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[–]TheWrongStuff123[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"In the current study, researchers expected to find that fathers, more so than mothers, would be less accepting of sons who are gender-nonconforming than daughters and that gender-nonconformity in general would correspond with parent discomfort. Additionally, those parents who believe their parenting style to be more feminist or socially equal would express more comfortability with a gender-nonconforming child. As such, researchers aimed to identify characteristics that compel parents to make efforts to change their child’s behavior. Again, the prediction was that parents would be more likely to change boys’ behavior than girls’.

An online survey completed by 151 mothers and 85 fathers living in Salt Lake City, Utah reported on 156 children age 3 to 13. The survey included questions relating to parenting style, parent gender atypical traits, attitude toward gender roles, and the prevalence of their own children’s gender-nonconforming behaviors.

As expected, parents report girls engage in gender-nonconforming behavior more than boys. In accordance with past research, results of the current study reveal parents are more uncomfortable with boys engaging in gender-nonconforming behavior than girls and make attempts to change the behavior more often. Contrary to other research however, this study shows mothers and fathers are equally likely to try and change their sons’ behaviors. Nevertheless, they are okay with their sons having girls as playmates and with daughters playing “boy” games.

Although initially researchers presumed parents’ warmth toward their children would be an indicator of acceptance of gender-nonconforming behavior, the study shows otherwise. Parents who report greater warmth also say they make more attempts to change their child’s behavior if it does not align with societal expectations."

Bold is done by me. I saw this on the front page from r/science, as expected the vast majority of the comments were deleted (I don't know what kind of gay rules they have over there), but I did see the typical reddit explanations: "This is because we don't have an equal enough society! Feminism doesn't care about boys! Nobody cares about boys' feelings!" While I think these are true in a superficial sense, I think these double standards reveal something far more deep about why parents behave in the way they do towards sons and daughters.

I start with the assumption that parents care about how their children turn out, at least the majority of them. Most parents want their kids to be productive, happy citizens with healthy relationships, I don't think they do things to purposely sabotage their children.

I think parents don't care about girl's lack of adherence to gendered behavior because it doesn't fundamentally matter how girls behave. If a girl is healthy and looks okay, she can and will find a decent guy. The quality of guy a girl can find if she likes to play basketball vs if she likes to go to fashion shows seems to be no different. However, from the parent's perspective, guys have objective standards they need to meet if they want to find a partner or be sexually successful. If a guy makes a lot of money, or if he's a great athlete, or if he acts like a pussy, this DOES have an effect on the quality and quantity of partners he will have. Parents deep down know this, they might not articulate it like this, and I think more superficial people would say this is an example of a female dominated society or unconscious bias against men, but to me it's just an acknowledgement that those male gendered behaviors are necessary to get a partner.

[–]bonerwashington28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Expectations for females are, rightly, lower. That's across all ages. See what punishment men and women get for the same crimes. It's AMAZING. Women get a free pass through all of life. The end

[–]dnkndnts18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's amusing that so much of feminism advocates making things easier for women when the entire reason females have difficulty competing with males in the first place is their coasting through evolutionary history without being constantly subject to intense competition.

Something something ask not for a light burden, but the strength to bear a heavy one.

[–]bonerwashington6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you teach a man to fish, he would still prefer to be given a fish. The predicament has been brought about by loser dudes give away their fish tryin to curry favor with girls who friendzone them while TyroChad raw dogs them at a party.

[–]Spacejams112 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Explains why the whole phase of a "tomboy" doesn't really have a Male equivalent. A feminine little boy is much more likey to be seen as a homo in training than than anything else

[–]DivaHustlerPrincess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha

[–]Zakronovich25 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Biologically speaking this makes a lot of sense, as the males need to overcome their competitors in whatever the females value. Usually, males who are masculine would have a higher chance of finding a partner.

[–]Swole_Prole0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

“Whatever the females value” is the key word here. Of course there is literally nothing masculine about a plastic automobile or feminine about a pink horse toy. What matters is the social umbrella of “masculine” habits and behaviors at any given time period and cultural setting. Most of the world follows or is influenced by a western, global metaculture, so we don’t see too much of that variance.

[–]SophisticatedBean0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Does anyone have access to the study? I would like to see the effect sizes.

Someone on /r/scholar was so kind to send me a copy. Looks like a medium effect size, but they don't provide an effect size explicitly. Looks like fathers are rather the ones who are unconfortable with non-conforming boys.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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