People do not want you to become Alpha

SassyVelociraptor · 2014-10-17T20:47:43+00:00

Improving yourself forces others to examine their own inadequacy.

Nobody wants to do that so they stifle your growth.

Position5hero · 2014-10-17T20:35:10+00:00

Women don't like the idea of someone becoming an alpha male.

For them, it's genetics- the idea of wanting the seed of someone that was at some point in their life prior deemed unworthy, disgusts them, makes them feel stupid, like they can be tricked.

To draw a parallel, it's the same as how men sometimes feel tricked/taken advantage of when the girl they thought was a 9 last night with full makeup wakes up next to them in the morning and they realize she's a 5 with no makeup.

humankin · 2014-10-17T20:55:43+00:00

I feel you OP. I've learned that, ironically enough, you can't rely on the people who love you to encourage you to change the way you are. If they really care about you they will be predisposed to point out where your plan of action could fail, because at the end of the day: they don't want you taking risks. The people who love you the most will always steer you towards the least risky path.

Example A: You're an overweight smoker. Your parents will encourage you to eat better and quit smoking to combat the health risks of your current state.

Example B: You are healthy, of average weight, but unfit. Your parents will encourage you to stay the way you are because with a lifting/fitness lifestyle you are more likely to injure yourself than your current mediocre state.

Or that you will get a meathead look that will keep the best quality mates away. Or any stupid reason they can pull out of their asses because “if it ain't broke don't fix it.” The reasoning behind that line of thinking is that making ANY alteration is going to come with a degree of risk, so only do it when its absolutely necessary. People, even the ones who care about you, won't ever see an enhancement as necessary.

edit: typos

markasstrick123 · 2014-10-17T21:12:35+00:00

This is true. Unless you have an alpha father (you probably don't), he's going to swoleshame you. Same goes for family, friends, and peers. They can't seeing women checking you out and flirting with you more than they do to them. Haters are a good sign.

Check out bobby maximus on twitter. He works at gymjones (the guys who helped the 300, repo men, man of steel, immortals actors get into shape). Look at all of his pictures. He's what we all should strive to be like. The guy is alpha as fuck. The guy can cycle 2 miles in 10 minutes, do 838 dips in an hour, rack pull over 600#, etc... look at pictures of his kid, we are all extremely jealous of him. The kid was doing planks at the age of one and he's got him cussing at people at age 5. The kids going to be an absolute beast. Having a father who is an athlete must be nice!

TekkomanKingz · 2014-10-17T21:19:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

markasstrick123 · 2014-10-17T20:57:07+00:00

Nothing wrong with getting big. Get as big as you want.

But if your objective is to maximize your attraction, you also need to be proportional. You can be big AND proportional, but it's hard.

People idealize different proportional standards. I prefer the Greek proportional ideal (and I believe most women do too).

AfterC · 2014-10-17T20:20:09+00:00

Redpill is about not believing what you're told.

GeneralDoli · 2014-10-18T00:17:33+00:00

Tell them you're planning on going to prison and want to bulk up before you go in, let them flip the fuck out wondering why.

Goldfulgore · 2014-10-17T23:45:54+00:00

Ignore everyone.

I went your path and I can tell you my mom was full of shit.

Women have no valid opinions, they just say what they feel.

You friends are beta, ignore them.

G_Star · 2014-10-18T03:43:28+00:00

You're totally right. If you're anxious, depressed, shy, small, etc., people want you to remain that way for the rest of your life because it's more beneficial to them. Your friends want you to remain the pussy because that's how you fit in to their community. If you change yourself at all, the entire community changes. You could end up taking their women and sacrificing their genes in the process. Your mom doesn't want you to change either. You've been placed in the beta role for a reason. You're supposed to get resources for the family so alphas can get busy fucking bitches and doing important shit. It's more beneficial to her to keep you down. You're supposed to be making 40 grand a year in a shitty job you hate with a fat wife that fucks you twice a year. It's literally her instinct to help create this reality for you. Try not to let it affect your opinion of her.

If you want to make it to the top, you have to deal with all this shit. They will test you to no end, maybe for the rest of your life, who knows. So make choices for yourself and listen to no one until you know you can trust them.

