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[–]DrMungMung 122 points123 points  (40 children)

I don't have a problem with what she did and how he handled it... what gets my jimmies rustled is how she's now trying to defend her actions and get support from her peers ( read other women ) and can't seem to get her head around why she got dumped.

[–]realniggasstandup 142 points143 points  (25 children)

Solipsism -- just look at her responses. She doesn't get it because she didn't think before opening her mouth. She will never get it because to her what only matters is her point of view. To her, it's not her fault because she simply expressed some of her thoughts. An analogy would be a white nigga going up to his black nigga and asking "I'm seriously thinking about joing the KKK, what do you think?" The black nigga would completely lose his respect for the white nigga, it doesn't matter whether or not he actually ended up joining the KKK in the end.

Just because she thought it would be a swell and "fair" idea, she decided to bring it up to him. She didn't even think once about how he would react and decided to go ahead and open up the can of worms.

THINGS THAT WOULD GO THROUGH A MAN'S MIND WHEN HIS GF ASKS HIM TO OPEN UP THE RELATIONSHIP:

1) she's not satisfied by him sexually; she's "ok" with everything else, e.g., being provided for, but she simply has no excitement in life, sexually or otherwise. No point in being in a relationship if you're just being used.

2) she's most likely already cheating or is planning to, but an "open relationship" would burden her with no guilt; also, she most likely already knows who the first man she's going to be banging if the relationship opens up;

3) SENSE OF PRIDE; that bitch is openly going around fucking other men, and this pussywhipped nigga isn't going to do shit about it. Word gets out. What will his friends think? What will his parents say? A man's sense of pride is one of the most important things to him.

4) What if we get married, this continues, and she gets pregnant with another man's child? She'd probably say abortion, but we all know how bitches change their minds every other day.

5) What if she ends up leaving me for one of her fuck buddies? I've spent 5+ of my life, time, and money on her and she'll end up leaving as soon as a better deal comes along.

To be fair, she's going to want to "move up" regardless due to hypergamy, but giving her more opportunities to do so just increases the likelihood of that happening.

6) She's clearly not devoted to me, otherwise she would spend her time only with me as a partner. It's time to move on.

But nope, solipsism. "I'D like to do this. Me me me me."

[–]MockingDead 30 points31 points  (11 children)

I spent 2100 on a girl only for her to cheat and then say it wasn't a big deal, and then say she wanted an open relationship.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (7 children)

Ouch.

[–]MockingDead 30 points31 points  (6 children)

Yeah. I dumped her on the spot. Lost a lot of beta friends because of it.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (1 child)

sweet. best money you ever spent.

[–]MockingDead 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah. I could lament that I spent 2100 dollars on nothing, but learning who your friends are is priceless.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

What? I would never turn my back on my homies if he dumped his girlfriend. WTF.

[–]MockingDead 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Betas don't have homies. I realize that betas are basically male men with female attitudes. They will drag you down for a piece of 3/10 tail.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The actually really gross.

[–]mussedeq 2 points3 points  (2 children)

On what? Dinner and shit or plane tickets?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

[–]MockingDead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dinner, Gas, Car repairs. Girl could eat and live 75 miles away.

The thing is, I'm not terribly interested in dating, but she was interested and I said "Eh, sure, why not."

[–]annul 17 points18 points  (5 children)

white nigga

lol

[–]vanzant38 4 points5 points  (0 children)

please

[–]angryadult 14 points15 points  (3 children)

nigga ain't a race, it's an attitude.

s/a/er/ and you have a problem.

[–][deleted] 5 points5 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]angryadult 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why are you putting so much emphasis on the H?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell that to my High School Gym Coach.

[–]UnpluggedMaestro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In other words, if she's into you, she'll want to spend every goddamn second with you, not banging other dudes. If not, all reasons are just hamsterization to defend the fact that she's not that into you. Aka cut your losses early. That's exactly what i would have done, kudos to the guy.

[–]caius_iulius_caesar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is hypergamy on steroids.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How can one go about becoming a white nigga?

I live in a black neighborhood so this information would be helpful to me

[–]Yapshoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buy Girbauds and Jordans > Buy tall T's > Adopt slang > Get some 'beat' in your trunk > Wear Girbauds below ass level > Success

Well, this worked for me in 03-08 - results may vary in '14.

[–]nSaneMadness 34 points35 points  (11 children)

It made me happy to see people pointing out the most obvious fact that she ignored. That she's the one that stands to gain, and not him.

[–]madstatistician 29 points30 points  (0 children)

But but but

It would "go both ways"

Plus she read online that it was a really good idea

[–]GridReXX 0 points1 point  (9 children)

Open relationships only work if both people are into it.

[–]atleastitsnotaids 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Open relationships don't work.

[–]GridReXX -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

I'm inclined to agree for most people. However as I bi-woman, I think that I will personally have a hard time with sexual monogamy. Not that I couldn't, but it will be hard. Not that I have a desire to sleep with "many" people, more or less every now and then I have an urge to be sexually intimate with the other sex. Although I wish it weren't the case, sexual intimacy with women and sexual intimacy with men is so completely different.

[–]atleastitsnotaids 8 points9 points  (3 children)

If monogamy is impossible for you then don't get into a relationship

[–]GridReXX 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Disagree. I won't/don't enter into relationships with people who have a strict view of how relationships operate. I advocate fair communication.

[–]atleastitsnotaids 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Regardless of what people say/think they want or they can handle, there are certain truths to human nature. Being in what we can both agree upon to be a 'romantic relationship' as it is commonly understood requires sacrifice and compromise of the people within that relationship for it to last. Again, that is something I think we can both agree is commonly understood.

The closer you get to the other person in the relationship and the longer it lasts, the more you begin to depend on them for your emotional stability and well being, (for better or worse, I don't think this is a positive but it is a truth nonetheless). You can feel this happening. It does not usually happen equally on both sides of the relationship. As this dependency increases, so does your fear of losing the other person. This is when jealousy kicks in big time. Being in an open relationship will eventually, for one of the partners who is more emotionally invested at that time, become a problem.

This will either break the relationship, or the person will pretend to be happy and okay because they are so dependent on the other person they are willing to endure the pain so as not to lose them. That is no better and less healthy than ending the relationship.

Open relationships can work for a time, maybe, but it is not going to last or promote a healthy long term relationship.

[–]GridReXX -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Being in an open relationship will eventually, for one of the partners who is more emotionally invested at that time, become a problem.

I do agree with this. However I think any relationship is going to be hard when the emotional investment becomes lopsided.

The person who is strongly emotionally invested will feel unappreciated.

The person who is less emotionally invested will feel taxed and also they will feel bad they aren't reciprocating the same level of emotion.

TBH I've never had an open relationship in actual practice for this reason, doesn't stop the fact that I am naturally bi and will always have urges for the other sex, but I figure I can repress.

That being said, to avoid what we were just discussing about lopsided emotional investment, I advocate that both parties try to find people who are initially as into the other person as the other person is into them.

Because if person A has NEVER had the strong feelings that person B has, it is highly unlikely they will grow over time and you end up in situations where people end up staying because the lifestyle is compatible but not because they have chemistry with the other person. (This is what the OP seems to be dealing with but not wanting to admit to herself)

At least when two people are equally in passion with each other initially, and over the course of the relationship it see saws back and forth, at least they both know what it feels like to be strongly into the other person and so they know what it takes to get back to that point.

Apologies if that comes off confusing.

[–]nSaneMadness 1 point2 points  (2 children)

They only work if both are into it, and both partners don't have, or can at least manage, their jealousy issues.

This does not change one simple fact, and that's the fact that in an open relationship, the woman has the advantage. Finding guys to have sex with is easy. She doesn't have to do anything but say yes. Heck, said guys may even take her out as well. And most men won't care she's unavailable for commitment.

Meanwhile the man has to prove himself to get women to have sex with him, which the majority will require some degree of "provider status" while he's still providing for his committed partner. They have to be okay with the fact he's unavailable for commitment, and most women desire commitment.

