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She's away with her family for Easter. She was moody all weekend (period starting) and then we called and she apologised, took full responsibility and we are good again.

Last night she says she doesn't mean to blank me, she's just got loads of uni work to do. Which she does. She disappears from all social media for the evening aside from a goodnight nude. This includes not having her location on Snapchat which means she purposefully hid it.

She never sends me nudes, and today she's been fairly affectionate out of nowhere, but her location is still off. I get the feeling you guys are going to tell me she got some good dick and now she's overcompensating out of guilt or to satisfy the beta me that cares or something.

No hard evidence and I could definitely be over thinking, but I'm not sure how to both detach so I don't overreact if it's true but still care enough to see the LTR through if she's been faithful.

Cheers.


[–]jinxmix216 points217 points  (31 children) | Copy Link

She’s got some dick. She’s not overcompensating. The nude was not taken for you. You just also got a copy.

[–]TheStumblingWolf30 points31 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Guess it's the female equivalent of giving flowers after cheating.

[–]Speedracer1111 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Women don't regret, nor feel guilty, for cheating. They apologize and cry because they got caught.

Its plausible deniability if he ever sees the picture. As someone else said, the OP is an afterthought, not the original recipient.

If she gave it some thought, she sent it to her simp of a boyfriend to jack off to. Women hate to be cheated on, even if they are cheating.

[–]EvolvedVirus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This rule applies:

  • If they are cheaters themselves, they will be paranoid and suspect you of cheating all the time, just on the basis that you don't invite them to something or you ignore them a bit, they will think you got ladies over.

Interestingly same universal rule applies to conspiracy theorists, if they are a conspiracy theorist, it's because they're the type of person who would commit all sorts of crimes and conspiracies, and so they are always paranoid and suspicious of everyone else and anyone with power.

Cheating is women going nuts with their power over men. They hate or belittle their own boyfriend and want to humiliate him because he "deserves it" for this-or-that and if you cheat on them instead, they will feel humiliated and horrified because they think they are superior to you. They're just bullies.

[–]bigboxguy-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Men are the same way

[–]Aesthetic_God__55 points56 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Lol. It's like you guys personally know him and the girl and reply.

[–]hrm089411 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The veterans here have heard and seen it all. AWALT.

[–]ChesterRickman1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree with what's being said here, but I really do wonder how many people who so fondly voice their opinions here actually have note-worthy real life experience.

[–]Aesthetic_God__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Four or five.

[–]omega_dawg9329 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

AWALT. hormones likely crazy since she started her cycle. if she's back at home, an old fling prolly got to her... after she has been setting it up for weeks/months.

OP has oneitis. be too busy working on you and plates to be worried about her. let her worry about you.

you wanting her pussy is equal to her wanting your time & attention.

pull back your time & attention immediately. ignore her. be distant. and watch her behavior from there.

[–]_PM_ME_UR_LINGERIE_5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some stories or details from stories seem to always crop up which lead to the same eventuality. They are some of the ways that AWALT manifest. There may be extraordinary circumstances, but a lot of what OP says about his girl's behaviour is textbook. Hence, the generalised answers.

[–]HurricaneHugues-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

AWALT means AWALT my guy. Once u know one you pretty much know them all

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (15 children) | Copy Link

I normally don't though, so something has changed in our dynamic from her mind, surely?

[–]jinxmix54 points55 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

My best guesstimate with the little information available is that there is a new person in the picture, the existence of which is more exhilarating than the current state of your relationship. This is what prompts the taking of the nudes. Of which you are a secondary recipient. The new person in the picture being the primary.

Sorry you’re going through this buddy. Take a decision about it, one way or another, and take yourself out of this situation that makes you feel like this.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy Link

Appreciate the insight man.

I'm going to apply dread, focus on building value, detach a bit and just wait till she's back from being away and see how she is in person. Cheers.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Careful. I made a post a while back about "applying dread" and I got reamed by the no-lifers who claim that you do not apply dread (despite what the gospel of the sidebar say and 12 levels if dread say). Allegedly, dread only comes from being so star-spangled awesome the girl hamsters herself into a state of dread.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

She already does that, but I thought that was more general female insecurity and dread was more of a rational conclusion?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I would have thought so too, esp considering dread levels. But distancing and working on your own shit seems like the right play, regardless of what BS redpill label we slap on it.

