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When you’re talking to a cute girl, you shouldn’t just think she’s attractive, you should feel attracted to her on a physiological level.

Desire is contagious, if you feel it, the girl will feel it. And that underlying sexual feeling is the spark that makes seduction possible.

Without that feeling there is no reason for a girl to go on a date with you or to go home with you. She might have logically enjoyed your company, but unless she actually felt desire for you, it’s unlikely she will sleep with you.

This sounds obvious, yet few men effectively communicate their sexual desire to women. Ask yourself this: when you’re interacting with a woman you like, how often do you feel turned on?

Most men rarely experience raw lust for a woman, they only think they want her on a cognitive level. But there is no emotion behind it.

The difference between a guy who gets repeatedly friend-zoned and a guy who can effortlessly turn girls on is his own ability to experience desire for women in real life.

If you don’t feel sexual desire for the women you see in your real life, you’re missing the point of seduction.

(Obviously, feeling desire isn't the only factor important in creating sexual desire - your physical appearance, social status, outer game, etc. all play a role, but this is an important factor that men rarely consider.)

So, how do you actually do this?

You might be thinking that you should tell girls you find them attractive or that you should talk about sexual topics.

Neither of those things are necessary, and if anything, they can backfire (being so overt can make women feel uncomfortable unless you do it very tactfully).

There’s a better way. A way to project sexual energy without being creepy.

Instead of talking about sex on a verbal level, learn to cultivate your ability to experience sexual desire for women you find attractive.

In modern society, we learn to associate our sex drive with two things: porn and masturbation. We channel our sexual desire into pixels instead of into our real lives.

Through years of conditioning, we forget how to see real women as sexual beings. We know on a logical level that we want to have sex with beautiful women, but we don’t feel it on an emotional level when we see a hot girl walk by.

The following are three strategies you can use to undo the social conditioning that has taught you to be uncomfortable with your own sexual nature.

 

Eliminate Porn

 

Reality is dull compared to the fantasies porn allows you to vicariously live out.

Watching porn is a bad habit that does more harm than good.

Porn is extremely stimulating – it floods us explicit images and sounds.

When we become used to a high level of stimulus, we are no longer impacted by the regular beauty of the women we interact with in the real world.

A woman in a tight skirt isn’t exciting when you’re used to seeing fifteen different girls get naked in a compilation within 30 seconds.

But if you cut out porn, you’ll start to appreciate the natural sexuality of women in your day-to-day life. You no longer have access to this unrealistic fantasy world, so reality will become more viscerally appealing.

 

Change Your Focus

 

When you’re out approaching women, focus on the sexual side of the environment rather than the logical side of the environment.

What I mean is that when you see a girl walk by, there’s a difference between thinking, “She’s hot, I should talk to her,” and actually checking her out and appreciating how sexy she is.

Male sexuality gets shamed in modern culture. Partly ,this is necessary for society to function – if men were to fully embrace their sexual urges, nothing would get done.

However, it has gotten to a point that most of us are completely cut off from our sexual nature. We learn that checking out women is creepy and that wanting sex is perverted. We learn to associate getting a boner with shame rather than excitement.

All this coalesces into a state of mind where we are psychologically conditioned to avoid feeling anything sexual in the real world.

You can train yourself to break this conditioning: with your conscious intention, you can regain control of your own sexual desire.

This isn’t about being a perv or being creepy – don’t stare at women’s breasts. But when you see a cute girl walk by, let yourself appreciate her femininity, her beauty, her attractiveness.

It’s in your DNA to do this, you just have to put conscious effort into reclaiming this ability you were born with.

If you find this difficult, you can take it a step further: actually visualize sexual imagery when you’re out approaching women. Imagine yourself ripping a girl’s clothes off, imagine her naked, imagine what it would be like to throw her on a bed and fuck her brains out.

This will take some practice, but the results are so life-altering that the effort is worth it.

Once you make the shift from attempting to logically attract women, to emotionally seducing them, your life will never be the same.

Your interactions with women will be far more powerful, impactful, and enjoyable – not only for you, but for the girls you interact with too.

Don’t take this to mean that your game needs to be more direct. My verbal communication with women is actually extremely indirect. In terms of what I say, I show almost no sexual interest, if anything, I show disinterest.

But on an emotional level, there is a clear sexual ‘vibe’, it’s in the eye contact, my vocal tonality, and my overall demeanor.

If on a verbal level, you seem somewhat uninterested in a girl (https://redpilltheory.com/2018/08/15/how-to-tease-a-girl-and-spark-sexual-attraction/), but there is a clear sexual heat in your nonverbal communication, that will create sexual tension.

She can feel that you want her, but because your words imply the opposite, she’ll wonder what’s going to happen, “I’m attracted to this guy, but I can’t tell whether he really likes me or if he sees me as a friend.” Do it well, and the sexual tension will build up to a point that sex becomes a foregone conclusion.

Seduction is a process that starts with an emotion and eventually gets explained with logic. Unfortunately, most men are taught that dating is about making a girl logically think you’re a good option for her so that she will become attracted to you.

In dating, your primary focus should be on the emotions you’re making women experience, and the easiest place to start is with yourself: any feeling you experience will spread to others around you, sexual attraction is no exception.


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[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 115 points116 points  (10 children)

Women are in tune emotionally, far more than men.

Your body language, voice tone and demeanor play for more of a role than the actual content of the words coming out of your mouth.

If it's tense, rehearsed and robotic she'll pick up on it. If it's calm, seductive and enticing, she'll pick up on that too.

Alot of guys focus so much on what they say, when the value lies in how you say it.

[–]redpill77 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Yea, it's one of those things that gets repeated so much that people who don't know better think it's useless advice for beginners, kinda like the common "just get abundance" advice.

You can talk to a girl about her studies, but if you're eye-fucking her you don't need no verbal escalation.

[–]godsbestgift 10 points11 points  (1 child)

ya kno tho it really isn't about "getting abundance". Abundance is always there, its just the mind limits what one thinks they can have.