IVIaskerade · 2014-10-17T20:45:02+00:00

Fuck even my mom "don't get that big its unattractive and smart girls don't like that"

The best response to that is "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to not look for smart girls."

2014-10-17T21:36:24+00:00

"Your Friends will want you to do good, but not better then them".

oldredder · 2014-10-17T23:25:44+00:00

We've all got some alpha in us by default. We're the descendants of millions of years of natural selection. We made it this far for a reason. Being alpha is a choice. Lift and become the man you really are and need to be.

Adolf_ghandi · 2014-10-18T00:30:24+00:00

smart girls don't like that

Because men care about a woman's intelligence since stone age. /s

varisforge · 2014-10-18T01:46:58+00:00

Smart girls stop thinking when the tingles take over. We are all animals at some level. Make yourself the best goddamn animal you can be and then be the natural you on top of that.

vengefully_yours · 2014-10-18T00:39:45+00:00

You can get too big, but the work required to get there is beyond most men, they simply don't have the time. You won't end up too big unless something extraordinary happens, or you juice. So go lift, because what follows is a warning, not something to aspire to.

Also it's not about size, it's about symmetry and definition. I have a big chest, thick neck, big arms, and my legs are bigger than non obese waists, but my symmetry is fucked. I didn't get it in the gym, I got the mass from being worked almost to death for an entire year, and driven to exhaustion every day for the first five months.

The chances of this happening to you are pretty much nil. I am an outlier, way out on the bell curve, and it is due to an extremely physical job in the military during a war. The only way most will get to my size or bigger, is with roids. It destroyed my knees, shoulders, and elbows. It's not a good way to go about it. I had no choice. They worked me harder because I could do more, and they thought I was lazy because I was very efficient.

p5ych0naut · 2014-10-18T12:13:27+00:00

I think you're full of shit. are you bodybuilding and lifting for your benefit, or for theirs? If you are only bodybuilding because you think "girls will like me if I do" then you are still a big fucking beta. people who say "be yourself and girls will come" are actually right. it should be as easy for you to get laid as a fat slob as it is being a beefcake. THAT'S fucking alpha.

in fact, if you get all muscled-out you are more likely to look like a complete fucking tool and douchebag, rather than someone who is alpha. People who are overly concerned with their looks aren't masculine, they are a little pansy bitches. in fact, the future I foresee for you is this: you are going to work superhard building up your body and will do little to no work on your social interaction or the way you handle conflict. Eventually your body will make you feel more confident, and you will go out trying to score. Then, due to your complete lack of psychological alpha-ness, you are going to continue to strike out. A few months will pass like this, and in a year you will be just as lonely and depressed, only now you are going to be completely mindfucked because you will really not understand why you can't get laid. you would think to yourself, "I put all this effort into my body, and people still don't like me!" you'll probably swear women off entirely, claiming that they are just illogical, stupid creatures, and that there is no point in wasting any time on them. You'll start hitting on men, but they too will realize what a fucking beta you are, so really, nothing you do will work. your only hope is changing your own expectations of how other people should act, and changing the way you REact when you think you can use that reaction to mold other people's behaviors.

seriously, it's people like you that give TRP and men'srights a bad name. You think being alpha is about displaying some kind of image to the world. You think it's about manipulation, and being disingenuous. You think it's about being inhumane, about discounting peoples feelings. That, if you just act a certain way, you will get everything you want. Being alpha has nothing to do with how you treat other people. It has to do with how you view life, how you choose to behave, how you choose to interpret things, and how you pick yourself up and continue fighting after failure. Ultimately, it's about being true to your self and to the fiber of your being, and not letting your disappointment with how people react to that, change the way you think, feel, and act.

now, I'm sure a lot of people might post back, "I tried that and it doesn't work!" Well I'm sorry to inform you, but human beings are an incredibly varied species. Just because you tried being yourself and were unable to get laid, doesn't mean there aren't a whole host of women out there who like your personality type, and are just waiting for someone like you to come sweep them off their feet. People like this would fare far better in their game if instead of trying to change yourselves to fit what they expect women want, they instead expanded their pool of potential mates. far too often, they strike out a handful of times with women who are, more or less, the same, (because they go to the same school, hang out in the same social circles, grew up in the same place, or whatever), and assume that since all of their experience with women indicate that women are one way, that all women, the world over, must be that way.