[–]quintaldo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is the key point and the reason why it is fair that he left her on the spot, and it is unfair that she even thought of getting fucked by other dudes

this is keeping in mind that her man is alpha status socially, financially, and in his commitment demonstration he layed it all down FOR her, the whole nine yards of traditional male commitment and she said "oh but now that you're giving me all your long term commitment, what about if i gave you none ? would you agree with that ?"

the tragedy of this story is that the guy believed he could count on a woman to act like women of the past, although all of current culture and society and the female hivemind are teaching them not to

his relationship relied entirely on the abilities of said woman not to fall for the cultural poison and it was a high stakes bet, which he lost

she wont ever understand what happened to her, she will be riding the stupid cock carrousel and get wrecked by it but call it empowerment with much reassuring of the feminist community, which reassuring she came begging on reddit

this is an altogether exemplary story, a novelworthy one.

[–]GridReXX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. Doesn't seem to stop the ones who want it. I've been hit on and blatantly propositioned by more married guys I care to recall.

And I don't know that most women desire commitment. I desire commitment when I find a guy I have that initial spark for other than that you won't hear complaining about labeling. In fact I have more guys asking the "what are we????" question. That isn't to say that sometimes I have the spark and the guy doesn't.

I think it's the same for guys, at least the ones I know. They play the field until one day they meet a girl that makes their heart melt. Suddenly, they're like "I have to lock this down/ I want o be with her"

In my experience, when one party isn't vocal about being "official" They're either 1) going through a stressful no nonsense time in their life or 2) they're just not that into you or not as into you as you're into them.

Women are always told by the older women in their life "Date a guy who loves you more than you love him." I think the logic is that the inverse means you'll always be the one giving. The problem with that is that it kind of sucks to be the person who loves less. The passion isn't there. Your mind will wander...

But I think men could easily fall into the same trap. I think it's optimal to find someone who at least initially is as into you as you are them. It happens. But it's more rare than the other two.

[–]symko 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Devoid of all responsibility is the woman's trump card. As long as society doesn't hold women accountable they will continue to act like victims when they damn well know they are the reason this happened.

[–]16 TRP VanguardTRPsubmitter 45 points46 points  (0 children)

"Omg u guyz!! Why can't my bf be supportive?! All I want is some other penises inside me...can't he understand MY view? Ugh he's being so selfish!"

[–][deleted] 319 points320 points  (24 children)

Imagine her face when she rechecked her post, imagining to see a bunch of supportive "OMG was an insecure asshole BF, you deserve better. Keep looking for a man, a real man would put up with all of this to have you!" and instead got dumped on....

As a side note, I prefer when RP focuses upon RP examples (like this), rather than the low-hanging fruit that is BP examples. This post contributes more value IMO than the "guy whose wife fucked 11 dudes" because there is so much BP in every pore of society. There will always be billions of BP examples, far more than we could ever link, but RP examples are rare.

[–][deleted] 47 points47 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]RaiseOnce 3 points4 points  (4 children)

link?

[–]alt30313 7 points8 points  (1 child)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Greatest hits.

[–]TheRabid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wish that guy alot of good luck and fortune.

[–]aristideau 0 points1 point  (3 children)

do you a link to the 11 dude story?

[–]SuperNinKenDo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Above.

[–]XCowboyLowkesx 78 points79 points  (6 children)

I was thinking the exact same thing, this content is the best in weeks. We should definitely focus on more red pill examples

[–]16 TRP VanguardTRPsubmitter 81 points82 points  (4 children)

Whole time I was reading a smile kept creeping over my face. I was like "Finally out of all the x-posts I've seen, there is a guy who acted *exactly" how he should have"..

Whole time I was like "yeah..yeah...nice...hell ya! Nice one bro!"

And hilariously she responds to the top comment that he is "being unfair". Wow the hamster has emerged from its slumber

[–]iKill_eu 32 points33 points  (1 child)

The entirety of that comment thread is just her hamster getting fucking shut down. I love it.

[–]16 TRP VanguardTRPsubmitter 19 points20 points  (0 children)

What is also funny is look at the related subreddits in r/relationships. They're all totally blue pill subreddits designed to reassure women and shame men back into their corner.

[–]magicalbird 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You reap what you sow

She'll be getting on the cock carousel all right as a coping mechanism because she didn't realize she lost the number one alpha cock by getting greedy with her solipsistic hamster.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. I had a similar situation.

I gave her a lovely break-up talk in front of her dorm. It was motivational and designed to make her leave me the fuck alone (but in a nice way). She told me, "I wasn't expecting this" (that I would break up with her). I put her dumbass in her place.

Now I'm in medical school and she's still struggling to finish undergrad with her hoodbooger boyfriend while my frat bros enjoy her cumdumpster ass. Shameful.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

One of the most valuable skills you can ever cultivate in yourself is the knowledge of when to cut and run.

Not just in relationships, but in everything. When that little switch gets flipped in your brain that shit is about to turn sour, just up and walking is often the best idea.

People start shouting and squaring off at each other at a bar? Do you care about any of them? No? Not you, not your pack, its time to enjoy a cigarette outside and plan the rest of the night for the next few minutes.

Not getting out of the way is the number one reason you get hit by the train.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a side note, I prefer when RP focuses upon RP examples (like this), rather than the low-hanging fruit that is BP examples.

Exactly... I mean for a BP example to be something useful or amusing it has to involve an EPIC FAIL on the part of the beta male not just archetypical beta male behavior. We all know what a typical beta male is going to do in any given situation.

[–]SuperNinKenDo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the end, that did turn in to pure Red Pill though.

[–]Human_Isomer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think Blue pill examples reaffirm what you have learned through TRP. YOu are able to look back at something blue pill, that could've been you, and realize the growth that has occurred in your own life i.e transition from BP to RP.

[–]jorgander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your point, but it is good to be reminded of why we must be vigilant, sort of like how a movie snob will occasionally view films like Sex in the City.

[–]DyNo541 143 points144 points  (21 children)

After five years of dating she pulls this shit?

This is the kind of thing that makes me want to never get married.

No matter how long you "vet" them - having one do this after 5 years is a reason to hit the ejection button.

I can't imagine losing half of my shit as a result of kicking her to the curb.

Good on him, I'd buy him a beer.

[–]symko 40 points41 points  (9 children)

Usually the girls mom will clue you in to how your relationship with her will be. One look at momma and you know whether to stay or run. I guess some guys just don't wanna see the truth.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Wow. I'm blind but now I see. I always thought you only looked at Mom to determine how she'll end up looking physically. I never thought about the mental and behavioral aspect of the situation. Would have saved me some heartache a few years ago.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You actually want to look at both parents.

Her relationship with her father is a good indicator of how she'll interact with you. You can see if she respects him, or if she will walk all roughshod over him if things get rough.

The relationship between the father-mother shows a lot as well.

Also, if the woman comes from a fatherless home I wouldn't say it's a red flag, but you need to be very wary or see who became her role model as a male influence on her life.

If you remember one point remember this: parents are the most influential people in their children's lives. They will play the greatest role in affecting who they will become and their views on relationships.

[–]MILF_SLAMMER 40 points41 points  (5 children)

I wish I had known this. My ex's mom was an obese heartless bitch. I overlooked it because I was fucking the shit out of her daughter, but, in the end, like mother, like daughter.

[–]gopher88 27 points28 points  (3 children)

I do love your name is MILF_SLAMMER, given this reply

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Sounds like that woman was not a milf

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He slammed her, though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MILF= Mother in Law fucking slammer

[–]TheRabid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damned right.

[–]Thors_Cock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went through the exact same thing with my ex as the OP did. Her mom was a fucking psycho, so it rings through in my experience.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (8 children)

Yea, this confuses me. On the one hand, this guys seems to have his head screwed on straight, and you'd think that of all the guys in the world, he would have known after 5 years.

But on the other hand, there's girls like this and.....urgh.

[–]CurveballSI 13 points14 points  (3 children)

He's a guy with a good head on his shoulders, not a psychic.

It's all in her post. One day, after five years, she just felt that she should open the relationship up because she's tired of fucking the same dude.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

So is every girl a walking "I'm tired of the sex" waiting to happen?

