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Best friend (24M) has proposed to single mother (42F) he’s known for 5 months (self.asktrp)

submitted by thoughtful_duck

I’ll keep this as short as possible.

I’m a longtime lurker of this sub but this is my first post since I could do with some advice.

As title suggests- one of my closest friends I have known since childhood has got himself smitten with a much older divorcee single mother. He met her at his new job around 5 months ago. She was his manager but he has since moved to another job with a higher position.

He is by no means unattractive. He had his finances in order, had a great physique, and had just finished his university degree before finding his new job. (He has since stopped lifting because ‘she misses him while he’s gone’).

She is fairly attractive for her age and she’s well off in a high paying job and generally doesn’t need anyone to provide for her financially. She has two kids from her previous marriage- ages 13 and 12 whom he takes to school every morning.

Their relationship has progressed at a rapid pace and her intentions were made clear from the start. It’s almost as if she was the predator and he was the prey. She captured him into her web and he didn’t even try to escape. I am fairly certain she was his first sexual experience. They had a pregnancy scare 1 month in. 2 months in and he’s living with her and paying half of her mortgage. And now here we are at 5 months in. I would be lying to myself if I said I didn’t see it coming.

He has proposed to her. Knee down, ring up.

It happened over Easter and I’m the only person he has told. He’s the ‘happiest he’s ever been’ and ‘it’s meant to be’. How fucking depressing. I had warned him at the very start not to get serious with her. We all know exactly how this one will play out, don’t we?

What if he asks me to be best man? How can I support something I know is bad for him?

So fellas. Where do I draw the line between being a supportive friend and being redpill aware and being against marriage- especially to a divorced single mother 20 years his senior?

Edit: he has just asked me if I would attend. What would you do in my position?


[–]ramaga262 points263 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Everyone on this sub knows how the trainwreck you describe is going to eventually end, so I'll address the question of whether you should attend the wedding.

In a word, yes.

Despite the fact he's about to ruin his life, your friend is still that--your friend. If there's anything my 40+ years have taught me, it's that you should cling to your friends for dear life. They're hard to come by.

If your friend did something to hurt you, maybe then you'd stop being his friend and supporting him, depending on the severity of the infraction.

But the wedding is hurting him, not you.

Go to the wedding. If you don't, your friend will hold it against you forever.

(And on a pragmatic, getting-your-dick-wet note, weddings are a great place to pick up chicks.)

[–]confusedpoptart50 points51 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Answers like this are what RP is about. Brotherhood and the bond you maintain. Girls come and go, if she goes, at least he'll still have you.

[–]fr33wh33l5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Don't abandon him because of the possibility she's rotten. If the relationship is legit then you'll feel like a real asshole, not to mention you'll be hoping for it to fail the whole time which will certainly affect the friendship.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 64 points65 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for the insight-appreciated. Your last point isn’t wrong either.

[–]TheRedPillRipper21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How can I support something I know is bad for him?

u/ramaga has the right of it. Support your friend u/thoughtful_duck and attend his wedding. After you've made a rational case to him about why he shouldn't necessarily rush into it. In your situation I'd make the effort to take him out; socialise and enjoy as many social events; with girls your own age. The fit young plates you're spinning. Party and game girls and make him your wing. Give him a differing frame of reference.

Depending on the time frame encourage him to talk about kids; if he want's his own? How would it work with his fiancé approaching menopause? Ask him "You're young; if you want kids is this why you're RUSHING things? If you're CERTAIN after only 5 months I'm happy for you. I don't think I'd be certain at 34 let alone 24.." Raise rational issues that arise in every relationship and ask how he plans to handle them? Get him opening up about his future plans. Travelling? Living abroad? Talk about how you envision "growing old with your partner and how special that would be.