seriously, guys who find it difficult to get laid: GO OUT MORE. HANG OUT WITH DIFFERENT GROUPS OF PEOPLE. IF YOU FAIL, DONT CHANGE YOURSELF (unless that's what YOU want), CHANGE YOUR SAMPLE SIZE! (and if worse comes to worse, try moving to a different city, a different state, or even a different country. Hell, even visiting a foreign country can increase your chances for getting laid. Awkwardness and uncomfortability tend to disappear with a language barrier. in fact, everyone I have ever known who tried to get laid in a foreign country succeeded! I mean, here in America, our girls swoon and fall for foreigners all the time. Look at how much they love British accents!

Anyways, dude, the takeaway is this: don't bother beefing yourself up unless that makes you feel good. Beefing up "to get laid" is a laughably stupid plan. All you need to do is stop trying to manipulate your way into girls pants, expand your social circles, and stop getting discouraged from trying to get laid just because you've failed so far.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2014-10-17T23:22:02+00:00

I once heard the "crab in the bucket" phenomenon explained like this: people don't like it when you change because as you change, the old ways in which they could manipulate you work less effectively.

The more manipulative and narcissistic people are, the less they will want you to change at all.

RedPill115 · 2014-10-17T21:38:24+00:00

I suppose I'll get downvoted for this, but take a minute and look around at the most attractive girls you know, and who they're dating / sleeping with. It's easier to figure out who they're dating, but if you're part of a group you'll figure out both.

What physical characteristics do those guys have? In my experience:

Physical Things They Do Have:
- Not fat
- Skinny, or the "6 pack" look where they have muscles but not overly huge muscles

Physical Things They Don't Have:
- Very Strong, but kinda fat
- Huge absurdly huge muscles

The lifting crowd will try to convince you that there's no limit, but watch reality and there is. You're better off being overly ripped than being fat, but the ideal body type is somewhere between skinny and well defined.

I've seen people try to shame people with "don't get that big" when they're just being a pain in the ass about you actually being in shape to. But like it or not, there is a point where having more visible muscle seems to reduce your SMV. Just look around sometime at bodybuilders girlfriends - in my experience, if you see a really ripped guy he's usually dating an average looking girl.

2014-10-17T22:37:31+00:00

I hear you man. I've been unplugged for over a year (I'm in my mid forties), and what I've also noticed are some major huge fights with people close to me, as in related to me. I'm talking loud voices and lots of f bombs. Every one of them has been about me essentially telling them I'm not putting up with this lack of respect any more. Or if female, telling them I'm done with them unless they cut out the bullshit disrespect act. I'm not literally standing there saying "stop disrespecting me", but you get the idea.

I agree, people want to keep you in your place. I guess it's just like a pack of animals, you are rising in the pecking order, and other animals don't like it. So the first attempt by you to rise higher, gets met with an over-reaction attempted slap down. I've learned to expect it now, and give back more than I get. Mostly it's about being ready to end the relationship unless they accept you.

Locastor · 2014-10-17T23:42:41+00:00

The general public's cluelessness about muscular hypertrophy is a source of unending comedy. You'll need some serious gear to "get big".

2014-10-17T23:14:02+00:00

thats a good beginner attitude dude, but just make sure lifting doesnt revolve around validation because even though youre getting more attractive, it doesnt mean that sloots will trip and fall on your dick. This is only the beginning brah

keep up the no bullshit attitude :)

*oh and losing the virginity isnt a huge deal anyways just get lose it to a prostitute and see how its overrated.

TheCarm · 2014-10-18T04:45:09+00:00

hell yea im on Arnold's Blueprint right now, and its amazing!!! highly recommend

2014-10-17T21:18:29+00:00

Those same people will either be gone from your life in a year, or be telling you how much better you look/act.

2014-10-17T23:20:02+00:00

Women in particular want men who already are, not realizing most of them had to be made (by themselves) for that to happen.

HaveSomeChicken · 2014-10-17T23:55:57+00:00

Keep in mind that while bodybuilding and getting jacked is good for self-esteem and attitude, some intellectual activities would also benefit.

Read as much as you can. Learn as much as you can. Work out as much as you can. Eat as much as you can. Build social relations as much as you can. Do that, and you will always have an edge and will succeed in life.