[–]randtorrs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For example: abundance is having other shit to do in life than just thinking about the girls you're gaming. When it comes to game, it's about the possibility of going out and meeting new women.

[–]theunconquored 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I think that the thing that I missed early in my RP self growth was that this isn't about what you do, it's about who you are, and who you are becoming.

Old me and new me can say the same words, take the same actions, even wear the same clothes. But everything I do now comes from a place of personal confidence, self respect, and strength. Those things matter in how you communicate non-verbally.

When we do things trying to obtain a certain outcome, and we tie our sense of self worth to whether or not we achieve that outcome, we will inevitably come across as needy. We need the thing to go right, because if it goes wrong, it confirms all of the self doubt and self hatred that the blue pill world has saddled our psyches with.

But when we grow to accept ourselves, regardless of the outcome of our actions, the neediness disappears. If she doesn't respond the way we want, or we don't get the result we were hoping for at work, or whatever, we can accept that for what it is: a temporary setback based on an entire set of circumstances outside our control that has nothing to do with who we are or what our value is to ourselves and the rest of the world.

[–]NenJ 5 points6 points  (3 children)

How do you work on something like this?

I recently picked up on "The charisma myth" and it talks about things like slowing down your talking pace. Anything you would recommend?

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It comes like second nature to me now, I've been practicing for years on thousands of women, you get the mix spot on eventually.

Things to work on early on though....

When you talk to a women your instincts will kick in and you'll naturally start with the robotic behaviour.

To counter this before you talk to a women back yourself, say im gonna be so smooth. Repeat it, feel it, and engage. It snaps you out of that tense, being on the immediate back foot and gets you in the right mindset.

Biggest part is removing the pussy pedestal. This will come naturally once you've been with enough women, because you truly realize non of them are special, they're all replaceable. In the meantime think about how average and replaceable she is before you talk to her, you'll care less about how well it goes, which will actually aid you.

Then just be relaxed as possible(comes with practice) it's the single biggest indicator that you're not bothered by her. View the interaction as a challenge, a game that you have to play, and you're better than her at it. Instead of trying to impress her, you're then actually responding to what she's saying, one upping her, teasing her.

Wen you play a tennis match your mind is not panicking thinking what do I do on every shot, itvinstinctvely responds with a tactical shot to one up your opponent, game and approaching is no different, this is the ideal mindset to achieve.

[–]wildtimes3 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Practice.

Slow down everything.

Look away from your book, slowly. Clear your palate, slowly. Cut your food in front of a woman slow and methodically, not like a caveman...pretend you aren’t bulking. Pick up your drink carefully, sip with some seemingly intended purpose.

It sounds crazy, but I’ve had women do the, “ruffle my feathers” “try to shake this turned on, off”, just because I wasn’t rushing through an activity at their expected pace.

There is a line where you look like a weirdo, but... One of the rules of lecture is that if you are slow and correct no one will notice. If you are fast and mess up no one misses it

[–]wildtimes3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One of the easiest ways to create a strong practical frame is to have at least two venues planned for every outing. At least know the name of a place around the corner. If you meet a woman at a bar, it’s super useful conversationally to have the venue change already built into the evening you “planned”.

It’s hard to be charismatic about sitting on your barstool.

I’m Steve, we’re going next door because they have good wings. or later... We just came from_______, they had good drink specials.

Much more flexible than, “Have you been here before? Cool.”

[–]PM_Me_OK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women are in tune because they barely do shit. The guys are the ones who mostly make the moves, while they are pretty much passive their whole lives.

[–]omega_dawg93 99 points100 points  (13 children)

i guess I'm a blessed man. i have 3 older sisters and I've watched them interact with guys then talk about what turned them on/off. here are the main points:

  1. what you say really doesn't matter to women. you could be talking about the weather and the rain... and if she's into your body language, tone, and cadence, it will turn her on. you need to be smooth & methodical... not nervous & tense.
  2. now here's the fun. when talking about something like the weather, say how "wet" it is... how sticky & humid it is, etc. but know that when you make eye contact during these times is crucial. "the atmosphere is so wet and with this humidity, it's so warm and sticky," while looking into the ground does NOTHING vs looking right btw her eyes then glancing head to toe while saying it.
  3. talk to ALL women you meet as if you've already fucked them. this takes away any nervous feelings, makes you seem less desperate/eager, sets a subconscious "abundance mentality" frame and gets her moist thru mystery. break eye contact when she's talking and halfway ignore what she's saying while looking her in the eye... smirk a little if you have to. do this when she's going on & on about how wonderful she is. iow, act like you've been there and pretty women are the norm for you. this makes her want to impress you.
  4. do not put her on a pedestal bc she's cute. i never compliment women I'm not fucking so don't let all that war paint and tight fitting clothing blur your "vision." let all the other guys tell her she's looking good when she's intentionally trying hard to look good. i usually say, "nice hairstyle" as i walk up to women i know just left the gym or didn't doll themselves up tgt Walmart. iow, give a small compliment when she's NOT trying to impress the crowd.
  5. the hardest one. learn the language of women, esp. younger women. they're socially mindful of their status and reputation so they won't be overt with what they want. they won't say, "come over... i want some dick," but will instead say, "can you stop by... I'd like to talk to you... just want to be "around you" for a little while." the words "around you" are the key. with older women, fuck all dat. MILFS & GILFS have played those games already... have no time for covert talk and say, "you busy tonight? if not... i need dick. oh, and i have tgt work early tmo so don't plan on sleeping over for morning fun."

as men, we are too caught up with "getting it done" and don't take the time to give women the little story they need to feel good about LETTING YOU SEDUCE THEM. they WANT to be seduced & "swept off their feet," but they do not want to tell or show you how to do it. they want you to already know the game they need to get into that mode.

give them that time/story within reason and act like it's your regular MO: you're not phased or amazed by her beauty or booty... don't need her pussy... and can/will walk off if she doesn't fall into a submissive and welcoming disposition.