Just as am experiment, you could try disabling your own location on snap and see what happens. Ignore if she says anything. I dont use those kind of social media so I dont know the ins and outs.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not true. Even beta orbiters can cause them dread. Essentially it causes the pedestaled girl to throw the orbiter a bone to pull him back in. And yes, this can and does include low quality sex. Dread only doesn't work when the girl being dreaded is about to branch swing or truly believes you are faking it.

[–]mickymark10 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What is dread? I’m trying to learn.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Basically (passively or actively) making a girl think she could lose you at any moment, thus causing her to try harder to keep you around IE giving you better/more sex, better favors like cooking or gifts, or just in general being less bitchy and less autistic than usual.

Examples of dread
Passive - being an attractive guy, having hot female friends that she knows about, being too busy to reply to texts until hours later, generally having alot of stuff going on so that you're too busy for her,etc (basically just YOU being YOU)

Active - lifting weights alot, being part of different groups or places where you'll be around lots of women (classes, gym, volunteering, sports, etc), flirting with women in front of her (the women have to initiate on you, not the other way around)

It's important to only "crank up" the dread when your woman is acting stupid. You only punish bad behavior, not good behavior.

there is alot of overlap between the two types and some of it gets pretty mind-gamey if you're trying too hard. The best way to do it is just have an awesome life and a DGAF attitude. That way you aren't fake or just "teaching her a lesson" If my girl is being autistic or something I just go work on something else, hang out with friends, do whatever, just vanish for a few hours or a day. Come back like nothing happened.

you can read "12 levels of dread" if you google it. but that particular writeup is more for married guys who have sucky-ass lives thanks to sucky-ass wives. but some of it applies to bachelors.

[–]SeamusAwl8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldnt apply dread. I would apply drop. By turning off her location, she was doing something she didnt want someone to find out. As her boyfriend, it is a good chance it would have been you. Trust was broken and she has shown not to be LTR material. Regardless if she went to see a movie with her girlfriends or she had a date with a potential branch to swing to. You cannot trust her. Dreading her is too late now. Just drop her.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You spelled 'demote her to plate' wrong

[–]SeasonedRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with this guesstimate. I thought the same thing.

[–]SeamusAwl3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Here is what likely happened. She went on a date. Good chance she perceived he had higher SMV before the date, but realized you were better. So you got a nude. For Me personally, turning off location would be being sneaky and she would be gone. Regardless of what actually happened, trust was destroyed. I need to trust my wife/ltr.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1004 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

EXACTLY. You just got a copy bredda and datsit.

[–]TheHyperHuman103 points104 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

You've got a gut feeling something is not right.

Listen to your gut feeling.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If there is doubt, there is no doubt.

[–]yumyumgivemesome3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

While I agree with most people's conclusions in here, I don't think your statement is always true. TRP has molded me to expect AWALT around every corner. However, rather than immediately make conclusions and next a girl, I've used the mindset to prepare myself for the curtain to be lifted. There have been quite a few situations in which I felt quite certain of a girl AWALTing and later concluding in retrospect that those AWALT suspicions were very likely incorrect.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You don't understand what that means. It isn't convicting anyone of a crime. It's noting that the outcome will be the same regardless.

[–]yumyumgivemesome1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My point is a recognition that our instincts fail us sometimes. Some people go through life always shooting from the hip and "trusting their gut." I'm pointing out why I favor a balance of instincts and rational conclusions. To the extent your comment relates to trust issues, then I am 100% on board -- if there are trust issues, then it doesn't matter whether there was an actual breach of trust.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No no. We still aren't there.

The effects of your suspicion will match the effects of her actually doing it. Guys delude themselves about this all the time and it's a bad idea. This is why we say all women are like a loaded gun. Not all women will cheat in every relationship.

[–]TheHyperHuman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"The effects of your suspicion will match the effects of her actually doing it."

You put it very succinctly.

[–]Kommanderdude 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

Listening to your gut isn’t always the best choice. Especially when you are insecure and lack abundance and experience like op. If we were 10 years older and had banged 30 + women then I’d say trust the gut. But he’s young and lacks experience.

[–]TheHyperHuman24 points25 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My gut tells me OP will choose to remain in the relationship anyway and in time will know if HIS gut feeling was right.

I just hope he'll have the decency to post back here on what ultimately happened.

[–]FJHUAI3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They will get married and live happily ever after, right?

[–]TheHyperHuman4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And they'll call you to the wedding to be the maid of honor.