The trick to steering doubt into his relationship u/thoughtful_duck is NOT to attack his relationship directly. Talk about everything else but DON'T highlight the obvious negatives. Spin them positively but rationally; How she's a solid single mother with a career. In her PRIME cougar years. That her kids will be in college in a couple of years and she'll have her freedom back. Highlight the issues positively of someone in THAT stage of her life. Then make the obvious comparisons. IF he asks for your advice; be honest. You want to see him happy but you have doubts. That he's at the beginning of his life; she's almost got half a century under her belt and that concerns you MOST. If you were in his situation; you'd be cautious and have a VERY, VERY, VERY LONG engagement. Because if anything else; he has time.

It's a difficult situation and I'd urge being cautious and preparing well when attempting to save your friend. Always keep the dialogue POSITIVE. You may have already attempted all of these and come up with nada. At the end of the day it sounds like your friend is firmly in the honeymoon period. Helping him out of it; in a rational manner may not save him; but at least when she show's him AWALT; he'll remember you tried really hard to prevent him from a huge mistake.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]Innovi2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

(And on a pragmatic, getting-your-dick-wet note, weddings are a great place to pick up chicks.)

I didn't attend many weddings, so I'm curious about this one. I was under the impression that most of the women there came with a guy, and while obviously it's not impossible to pick up such chick, isn't that still harder and takes more effort than just picking up chicks in a club?

[–]ac7141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has been my experience each time but I read online and in movies that the opposite is common. Guess it depends if the party goes late, it's a younger crowd, and everyone's drinking. It just seems all to Hollywood and hearsay for me to take the claim as more than a common misconception. It's hardly the easy and plentiful opportunity it's often set up as.

[–]TheRedPillRipper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The last wedding I went to was my nephew's. I had this one woman in her 20's ALL NIGHT trying to hit me up. In front of my current. No guesses that we had quite a fuck session when we got back to our hotel so that was nice.

Cyndie Lauper said it best; like a little alcohol, a little romance and girls just wanna have fun.

[–]oooKenshiooo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As a wedding singer, I can confirm. I attend about 10-20 weddings a year and I could smash at about half of them with zero effort.

[–]cuteman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's only 24. He isn't ruining his life.

He will however learn some lessons first hand.

[–]Retstortion194 points195 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Lmao, RIP.

[–]TopOccasion2936 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My immediate reaction when i read this as well.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My reaction when he text me ‘Guess what’

[–]jackandjill224 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right.

[–]apoc205011 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah no shit, that boy bout to get torn up.

[–]jackandjill226 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I literally burst out laughing to the point of echoing in my room just by reading the title.

[–]Neymars_Lawyer_AMA47 points48 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can warn him but its pretty pointless. He's gonna have to learn a very hard and painful life lesson.

[–]TopOccasion2947 points48 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol go to the wedding. Have some fun and celebrate with your friend. He'll learn the hard way like most men do and will come back bawling his eyes out when the whole thing becomes a disaster. I would've thought he would chose a better prospect like a young woman his age with no kids or baggage but he decides to go for a divorced single mother of 2?...ewww.

As long as he isn't disrespectful to you, be there for him when shit hits the fan and throw redpills his way. Been there before. My buddy was dating a 36yr old single mother of 3 from 3 different men LMAO. I warned him he didn't listen, but when shit hit the fan and she played him like a fool, he was devastated. I was there for him, he was my friend and he didn't do anything disrespectful to me.

[–]redeye_banana17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

^ this

Be a good mate, attend the wedding. Don't lecture RP truths to him, as you'll just lose him as a friend.

It'll explode down the line, cost him a fortune, but he'll need friends to help him get over it.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet40 points41 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Advice: Be the best man. Support your bro.

Then buy popcorn.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

All we can do is watch huh?

[–]wontonloup826 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh boy.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s almost as if she was the predator and he was the prey.

There is no "almost" about it.

What should you do? Go, celebrate, etc. You're not going to see him much after the wedding...Until the divorce, that is. Also, he's going to gain a lot of weight and turn into a ball of pudge from eating crap food and not exercising. And he's basically paying "rent" with the money he's putting toward her mortgage. Not that he should GET put on the mortgage, but that's what it amounts to.

There's so much "wrong" going on here, but you did your duty as his friend and told him not to stomp on his own cock and he did it anyway. He's finished. Be polite, enjoy the reception, and catch up with him when it all comes crashing down.