[–]420KUSHBUSH 7 points8 points  (8 children)

Thanks for commenting, very insightful. I'll add my views on it if you don't mind as I've incorporated these myself. These points can be changed via perspective to work in any social context

  1. I'd argue that what you do say is important as long as your tonality is right and you're engaging her listening. Make your words flow like honey and the bees will swarm

  2. Engaging the subconscious, smart cookie you are. Doing this sort of thing with words and eye contact helps a ton. For example in this interview: https://youtu.be/_uP3v97D1TY?t=135 at 2:20 the interviewer strokes the table and shifts her mouth when the actor playing Borat mentions "hand party", as well as a scene later on where he brings her close to him and she lingers around him. If you know how to harness that subconscious body language and read it you are set to shoot for the stars

  3. You'd be surprised what mind over matter does to you. Wholeheartedly agree

  4. Complimenting works at times for some and does not for some others. I generally like to stay away from complimenting though there is one comment I like to use on women that are my ideal type that ALWAYS works well. Fine tune the craft of flattery

  5. I believe this is the easiest one. Just be a good listener

If you have a "go with the flow" mentality it makes the conversation much more attractive. I have only recently tried this although if she displays interest and is obviously into you, whether it's a 50/50 or a "Yes", frame it so she starts to seduce you after some time. Works wonders

[–]omega_dawg93 4 points5 points  (1 child)

point 5 is waaaay more than being a good listener. women speak a different language altogether, and many guys miss-out when she's giving signals, either verbally or thru body language.

it's an art... and it's hard to decipher if you're not aware. thing is... most times, when it comes to body language, they don't know they're doing it themselves.

[–]420KUSHBUSH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It appears I've just been pretty perceptive at understanding the sort of thing although not every person is like me so you do have a good point

[–]wildtimes3 1 point2 points  (5 children)

-4. do tell the type of woman and the type of compliment

[–]420KUSHBUSH 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I am keeping that to myself, call me selfish but oh well

[–]wildtimes3 2 points3 points  (3 children)

No worries. A magician can’t show all his secrets.

Can you do a double blind? Change the type and the compliment slightly so we can decipher the effects, without having the script?

[–]420KUSHBUSH 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I'll do you one better and give you the foundation of the house, so to speak, while you get to choose what the house ends up looking like

Look at a person that peacocks in a certain way, then make a somewhat-direct joke teasing them for the way they peacock though subtly hinting you appreciate them for the attribute

[–]_do_not_read_this_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"You've got the biggest ass I've seen in a decade. Nice and round though."

??

[–]wildtimes3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To your last paragraph, I’ve done well if the situation calls for it (usually takes a woman who’s looks define most of how the world interacts with her, so HOTT) by telling her I understand her plight / how being pretty can be a burden.

You can make a game out of it early in approach, by stating a #. 18. Tell them to guess what the number is. Give them on or two guesses and laugh while telling them, no, that is my guess on how many times you’ve been hit on today. If you are aloof, this usually drops their guard a lot.

Beyond approach, letting them know subtly that she’s not the first hottie you’ve dated works well too. Off the top of my head, when talking about beauty and being hit on it, saying something to the effect of, “I bet you get it everywhere you go” also does well in dropping their guard. Usually you’ll get a story about how they got hit on at the gas station or store earlier that day.

[–]_do_not_read_this_ -1 points0 points  (1 child)

All of what you said is what makes it *fun*. If you're not having fun doing this, step aside and let the real men play.

I see too much anger, resentment and confusion on these boards, about things women do that are supposed to be fun.

[–]omega_dawg93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hey everybody... a "real man" is here.

listen up.

[–]blingbladeade 131 points132 points  (30 children)

What if I get a boner in public?

[–][deleted] 178 points179 points  (3 children)

Let it be your compass, to guide you true north.

[–]ChesterRickman 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Then I'll just keep spinning right.

[–]2jbpostv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To the North Pole, fuck it what else is there to do

[–]Thynome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if my dick only shows compass north and I forgot my deviation chart?

[–]TehJoshW 70 points71 points  (2 children)

Tuck it into your waistband like every other male on the planet.

[–]PM_Me_OK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or just wear a banana hammock and whip it out.

[–]BlindingTwilight 1 points1 points [recovered]

If she sees it your getting laid

[–]WalterEArmstrong 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Worse things have been known to happen.

[–]TheDonOfYouTube 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Then you get a boner in public.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 49 points50 points  (3 children)

Make sure to give it maximum exposure, it should poke out like native american Tipi. She will respond to this display of Alpha sexual dominance with immediate submission.

[–]zueman 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Fuck can't tell if this guy is messing around or not

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Try it, report back with field report.

[–]SuperCrazy07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck can’t tell if you are messing around or not.

[–]TFWnoLTR 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Take it out and pull it to one side and release so it flops back and fourth like a spring. Women cant resist such a powerful display of dominance.

[–]redpill77 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is a great test of your frame. You should not be ashamed of your boner. Just don't wave it around or grind it on an unsuspecting girl, make eye contact first.

If someone gawks at it, "Yes, it's an erection. Make a joke about it or ignore it." If you really think about it, there's no reason to be ashamed of having a boner in public, it's just a control tactic to keep unattractive men from grossing people out.

[–]D3athN0te101 12 points13 points  (1 child)

You're a guy. Everybody knows you have a dick.

Trying to hide it is an unconscious expression of shame.

The embarrassment you've been feeling for having a boner is a result of your training.

You've been trained from a young age, just as I and many others have, to be ashamed of your sexuality.

This is just another facet of that.

To put it another way:

As TFM said, feminism is just a grand scaled shit test.

This shame/embarrassment is a shit test, given by our feminist teachers when we were young (think about the attention you got as a teenager when you pitched a tent in school).

The purpose of any shit test, is to weed out the betas.

If, like most men (including myself, once upon a time), you cave into the shaming & covered/tucked your erection, then you've failed the shit test.