Rhetorical question.

[–]CurveballSI 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes. It's up to you to change things up sexually to keep a girl interested in the relationship.

Think of it this way. You have a girl that cooks dinner for you every night. She cooks great food. Amazing food. But it's always one of three different meals every night.

You think after five years you'll be ready to eat out?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't think that's a valid analogy.

If you really want to stick with food, the analogy would be "after eating 3 perfect dishes cooked by your gf for 5 years, wouldn't you want to try the same dishes but cooked by someone else?"

And my answer would be no.

[–]rhythmguy 6 points6 points [recovered]

Well, frankly, our society is a terrible place for raising women to be valuable and trustworthy partners. We practically breed them to be nothing more than parasites.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is an interesting idea. I think so too, but I'm curious, how would you put together an argument to convince someone as such?

[–]magicalbird 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Solipsism strikes again

The most epic reaction ever. I would buy him a 12-pack all for him.

[–]1wakethfkupneo 136 points137 points  (3 children)

When woman suddenly comes out with the opening relationship idea, that usually means she has someone very specific in mind. Chances are 50/50 that she's cheated already. And I think this guy is smart enough to figure that out. Kudos to him.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 46 points47 points  (2 children)

This comment is not getting enough love. I remember right before I caught my ex in her first affair we were having an argument about how little sex we were having and she said something along the lines of "well it's just sex, it's not that important to me. I don't view it as that big of a deal, but maybe we should talk about seeing other people within our marriage if that's what you want."

I had never expressed ANY interest in seeing other people so that comment set off big warning bells in my mind. I installed chat logging software on her laptop and caught her having a very explicit conversation with her boyfriend less than a week later.

They are monkeys, and they don't start talking about swinging to another tree until they already have a fairly good grasp on someone else's branch.

[–]tech-ninja 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They are monkeys, and they don't start talking about swinging to another tree until they already have a fairly good grasp on someone else's branch.

Deep.

[–]rapreaper 10 points11 points  (0 children)

fairly good grasp on someone else's branch.

Pun Intended.

[–]stalinbaby 213 points214 points  (20 children)

I just thought he would've been open to new things.

Well, he is. It's just not the new thing she wants. He is going to fuck other girls, but while not having to deal with the leftovers from the bunch of dudes she would be banging.

And what the fuck was she expecting his rejection to be like? "Nah, it's not for me." Great, now she's made clear that she wants to fuck other guys, which is just one step behind cheating itself.

Seriously, his reaction is so logical that it's practically Vulcan. Good for him.

[–]lazydonovan 84 points85 points  (13 children)

My only surprise is how quickly he walked away. Passive-aggressive me would just kind of wander off over the course of a few months.

[–] points points

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[–]Haraklus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I want to see this write up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree! Hope to see that write up in the future.

[–]PostGradWarrior 27 points28 points  (3 children)

I probably would have come up with an escape plan to get all my shit out of the apartment before she found out and what to do about the lease. However, there is no way I could hide it that long.

At least with all that money he saved by not buying a ring he can get himself a Rolex.

[–]lazydonovan 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I could buy some nice Amateur radio kit for that.

[–]Hoodwink 26 points27 points  (4 children)

I would have probably wondered what was wrong with myself for a few months and why the relationship seems so alien and distant.

This guy figured it out in an instant. She probably let a comment or two slip that really hurt but sounded totally legitimate to her mind, though. We only got the paraphrase of what she wanted to say in the best possible light.

[–]DEVi4TION 24 points25 points  (3 children)

He probably had a cheating girlfriend when he was younger. Seems he learns quickly.

[–]Hoodwink 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I bet he didn't have a 5 year relationship. Ending it so quickly is something.

[–]PlanB_pedofile 4 points5 points  (1 child)

This conversation seemed a bit long time coming. She probably over the course of months been wondering into wanting to fuck other dudes. It took that final conversation of "yup", "yup" for it to trigger that this girl is serious and she wants to sleep around with other men.

He cut out. Probably had an escape plan pre planned just needed a final confirmation to enact it.

[–]Pornography_saves_li 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably had an escape plan pre planned just needed a final confirmation to enact it.

Yeah, I read that between the lines too.

[–]LasherDeviance 33 points34 points  (3 children)

As a ST fan, loved the Vulcan reference. Real talk, I would call dude pure Data. But it is true, dude Noped the fuck out because he saw where it would lead.

PROTIP: A statement like that from any woman that you have been with for half a decade is as good a reason as any to cut your losses and Nope the fuck out ASAP.

[–]UnpluggedMaestro 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Protip: a statement like that from ANY woman you're attached to is an instant order to nope the fuck out asap.

[–]LasherDeviance 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nah man. He didn't nope. He was cool and calculating like Data. No emotional response.

[–]FortunateBum 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seriously, his reaction is so logical that it's practically Vulcan. Good for him.

Yes, I love how he seemed to be two moves ahead of her all the time.

[–]pitlord713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so logical that it's practically Vulcan.

That was amazing.

[–]BJRone 213 points214 points  (11 children)

"You're so amazing babe, but would you mind if I get fucked by strange men on the side while you support me emotionally and financially?"

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 91 points92 points  (8 children)

Ex wife tried that. "I dont want to move out, I dont want to end this, but I want this other guy so I will stay here with you." Then she spent two entire days with him, and I ended our marriage by text.

She blames me for everything, and due to the idiots influence she is really fucking things up around here, not for me, but for the entire community. She just cant understand why I wasnt ok with it, and why I didnt like this wonderful guy that nobody who works with him, let alone her parents, likes.

Soon I will be completely done with her and her fucked up family. The last few pieces are falling into place this month.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Best of luck, my man

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Shit happens, I will never trust a woman again, because she was one of the 'good' ones, yet she went bad just like the 'bad' ones. Court today, then a bit more bullshit and a few thousand dollars and I can be done with them entirely.

[–]slfnflctd 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I will never trust a woman again

I know exactly what you mean. After years of drowning in severe, life-destroying misery due entirely to not understanding how shit works in the real world, then finding the red pill, I experienced a similar change in my ability to trust.

There are a few things that temper this for me. Although it stings to know that I will almost certainly never experience the good parts of the total devotion to a woman I was once capable of, at least I know the horrifically bad part (which nearly killed me) won't happen again. I've been inoculated. Also, believe it or not, once this maladaptive and foolish tendency has been burned out of you - however much you may wish it didn't have to be - other areas open up wide. There are still plenty of things you can trust women with, especially now that you know what not to. You won't be as vulnerable to their attempts to hem you in. You may not even care as much about the issue of monogamy down the road, as you gradually acclimate to the realization that the vast majority of them aren't really capable of it in the sense we once believed/hoped. You can't miss what you don't expect. Eventually, you may even find one worth growing old with. Furthermore, you will value your good male friends - and appreciate other males in general - more than ever now, because you understand more about how they can be supportive and reliable in ways that almost no woman can (I still cringe at how I acted before I figured this out, so much needless damage done). "True love" is dead. Long live real love.

I'm glad the funeral is almost over for you so you can move on. Better times are ahead.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Man, I would love to read this whole story fleshed-out. Submit a post for us please!

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Why would you want to read all of that? If you really want to read a short story length post, I will write it up tonight.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do it up man! Field report right there.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn't forget, got thrown in jail because of my ex. Didnt do shit but had to do time. Women and the pussy pass can fuck you over easy.

[–]LasherDeviance 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Nah babe. Later. Enjoy the benefits those new dicks provide. I can't go.

[–]Kombaiya 23 points24 points  (0 children)

but it's so unfair!

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 88 points89 points  (8 children)

Wooow.

If her description is accurate, this guy is

  • Intelligent
  • Attractive
  • Supportive
  • Gentlemanly (in a genuine way - not the classic "nice guy" archetype)
  • Great in bed
  • Great job (good pay is implied)

I mean, she hit the fucking jackpot. She scored the perfect boyfriend.

And she's STILL succumbing to hypergamy.

