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[–]squarehouse[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I like these kinds of experiments, mainly because it does show how entitled women have become conditioned to be. When women say that they are getting nothing but dick pics, boring messages, and crude messages on dating sites don't believe them. I was on /r/okcupid for a while, and learned quickly not to follow the advice from the men or the women there, the men there are mostly deluded by the women there.

Essential reading:

But what I did learn from /r/okcupid was from the men there who told the rest that their profiles/messages were working, they were getting a lot of interest and a decent number of replies.

Here's basically the untold advice for online dating:

  • Locale is everything. You can't really compare the amount of interest different profiles are getting unless they are in comparable locales. Being in a top-ten city in the United States like NYC is a gold mine for men. Anywhere else, you obviously need to use online dating as a supplement to real life encounters.

  • Your picture is 80% of your profile. Women will chime in en mass to say how they are looking for a funny profile or whatever, but here's the thing: Delete every photo of you that isn't a great picture of you. Your pictures should be interesting. No self-shots, mirror shots, or dull pictures of you posing for the camera on vacation. Interesting profile pictures are actually uncommon pictures. For instance, a lot of guys are putting pictures of them skydiving. Guess what, you probably don't want to put that picture up if it's becoming cliche.

  • Your profile should provoke an emotional reaction. One guy on /r/okcupid was getting lots of interest and messages, and it was because his profile was funny. If you can't do funny, do something else. If your life is tragic, put tragedy in your profile. Look, you're not going to appeal to every woman no matter how you write your profile, but tragic is better than boring. The mistake is taking the profile literally and simply writing about yourself. In fact, the less information you actually put on your profile the better.

  • In your messages, make sure to adopt a screening frame. Basically, you need to know what you're looking for. You seem "desperate" only to the degree that you seem to be "looking for anything". Pretend you didn't see her profile, and know nothing about her, and you're trying to figure out if you actually want to meet her. Also pretend you're looking for a long term partner. Be willing to break rapport and even reject her. I didn't have any luck on POF until I rejected a few women on there to really calibrate right.

  • Also, stop clicking on her profile. If you have to, copy/paste her profile into a text file the first time you message her. I found out after the fact that women on POF at least are told when a guy is showing a lot of interest in her profile, and you can usually tell generally when someone is always the last one who viewed your profile. Anonymous browsing makes the $10/mo fee to subscribe to OkC worth it. Clicking her profile multiple times is DLV.

[–]pk_atheist 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Locale is everything.

As somebody who has a lot of success in meatspace, I can concur that I get almost zero luck on OKC to the point where I felt like it was degrading. I'm guessing it has something to do with the 10:1 guy to girl ratio around here.

[–]squarehouse[S] 0 points1 point [recovered] (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I agree that online dating sucks for men, and it is degrading.

[–]pickup_sticks0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I meet lots of girl online. I admit they're not as hot as I meet IRL, but many of them are quite attractive.

Edit to add: I met my (now ex-)wife on Match.com

[–]pk_atheist 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I suspect it's a difference in area. I wrote this in another comment somewhere, but basically, there's a 10:1 ratio guy to girl ratio around me, so the 3 worthwhile chicks already have enough penises to have a new guy every day until they hit 30.

[–]pickup_sticks0 points1 point [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

Naw, I know guys all over who do well. The trick is to make your profile attractive and send short messages that mention something in their profile. Girls aren't looking for penises, they're looking for a man.

[–]pk_atheist 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I know guys who do well in some locales. No doubt. But never underestimate the power of a local marketplace.

Give me three minutes in a bar to take women's temperatures, and I bet I could accurately predict the men to women ratio on their local online dating site. It really is very connected.

[–]pickup_sticks0 points1 point [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you give me an example locale? I know guys who do very well in New York, Los Angeles and London.

[–]pickup_sticks-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is not a valid experiment. This kind of thing doesn't happen on OkCupid. Post an ad on Craigslist if you want to see dick pics.

I've gotten good results on Craigslist by posting a cool photo and promising not to send dick or ab pics.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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