The only time you should adjust your erection is for your own comfort.

Take the Red Pill, and stop feeling ashamed of your penis.

[–]mistral88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This looks more like the autism pill what can you expect from someone whose username is deathnotr

[–]ExistentialEnnuii 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If your truly concerned about a boner in public simply hold your breath. Stops the flow and in a few seconds it goes away.

[–]hazelstein 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I got boner during my presentation, and it was ViSiBlE.

[–]Gearski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's alpha, did you get an A?

[–]Illiaan 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Use an erection stopper. It’s a bit unconventional, I know - but it beats getting your Big Kahuna noticed when you don’t expect him to be out.

So, the aforementioned erection stopper: gently lubricate a medium to large tampon (depending on your preference) with coconut oil, as well as yourself. Squat down and insert the tampon into yourself, allowing some of the string to dangle out - just enough for it to comfortably reach under and over your perineum. I recommend you keep your perineum unshaven, by the way, for otherwise the string might chafe after the next step. Firmly grasp the tampon string (taking care not to take it out, if you feel it coming, squeeze) and wrap it around your flaccid meatloaf. Tuck the contraption into your underwear as normal and enjoy your bulge-free day; any erection you might get will be stopped.

It’s saved me many times, hope it serves you.

[–]lxndrskv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy right here's got it.

[–]dking168 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Push it up against her to assert your dominance

[–]Cosmic_Cat64 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Flex another muscle really hard to redirect the blood flow.

[–]Whopper_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flex the adductor muscles on your legs/inner thighs

[–]AnonUser1005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life Pro Tip: In case you get a boner, contract a big muscle of yours, like your thigh muscle or biceps, this will redirect your blood slowly from your penis into these muscles. Works everytime for me.

[–]24FPSNOOB 23 points24 points  (5 children)

I need this. PMO has driven me HOCD and depression. I'm going to quit beating today.

[–]Quo210 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Go cold turkey if you can. As with most addictions that's the best method. (It IS an addiction that the brain biochemically treats as if you were consuming a recreative drug).

Progressive abandonment methods are more prone to relapses.

[–]24FPSNOOB 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Thank you. I also had a drug problem. Been clean 7 months. If I can do that I should be able to do this.

[–]chewis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tricky thing about quitting process addictions like porn/food compared to drugs is even though quitting drugs is more physically challenging, your penis and desire to eat are a part of you. One actually has to 100% alter his relationship with them.

[–]Quo210 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You'll overcome this one too. Treat it as you did the one before

[–]NorthOC 45 points46 points  (9 children)

I call this the Magic Method.

Field report:

Summer 2017. About a year into nofap. Volunteering at a festival. She was about 5'2, nerdy looking, brown eyes, petite, a solid 8/10, also a volunteer. At random intervals we had time to chit chat. And in one of our chats I got a hard on. What triggered my boy to rise was her proximity and her voice tonality (I didn't think about that at the time). This never happened before, however, from the moment that happened, I automatically knew it was on. (logically) So what did I do?

I met her once more randomly in the evening and after a little bit of vibing I said something along the lines of "lets sleep in your tent". I did plan this line delivered it with a casual tone, not implying sexuality whatsoever. She didn't hesitate and said lets do it (if a girl wants to fuck you, she won't bust your chops when you bring up an opportunity for her to seduce you.)

Needless to say, she initiated with a kiss that night and we banged like animals. Later, she asked me how and when I knew she wanted to sleep with me. I just bluntly told her "magic".

After practicing this method a bunch more times, here's my takeaway:

Eye contact will create the sexual vibe and you'll know what to say automatically; Get a boner while talking to the girl and you already have her; no need for kino unless she does it.

The hardest part is actually getting to the point where you can practice this method.

Gotta quit porn and masturbation until you do not get urges to bust a nut anymore. Took me about a year.

[–]Imadejust4this 14 points15 points  (1 child)

hi 5 for another dude who picked up as a festival volunteer lmaoo. those places are fucking goldmines. Hot backpackers and uni students as far as the eye can see.

[–]NorthOC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That part doesn't matter. It's just the first field report where I utilized the strategy OP described

[–]redpill77 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Pretty sure that if you're not being voyeuristic, you will only get a boner if she wants you to.

[–]NorthOC 3 points4 points  (1 child)

What do you mean by voyeuristic? When talking to a girl, think about her body and sexualize it in your mind. This prompts you to switch into a sexual state and, naturally, this will be the frame you'll be operating from. And, by simply being in that frame, she'll fall into it as well.

If you feel like this is wrong or bad, I suggest you remind yourself the biological imperative of every male (hint: spread the seed) and what single criteria men look for in a short-term prospect (hint: she has to be hot).

[–]redpill77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct. If you have eye contact and hold frame you will be fine.

A boner is bad only if you're just staring at a girl and you're trying to hide your attraction.

[–]BitsAndBobs304 1 point2 points  (3 children)

1 year of not jacking off in excghane for one fortuitous sexual encounter?

[–]psychonautalot 13 points14 points  (1 child)

There is way more to it than that.

[–]NorthOC 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If it was for one, I don't think that would be efficient for me to write a wall of text and call it a method

[–]redpill77 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes! I've been picking up on this in the last few months. Words are a stupid way to escalate.

Girls want to feel wanted, not needed. You need to be confident and show some affection.

Whatever you are feeling, she will feel. If you're feeling turned on and you're not hiding it, then she is feeling it too. If you're turned on and she doesn't want that, you will feel her shutting it down. You can have a boner, even.

Don't be ashamed. Hold strong eye contact with a positive vibe. It works almost too well; I'm often having girls ahead of me, impatiently waiting for me to escalate.

[–]neomorphivolatile 38 points39 points  (17 children)

I was just waxing my carrot before I opened up Reddit to this post. How do I get off of PMO?

[–]TheDonOfYouTube 55 points56 points  (3 children)

Step 1: stop. Step 2: done.