"Honey, even though you're a perfect 10/10, I need more dicks in my life, because I need to explore new things and have new experiences because feminism. Is that okay with you?"

God bless this bull alpha for walking out on the spot like that. That ought to put this dumb slut in her place, at least till she manages to hamster past it and rationalize her idiotic behavior away.

Reason #837 to never get married. No matter how perfect you are, you'll never be perfect enough.

[–]FreedomIntensifies 28 points29 points  (6 children)

You could tell she was hoping he reads that and also that he is far from a 10/10. She describes absolutely no passion towards him if you read between the lines. She said "family and friends love him" (not including herself first!) and then goes on to frame him as a bad guy before finally saying she loves him in a sentence that doesn't even make sense, probably from the cognitive dissonance she felt making such a bold lie: "I love him and it has nothing to do with just purely physical sex."

No way to tell what is wrong with him other than we know he is pulling bank. Small cock, not attractive, and/or super beta personality. Might be tempted to rule out the third because he walked right out, but even betas can have hard lines and she probably had been treating him like the shit she saw him as for the last year so he was ready to bail anyway.

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 25 points26 points  (3 children)

I'm disinclined to believe she actually wanted him to find this post - she did use a throwaway, after all.

Honestly, "my family and friends love him" sounds exactly like she's saying he had value to her personally. Keep in mind while we guys tend to choose who we're attracted individualistically (we see, we like, end of story) girls decide who's attractive primarily through consensus. As a unit.

Think about it: if 5/6 girls in a group all declare that a guy is super attractive and get all giggly over him, the sixth girl is going to automatically assume he's high value. Even if she doesn't find him attractive in the slightest, she's going to want to jump his balls anyway, because it's what the collective says she should want.

So, if she says "the other people in my life think he's great," that could be her roundabout way of saying "I have definitive proof that he's high value."

[–]FreedomIntensifies 2 points3 points  (1 child)

She specifically said friends and family though. That's different ... unless something is very wrong with you, this is a given. There is no passion in her comments, just a check list. The group decision making I agree with, but it's more of a female thing. Males with good incomes are pack leaders in our society. It's like winning the lottery, everyone wants good relations with you when your bank is in good shape.

There is nothing indicating a visceral attraction in the way she describes him, which she would have if other pussy was craving his cock as you say. In fact it seems to be FAR from the case .... she is craving cock other than his so badly that she told him!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Friends and family is never a given. A lot of "ism's" can prevent that. Racism, nationalism, whatever.

[–]GridReXX -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Nah. Most girlfriends constantly joke how we all have completely different taste in men. I never trust my friends judgement. Because what they find physically attractive and personality attractive is not what I like and vice versa.

[–]GridReXX 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree! As a woman reading her post. She didn't want to fuck other people "because feminism". She wanted to because she's not in love doesn't seem to have passion for this guy.

He sounds like a decent upstanding guy which is why she wanted to stay. But unfortunately she doesn't like him. So she's trying to figure out a way to fulfill both.

If she were self aware she would have broken up with him. They both deserve people who they like and feel passionately about.

I think people think they should like someone because he's "alpha" as TRP puts it, but sometimes there's just not a connection and people end up staying in things longer than they should because of other compatibility. But sometimes what really counts is that chemistry.

[–]FortunateBum 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Women are never happy. Ever. This is something good to know before you get involved.

[–]Staple_Stable 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Notice how she still refers to him as her boyfriend. Sorry sweetheart but that train has passed. Actions have consequences.

[–]madstatistician 47 points48 points  (2 children)

I've been going to his workplace

Totally appropriate!

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[–]WheelbugScaphism 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is the part that made me suspect the whole thing was fake. Great response for the open relationship game though.

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[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm so fucking proud of Reddit today. So proud.

I read that log and smiled from ear to ear, smiled in a way I haven't for a long, long time: genuinely.

So of course I thought the comment section would be filled with all sorts of capes trying to defend this rotten hoe. But no! To my elated surprise, Reddit grew a pair of balls and told a bitch the fucking truth.

And you know what? She's better for it. This idea that we need to protect and shelter people, to avoid criticizing and shaming them is a SELFISH ACT. Letting people go through life constantly fucking up just to protect yourself from their reaction is the most pussy thing I can think of.

[–]alt30313 58 points59 points  (26 children)

"From my point of view it would have been equal - he could do whatever I could do" In my opinion open relationships in general benefit women more than men. Even if the guy can do what ever the girl can do the relationship is not equal.

"No, nobody specific, a few different people" Good Response to OP: "Are you fucking high? Nobody specific =/= a few different people. Those people are fucking specific people. That's what those words mean!!"

"You would have fucked one of those people and you fucking know it. You can keep lying to yourself, but stop lying to us. It just makes you look worse and worse."

"You don't just mean ONE specific person - you're talking about several specific people, which is arguably much worse. You fantasized about making your loving, caring boyfriend a cuckold."

"well at first I did want to be monogamous, and I have no problem still being monogamous, it's just something I wanted to potentially explore and it feels like he has changed into a completely different person" He changed? It's his fault.

"I have been thinking about wanting to open up the relationship for a while, it's only been this past year or so." She previously said she had no problem being monogamous. Wow ... Date/Vet a girl for 5 years and you think you know her... She wasn't honest with him for aprox a year ... So we're supposed to trust her when she says she wants to be monogamous with him if he's not open minded about open relationships? marriage = not even once

" I would like to think we live in a time where people are not going to judge other people for wanting to have sex" ... In a committed relationship.. wants to have sex with other people ...doesn't want to be judged ...

If no sane male is going to be okay with it why are there entire communities dedicated to swinging in that sort of thing? They are like yesterdays cuckold (forced into it), alpha (it benefits them), beta (out of their depth), kinky fwbs ect

[–]SupALupRT 25 points26 points  (6 children)

Hes not judging her. Told her she could fuck whoever she wanted and He wished her a nice life. What more does she want? I think she should be grateful.

[–]alt30313 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Right he loves her enough to set her free. I thought that's what women want?

[–]morphite65 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Now she can follow her heart!

[–]edtofe01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes ... Her heart ()/

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Judge, jury, executioner.

[–]autoNFA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds to me like he's judging her. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[–]madstatistician 32 points33 points  (8 children)

In a committed relationship.. wants to have sex with other people ...doesn't want to be judged ...

As somebody in the other recent poly thread on TRP pointed out, it's absolutely mind-bogglingly ridiculous that "slut shaming your wife" is now a thing.

[–]WheelbugScaphism 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Welcome to reddit, aka Bizarro World. These people normalize 20 degenerate behaviors every day before breakfast.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 14 points15 points  (6 children)

This is the hard part about maintaining my liberalism. I have to be lumped together with these "anything goes!" idiots.

If I'm a full-blown conservative in 5 years I honestly wouldn't be surprised.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 7 points8 points  (2 children)

My transition took about 5 full years to go from a guy who loved The West Wing and cheered with tears of joy when we elected Obama, to voting Libertarian in the last presidential election and alienating all of my facebook friends with my anti-government rants.

I still consider myself fundamentally liberal, but I mean it in the original sense (from the latin word for "freedom".) What we call politically "liberal" today is a farce and involves just as much, if not more, social control and bureaucratic regulatory bullshit than the republican platform.

Government should keep the roads in good condition, provide basic infrastructure, and keep people from violating each other's basic rights to live in peace and choose their own actions. Very little else is needed, especially from a federal system. Beyond that we should keep it local.

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[–]Justus222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for giving me a term for my views.

[–]LasherDeviance 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Come on over to our side. People like to bash conservatives, but at least we stand by our convictions, and not all of us believe the world is only 6000 yrs old and that global warming doesnt exist.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Those aren't conservatives, they're nutjobs.

Both sides have nutjobs. Its just that conservative nutjobs say no to everything while liberal nutjobs say yes.

[–]Pornography_saves_li 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Great Lakes are almost frozen over. The polar caps are both much larger than normal, let alone as Al Gore predicted. Global temperature has been plunging in accord with solar max/min cycles for the last few years, a massive scandal over faked evidence and cover ups in East Anglia shredded the credibility of AGW enthusiasts long ago.