[–]FJHUAI5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😅😅

[–]umizumiz4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Damn, good advice.

[–]SheepHerder0070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This

[–]mickymark10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely right. I’m young and inexperienced with a great intuition with everything except relationships. Countless times was a proven wrong. I lack the experience and am vulnerable, but have just enough to know what’s going on.

[–]Toxik60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. You’re gut feeling is always right. When things don’t add up or particularly make sense but there is a lot of confusion but not enough evidence; that’s when you should know something is up. Trust it. Sometimes it’s easier to let it go and chalk it up to a fluke. Maybe because the situation is to ambiguous but that’s exactly where they operate.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ahhh. Dat parrrrrrrrr

[–]bittr_n_swt133 points134 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

I’ve heard it before and I’ve heard it again. When a woman becomes more affectionate than usual, they’re compensating and they’ve cheated.

Soft next

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (15 children) | Copy Link

Permanently or what? Until evidence is found one way or the other?

[–]ziphias30 points31 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yes, man. Just let it go and perhaps plate her later.

[–]Incognito_famous3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How do you demote her from relationship status to plate? How to handle the talk?

[–]egoissuffering2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont imagine you need to talk about it all.

[–]Incognito_famous2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why don't you hang out with me? Why are you so distant and cold now?

Her questions probably.

[–]CaptDeadlift1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very , very hard to do that.

I assume this will work out only if your SMV is very high or way above hers. My ex cheated on me because I used too much dread and she came to me 2 days ago saying "I know what I did is bad and you might not take me back but I just want you to know I'll be here" lol'd. Fucked her that night like I used to and sent her on her way because "I had to do work".

Tried plating an older LTR but that backfired bad.

She said she will not sleep with me unless we're in a relationship again.

[–]EvolvedVirus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Plate her. Pump and Dump... Pump and Dump... Just not in the stock market.

If a girls' moods and actions are totally shifting around all the time. That's why you don't date BPD mood-swingers. You don't date someone who is really "unavailable" some weeks or week, and "very available and affectionate" the next. They are doing things potentially.

A normal relationship, you'll be able to tell: they just like you and they usually want to hang out a lot.

Some women may have demanding jobs (lawyers, doctors, nurses) but they will show a consistency as well. Consistency, stability, means a good girl.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

She's a plate now if you can mentally handle it, game other women, this one is broken.

[–]mickymark1-5 points-4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

May I please ask what a plate is?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You can, but if you read the sidebar you will read about it soon enough.

[–]mickymark11 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’m using a phone and cannot locate a sidebar. Correction: the side bar gives me a server error. I’m SOL!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't have the link. Best of luck.

[–]mickymark1-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Youre an a$$

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

A plate is a low level relationship type. You don't plan on being with her in the future, you don't take her out on dates, you don't spend time with her much outside of calling her over to have sex or going to her house and having sex.

It is the preliminary step. You are sexually attracted to each other but you don't know each other well enough to have any real trust outside of that sexual attraction. You don't spend hours talking on the phone, you don't say you love each other, you are basically strangers.

She might want more, you might want more, either way, a plate is specifically held back from anything else.

She might be worth more, but you don't know, you feel it out, you watch for red flags. If you don't see any, you give her a little more time or attention, but you don't rush into anything. She's not instantly your girlfriend, she can move closer to being a friend with benefits. You might agree on a lot of things, you might enjoy similar hobbies, you might enjoy the same food, so you go do those things with her.

You might meet the people she knows, you might openly hold hands or kiss, you might go on dates, but you aren't dating. You aren't together. You make this clear: We are just having fun and getting to know each other.

Statistically a relationship lasts about 3 years. There are phases, ups and downs, then a fall, when one or both partners realize most the things you are doing or are going to do have been done. You recognize that though you are comfortable, you aren't growing together in a positive way, or at a high enough speed or whatever. Directions of each individual are very specific to YOU as a person so, someone cheats, someone starts pulling away.

Your job is to realize these signals within yourself and within her. Typically you hear women branch swing. In my eyes a woman recognizes that she's bored or no longer interested in the guy she is currently with, and curious about other men around her that are obviously willing to commit just like the man she is with.

If you do not give her that commitment, if she doesn't have the time right away to get to know you deeply and feel like she understands you, she slowly can hook onto you and form a stronger bond.

