your turn again.

[–]HurricaneHugues6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do you not understand what the word plate means?

[–]iwviw2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He banged her once then lost her.

[–]Mallym171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Banged her 6 out of 7 meets

[–]Ryabemo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you got played lol

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s why they’re fucking called plates. If one breaks, you still got a whole china set to spin.

[–]MisterRoid1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you fucked up by acting desperate. It can happen to the best, so don't be too hard on yourself. Forget about her, move on and don't make the same mistake with the next girl.

[–]whiffofass 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

She never wanted commitment and used you to make her ex jealous/commit who was always around. She just gave you a reason so you would feel guilty. It's not your fault.

We agreed that I should contact her in a few weeks / months.

Are you a cuck/second choice? You will wait around for your turn while she is getting her boyfriends jizz in every hole possible? Keep the prize mentality and ghost her for good. You are already an orbiter by the sound of it.

​

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

WOW! you’ve really put what I said into context about contact in a few months while the boyfriend is jizzing in her holes!!!

I’m going pure ghost on this bitch and if she ever contacts I’m filling her holes and spinning till destruction

[–]asktrp44331 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's not LTR material if she comes crawling back to ex boyfriends brah. Move on and don't contact her.

She'll probably hit you up after she fucks her ex a few times.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Didn't you already post this earlier?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

>ex came out of nowhere

lol no he didn't. he was always there. she probably used you to illicit jealousy in him and then manipulate him into pursuing commitment. just keep it moving.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She never ever mentioned him he bumped into her the other day, regardless I’ll keep it moving

[–]Scanline60 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nothing lost bro. Plate is plate. Get to bang, you win. If it were me, I throw the plate immediately the moment I hear ex, not in anything other than a long past one in some deep conversation with ltr, let alone one hovering in such close proximity. That’s disaster waiting to happen. The dread is key. Agree with sentiment she’s spinning plate for leverage on ex. And man never chase. If any girl doesn’t want to commit that’s her problem. Commitment from a man needs to be earned by a woman, not the other way around, not in this day and age. You are the prize and King, my friend!

The Return of the King.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s exactly what I needed ! She only ever mentioned her ex when we spoke on the phone as to why were no longer banging

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

You sound like asking to be beta to her. Why offering commitment and why so easily?

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I never offered commitment I told her on the phone she had the potential ! And we would see how it plays out... regardless it was beta how would u reply when they ask u point blank what do u want

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

I see. Still you sound like trying to negotiate and desire is non-negotiable. I suggest you to keep moving in doing interesting things, using instagram and whatsapp stories to display yourself to the world being careful of not trying hard, just being interesting (for that you need to design an interesting lifestyle). Keep moving bro, you’ll do great whatever the outcome with this one.

When they are too much in your head, you need to have several good experiences with other plates to convince your subconscious mind that you don’t needed that one. Actually, a girl told me this. After we had an incredible 4 days sex marathon where we blown each other’s mind, 48h later she went to fuck a dude to take me out of her head and she told me that it didn’t worked for her. I never asked for that info. They move fast, don’t they?

I was lucky to have another amazing plate to do the same myself the next weekends otherwise I would hurt a bit (but that’s because it was slightly more than regular plate sex, connection with this one was too good).

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Damn bro 4 days of sex and she dropped that on you! I just need to focus on myself I got too reliant on this plate due to her distance from me and I saw her most out of all of them

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

She dropped that and MANY other too much information bombs (all of them tested me HARD, even on performance anxiety). I've reduced drastically my non-sexual attention to her (basically not initiating communication) because she was compulsorily trying to get my non-sexual attention trying to push me to be her emotional tampon. Telling me shit about her ex and her new plates after suggesting that I'm her "number 1 plate" and would drop all the others for me if we would live in same town (BTW she came to my town just to phuck me, she only knew the airport and my apartment LOL)

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Jesus man !! The story of her trying to get you to communicate and the shit about her ex is like a mirror story. I would cease contact with this girl for 4/5 days just so I held frame and she always complained that I wasn’t interested

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hahah yeah, this one told that shit about "not communication = lack of (my) interest" many times. Also preemptively told me that "oh you know, when I don't hear back from a guy I lost my interest on him". But then? Guess what... she initiated conversations every day, and mentioned that she's used to be pursued but that didn't happen with me. Then continued sending me nudes (as usual), etc.

Anyway, last week during a video call she pushed hard to make me become her emotional tampon, complained about "everybody is shallow, have sex that is even good but can't talk about anything with them" and then pushing the conversation to... like making me her psychoanalyst or something... I've actually kind of did it but in a way she didn't expect because I gave her some feedback that showed how her was immature in a couple of things, she swallowed that and made no contact so far. I'm not planning to make any either.

Moving on...

​

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Damn lol it’s a cold world ! I was the same with my one however when we first spoke I would message 50% first and she was the other 50% but ever since I fucked her I literally only contacted on nights I wanted to see her. If I was busy that week I wouldn’t even bother she must of realised this and once the beta offered commitment game set and match

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What I’m doing for in between fucks communication, is to keep conversation openly sexualized. Worked well with many plates. With this one it worked too well. So sexual that it created psychological intimacy and I didn’t realized how deep it went. Made physical be orders of magnitude better than mechanical sex

[–]Lambdal70 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah sarcasm isn’t a good foundation for relationships with girl. It’s a small factor omly.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I over used it to the point where she couldn’t believe what I was saying lol

[–]fairydust910 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fucking geniuses, why the fuck would we want to be a fucking PLATE when we can have an actual relationship and be treated like a HUMAN??😂😂😂 yall are just mad she bounced to the better dick 😂😂😂😘😘😘

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Plates get treated like humans, and even if she bounced she did it after he committed the beta pussy chaser needed commitment to get Pussy and I got it purely from using game

[–]fairydust910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or, you know, he liked her and did something about it.

[–]matcha_cheesecake0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

She is a plate. Why do you care so much

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She had ltr potential showed all the right signs of caring etc

[–]Kommanderdude 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

This reads like op is a autistic Indian with oneitis. Op fix your autism and get abundance. Also start lifting.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not Indian, already lift and thanks

[–]linkofinsanity190 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Plates break. That's just the nature of it. It's better that you don't LTR a girl just because she's hot and asks for commitment. If you had simply told her that it's fine that you stop seeing each other, you'd have kept your frame better. Then the possibility of her boomeranging back would have been higher. Going forward, work on aquiring new plates.

[–]Mallym170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah very true girls want what they can’t have, I’m building scarcity won’t contact and I am actively trying to get new plates

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

soft next - but only let her initiate contact. DO NOT contact her back. Make sure that she sucks lots of dick next meetup - no eating pussy, etc...

[–]Xerexes38693 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

She gotta suck a whole lotta dick.

[–]lilgoatedboy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She gone have to eat the ass too

[–]Nov51605-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i shouldna skimmed his post - yeah he buried himself by contacting like that not having her contact - so my suggestion is moot - its over for him

[–]Mallym171 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Never ate her pussy to start with im all about my needs first

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

good - remember we all learn by messin up - we've all done too much talking and not pulled back when we should've because the bitch is smokin - you'll pull another hard 8 soon enough

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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