[–]Bruchibre15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One minute of silence for lost brother.

Damn she could be his mother, she's 18 years older. In the end it's just an odd couple, look at the French president.

You told him what you thought. You've done your duty. Now yes, attend the wedding, he's still your friend.

Live and let die.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You cannot play Captain SaveABro. He will not listen.

No one can be saved from anything until they realize they need saving.

[–]unn4med0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You just clarified what I’ve been thinking for the last 2 years..

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed48 points49 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

We all see this trainwreck in slow motion.

But all he sees is a clear track, sunny skies, and the best pussy he's ever had.

You can't help someone who is adamant they don't need help.

Read this.

Now this...

“The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.”

And this...

“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!"

finally....

"No lieutenant, your men are already dead."

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 7 points8 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Great reply. You get it. Would you attend the wedding in my position?

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed54 points55 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I'd go get him laid multiple times at several bachelor parties with the hottest youngest sluts you can afford.

Then, if it's still on, I'd go to his wedding because it's not about you, or trp... it's about your childhood friend.. Keep your whore mouth shut, enjoy the festivities... it's what they both want.

Then I'd let him sleep on my couch when he finally comes to his senses down the line.

Don't hate betas for being betas, just understand what that worldview limits them to.

He's probably going to massively cut back his time with you because of the love bombing and captive pussy he's getting anyway.

For a few months.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Sadly true. Heard from him less than ever in the last 5 months of love bombing.

[–]omega_dawg9315 points16 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

that's bc the relationship is new and he's got a mouf full of pussy.

but when that 'new-ness' wears off and all that fucking stops... and when her age starts showing in her face/neck, and when he hits HIS prime years (28-35) for snagging top-notch women, there's gonna be tuuuuuurmoil in that house.

his parents, esp. his father, should be stepping-in and stepping-up to prevent this disaster.

my advice to OP: chill in the background and bang her MILF friends.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 14 points15 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

From what he has told me- his mother is not happy with it at all. He hasn’t told her about the pregnancy scare or proposal yet. I asked my mother what she would do if it were me and her answer said it all really:

“I’d call you a fucking idiot”

[–]omega_dawg932 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

geez... he's had a pregnancy scare with her too? that might be the reason he proposed.

maybe if she's not pregnant, he'll come to his senses... but right now, he's cumming and not making sense.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah about a month into knowing her.

She’s told him she wants his kids.

Honestly depressing.

[–]hazelstein2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

42 . Cant have kids after 40 right?

This is a trap.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s possible but significantly more risky to the health of the child.

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

damn.

[–]Bear-With-Bit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And when the friend arrives on your couch, have a copy of The Rational Male ready. "You can stay here as long as you like but you have to fucking read this."

[–]innerissuesorjail2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

id probably stay in home and watch anime

[–]aaveshdagar0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Suggest some , i have already watched Deathnote , My Hero Academia , Code Geass , DB series and many others

[–]Kyoruzo4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is this anime called Boku no Pico I really liked that one.

[–]innerissuesorjail2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

rainbow (the one about jail), fate zero, fate stay night. HXH also good. naruto 1s, 2s (both without fillers).

[–]ultimatrev6661 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Berserk, Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex (1st one and 2nd Gig), Witch Hunter Robin, Fairy Tail, Black Clover

[–]jackandjill226 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A 42 y/o is the best pussy he's ever had? Jesus. How bad is the sexual inequality in this society?

[–]TopOccasion292 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

80/20 rule but with that being said..some of the best pussy i've got was older women. As much as i prefer younger thinner women, older women with mature thighs are sweet too.

[–]surrealismen10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

just be there for him when he falls. thats the best you can do.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Same thing is happening with my childhood best friend as well. He's 23 and met a 33yo divorced single mom and is absolutely obsessed with her. And this is coming from a guy who redpilled me from the time we were teenagers by saying that "true love" is an illusion.