You plate a woman to magnetize her to you. You continue to plate her because it works better for you than dating her. Maybe she's not crazy, but maybe she's messy or she doesn't give enough or doesn't know how to care for a man in a deep enough way. Maybe she's on her phone all the time or obsessed with attention from dozens of dudes and constantly anything irritating that is fine for an hour but not fine for three hours. It's fine in the sheets but then get the fuck out.

She wont understand most of the time if she feels she's of high value and values you. Why don't you like me? Now you can tell her and see if she can change, 90% of the population cannot change, they are set. Maybe she can fake it for a few months or a year to see if she can tie you down. Maybe you upgrade her to friends with benefits, or you break under the pressure of loosing her sweet sweet sex that you jump right into a [fictional] LTR and go through all the steps of moving in, possibly joining finances, and having a child with someone you haven't even known for more than a few years.

You don't want to do that. It isn't responsible for you or for her or for anyone associated with your mutual friends and family. Millions of things can go wrong, treasure your inner circle, where an LTR goes and cultivate as many women as you can for that position without committing to any of them. Sex is great, friends are great, LTR's are seldom permanent, but they see where you keep your nice things, they use your bathroom and help you cook and clean. They help you do the things that allow you to be excellent.

If they fuck that up, it's your fault, you let them inside your ivory tower. You gave them the keys to the kingdom, and with those keys, they have the power to burn everything down.

[–]mickymark11 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You are one of my favorite human beings. Thank you so much for helping me out. I love this community because of the heart we have for each other. Acts like this make me love you all more and more.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I still don't have the link to TRP's specific dogma of the definition ;)

[–]caius10027 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your gut is right 90% of the times. It's over. Hard next.

[–]mleko6923 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I presume you've soft-nexted her, right? Slowly degrade her to "friends with benefits", then to "fuck buddy", and everything will naturally fade away. Her behavior is a red flag IMO, but I'd wait for more solid proof which will appear sooner or later.

[–]TehJoshW69 points70 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

If you feel the need to check your girlfriends snapchat location, you probably shouldn't be in that relationship to begin with

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

That's a fair point. Need to work on that insecurity. Thank you.

[–]sstidman18 points19 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

It's not insecurity to recognize such obvious red flags.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

I meant with me checking her location.

[–]umizumiz14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You checked for a reason, i suppose. There's nothing wrong with investigating a bad feeling.

[–]QueenSlapFight6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You thought something was up and looked into it. That's not insecurity. And you were right. You didn't say you track her all the time. You said her behavior was odd, you looked into it some more because of it, and found even more red flags

[–]FJHUAI4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a sad day when NOT sharing your location becomes a red flag.

Ops GF is ignorant for sharing her location to begin with.

[–]QueenSlapFight8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Her not sharing her location is not a red flag.

Her (on her own) sharing her location all the time, then behaving strangely, then hiding her location, is a red flag. It's obvious from the context of the story its the change her in her behavior that implies deceit.

[–]slamdunktiger86-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Been here before and found out the long hard way. If you have to go to these extremes, it's over. Sorry bro. Put that plate back on the shelf or for a long cycle in the dishwasher. Expand bullpen.

[–]fnxmobile 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Guy is insecure as shit

[–]1redhawkes22 points23 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Trust your gut. Up the dread and pay attention to her behavior.

The thing is that you fully operate in her frame, which speaks that you don't follow any of the tenets here. I'd demote her to plate and add more to the roster just to see what abundance feels like.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy Link

I'll get some reading done tonight after work.

"Fully operate in her frame." - Genuine question, what gave it away?

[–]1redhawkes11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

The title of your post.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy Link

Not quite sure what that means. Noticing behaviour changes and preparing for predicted outcomes is being in her frame? So it'd be better to pretend I didn't notice and be unprepared?

[–]1redhawkes5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

No, but the thing that she got your hamster on fire.

She should be afraid to lose you, not the other way around. Stop giving a fuck before you drown in her frame.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ah right I get you now, yeah, thanks for spelling it out for me.

Going out tonight with an ex plate that I dropped for the LTR. She's excited. Won't cross any lines but might help with abundance.

[–]ippo4ever1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The lines to cross are already broken when she broke your trust.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're right, but I'm not certain she actually did anything. Besides, I have my own personal morals that I would betray should I cheat, regardless of the situation with my LTR.

Doesn't mean I can't set up backup options for afterwards.