RedPillSafe · 2014-10-18T01:02:53+00:00

I don't get it...

Why are you still a virgin?

Probably the better question is:

How much will your appearance matter AFTER you get your first sex?

Studies show that moderate muscle is "as good as it gets" for natural SMV and then your "game" (social abilities) will be the thing that increases your SMV above that.

So basically you have:

Medium muscle build equals maximum natural SMV.
Social skills (game) either adds or subtracts from SMV.

...just don't focus entirely on your appearance.

There are naturally tall and good looking (muscular) guys with no game that don't get women.

2014-10-18T02:07:50+00:00

I have started rigorous self improvement. I can see my abs come in. I do a sport involving pulling my weight literally. (Swimming). I do not do lifting I do bodyweightfitness. It has changed my life for the better. I am happier, more confident, and I no longer take shit from people.

OC_maybe · 2014-10-18T02:15:03+00:00

Please listen to this objectively. Being alpha does not mean being bigger and more aggressive, or being so self-assured that you can't discern the advice of those who truly care about you from those who are just jealous or want to boost themselves up through comparison. Its about being a leader of the pack, being the best version of yourself that makes people want to emulate their lives after the way that you live your life. If you want me to break it down for ya its this, Work out because why the fuck not be attractive energetic confident etc. but don't think that you are an alpha because you are big, you'll just become a beta that no one likes.

edit: phrasing

SlipperyGrappler · 2014-10-18T03:01:01+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

2014-10-18T03:34:46+00:00

True, I recently got an amazing potential job oppurtunity that is going to require me to move across the US. The amount of people that don't want me to make such an amazing leap is quite amazing. The Redpill really shows you that everyone truly is in it for themselves first.

zerooneb166er · 2014-10-18T05:52:17+00:00

Women are very averse to what they think is not genuine in a man. When you decide to improve yourself, she sees an incongruence between who you were and who you are trying to be. She is afraid of this, and there are a lot of good reasons for it.

1) If you are incongruent (which you are not, but this is how everyone will see it), then you are perceived to be dishonest. For a woman, this triggers her greatest fears about men. In her eyes you could hurt her or take advantage of her.

2) If you are not predictable, she can't make accurate calculations on your future behavior. This means she can't keep you in a little box and control you. Again, you are a threat. It's true that powerful and high value people are like this too, but you didn't start in a high value 'box'. You were in a low value box, and now you are coloring outside the lines. You are rebelling against the system, her system.

So continue to better yourself. My best advice is to read as much as you work out. The people who feel threatened by you will fall away, and will be replaced by people who get it just like you do.

OnlySubsILike · 2014-10-18T06:52:55+00:00

I'm all for getting in shape and healthy and ripped and all, but I my opinion is that this sub constantly just says "get as huge as you can for the sake of it" and nothing else is acceptable. Maybe you're just really into swimming, triathlons, climbing, and other activities in which just "getting big" isn't productive. If you're short and you just pack muscle with no aim you end up just looking like gimli from lord of the rings. If that's what you want so be it, but seriously this sub is all about doing what makes you the best you you can be - EXCEPT when it comes to shit like this.

Aphoc · 2014-10-18T08:03:29+00:00

"you don't need to get big, just be yourself and girls will come."

is like saying

"you don't need an education, your mother will always love you."

masturbator9000 · 2014-10-18T17:35:17+00:00

I agree. There's a lot of people that are going to give you shit for bettering yourself, and that's usually when you find out who your true friends are. The ones that start making sarcastic remarks meant seriously about strength, your physique, your wealth - those are not your true friends. They hate that you're exceeding expectations and hate being surpassed.

Been lifting for almost a decade and everyone kept giving me shit for it at first. It starts with your parents telling you that you'll stop growing and mess up your back (ironically, at that point I was already one foot taller than both my parents). Women's reactions are the best though. "Don't get to big, masturbator9000. It won't look good". Fast forward a year and a few pounds of muscle on the scale - she creams her pants even more for you. Repeat every year.

They hate it because they fear you'll advance to the next league. Ignore them, do it anyway. Don't take it personal because you probably have areas in your life where you hate it too that someone else is advancing and leaving you behind.

PolishHammerMK · 2014-10-18T18:06:17+00:00

Yeah the people you know suck.