As a member of the nofap crew, and a former chronic masturbator (would spend whole days beating off whenever possible), i can confirm that there really is no easy way to quit.

You just have to keep trying to "quit for good", until you eventually wean yourself off of it (the less you watch/beat off, the easier it becomes).

There truly is no force more powerful in seduction than the look in a mans eye when he is in a state of raw, primal lust.

[–]AKnightAlone 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Being a successful weaner makes you a winner.

[–]Biekdafreak 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Being a successful weaner to stop playing with your weiner makes you a winner

[–]_do_not_read_this_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Step 1: stop. Step 2: done.

That's how I quit smoking.

True story.

[–]Lunchabel97 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Lookup “rsdmax nofap.” He really helped me get off porn for good. And no I didn’t just suddenly stop right away, it took a while, it went from everyday to every other day to every week until i just stopped

[–]randtorrs 27 points28 points  (7 children)

A couple of weeks ago, I (25) was lying on the bed naked, next to a girl (who I met on the streets doing daygame) who was literally begging to give it to her. I couldn't stay erect enough for penetration. The girl was sweet enough to understand. It was my first time trying to have sex with a real woman and not some pixels on a screen.

After several attempts at keeping my carrot hard, I gave up and the last 10-12 years of fapping flashed in my head. There I was, a perfectly healthy male not being able to do the most natural thing we were built for. So, that's my _real_ motivation for nofap (soft mode tho). Now, I just use my touch to get off.

I did try nofap previously and managed a streak of 23 days, but I always lacked real motivation. I taught my brain that porn was the only real way to get off. Thankfully, I discovered game/TRP and started approaching women in real life. Now, my brain knows there's a way to game women in real life.

[–]odaklanan_insan 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Did you start getting wet dreams after you stopped fapping? How does your body relax after building so much sexual energy?

I've done everything on TRP so far except no fap. Going to the gym 5 times a week, cold approaching women and reading 30 pages everyday are way easier than that combined.

[–]Nonstopas 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I've done several streaks of 1-3 months, sometimes i just take a week or two off.

It is litterally really hard to do it, but you have to know why you're doing it. The more you're off porn and fapping the more hornier you are. However, some research said that your testosterone drops after 7 days of no-fap, i never felt letargic, i litteraly felt like i want to fuck anyone that is moving. I decided that that state is not healthy to be in, because when you want sex to begin with, and you get none, being constantly horny will make it worse, but i recommend trying it anyway.

Keep yourself busy, if you have the urge to do it, go take a cold shower, meditate, work out or read a book. Replace a bad habit with a good one.

[–]celtiberian666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Going to the gym 5 times a week, cold approaching women and reading 30 pages everyday are way easier than that combined.

If you're doing all that and you're scoring girls and still needs to dump a load or two here and there, do it. Just not too much and don't use porn.

You do things for yourself. After reaching abundance, do anything you want. Sometimes you might prefer a quick fap and a long night of sleep instead of calling a girl over. Just do it.

[–]randtorrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess soft mode allows for healthy masturbation, so you don't have to deal with the pent up energy. I never experienced wet dreams, but I don't see why that would be a problem. That's just your body's way of dealing with the situation.

Hard mode sounds unreasonable, given that you're consistently gaming women and are bound to get into action often.

Right now though, I masturbate just to my touch to increase my longevity in bed, or to previous (real-life) love making memories in case I need a release.

[–]Quo210 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Lmao, this is consistent with medical records. Last time I checked the reason for consultation statistics, most young healthy men are either

  1. Physical traumatism due to work conditions / sports / doing dumb high risk shit

  2. Asking about ED or addictions

Then ED is almost always related to psycological reasons like anxiety, depression or porn. It's sad as hell the amount of young men indoctrinated from young age to consume corporative crafted porn.

At this point I'm convinced one of the main reasons the porn industry has not been tackled harder by governments is the usefulness of keeping so many calm and sad, but functional.

There is nothing in the APA (not to be trusted after this January sadly) or the European psychiatrist associations about negative impacts of masturbation beyond addiction becoming too time consuming, but the patients I've seen/heard/read of that whack too often, even without pornography, are skinny, unmotivated, lazy guys with a complete lack of direction. I do not know which (if) produces the other but I'm sure any study trying to unravel that would be edited or silenced.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Check out the semen retention sub also. So many benefits when you stop PMO and they all lead to making you more attractive to women and more confident.

[–]SeasonedRP 25 points26 points  (1 child)

What the OP is talking about is hard to describe, but if you do it correctly, you'll know it. I was in a meeting yesterday with a woman probably 25 years younger than me. I was sitting relaxed facing her and giving her an amused, confident expression. She was looking at me while speaking about a subject. She meant to say "docs" but said "dicks" and got an absolutely mortified expression on her face as she corrected herself. I knew then that my posture and body language were proper, though in this setting, no way was I going to pursue anything.

[–]BlackTemplar1989 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Excellent fuck report. I mean field report. FIELD report!

[–]PaganButterChurner 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Wow. This is actually a worthwhile post. I see too many that focus on logic of the situation, too much overthinking.. this is exactly what armchair redpillers spend their time on.. fuss over the nitty gritty ... When the fact is, it’s all emotional. 15% logic, 30 % body language and 60% emotional (forgot the exact quote).

When people overthink what to text her, it’s completely missing the point, it is not so much what you say as it is state of mind. One of my personal principle is never text a girl in a moment of weakness / desperation. Always text from a position of power and always carry yourself with strength.

OP that post resonates 100% with me, although My subconscious may have had an inkling of this idea. I would have never articulated it as well as you have and Your post reinforces this natural instinct

[–]fugued 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FR: the other night I got back from a dinner date, then a meetup with my ex GF (she wouldn't fuck me any more but I was jazzed up from trying). I checked on Tinder and had a few Qs from a recent contact. It was 11:15pm, I just said "come meet me for a drink so you can interrogate me." She said, OK 12:15 at xxx. She came ready to roll. We had a fun, flirty 90 mins but I wasn't interested enough to take her home. But the point is, just go for it when you're in the sexualized frame of mind. And she just might go along.