I guess you found your equivalent to 'the Earth was created 6000 years ago". Congratulations.

[–]MockingDead 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I used to belong to that crowd it is always this:

Person A wants to sleep around and Person B loves person A so much that they acquiesce. I use person because I've seen some Alpha Polyamorists and many, many cukolds.

Person A and Person B are really FWB and they sleep around.

[–]GridReXX -2 points-1 points  (7 children)

I agree with the rest just not sure how open relationships benefit women more than men.

[–]Boss_Monkey 4 points5 points  (5 children)

The way relationships worked in the past was a man got a woman's sexuality and children in exchange for his labor. Women have excess in sex/childbearing and men have excess in labour. It was a neat agreement that served both parties well, and grew the economy of all states that benefited from it. Things have changed, (mainly the female side of the bargain has collapsed but the male remains) but the logic lingers in our collective awareness...So...

The logic that follows: The open sex bargain would be like a 1950s man saying to his stay at home wife, that he wanted to open the relationship up so they could spend their individually earned resources on other people. And, as a reminder, she would still have to hold up to her end of the bargain to provide him access to her sexuality.

[–]GridReXX -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

I think you're assuming in the 1950s men didn't cheat and prior to that it wasn't socially acceptable for men to cheat... I don't have stats. Only my grandparents anecdotes, but women put up with a lot more then because the dynamics weren't set up so that they could leave and easily provide for themselves as most workplaces were hostile to women and openly discouraged it.

I think it's also naive to assume in a society where the intellect of EVERYONE is valued and honed to assume women don't want to purse certain things is an odd thought. The reason things aren't the way they were because the social dynamics allowed so women could provide for themselves and exercise other natural pursuits.

Being able to birth a child doesn't mean women don't have other natural inclinations. That's like assuming because I man can make a baby he doesn't have other natural inclinations.

[–]Boss_Monkey 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think you may have missed the point. to answer your original question simply: women benefit from "open" relationships more then men because "open" relationships are defined in access to sex outside the relationship. Sex is what women have in spades.

For a woman to understand this, I gave an analogy of a breadwinner spending his resources on other women. It is not fair to the housewife as it is not fair to the current boyfriend in OP. (even if it is open to both parties, both do not have equal commodities to trade with outside parties)

[–]jvardrake 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think you're assuming in the 1950s men didn't cheat and prior to that it wasn't socially acceptable for men to cheat... I don't have stats. Only my grandparents anecdotes, but women put up with a lot more then because the dynamics weren't set up so that they could leave and easily provide for themselves as most workplaces were hostile to women and openly discouraged it.

I agree with this 100%. Back then, women had the raw end of the deal. It wasn't easy for them to work, and if the husband decided he was going to take off, she was in a lot of trouble. This gave them them the burden of being forced to put up with a lot of crap, and stuff like alimony obviously grew out of this imbalance.

Now, however, things have flipped 180 degrees. Instead of moving towards some sort of system where both parties are treated fairly, the party that is getting screwed over has just been flipped. The woman can leave the marriage whenever she likes - for a valid reason, or no reason whatsoever (i.e. no-fault divorce) - and it is extremely likely that the man is going to be on the hook for a whole boatload of cash (particularly if children are involved).

This is why men are now forced to put up with a lot, because - when it comes to divorce - women hold all the cards.

[–]GridReXX -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's just false. Men can up and leave for whatever reason too. My uncle left his wife for his mistress because love. And that's valid I guess. Hurtful. But valid.

Alimony doesn't favor the woman. And most no fault divorces attempt to ensure one party isn't financially screwed. Also we live in a world now where women have assets and high powered jobs too. Trust me. I've seen it play out and both parties are scrambling to keep "their" money and assets.

Also child support favors no one. The person who doesn't have custody typically pays more, but now the child has limited access to them and that breeds resentment for the child and parents. The party who has custody has to devote their energies to raising the child fully AND their money goes to the child too.

I think you're trying to say that now men have no leverage? Whereas before their finances meant you stayed, now they have nothing?

That's false. Now it just means working on having a healthy relationship and being someone's other person for support and intimacy and love matters more. This is true for both people in the relationship.

[–]Haraklus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the vast majority of cases, women have an easier time getting sex from men than men do from women. Having a boyfriend on the hook to provide for her fulfills her 'material provider' instinct whilst allowing her to go out and have a bunch of casual sex to fulfill her 'genetic provider' instinct.

[–]Midday21 82 points83 points  (2 children)

It's refreshing to see a story like this, I like the sound of her former boyfriend. He seems like a no-nonsense type of guy and sticks to his principles.

More men need to adopt policies like his and have standards for themselves by not getting manipulated into an open relationship where your wife ends up banging 11 dudes and wants to close their relationship as soon as the dude gets a little action. Nip it in the bud and end it there if that kind of thing isn't for you.

[–]gg_s 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The word you seem to be looking for is boundaries. This man has set strong boundaries and enforces them without impunity (5-year relationship? doesn't matter). Every man should do as he does.

[–]mdadm 55 points56 points  (1 child)

This is easily the most red pill thing I've seen on this sub.

[–]FuckSakeReddit 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I know right, I want to buy this guy a beer and talk to him about life because I'd probably learn something

[–]RedPillScare 25 points26 points  (0 children)

It's never enough.

Here is her perfect boyfriend. She is arse over tits for him, but she still wants more. He handled it perfectly.

His implicit trust that she wanted only him was irreparably broken. Cutting his losses is the perfect description.

[–]anotherthrowawaybiff 42 points43 points  (5 children)

"Why did he leave me?"

He left because he correctly and instantly analyzed the situation and there was no good solution for him but leaving. What she wanted was the chance to see if she could "trade up" and snag a better guy while keeping current boyfriend on the hook as backup guy, if her efforts failed. That was it, it's really that simple.

If he said yes, he's a chump, and even if she can't manage to trade up she loses respect for him for being willing to play backup guy for her. If he says no, she resents him and cheats eventually, and he spends the relationship wondering if/when she's cheating.

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[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The only way to win is not to play

[–]LasherDeviance 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pure Data.

[–]Nemester 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Keep preaching brother. Tell it how it is.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're right... I mean unless he could pull high quality pussy night after night and honestly if he could she'd not be wanting the open relationship. She would be closing that relationship hard and fast to keep the alpha cock in her pussy.

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[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 8 points9 points  (1 child)

The red pill is bitter as fuck

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't chew it man. Swallow that shit. #AllBromo

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (2 children)

Now you may do as you wanted...sleep with other guys.

[–]kommissar_chaR 38 points39 points  (1 child)

She got exactly what she wanted, she just didn't get everything she wanted. Tough tits, haha!

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Tough tits, haha!

Well she's gonna need some soft tits if she wants to attract another beta provider since she's speeding towards the wall at 100MPH.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

"I just wanted to have some other experiences - is that really wrong?"

Gotta make it about herself, doesn't she.

[–]riskrowe 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's not all she wanted, she also wanted all the benefits of having a great boyfriend. But both is not an option, and like a spoiled little girl she can't comprehend that.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She's free to do so now. She just wanted her cake and to fart in it as well

[–]WiretapStudios 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right? Notice she didn't say "us" or even perhaps suggest a shared experience, such as second FEMALE, it was really all about her.

[–]realniggasstandup 169 points170 points  (13 children)

This is how every discussion like this should end.

Unfortunately niggas still come on internet and ask "guise, my girl said she wants an open relation but i don't, what should id o????"

Nigga I would dump that ho on the spot for even thinking about it, exactly what this nigga did. IF she's thinking about it, you know somethings wrong and it's best to get out the relationship asap. Only thing I would've done differently is kick her out the apartment instead of running away, but idk the status of their lease.

[–]bitcoin_lady 45 points46 points  (5 children)

Patrice words flowing through you.

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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did too

It made me sad.

RIP Patrice, we miss you

[–]the_red_scimitar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He took the L.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Bluepilled men have serious disadvantages in relationship dynamics. The idea of dumping her on the spot doesn't even occur to them. Like bringing a knife to a gun fight because it's more 'honorable"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Damn. This sums it up perfectly. This needs to become a TRP saying.