They've all been brainwashed with that shit, don't let them get you down, you're doing great.

Keep up the good work.

Transmigratory · 2014-10-18T18:38:09+00:00

I noticed this too. More profoundly with two of my closest friends actually; one male and one female.

Male: he'll casually try to downplay alpha shit. Beta me would've complied, but RoA* me just shuts him down. You can see his beta hamster trying hard to "prove me wrong". Note: he's beta as fuck, too pussy to make moves with women he's interested in. Rationalises that my success is due to physical differences. Which IMO is bull as one of the most alpha guys I know doesn't have the physical gifts (height) that a school of RP thought idolises.

The female: believes I'm being an arsehole. Though upon hearing my conquests and other bits (i.e. me establishing frame) now she's all over me. But it conflicts with her disapproval. Though she's better than the guy, actually, because she's kind of more RP. Sorta but not quite.

*RoA=Road to Alpha... I decided to make "Alpha" an end goal, vaguely defined so I can always keep up the self development.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-10-19T02:53:49+00:00

Rollo talks about the crabs in the barrel who prevent the enterprising crab from escaping by dragging him back.

Don't get dragged back.

I do agree that you don't necessarily want to look like a freackish body builder. At some point when you are healthy and in the top 5% of men in terms of muscles, abs, and build then you quickly reach a point of diminishing returns. Your efforts in the gym would be better spent reading, working on a new skill or any number of activities once you get to that point.

trway14 · 2014-10-17T22:14:45+00:00

A woman does want you to become an alpha, but her genes and tingles make her feel that you're not a real alpha if she had to help. It only counts when you achieve despite all the bullshit that's thrown at you. Her subconscious wants to know: are you confident enough in your understanding of the world, and of women, that you know what she wants and needs better than she does herself?

In other words, women want to see you being strong and charming because that's who you really are, not because you're playing a character. It only generates tingles if it seems genuine, because only then does it say something about your genes.

For a very detailed discussion, see /r/TheRedPill/comments/2ct2sb/arch_feminist_tracy_clarkflory_cant_stand_that/cjixsgs

2014-10-17T22:08:29+00:00

They are right.. You don't need to get big.. Getting ripped is where it's at.. Soon as the veins starting popping out on the arms I noticed a huge difference from the girls, even compared to when I used to be bigger

Mudmen12 · 2014-10-17T22:32:26+00:00

how big do you plan on getting

draketton · 2014-10-17T23:33:17+00:00

Cypher mode is a real thing.

Some people are extremely immersed in, or indebted to, social and professional circles that want them to remain blue pill.

They can learn RP lifestyle from the internet or from their upbringing, gain a realistic understanding of the benefits of living life that way, and still consciously reject it because they need the support of these people who want them to remain blue pill.

rlh1271 · 2014-10-17T23:42:45+00:00

True but people have serious misconceptions about lifting in general. Hell look at what the girls themselves say. "I don't want to lift weights because I don't want to get big." People think weightlifting = arnold sized motherfluffer. It's not at all easy to become body-builder sized. It takes years of dedication, commitment, proper diet and an adamant sleep schedule. Not to mention the know-how of proper lifts, macros etc. It's possible when you say you want to get big, they misconstrue that into: "I want to get to body-builder level in 6 months time."

bama79rolltide · 2014-10-18T00:17:08+00:00

Lift until it hurts. Then do one more set.

2014-10-18T01:16:45+00:00

Fuck the haters, lift on bro

Xstinaballerina · 2014-10-18T01:19:32+00:00

I think you're reading too much into this. I know a body builder who is still very much a Beta male. The confidence aspect is everything, however. The thing is, a lot of girls do find too big unattractive. There are girls who love it, too. Just do what you are doing for yourself, and no one else- that in itself is more Alpha anyway.

Subtletorious · 2014-10-18T01:52:42+00:00

But again the standard has shifted. Once slut meant any woman who had sex before marriage, now it means a partner count greater than 100.