[–]1Aghayden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, appreciate the kind words

[–]weezylane 8 points9 points  (0 children)

People live their lives mostly in a hypnotized state . What you point out, most men and me too, have felt that after a while of being a loser, you just find hot women hot and don't translate that desire into your body language. This disharmony between what your body feels and mind thinks can easily be picked up on by women as they are very sensitive creatures.

[–]darksidessj25 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I remember first learning about eye contact and immediately practiced it on this girl I found that was attractive who worked at this store. She and I began role-playing after a while about traveling somewhere together. Then she asked for my contact info. I was like WTF, did this shit just work? I couldn't believe it. Fast forward to today and I pretty much flirt with every chick I feel attraction for. I've gotten some sexual encounters etc. A lot of it has to do with your physiology as well and how well you are able to handle sexual tension. If I start to get hard I just let it happen cause you know that she is getting wet too cause of state transference. I had a chick go to the bathroom before because of too much sexual tension. Here's what I do to build sexual attraction, Great article man!

  1. Lean on things and take up space which is called locking in.
  2. Stand slightly wider than normal.
  3. Be present in your body.
  4. Have a neutral rapport vocal tonality.
  5. Have a relaxed face
  6. Stand straight (always)
  7. Walk with purpose

[–]zyqkvx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This post is legit. I do what he said here every day every moment, tis key:

My verbal communication with women is actually extremely indirect. In terms of what I say, I show almost no sexual interest, if anything, I show disinterest.

But on an emotional level, there is a clear sexual ‘vibe’, it’s in the eye contact, my vocal tonality, and my overall demeanor.

[–]1yeahmaybe2 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Exuding Sexuality

Best of comments

There truly is no force more powerful in seduction than the look in a mans eye when he is in a state of raw, primal lust.

Women are in tune emotionally, far more than men. Your body language, voice tone and demeanor play far more of a role than the actual content of the words coming out of your mouth. If it's tense, rehearsed and robotic she'll pick up on it. If it's calm, seductive and enticing, she'll pick up on that too. A lot of guys focus so much on what they say, when the value lies in how you say it.

You can talk to a girl about her studies, but if you're eye-fucking her you don't need verbal escalation.

If you do it correctly, you'll know it. I was in a meeting yesterday with a woman probably 25 years younger than me. I was sitting relaxed facing her and giving her an amused, confident expression. She was looking at me while speaking about a subject. She meant to say "docs" but said "dicks" and got an absolutely mortified expression on her face as she corrected herself. I knew then that my posture and body language were proper, though in this setting, no way was I going to pursue anything.

Try to become aware of your own guilt and shame around sexual feelings and primal drive. This is not allowing yourself to be a pervert, this is about fully embracing your nature, which in turn gives its own awards in very unique ways. 

After feminization and blue-pill conditioning, you may become averse to your own sexuality, colleges are full of feminist teachers who shame men's sexuality as predator and speaks as if it should be subdued. We are getting affected by it even if we don't like to admit it, this is subconscious work. Also thanks to feminized, beta blue-pilled men's sexuality shaming groups and people.

Nowadays everyone around you will try to make you believe things like, you shouldn't check women if she doesn't want you to or touch them. But again as in everything, context, intention, comfort level and the vibe matters. As long as you don't make someone uncomfortable no one has the right to keep your eyes or feelings from something that lights up the very urges that create Life.

Girls can usually sense when guys are "thirsty" and usually get turned off by it. Thirst usually has a connection with desperation and lack of abundance mentality. A lot of people genuinely agree when talking with females, don't be thirsty and they will want you. Lust is something natural. She'll love it if she perceives you as high SMV and respond well to it. Else she will find it creepy. So do launch subtle hints that you wanna fuck her as a litmus test and get out of there if she does not respond well to it. 

Allow yourself to feel lust, but have non-needy mentalities grounding you. Just cause you're attracted to a girl doesn't mean you're thirsty. And yeah of course don't talk to them like all you want is to fuck them, they're human and you'd be limiting the awesomeness of the interaction (for both you and her) by only thinking about sex. But there's no need to suppress your lust or prevent sexual tension from building. She's gonna know you wanna fuck her, and it'd be pretty weird if you acted like you didn't wanna fuck her.

This sort of in-the-moment mentality of feeling and building sexual tension works well, don't be thinking the whole time "I wanna fuck this girl", but allow yourself to feel sexual tension as it rise and falls over time, until the moment when we were back at my place, sitting next to each other, then slowly getting closer, slowly cuddling more, then kissing, then groping, then taking clothes off, etc. In the present moment the whole time, and not putting any filters on my sexuality.

Just remember to start enjoying yourself. Paying attention to the interplay of light and shadow in the environment, natural but firm eye contact & gestures, overall getting a real feel for the environment and mood; these are important and need nothing but natural sensual attentiveness. We should be remembering to slow down and enjoy sensuousness and passions of daily life.

15% logic, 30 % body language and 60% emotion.​

Don't overthink what to say, it is not so much what you say as it is state of mind.

What you say really doesn't matter to women. you could be talking about the weather and the rain... and if she's into your body language, tone, and cadence, it will turn her on. You need to be smooth & methodical... not nervous & tense.

  1. When talking about something like the weather, say how "wet" it is... how sticky & humid it is, etc. but know that when you make eye contact during these times is crucial. "the atmosphere is so wet and with this humidity, it's so warm and sticky," while looking into the ground does NOTHING vs looking right between her eyes then glancing head to toe while saying it.

  2. Talk to ALL women you meet as if you've already fucked them. This takes away any nervous feelings, makes you seem less desperate/eager, sets a subconscious "abundance mentality" frame and gets her moist thru mystery. Break eye contact when she's talking and halfway ignore what she's saying while looking her in the eye... smirk a little if you have to. Do this when she's going on & on about how wonderful she is. Act like you've been there and pretty women are the norm for you. This makes her want to impress you.