[–]edtofe01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About that ...

Watch "Too close - dont underestimate the knife" on YouTube Too close - dont underestimate the knife: http://youtu.be/9igSoJHEdUo

[–]MockingDead 6 points7 points  (1 child)

They should side bar that:

Thinking of letting your girl go polygamous? Read this and this!

[–]scoobydoes1[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thread/

[–]GenericUsername14 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are legitimately one of my favorite commenters on Reddit. Thanks for the laughs.

[–]selfsufficientnigga 40 points40 points [recovered]

This is all a bit too convenient, just a day ago we had an example of the opposite story (guy reporting about girlfriend pushing open relationship on him), and I think someone is running either a 'social experiment' here, or trying to pull a smear campaign on TheRedPill.

That being said, the bf from the story is one cool mofo. Real deal.

[–]Nemester 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of good heroes in fiction.

[–]madstatistician 18 points19 points  (7 children)

I kinda feel the same way. But really I'm just glad the polyamory "lifestyle" is getting exposed here as the blue pill shitshow it truly is. It's sugar-coated cuckolding dreamt up by "sex-positive" (read: slutty) feminists and sold to unsuspecting betas who reluctantly go along with it lest they not be seen as sexually progressive. Complete with newspeak gobbledygook that is the trademark of cultural Marxists.

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[–]WiretapStudios 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It works for me the majority of the time, every once in a while, it doesn't. The times it doesn't is when a woman wants you to be monogamous, after you have already been upfront and said that isn't your lifestyle. It's complex. I genuinely do give a fuck about people I'm in relationships with - I care about them like I would a girlfriend, but there are limits - which few women understand. Girls / women will cheat on their boyfriends with you, break up with them, then expect you to be monogamous and commit to them after they have literally just proven that they can't be trusted like that? No thank you. I'm comfortable with who I am, and selective about who I spend time with. I know that relationships are not a finite resource that you must protect like you'll die if they dissolve.

My stress level is at an all time low since I began this lifestyle a few years back, very little jealousy, and very little 'shit tests' work on me. If you want to act like a child and try and either use sex / the relationship as a bargaining tool, feel free to see yourself out. If you are upfront with me and we can talk like adults about things without insults and shit tests, awesome, this will be an ideal relationship.

[–]madstatistician 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I will readily admit that a small number of men make poly work for them (as opposed to working for poly).

It's just that for every one of those guys, I see several guys who have convinced themselves they are an Alpha boss who is totally unfazed by anything when in reality they are clearly scrambling to psychologically cope with a situation that has been dumped on them.

You see these guys flocking to relationship-oriented game blogs and forums all the time with the same story... "help, my wife opened our marriage and now she has three boyfriends and I can't get a date. How do I pick up chicks?" etc. It's just clear they are in over their heads.

Also anecdotally I've never seen a woman's online dating profile mention polyamory that didn't fit a certain stereotype... loudly identifies as feminist, skrillex haircut, trashy piercings and tattoos, attention whoring "burlesque"-styled amateur modeling. Frankly I just don't think desirable girls are into poly.

For guys who are truly "on the level" that they can make poly work for them, well, I don't even see why they need it. You don't need some big philosophical framework with discussion boards and support groups and complex made-up terminology to spin plates (actually you do: game). That whole aspect of it actually seems inherently female and reeks of the types of mob-mentality in-group support systems like feminism that women rely on to "empower" each other.

As a man, if you want to fuck multiple chicks you don't need metamours and NREs and compersion and whatever the fuck else. All of that shit is just hamster feed for women to console themselves "see? this is OK, I'm not a huge slut".

[–]WiretapStudios 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with you. I don't have a discussion board or framework, etc. I did do my research initially. The definitions and acronyms are of little use to me as well. I subscribe to /r/polyamory, but don't read it or identify with it much. Scheduling between multiple people on Google Calendar seems as much, if not more work than just having a wife / girlfriend.

The guys in those marriage situations were talked into it by their wife, and by that point, I'm sure weaned off their (probably low anyway) ability to get other women with ease. That's definitely tipped in the womans favor, as she has the ability to get men anytime (re: she has a pulse).

Oddly enough, I've never seen a profile with polyamory on it that fits your description, people in my area are a bit more discreet, and the person you are describing sounds like an attention-seeker, poly or not.

For an example scenario, woman contacts me from dating profile, she has a wife, her wife has a boyfriend (or couple, or whatever) and she is interested in talking. She's secure with her marriage, and needs nothing from me. This is ideal because there is someone doing the 'husband' part already, so this woman doesn't expect that from me, thus removing a LOT of emotional overhead, leaving it between us to hang out sometimes and have fun. There is no consoling, or self-delusion going on, because everything is understood and on the level with everyone. This is ideal for me, and my schedule. I have free time when I want it, and I don't have to be on the phone or up in someones face 24-7 to have an emotional or sexual bond with them.

[–]Haraklus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, polyamory was great for me until I beta'd down a bit and my ex started wanting to hook up / go out with other men. Until then, she was always feigning excitement at the prospect of hooking up with other women with me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've tag teamed bitches and did the swinger thing for a bit, even did a porno. Bitches ain't worth anything more than a hole between their legs. I could not give a fuck who they are fucking, but that's all they are ever gonna be to me. Fuck toys. Niggas gotta get the idea that there is any woman worth giving any investment to out there out of their head, because there isn't.

[–]WiretapStudios 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I understand your sentiment, it's not a complete "shitshow." If a woman is suggesting it to you because she wants other men, and that wasn't your agreement initially in the relationship, then that's not really polyamory per se, that is a relationship breach and I respect the guy in the story above seeing himself out the door. However, I'm upfront with women that I'm not monogamous, and they can feel free to do whatever they want - I just don't want to need to hear about it, or want to be involved with anyone elses drama with other people. I'm not sure you understand what polyamory is - although it does vary in meaning from person to person.

[–]WheelbugScaphism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree.

[–]crestingwave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't really buy it either. She's too perfectly clueless, and he's some kind of perfectly rational uber-mensch. Real life is a bit messier typically.

[–]MSoftHarem 35 points36 points  (3 children)

...and the comments aren't (too) insane. Am I on Reddit?

[–]RedPillScare 24 points25 points  (0 children)

The top comments are admirable within the context of reddit, and spectacular within the context of /r/relationships.

I wonder if TRP is seeping into the mainstream.

Then I wake up.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I want to quote my favourite one. Props to this guy.

You keep saying it would be "fair" and it would "go both ways"... but you seem to be forgetting the fact that he's monogamous and wouldn't want to sleep with other people, and therefore YOU would be the only one doing so. That makes it unfair.

I wouldn't have minded having new people in our sexual lives

No. It's not that you "wouldn't have minded". You actively wanted this, enough to bring it up seriously in conversation with the intention of persuading your boyfriend to embrace it and then to go ahead and sleep with other people.

I just figured that maybe I could open his mind to something different!

When it comes to something so personal and deeply ingrained as one's attitude toward monogamy, it's very difficult to get someone to change their mind just through presenting a situation and subsequently have them truly be okay with non-monogamy. And frankly, to suggest that you could do it so easily is kind of insulting. People very often have strong reasons for and emotions surrounding the values that they hold.

He also told me that I would be happier and better off if I didn't pretend to be somebody I wasn't when I started dating again.

Clearly, for him, it's an absolute must to have a girlfriend who is both monogamous AND not at all receptive to the idea of an open relationship. Because you've now shown that you don't fulfill the latter part of that requirement, he feels that you deceived him by omission. Perhaps he could've made his feelings more clear earlier on in the relationship, but the fact is that he didn't, and now here you are.

I just thought he would've been open to new things.

There's a difference between being open to trying new things within the parameters of your existing relationship, and being open to changing the entire definition of your relationship, what is acceptable in those bounds, and what you consider to be infidelity. Those are HUGE, relationship-upturning "new things".

It would be kind of like saying to your staunchly atheist boyfriend, "I want us to become actively practicing Christians. Wait, why is this a dealbreaker for you? I thought you'd be open to new things!"