The label is influential but no longer powerful, and women are masters at hamstering.

johnbranflake · 2014-10-18T01:55:18+00:00

People told me the same shit, 50lbs later and those same people compliment my gains.

hamstercide · 2014-10-18T02:08:48+00:00

I've had the same happen to me. I've had people question my habit of working out and athleticism, my heroes (e.g. Elliot Hulse), my attitude towards cutting out all kinds of bad things, and other things I would rather not spend my time remembering. Keep forging ahead, maintain your resolve and cut out the toxicity from your life in any way you can. New people you meet will appreciate you. For whatever reason individuals of low character will try to keep you down, but in doing so they will reveal themselves for who they are. I've had the misfortune of being stuck in close proximity with a lot of these kinds of people (my roommate), the most important thing is [b]ignore them and don't take what they say to heart[/b]. If you attach yourself emotionally to them you will play into their sadism and only end up hurting yourself while giving them the higher position over you. Good luck!

"don't get that big its unattractive and smart girls don't like that"

Yeah ok mom. Because it's that easy to accidentally get too big. One time I woke up with a body like Schwarzenegger's and though "oh shit, I might have lifted a bit too much last time in the gym, better tone it down a bit".

spartan1337 · 2014-10-18T02:39:39+00:00

It should be common knowledge that girls dont like veiny roided up monsters, they prefer the ottermode, skinny but toned look, brad pitt in fight club, so if youre lifting for grills youre doing it wrong.

oldredder · 2014-10-18T03:29:51+00:00

Special exception: in a leaderless vacuum people will demand an alpha leader even from one unsuitable to do so if everyone else is even more unsuitable.

2014-10-18T03:32:00+00:00

I appreciate the sentiment but most of the meatheads I know are the most beta guys I've ever met.

averagepidgin · 2014-10-18T03:58:42+00:00

I know exactly what you mean... I think ultimately what it's coming down to is that very old saying, "Be a man". I think really what's happening is that people like to be comfortable, and when there's a real man around, there's no tolerance for bullshit. So, what happens is that yea, they try to keep you where you're at. Undermined, the underdog, they're all "rooting" for you. But secretly, they just know and see the man-ness underneath, and the reason they say all that, is because they're scared. They're scared of the real man that is you.

InterNetting · 2014-10-18T04:56:44+00:00

You don't need to look like arnold in his prime and in fact you really never will. Arnold is a true alpha male not only due to his amazing genetics but also due to his confidence, drive and success. You do, however, need to work out and get in shape and stay in shape. You need to fill out your chest and shoulders and arms, achieve a slim waist with visible abs and adonis belt. Having said that, does the statue of David satisfy all of those conditions? Yes, it does, and you'd be hard pressed to find any woman who sees you looking like that thinking you're anything but a fucking stud.

zerooneb166er · 2014-10-18T05:18:29+00:00

Women are very averse to what they think is not genuine in a man. When you decide to improve yourself, she sees an incongruence between who you were and who you are trying to be. She is afraid of this, and there are a lot of good reasons for it.

1) If you are incongruent (which you are not, but this is how everyone will see it), then you are perceived to be dishonest. For a woman, this triggers her greatest fears about men. In her eyes you could hurt her or take advantage of her.

2) If you are not predictable, she can't make accurate calculations on your future behavior. This means she can't keep you in a little box and control you. Again, you are a threat. It's true that powerful and high value people are like this too, but you didn't start in a high value 'box'. You were in a low value box, and now you are coloring outside the lines. You are rebelling against the system, her system.

So continue to better yourself. My best advice is to read as much as you work out. The people who feel threatened by you will fall away, and will be replaced by people who get it just like you do.

2014-10-18T05:19:38+00:00

I can easily relate to this. I have a friend who gets butthurt when I don't want to go get food with him because it's unhealthy and a monetary waste, same with drinking. Any time I refuse when he asks me about it I'm a "dick". Fuck em all dude. They're mad because they can't help themselves.

zerooneb166er · 2014-10-18T05:28:42+00:00

Women are very averse to what they think is not genuine in a man. When you decide to improve yourself, she sees an incongruence between who you were and who you are trying to be. She is afraid of this, and there are a lot of good reasons for it.

1) If you are incongruent (which you are not, but this is how everyone will see it), then you are perceived to be dishonest. For a woman, this triggers her greatest fears about men. In her eyes you could hurt her or take advantage of her.