  3. Do not put her on a pedestal because she's cute. Never compliment women you're not fucking, don't let all that war paint and tight fitting clothing blur your "vision" Let all the other guys tell her she's looking good when she's intentionally trying hard to look good. I usually say, "nice hairstyle" as I walk up to women I know just left the gym or didn't doll themselves up to go to Walmart. Give a small compliment when she's NOT trying to impress the crowd.

  4. The hardest one. learn the language of women, esp. younger women, they're socially mindful of their status and reputation so they won't be overt with what they want. They won't say, "come over... i want some dick," but will instead say, "can you stop by... I'd like to talk to you... just want to be "around you" for a little while." The words "around you" are the key. They may use a phrase such as “We need to spend some time together” With older women, it may be different. MILFS & GILFS have played those games already... usually have no time for covert talk and say, "you busy tonight? if not...I need dick oh, and I have to go to work early tomorrow, so don't plan on sleeping over for morning fun."

As men, we are too caught up with "getting it done" and don't take the time to give women the little story they need to feel good about LETTING YOU SEDUCE THEM. They WANT to be seduced and be "swept off their feet," but they do not want to tell or show you how to do it, they want you to already know the game and they need you to get into that mode. Give them that time/story within reason and act like it's your regular MO: you're not phased, or amazed by her beauty or booty... don't need her pussy... and can/will walk off if she doesn't fall into a submissive and welcoming disposition.

Girls want to feel wanted, not needed. You need to be confident and show some attention and interest.

Whatever you are feeling, she will feel. If you're feeling turned on and you're not hiding it, then she is feeling it too. If you're turned on and she doesn't want that, you will feel her shutting it down.  Don't be ashamed. Hold strong eye contact with a positive vibe. It works almost too well; I'm often having girls ahead of me, impatiently waiting for me to escalate.

I've envisioned every sexual thing I could possibly do to any attractive woman who was in my proximity. She's talking to me? I'm thinking about how her lips would look wrapped around my dick. She's bending over in a low-cut shirt? I'm imagining titty-fucking her. She's bent over away from me? I'm imagining banging her doggystyle with my thumb up her asshole. She and I are flirting? I'm staring deeply into her eyes, glancing down at her lips, and letting her know through body language that I'm imagining kissing her. Meanwhile, my dick's growing in my pants, and the precum is beginning to well up.

Those feelings and those mental images are the natural state of man. Any kind of shame you feel at all the crude and nasty things you want to do to women is going to hold you back when an actual woman wants you to do them to her. 

[–]JoRocKStaR 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Masterful write up. Giving up porn and no fapping has got me so comfortable in the tension I get turned on just by being in the presence of a woman.

[–]ethical_pa 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This is one of the best posts I've read on this sub and mirrors almost exactly my thoughts on the subject. I don't have much to add, but thought I'd mention this. It's uncanny... perhaps these ideas form from actual experience cold approaching women in a daygame scenario?

What I would add in reference to the porn thing:

There is also an empowering aspect to it. You have to realize that porn is a private, shameful act for most people. By extension, most guys who jack off to porn also hold the public face of a guy who would always respect women, find a woman who has a great personality and not just looks, etc. Basically white knighting. All these guys though... they don't jack off to porn with actresses that are only 25+ (or 30+ if they are older, whatever the "acceptable" age is). They don't ensure that the actress aren't caught up in sex trafficking, etc... Essentially, their public face is all bullshit. They white knight, but at the end of the day, they jack off to a little girl (likely exploited in some way) getting fucked by some sleaze bag.

If you as a man own up to your sexuality and accept that you view women in a sexual nature, it can be very empowering. You're not jacking off like a little weasel behind closed doors to hot girls 18-25. You are out there actually engaging, dating, conversing with, and having sex with CONSENTING girls 18-25.

[–]1Aghayden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting thoughts, thanks for the response man.

[–]MisterNotKnowItAll 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Great post Avery. I noticed with my recent failures that I was never really enjoying myself on the date. I’m not in touch with my sexual side, exactly like you described. For now, I’ll just have to consciously force it til it becomes natural.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Personal opinion, don't force yourself to do shit. Just remember to start enjoying yourself again. Paying attention to the interplay of light and shadow (literal) in the environment, natural but firm eye contact & gestures, overall getting a real feel for the environment and mood; these are important and need nothing but natural sensual attentiveness.

Hell, even beyond women, we should be remembering to slow down and enjoy sensousness and the passions of daily life. And personally I could do better, as I find living in an urban environment can dull the senses. But hey, we're all working on something here.

[–]Trenned_out 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I've went through this recently too. I realized it's because none of the women I was going on dates with really inspired that desire in me. Sure the burden of performance is on us as men, but we too often put the entire experience on our shoulders. If a woman isn't turning you on, helping create that desire and sexual energy you use to seduce her, don't entirely blame yourself.

[–]MisterNotKnowItAll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point. I’m in the habit of finding girls that meet my minimum standards because my game is lackluster. But it can be counterintuitive if they don’t turn you on, since really wanting to fuck them seems create attraction for them.

[–]bright-morningstar 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Everyone needs to read this post and try to become aware of their own guilt and shame around sexual feelings and primal drive. This is not allowing yourself to be a pervert, this is about fully embracing your nature, which in turn gives its own awards in very unique ways. When I had this sexual subtle desire for a woman even I had shit game yet I would at least get somethings done. After feminization and more blue-pill conditioning, at some point in my life I became averse to my own sexuality, the colleges are full of feminist teachers who shame men's sexuality as predator and speaks as it should be subdued. We are getting affected by it even if we don't like to admit it, this is subconscious work. Also thanks to No-Fap like feminized, beta blue-pilled men's sexuality shaming groups and people.

Nowadays everyone around you will try to make you believe into things like, you shouldn't check women if she doesn't want you to kind of stuff or touch them. But again at everything, context, intention, comfort level and the vibe matters, so these words nothing but bullshit. As long as you feel you don't make someone uncomfortable no one has the right to keep your eyes or feelings off from something that lights up the very urges that creates Life.