[–]SolarTortality0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You should be soft nexting the current LTR. Go all the way up to the lines if you don’t intend to cross them.

[–]1redhawkes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Flex the lines bud.

[–]Look_Ma_Im_On_Reddit-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You shouldn't care because as soon as she drops the ball you move onto another option you have

[–]willso8660 points61 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

She got some average dick and has been thinking that you are better at hitting it

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate the optimism but I'm probably only somewhat above average in bedroom performance.

[–]laserdicks11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How would you know?

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I presume that sex ability is based on technique, size, physical stamina/strength and experience.

I have the size, somewhat decent technique, rest is average.

I'd say it was even better with our pair bonding enhancing the experience but obviously that goes out the window if she's fucking other dudes.

[–]laserdicks14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok you've really thought about this. Any reason you can't improve your technique?

[–]SemperPrimus16 points17 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Uuhh how can you find someones location thru snapchat? Edit: man this is fucked up, no wonder my ex kbows what im doing all the time!

[–]volvostupidshit3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha she dumped you right?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LMFAO

[–]Imperator_Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why the fuck do all you people use this garbage? All I have is facebook and I go on like once a month and regret it every time.

[–]Casd1213 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hide your location, disappear for a night see how she reacts. If she doesn't care then you could be over thinking this and she didn't fuck some other dude. If she over reacts and gets all nervous then she probably did cheat. This won't confirm it 100% tho. Regardless, just be prepared

[–]Kommanderdude 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Part of feels like this is your male hamster spinning because you lack abundance. Why do you have the time to track her location on snap chat? Perhaps she is worried that you’ll mess around without her there so she is sending nudes to keep you happy. I’m gonna need more info than that to make a determination. Not everything is as black and white as the Virgin sperg lords on here will lead you to believe

[–]FJHUAI2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Amen brother. AWALT is a myth but where there's smoke there is fire.

[–]KoolAidMan79808 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Youre throwing around all the buzzwords but not listening to what ALL the comments are telling you. She is not acting appropriately for a LTR. Demote and personally I would next.

[–]sstidman7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's insecurity when you experience typical behavior but fear something is wrong even when there have been no red flags. But that's not the case here. You checked her location because her behavior suggested she was possibly cheating. You're suspicion is mostly based on a change in behavior that is obvious to you but I'd bet there were other subtle changes that you've picked up subconsciously that you are not aware of. It's a combination of the conscious and subconscious clues that led to that guy feeling.

As a guy who has too much experience with a cheating wife, I see what you've described as serious red flags.

[–]KeenanTheBarbarian6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

As far as purposefully hiding her location maybe she turned on airplane mode and GPS location was lost? I'm not entirely sure how it works while I have it I don't snapchat to be honest it feels like a waste of time.

You are thinking of one possibility but the truth is there are many. Maybe she does actually feel bad for being cunty. Sometimes when I'm with a girl too frequently I can't stand her presence/little things annoy me and after we're apart for a while I realize I miss parts of them I'm sure it happens to all of us.

You have choices to make. Trusting your gut is important and it's also important to note you don't have any proof of anything. I personally would continue on with the relationship keeping in mind you don't feel it's right so being open to new opportunities. Hit the gym, live your life and when someone new comes along if you still feel the way you do - take action.

When I get bitchy behavior I call them out on it immediately and pull back until I feel like they've invested enough effort to make up for it. A simple "sorry" isn't good enough - it's just words. If you like repetitive behavior accept the apology and move on until it happens again (and repeat every time exams come up or they have period or what have you) otherwise shut it down completely. Sometimes girls act this way when they're questioning if you're into it too... It's impossible to know so again trust your gut and live your life how you want to live it.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Very helpful stuff man thanks a lot.

I'm really appreciating the perspective, it's easy to jump to conclusions. Ima stay with her for now.

[–]SolarTortality0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jumping to conclusions is easy, however it isn’t jumping to conclusions to realize she is intentionally being deceitful. She is trying to hide her location from someone. You don’t know why or from whom she is hiding it from... but the answer to the second question might be obvious if you can’t think of any other people that she might possibly be hiding her location from.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

she fucked some other dude and felt bad about it. dump her brah

[–]donkeydodo10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Mentally impregnate a picture of her being gangbanged by AC Big Black 10''; get it through your thick skull that she's using you as a backup-dick, perhaps a BetaBux - it hurts man, for sure, but man the longer you wait the worse it'll get.