It's unfortunate that your relationship ended so suddenly over something you view as such a minor issue, but if your ex-boyfriend continues to hold fast to his principles (and there's every reason to think that he will), you two are ultimately no longer compatible.

Sorry.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

my thoughts exactly ~

[–]RedSunBlue 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Most of my thoughts have already been covered here, but here's a few that haven't:

He's amazing - great job, family and friends love him, intelligent, attractive, supportive, and sex life is great.

She more or less described the perfect beta. I may be overanalyzing here, but "great job" (financially sound) and "family and friends love him" (wide support network) were the first qualities she mentioned, indicating that those canonically beta qualities are what she thinks of when she thinks of him.

I been with my boyfriend for five years.

I'm not going to pretend that he isn't a monogamous type of guy, because he is

His only answers were are you joking or are you serious? To which I said I was being serious and wanted to know how he felt about it.

This dummy has been with a guy for five years and still couldn't predict that asking him for permission to fuck other guys would end poorly.

If he said he wasn't comfortable with it I would have been okay with that but he never gave me a chance, he literally just broke up with me for bringing it up and he's never been like this before.

I would have been okay with that but he never gave me a chance

he never gave me a chance

I been with my boyfriend for five years.

MFW

[–]Thors_Cock 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That brings back some memories from my ex. It was pretty much the same situation, except we weren't married. 4 years. I'd spent a lot of energy and hard work getting our lives to work.

Then she began talking about an open relationship. I didn't pack straight away, but the day after. I had to go through all the ifs, thens, and maybe's in my head - but I reached the same conclusion the OP did:

my boyfriend apparently said that he's not throwing away anything, he's cutting his losses while he can.

There was nothing left to salvage. She cried a lot in the beginning, but she got over it a lot faster than I did. I'm glad I was the one who pulled the plug, because I learned a lot in the process. Damn did it hurt to hear her say that, though. But moving away so quickly saved me a lot of agony.

EDIT: When he says the he's cutting his losses while he can, he's saying that he suspected as much but gave her the benifit of the doubt. You always know it before you know it. There's a nagging feeling inside your head, that something just isn't right. She's pulling back. She's not interested in sex anymore. She doesn't seem to listen when you talk to her. She gets less emotionally involved.

[–]16 MGaiusScaevolus 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Good for him. That's how it's done gentlemen.

[–]toysjoe 43 points44 points  (2 children)

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 28 points29 points  (1 child)

This was precisely my reaction at,

"He then told me that I could sleep with whoever I wanted to sleep with, and to have a nice life."

Such an instant, no-nonsense shutdown. No wonder she was crying about this for days.

[–]cobramullet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is amazing, I am searing this into my brain as we speak because I am going through something similar.

Edit: mobile

[–]musicvita25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Absolutely brilliant post. Perhaps this needs to make the sidebar. A Pure example of when to walk away. I've lost count the times ive walked away, whether its a girl, a friend, whatever, sometimes you just got to walk away.

If you read carefully, everything was great. Sounded like a cool chill guy, sex great, made money, everything was perfect and she had to fuck it up.

I noticed this a few years ago, girls love drama. They love it. One girl I used to see faked an arguement with me because she was "bored at a party" so like these cunts are an absolute pain in the arse.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

One too many shit tests.

[–]pro_skub 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"...He's amazing - great job..."

lol

[–]peoplesuck357 24 points25 points  (16 children)

I like this guy, but anyway, one point that stuck out to me was how she wanted to sleep with other men and have it be "purely physical" as if that was some sort of consolation. If my SO had to have an affair, I'd strongly prefer it to be one of those sex-free "emotional" ones.

[–]Nemester 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Female solipsism. For them an emotional affair in their boyfriend is worse (risk of losing beta bucks). They don't see that it is more or less the opposite for men (raising someone else's kid).

[–] points points

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[–]Nemester 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Individuals instinctively want to maximize the resource investment in their own offspring. For women, this means convincing a man to invest in her children. To convince him to do this, there needs to be a corresponding emotional investment from him. It is that primary emotional investment which ultimately paves the way for the resource investment. If he switches the woman for which he has the emotional investment for, ultimately that could lead to less resources for her and her children. A one night stand is unlikely to lead to an emotional investment. So for a woman a man committing adultery in the form of a one night stand is by degree less onerous than getting a girlfriend on the side who he is emotionally invested in and may eventually financially invest in (diverting limited resources away from the original woman and her children).

From the man's perspective, he also wants to maximize the investment in his own offspring, but he faces a different challenge. This is largely due to the fact that he can have doubt on whether or not a child is his. From an evolutionary standpoint, investing in another man's child is about the worst thing that could happen. The most likely way for this to happen is that a girl he is emotionally invested in commits adultery and is impregnated unknown to beta bucks. This can happen when a woman has sex with any other man, ONS or otherwise. No amount of an emotional affair on the woman's part can result in this scenario. Therefore, by degree a woman committing physical adultery is more onerous to a man than an emotional affair.

[–]MockingDead 15 points16 points  (8 children)

the japanese have ot right. If a woman has sex with another man it's adultery, If a man shares his resources and emotions with another women, THAT's adultery.

A relationship utopia: Women have sex and want commitment. Men have commitment and want sex. as long as the girl trades her sex with only one man, she can have as much commitment as she can get. As long as the man commits to only one woman, he can have as much sex as he can get.

[–]Nemester 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Japanese what? Can you explain?

[–]MockingDead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm hunting it down. It was from a documentary. the basic premise was if a man has sex with a woman besides his wife, it's not adultery because it's "only sex".

Gimme a minute...

[–]MockingDead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't find it tonight. I will keep looking. I may be mis-remembering something and full of shit.

Edit: Closest I've found is this Gem about their Love Laws: http://www.economist.com/node/18771436

Edit: It may be from an old code

Edit3: I found the Civil Code: Minpo. I haven't gone through it as it's past my bedtime.

[–] points points

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[–]MockingDead 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Your new here, aren't you?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

My comment got delted, and I don't really remeber what exactly I wrote but just because I like to fuck women and improve my game I don't have to be misogynistic, I agree men and women are very diffrent and not equal in many aspects, but still they are equal to men in most ways and I don't agree with that Japanese comment if I were in a monogamous relationship i'd be fucking mad at my girlfriend, wife whatever if she commited to other men even without having sex with them and i think she would be rigthfully mad at me if I fucked other women without her consent. Monogamy is a social not a biological concept wheter it be commitment or sexwise and even though I don't want to be in a relationship and fuck as many women as possible, I still think taht the defintion of Monogamy should be the same for both sides.

[–]MockingDead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

K

[–]MockingDead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flip a coin, bot!

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Sorry but unlike men... Women do not have sex for 'purely physical' reasons. By the time a woman wants to fuck someone she's invested in them emotionally to an extent even if it's minor.

[–]Nemester 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to disagree. A woman can have sex for purely physical reasons if she instinctually feels there is an alpha with better genes, but she knows she can't secure the actual commitment.

[–]madstatistician 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's basically what a beta orbiter is... not uncommon at all.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

This following so fast on the heels of the last poly post we saw in here is making me think trolls are afoot. While amusing, I don't believe a single word of this. Even the tone is off: she does not sound distraught at all.

Can't wait for the update! I wonder what sub we will see embodied in its epiphany!

[–]WheelbugScaphism 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with you but it is certainly good for the cuckolds on relationshipadvice to see this.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Agreed. The post is a little too perfect, and it's not written the way a dumped woman would write it. The way she goes play-by-play and recalls and posts the exact words her boyfriend used, the exact words his friend and her friend used, the way her complete failure to understand what the big deal is isn't rationalized the way women rationalize things -- it's just plain vapid -- all of this points to a fabricated post to get a reaction.

That said, I'd definitely buy any guy who did this a case of beer, and pay shipping.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hah!

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[–]lazydonovan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oooh... red pill and justice porn in the same package!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I love how she listed "good job" as the first thing that's good about the guy. Says a lot.

[–]DarkCircle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So true. Lots of women do that.