[–]zhadyx 6 points7 points  (4 children)

20 y/o male lurker here, although I don't necessarily apply TRP in daily interactions because I personally believe that something natural shouldn't be so complicated , I agree with some of its philosophies and respect on how they gathered everything down to a science.

This was an interesting read OP, however I read before about how girl's can sense "thirst".

"Desire is contagious, if you feel it, the girl will feel it. And that underlying sexual feeling is the spark that makes seduction possible. "

Your point states that you should have emit sexual energy with the female which will hopefully emulate with her and she will vibe back.

However -

[Counter Argument #1] - The counter argument states that girls can usually sense when girls are "thirsty" and usually get turned off by it. Thirst usually has a connection with desperation and lack of abundance mentality. Alot of people genuinely agree when talking with females, don't be thirsty and they will want you.

[Counter Argument #2]- There was a post on this subreddit not too long ago stating when going out and talking to girls, don't talk to them like you would want to fuck them. Speak to them as if you genuinely want to have fun. They will see that you aren't just there to fuck and will want to spend more time with you.

I agree with your argument, however the counter arguments seems plausible too and contradicts with yours. I understand the difference between thirst and just sexually vibing with females, but can you elaborate further on what's exactly the difference, and can you give some feedback on your thoughts of the matter as a whole.

[–]flipwater 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Personally I'd sum it up as, allow yourself to feel lust, but have non-needy mentalities grounding you. Just cause you're attracted to a girl doesn't mean you're thirsty.

And yeah of course don't talk to them like all you want is to fuck them, they're human and you'd be limiting the awesomeness of the interaction (for both you and her) by only thinking about sex. But there's no need to suppress your lust or prevent sexual tension from building. She's gonna know you wanna fuck her when you take your dick out, and it'd be pretty weird if up until that point you acted like you didn't wanna fuck her.

I'm still fairly new to seduction, but this sort of in-the-moment mentality of feeling and building sexual tension worked well for me a few weeks ago with a couple girls I ended up hooking up with. I wasn't thinking the whole time "I wanna fuck this girl", but I was allowing myself to feel sexual tension as it rose and fell over time, until the moment when we were back at my place, sitting next to each other, then slowly getting closer, slowly cuddling more, then kissing, then groping, then taking clothes off, etc. In the present moment the whole time, and not putting any filters on my sexuality.

[–]maverick9759 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Here's the bottom line. Lust is something natural. She'll love it if she perceives you as high SMV and respond well to it. Else she will find it creepy. So do launch subtle hints that you wanna fuck her as a litmus test and get out of there if she does not respond well to it. It will save your time.

[–]JoRocKStaR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having desire and being thirsty are 2 different things. There’s more emotions behind “desire.” It requires you to be in your body.

[–]StoicTrader1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"In dating, your primary focus should be on the emotions you’re making women experience, and the easiest place to start is with yourself: any feeling you experience will spread to others around you, sexual attraction is no exception."

gold

[–]2jbpostv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Outstanding post. Many men, myself included, are afraid to open up and exude their sexual energy because if they get rejected it strikes them in a state of such vulnerability. Then, its not your height, clothes, looks, money etc its the idea of sexual engagement with you that turns her off. Direct hit. Nothing hurts more than a rejection inflicted on a man present and intoxicated by that magical lustful energy field between you as a close draws near. Don't avoid this. Its worth it for when it works. Sometimes I look back and even feel my kino was correct, well timed but sexually disengaged. Even guys who have good experience generating sexual energy, especially dark sexual energy, become afraid of pushing a barrier or facing a test that throws it off.

[–]AlaskanCalifornian 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Very high quality content! Glad to see a post like this, it resonates well for sure.

[–]mrbasic- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm definitely saving this and will read/apply this on a daily basis. Invaluable information, fam 🙏🏾

[–]Skeeter_onmyPeter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, I can’t think of a single time I've ever gotten laid where I felt “raw lust”. Every time I’ve ever gotten laid, I’ve given just little enough of a damn that I was able to properly calibrate the situation to go down. That’s not to say that none of them were worthy of lust, but I just wasn’t that invested for whatever reason. Now the times that I have felt raw lust and gone for it, I have crashed and burned every time, without exception. It’s hard to maintain that Game 7 focus in that condition.

[–]Minopo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. Exactly on point.

Embrace yourself the world and everything will follow.

[–]1New_Guard -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

WTF OP, are you for real? You must be in your teens or early 20s and of the generation that's been raised with all the ridiculous "men are latent rapists" and "objectification is misogyny" narratives. I'm in my 30s, and for my entire self-aware life, I've envisioned every sexual thing I could possibly do to any attractive woman who was in my proximity. She's talking to me? I'm thinking about how her lips would look wrapped around my dick. She's bending over in a low-cut shirt? I'm imagining titty-fucking her. She's bent over away from me? I'm imagining banging her doggystyle with my thumb up her asshole. She and I are flirting? I'm staring deeply into her eyes, glancing down at her lips, and letting her know through body language that I'm imagining kissing her. Meanwhile, my dick's growing in my pants, and the precum is beginning to well up.

Does that all seem crude to you? If so, you've got a lot of unlearning of social programming to do, because those feelings and those mental images are the natural state of man. Any kind of shame you feel at all the crude and nasty things you want to do to women is going to hold you back when an actual woman wants you to do them to her. And that's going to give me the advantage when she needs a man to treat her like a plaything.

Side note: I guess the psychological milieu of iGen may actually be fundamentally different from mine as an older millennial, but I think porn helps me stay thinking of things in a sexual manner throughout the day, and makes me better able to mentally undress everyday girls and imagine the depraved things I would get them to do. I'd argue that your negative response to porn and masturbation is a result of the internalized misandry and shame you've absorbed from the dominant feminine narrative. Do what you need to make your dick work though I suppose...

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