[–]volvostupidshit5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Haha the right time to hurt is now.

[–]lacaguana4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Always trust your gut

[–]alleyteris10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Trust but verify ( im kidding ,never trust )

[–]cafeitalia3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Location is turned off. A behavior she never exhibited before. So there is a change that happened. Enough reason for dump-truck to floor the gas.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

she's been fairly affectionate out of nowhere

Ding ding ding. That's the big one. Changes in physical behavior are a golden tell.

You have been lining up other women, so it really won't be a big hit when she is gone. Right? You have been doing that, yes? Meanwhile, keep sticking your dick into her until it becomes a chore instead of fun.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I haven't, but that's partially a function of my lifestyle. I work a lot. But I have 2 ex plates eager to jump back into something and one prospect which I feel is bordering on enough.

Chore instead of fun - love it. Thank you.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Abundance is vital, both in your head and on your dick.

[–]yettymonkey6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

detach and back away some. You need to up your SMV and apply dread. If she does not respond after all of that and the truth does not eventually come out then soft next her. She could still be a future FWB if that's what you want. But she is not LTR material as more then likely she did something that would go against the LTR code. Let that be getting some dick, going to a party, club, making out with a dude, etc..... What is interesting is that you got the nude pic also which sounds like whatever happened was enough to just excite her and give a "spark" back in the relationship that was no longer there in her hamster. Remember you guys are young and she in the prime of her SMV so if anything take this as a blessing and a lesson to learn about the true nature of women. The sooner you can except that the better a man you will become.

[–]Rerel2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

/dump

/next

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I get the feeling you guys are going to tell me she got some good dick and now she's overcompensating out of guilt or to satisfy the beta me that cares or something.

Like most people who ask questions here, you already know the answer.

You just don't want to believe it.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Very true. If there's one thing TRP teaches that I struggle to grasp, it's that we generally already know all of this.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah. In your case, I would stop worrying about whether she was cheating on you or not, because it doesn't matter.

If you are feeling suspicious that she might be, then generally either she is, or she soon will be. And it doesn't make a lot of sense to obsess over which it is.

[–]Retstortion1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s over.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t give a fuck where my woman is. If she’s got nothing to hide I don’t need to know her location. The fuck is this bullshit about tracking each other? I’ll never let an LTR track my ass, nor would I ask her to do the same.

[–]SolarTortality1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She chose to publicly broadcast her location, it’s not OPs fault that she is literally retard tier

[–]mickymark11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she’s never sent you nudes before she’s DEFINITELY overcompensating, especially when hiding her location. And IF SHE’s hiding her location that means she knows you know that location/lack of her not being where she’s supposed to be.

[–]DoucheBiggalo 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Chill out bro, you’re definitely overthinking. You shouldn’t even be bothered by checking her location. That shit is such an invasion of privacy imo. I get it. It hurts thinking she might be unfaithful, but this short term change doesn’t mean much. It’s not evidence of anything. Get a grip and stop relying on her behavior to feel content with the LTR. At most treat her like a plate and proceed with caution.

[–]SolarTortality1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Such an invasion of privacy” this is the female frame used against a man when the woman wants to pretend that a “invasion of privacy” is the real crime so that her cheating can be overlooked. You are being a simp. His LTR was publicly broadcasting her location on Snapchat. There was nothing private about it.

[–][deleted]1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell her to share her location with nobody but you. See how she responds. If she’s not hiding anything she shouldn’t care.

[–]Dustin_Bromain0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Using the location feature on Snapchat is a fucking retarded way to try and judge her behavior. Also, a nude out of the blue could literally mean that she wanted to show you her value/sex appeal.

Without hard evidence you have nothing to go off of. Sit her down, talk to her in person and judge her reactions to your questions. If she avoids the questions or won't answer you in a completely honest fashion, then you know something is up.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Very true. May have overreacted. Thanks man.

[–]Dustin_Bromain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Take it one step at a time my man.

[–]SolarTortality0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Trust your gut. She is being deceptive about something. I say apply dread. Don’t ignore the problem just because it is uncomfortable.

[–]yumyumgivemesome0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

OP, I think you're still in the information-gathering phase. Your hunch and everybody else's hunches are very likely correct, but maybe you're not ready to drop her outright. Find opportunities to learn more without letting her know that you are suspicious. In the meantime, you psychologically "next" or demote her. This will make it easier to literally next or demote her when your suspicions are confirmed. Also keep in mind that you may never know the truth, but that doesn't mean you need to remain in the relationship if there is a very serious issue of trust.