[–]KGlitz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's amazing - great job...

The first thing she deems worthy about him is that he has a good job.

[–]madstatistician 23 points24 points  (3 children)

"Polyamory" is what you get when your society decides to stop slut-shaming.

Enjoy the decline, fellas.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Some free-range truth right here. Well said.

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[–]Haraklus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think I'm going to move to try to move to a patriarchal society. Hard to get into any place that isn't a shithole, though.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I've done nothing over the past few days except cry and cry and cry.

Good, being stupid should be painful.

[–]fuk_offe 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Wow... That's a guy with some spine. Props to him.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 12 points13 points  (1 child)

It's easy to have a spine when you're balls are still intact.

[–]Haraklus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

your balls are still intact

Otherwise 10/10 would upvote etc.

[–]DarkCircle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The person that wants to open the relationship should first allow the other person have sex with whoever they choose for a while. Then we can go from there.

She should let him bring home younger hotties, then after that we can talk about her banging other dudes.

[–]mslvr40 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But the friend did ask him if he's really going to throw away five years over something so small, to which my boyfriend apparently said that he's not throwing away anything, he's cutting his losses while he can.

This guy is my hero

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But the friend did ask him if he's really going to throw away five years over something so small,

Obviously the friend is female... I LAUGHED HARD WHEN I READ THIS. AHAHAHA so small... yeah cuz you know... wanting to fuck whatever guy you like in a monogamy is "something so small" LMFAO. Bitches and their logic.

The commenter /u/localidiot is also quite rightly a fucking idiot.

[–]Manuel_S 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd buy this guy drinks all night long for the good feeling he gave me:

Sometimes there is justice.

[–]QQ_L2P 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to bore you with long blocks of text

Cool.

Scrolls down

... Fuck it.

[–]Letesse 13 points14 points  (1 child)

The guy has still got to stay strong cus she's not gonna leave him alone. Also lucky there's no kids/marriage involved...situation gets way way harder to deal with....in my experience

[–]lazydonovan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Change your phone number and leave instructions at the office that she is not permitted on the premesis under any circumstances.

[–]angryadult 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Man, I just love the comments knocking her down. Even the white knights of reddit couldn't save her.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

White knights in their Cottonelle armor and their dildo swords.

[–]Endorsed Contributor30303030303030 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text so here goes. I been with my boyfriend for five years. He's amazing - great job, family and friends love him, intelligent, attractive, supportive, and sex life is great. One of the important points is that we do not fight at all, and he's quite firm about this - he thinks fighting is a waste of time and for children. I learnt that early on in the relationship and realized it's something I've grown to agree with even though I hated it at first - we always sit down, discuss and talk about issues, and are able to reach compromises.

yet, apparently not good enough

If he said he wasn't comfortable with it I would have been okay with that but he never gave me a chance, he literally just broke up with me for bringing it up and he's never been like this before.

Are all women that fucking stupid?

But the friend did ask him if he's really going to throw away five years over something so smal

Small? You just asked him if you can suck other dick and then come back and cuddle with him... Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with women these days?

She can have all the "other experiences" she wants now, but there is no perfect beta at home anymore. And she doesn't want it like that.

Anyway, salute for this for having a back bone. He will replace that bitch in no time.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I enjoy that sub quite a bit. I do not automatically side with one gender or another I call it like I see it.

But damn, that girl has no clue. And she is trying to go to his work?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

"But, how is it possible for this thing to be triggered automatically, and at the same time impossible to untrigger?"

"Mr. President, it is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing."

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

All love is strange, for sure.

[–]caius_iulius_caesar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ten females for each male

[–]through_a_ways 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The only way to keep your dignity.

The less power you give a girl, the more she wants you.

[–]redpillshadow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All the top comments there are redpill. Amazing.

[–]ReturnThroughAether 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And this, folks, is how you handle that scenario. My man!

[–]secularist42 5 points6 points  (1 child)

and she deleted it...of course.

[–]Endorsed Contributor30303030303030 7 points8 points  (0 children)

not much man shaming in comments, that bitch doesn't get what she wants lately ;)

[–]hashtagpound2point2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to have some other experiences - is that really wrong?

It wasn't wrong of her, she can go after what she wants. She just shouldn't be surprised that she can't have her cock and eat it too. There's no way this girl didn't already have 1 or 2 guys lined up to bang the labias off of her.

You have a great sex life and it sounds like a great life overall for 5 years with this guy and now you just randomly want to try fucking other people for 'new experiences'? New experiences is a person, and it's the new guy from work that resembles Jake Gyllenhaal.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good on him. Once a woman asks about an open relationship it's over, sooner or later: she wants to fuck other guys, and thinks that's okay, period. To those thinking "you could just say no!" it doesn't end like that. This is the beginning of the end, and OP made it the end of the end real fast. Much respect.

Also keep in mind that feminist groups are working to make it so that women can leave these types of situations with cash and prizes via common law marriage: in a lot of states if they had lived together for 2-3 years, she'd be getting a big paycheck on her way out the door.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This bitch is twisted. No stable individual can actually believe that rationale. The pity party she's throwing is for the complete wrong person.

[–]DafyddBreen 11 points12 points  (0 children)

ALL BITCHES ARE CRAZY!

[–]MockingDead 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I just thought he would have been open to new things. I don't understand why he would just cut me off without even giving me an explanation

Classic narcissism. I want to sleep around, but I'll phrase it like it would be beneficial to him.

PR and Sales, take careful notes.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Open to new things" doesn't mean "open to sucking another man's jizz out of your pussy" ho!

[–]ssddnc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I would have reacted the same way. I dont have time for someone who says everything is perfect then wants to tramp it up. Nore do I want to waste my free time reserved for my wife trying to track down some strange while she opens up the door to every swinging dick that looks at her. A+ for that guy and all of you that support him

[–]Opioidus 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Is it possible that this was just a shit test? I mean the fact that she's ''hurting all over'' might suggest it was a massive shit test dumped on the guy because he was a natural who turned semi-beta in the long run(as all men do, with time, men get attached and women get detached). Anyway this is the stuff of legends and signs of the great awakening that's on its way.

[–]magicalbird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sweet sweet justice

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this just gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I love happy endings

[–]LasherDeviance 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can't help but think that this is another one of those troll posts like the one from yesterday. It just seems to surreal to find so many slamming posts like this in such a short amount of time.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That guys sounds awesome.

[–]slippery_people 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That really made my day.

[–]lookiamapollo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wow that is a man sticking to his guns.

[–]ambientmf 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Seems a bit too good to be true tbh

[–]WheelbugScaphism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why? It is exactly what I just did recently albeit in a much more tortured sort of way, but with the same end effect of cutting losses.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THAT NIGGA IS A G!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]Jovianmoons 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I cant help but wonder what would have happened if she had said she wanted to sleep with other women, while still being supported by him. I imagine everyone would be more supportive of that somehow, though it would still suck in the end.

[–]Boss_Monkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our disgust comes from our Biology. Other women can not impregnate her, other men can. It is the male biological imperative to be disgusted at female partners who 'open' relations to other men. Spending one's resources to raise another man's biological child is a losing script, biologically speaking.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This put a huge smile on my face. Thanks OP

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a hero. Amazing. I just stood up and applauded.

[–]Sworn_to_Ganondorf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boss aint takin NO shit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the biggest justice boner right now.

I wish I knew the guy, he sounds like a very good friend. I'd buy him a drink at the very least.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha. Bitch got what she deserved, how fucking retarded do you have to be to tell your SO they aren't good enough in bed and humiliate them?...too fucking perfect, probably a fake story. She will be alpha widowed for life and ruined for all future relationships, might as well an hero.

[–]Doomsday_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text so here goes.

LIES!

[–]dub121686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was a good read. Thank you for sharing.

[–]pawt_enthusiast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems kindof fake

[–]theBergmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'Ata boy!

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]gopher88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

use the username ;)

[–]1KissTheBridesmaid -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Somebody from this sub is obviously starting threads with made up scenarios. Seriously guys, leave the trolling to TBP, this is pathetic.

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