2) If you are not predictable, she can't make accurate calculations on your future behavior. This means she can't keep you in a little box and control you. Again, you are a threat. It's true that powerful and high value people are like this too, but you didn't start in a high value 'box'. You were in a low value box, and now you are coloring outside the lines. You are rebelling against the system, her system.

So continue to better yourself. My best advice is to read as much as you work out. The people who feel threatened by you will fall away, and will be replaced by people who get it just like you do.

zerooneb166er · 2014-10-18T05:38:44+00:00

Women are very averse to what they think is not genuine in a man. When you decide to improve yourself, she sees an incongruence between who you were and who you are trying to be. She is afraid of this, and there are a lot of good reasons for it.

1) If you are incongruent (which you are not, but this is how everyone will see it), then you are perceived to be dishonest. For a woman, this triggers her greatest fears about men. In her eyes you could hurt her or take advantage of her.

2) If you are not predictable, she can't make accurate calculations on your future behavior. This means she can't keep you in a little box and control you. Again, you are a threat. It's true that powerful and high value people are like this too, but you didn't start in a high value 'box'. You were in a low value box, and now you are coloring outside the lines. You are rebelling against the system, her system.

So continue to better yourself. My best advice is to read as much as you work out. The people who feel threatened by you will fall away, and will be replaced by people who get it just like you do.

2014-10-18T06:09:37+00:00

Dude you're gonna lift and get huge accidentally. People are going to mistake you for an IFBB pro in like two more months.

2014-10-18T06:39:11+00:00

To be fair, most intelligent girls, don't really prefer a body builder type because it implies you're spending too little time on intellectual activities I guess.

HOWEVER the added looks and confidence are definetly worth it, just make sure you don't go to the gym over everything else - A balanced life is important too.

KingMinish · 2014-10-18T06:58:03+00:00

My mother thinks its great that I'm lifting, she tries to show me off to friends. Its weird.

Its also really nice to have a supportive family.

2014-10-18T07:45:24+00:00

I disagree. When I started to get my shit together I got comments like "you seem to know now how things work" from guys I consider to be alphas. I think I got their respect when I started to be a real man instead of a whiny beta.

2014-10-18T07:57:23+00:00

becoming an alpha is not all about bodybuilding. read, study and learn shit.

Mrmanbackman · 2014-10-18T10:47:56+00:00

gaining muscle is good but just make sure you don't gain too much. you should build muscle in relation to your bone structure and size.

RedRisingHood · 2014-10-18T10:57:22+00:00

Smart women still like muscles - can confirm

One thing, once you have established your frame as an Alpha, don't say how you were Beta and read articles online etc and changed. The one thing the girls will hate is the idea that it wasn't genetic, you were the invincible winner from birth and not one fuck was given

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-10-18T11:44:19+00:00

Funny thing is that theres a post about OP whining how an alpha douchebag knows several languanges and has PHD, crab mentality bro

2014-10-18T11:57:49+00:00

What they partly mean is don't get so big you look like some monster or orc, that's really unattractive. But what you said about them wanting you to stay a beta so they can weed you out easier is totally true.

2014-10-18T13:34:55+00:00

Gains goblins always tryin to steal those gains!

I went through the same thing. Everybody making fun of me for going to the gym. Just keep pushing forward. They're just jealous.

lurking_got_old · 2014-10-18T14:01:46+00:00

I'm super late to the game here but you need to take a hard look at these "friends." If one of my friends started to work out and noticeably try to improve himself I would do nothing but pump him up and even join in. I've had friends like what you're describing in the past and it's toxic. Every improvement you make somehow hurts them and they try to knock you down.

Keep up the good work and try to cultivate friendships that pull you forward instead of holding you back.

whatsazipper · 2014-10-18T14:17:53+00:00

People are really put off by discipline. A consistent, perseverent work ethic is an anomaly and people often fall into two categories. They find it threatening and try to tear you down, or they find your style contagious and follow you.

Overall, people fantasize about "the natural", "the genius", "the prodigy": Accomplishment without putting in any effort. This is exceptionally rare and for all intents and purposes useless. Even if you have a good genetic foundation, most men have to put in substantial work in order to cut their way to the top. That goes for any activity with which discipline yields results.

drqxx · 2014-10-18T14:21:09+00:00

People want you to do well.

Just not better than them.