[–]zxcvb78090 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

She was looking for someone to bang when she was ovulating. Someone who she saw as more of an alpha than you for whatever reason. After she satiated that desire she goes back into comfort mode (beta.) I read about this recently.

You don't own her, it is just your turn sir.

[–]asktrp44330 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

as for the snapchat - if her score isn't going up and her location isn't updating she hasn't used it.

if her score is going up and her location isn't updating she hid it, likely for sus reasons.

keep in mind that the score updates whenever a snap is either sent or opened, and the location updates whenever the app is opened.

[–]adhdrp 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah we snapped this morning while she was more affectionate but the location didn't update. It turned back on a couple hours later.

[–]rpmc830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Looks even more suspicious if you've now confirmed the location details were turned off for a particular time window only.

I'm with the rest that you shouldn't even be tracking each other, however the fact she has it on and appears to have turned it off for a particular time window only to turn it back on after is a bit of a red flag. I'd be subtly curious what she was doing at that time.

[–]satellite7790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Probably cuddling with another guy and feeling guilty

[–]RuleTheOne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow this advice is golden I never looked into Snapchat like that before. It's almost like she'd be shooting herself in the foot with Snapchat because you can view the metrics.

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whatever you do, act from a place of abundance. Always be independent and not reliant on anyone else.

Quietly slip back and move along. Don’t be needful or seek approval.

[–]Startlivingfornow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Where there’s smoke, there’s flames —mother fucker

[–]Kabuki4310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow so most of you guys dont know how women react on their periods ? Not saying she didn't get side action, but c'mon women on their periods are a different beast all together. I have closely seen women withdraw, isolate and go off grid on period. Optimistically she might not wanna go all bitch in OP.

But again AWALT

[–]faustian_talos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She is fucking around. Ditch her.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know... I’m 35. Been with dozens of women. Never in any of my relationships has my gfs mood or sexual interest changed because of where she’s at in her menstral cycle. She was only moody with you bud.

You know what else I’ve learned in my 35 years on this planet? It’s ALWAYS what it looks like.

[–]addwater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

More red flags than a communist parade breh.

I'd be demoting to plate before I get cucked and start self improving.

[–]Gdubs760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry, that was mistype. Should have read 'you blame her for "his" actions'.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You already know what she did. So you know what to do.

But, if you want to, just to humor yourself, do this- talk to her as if nothing is wrong. FaceTime her later. Talk to her like normal. Pop the question- so why did you turn your location off last night on snap? She may or may not tell you the truth but pay attention to the way she says it.

[–]Gdubs760 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Its creepy that you would check her location.

[–]SolarTortality0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ridiculous. It’s her fault for making it available to him. There is no reason he shouldn’t follow up on a suspicion he has with his “LTR”

If she were just a plate then yes it would be creepy

[–]Gdubs760 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You blame her for his actions.

That's what we call a creep.

Even if she is cheating so what?

Be a man and confront her and ask for the truth.

[–]SolarTortality1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“You blame her for her actions”

Of course. She is to blame for her actions, as all people are. What kind of broken logic is that? If she is cheating she has violated the trust of the relationship and you need to look elsewhere if you are seeking a fulfilled trusting relationship. I’m not saying you should explode into anger, stoicism is the best route, that being said of course you can blame her for her actions. It wouldn’t be unwise to also blame yourself.

Sure you can “confront her and ask for the truth like a man”. If she is actually cheating on you then she will have no problem lying and will perceive you as weak. If she isn’t cheating on you then she will perceive you as weak unless you have sufficiently high smv that she wouldn’t ever cheat to begin with.

Poor strategy imo if you have high enough smv that she wouldn’t cheat there is no reason to ask, and if you don’t have high enough smv then you are compromising yourself either way. What do you think the outcome will be from asking that question?

The correct answer is to apply dread and focus on self improvement if you are worried about her cheating. However, if she is retarded enough to publicly broadcast her location at all times, then there is nothing wrong with checking it. At the same time, if you feel the need to constantly check her location then yes there is something wrong with the relationship - but checking it one time because you have reason to be suspicious is only covering your ass. Calling someone creepy for covering their ass is a ridiculous tactic used to control people with low self esteem.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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