Onward to glory!

derkonigistnackt · 2014-10-18T14:41:42+00:00

I'm 5'10 and 155, in school I was 127... even though I'm around 10% bf and I've been doing martial arts and lifting since I'm 20, my oldest friends and my family tell me the stupidest shit ever ("you are fat", "you look like Johnny Bravo", "you are going to look like a jock without a neck"). If you study too much or work too hard people will call you obsessive,... fuck 'em. This has nothing to do with alpha or not, I refuse to be mediocre.

2014-10-18T15:03:52+00:00

This is something you will face across the board of life’s endeavors.

LIFTING

When I started Lifting I got the same nonsense as you. I don’t need to lift weights, follow intermittent fasting, or stop eating a shit ton of processed bullshit food.

REASON

They didn’t like my decision because it put their lifestyle in the light and made them reflect on their shitty health choices.

WORK

When I was in the military and was the one always volunteering to stay late to get the job done and skipping breaks to assist my guys so they could learn their job as well as having someone on hand who knew what was going on I was called a kiss ass. This was coming from the guys who lived in the office, under the boss’s desk.

REASON

They hated because the guys respected and followed me. They knew their laziness caused them to lose face with the troops; their only response was a petty attempt to get me to feel as though my actions to outwork them were weak. Results speak for themselves.

BIG DECISIONS

I've decided my next vehicle is going to be a Wrangler, a car I've always wanted, as opposed to a Civic which is considered more ‘practical’ I've been called irresponsible and impractical.

REASON

Whenever you do anything that someone else wishes they could do, they hate.

Our society is geared towards beta males that make decisions based on the consensus of those around them.

CONCLUSION

Be the ALPHA, make decisions for yourself and stick with them. To be honest, the times when people are talking shit are probably the times where you’re doing it right.

Edit: Spelling

2014-10-18T16:32:48+00:00

I'm physically handicapped, but been lifting steadily 6 days a week for two weeks now. Had an overweight woman I know scoff at the fact that I lift & that I take protein powder. I was shocked.

Going to the gym is half the battle on self improvement, every behemoth fat girl I see there I instantly respect, they're at least taking action.

I will say however I'm annoyed at most of the girls that go there. You know the ones i'm talking about. They purposely wear tight yoga pants, some of them so thin you can see their thong up the ass as they do squats.

I goto the gym to improve myself, not to be active in gaming chicks. It's a bit distracting.

Trengingigan · 2014-10-18T17:23:15+00:00

Keep improving your life. We do want you to become better :)

evilassaultweapon · 2014-10-18T18:09:09+00:00

You're on the path to beat my life's path by a year. Keep it up!

2014-10-18T20:17:46+00:00

People don't judge themselves in absolute terms, they judge themselves relative to their social circle.

bat_mayn · 2014-10-18T20:29:23+00:00

It's hard when it is your own flesh and blood keeping you down or doubting you. But all you have to do is stay strong, and they will have no choice but to respect it - unless they are a festering malignant narcissist.

NotReallyEthicalLOL · 2014-10-18T20:46:17+00:00

You'll probably lose your old friends as you improve. It's a symptom of humanity.

2014-10-18T20:49:33+00:00

I'm starting to be very quiet about all the self improvement I am doing, and I believe I am getting along far better with people as a result. I know part of it is I've already cut out a lot of the cancer so the average is better, but new people seem to enjoy the mystery and actionable trickle truth of self improvement more than just progress updates and factual explanations. I don't know what you're talking about with people, but try going stoic if you're not and see how their reactions change.

2014-10-19T01:13:12+00:00

yeah you are totally getting that big by just starting out... how about SS+gomad tho? could you pull it off do you think?

squareball · 2014-10-21T16:04:16+00:00

I know this is an old post, but maybe you'll read it so what the hell: it takes YEARS to get big. And not even that -- if you stay natural you will be limited by your genetics which probably means you won't turn into a huge guy anyway.

FrogDie · 2014-10-31T09:12:07+00:00

There's a heart of truth in being 'too big', but that takes a LOT of working out.

eagleshigh · 2014-10-18T06:45:07+00:00

Fuck that man, dont listen. Women love men who go to the gym

2014-10-20T20:26:54+00:00

To be fair, being big is not attractive.. being LEAN is... That's what makes you look manly, not a bulky baby