He's studying in a great uni doing his masters in engineering and doesn't realise that this woman just wants to lock him down and she's performing an act to manipulate him. You can't explain this stuff to him. He's too far down the rabbit hole.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sad isn’t it?

[–]beginner_12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Edit: he has just asked me if I would attend. What would you do in my position?

Take one for the team. Attend, bang her and film it and show it to him. /s

Even that would probably not make him change his mind.

[–]TopOccasion294 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol once a young man is smitten by "love" especially in the honeymoon phase, there's no bringing him back or convincing him the woman is a bad idea. I think we've all been there both as the friend and as the blind dude.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. I think we have all been there hence ending up on this forum. Maybe that’s why I feel so defensive about it all.

[–]Sendmeloveletters[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Actually this is a good move. He’ll be mad at you but not for as long as he’ll be heartbroken over her.

[–]Snowaey5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yea start making his tombstone

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Man City just won the premier league op. I’m depressed as fuck

[–]SupremeBBC2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😂

[–]DerpJungler1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Respect to you guys tho, insane season and I'm actually supporting you in the CL final. (City fan)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man. Never thought this sub would have any football fans as it’s mostly Americans who dont know anything about footy unless you’re an American footy fan haha. City deserved to win it. Feel gutted about getting 97 points and not winning it but CL win would make up for it. I’m sure you guys would want the CL more than the Prem.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LMAO

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

SAME1 :"(

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Reckon we will win the champions league

[–]hazelstein1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

u supporting spurs xD

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Liverpool 😁 Guessing you support spurs?

[–]loloLogic5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell his parents if they don't know. Tell fucking everyone. Let the chorus of reason and disgust sing from the heavens

[–]drqxx4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Rule #2 Don't raise bastards!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As others have said, there's really nothing you can do. Male and female hamsters go into overdrive when a third party tries to break up the relationship. I always pretend to be optimistic/supportive even if I know it's going to go down in flames. Making them feel like they're in a Romeo and Juliet situation just makes the relationship last longer.

I am fairly certain she was his first sexual experience

First sexual experiences have a bigger impact on the psyche than people think. I'd wager that even if he breaks up with her, his next girlfriend will also be older.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That Romeo and Juliet part is interesting. Never thought of it like that before. An ‘us against the world’ type scenario.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was a groomsman at my friend's wedding a few months ago. You aren't going to change his mind, so celebrate his happiness with him while it lasts.

[–]menial_optimist11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If I was in this position and was asked to be the best man, I would refuse. Of course he would sever the friendship, as most weaklings choose pussy over friends. You should treat this as your friendship being put on the backburner. It's possible that within however many years it takes for things to self destruct, he will call you up again and admit you were right, at which point you should be supportive. This woman is probably pulling out all the classic manipulation techniques and he, being inexperienced, is failing to pass every one of them.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Good points. Would you attend the wedding in my position?

[–]slamdunktiger86-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

No. For his future sanity, he needs to see strength in you and not helping enable his bad beta behavior.

[–]SupremeBBC8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol how is attending his friend's wedding enabling anything? The wedding would go on regardless of his attendance, but his friend would never forget him missing it (even if we assume he realizes eventually that the choice to marry the woman was wrong)

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

this

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The friendship has not been intentionally damaged. it's more like a friend who has been brainwashed by the enemy. you don't have to join them in their insanity but you need to be there for them for special events like this until they finally wake the fuck up.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It seems almost no one has answered your question. There's nothing you could do to prevent that wedding, he's already fucked. Nonetheless, be very brutal to him and tell him he's destroying his life. In spite of this, I'd go to the wedding. He's your friend, and your duty as friend is to be there.

[–]scanfan20222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's a lost cause OP.

[–]aucunejus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

there could be a best case scenario happening in his case, but there are so many variables its very unlikely.

[–]Beegoop2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pour one out for this idiot.

Go to the wedding, try to have fun, dip out when you're done. You risk losing him as a friend if you try talking some RP sense into him since he's that fucking whipped and taking care of kids that could be his siblings.

On the other hand, he may come around, but it doesn't matter because no matter what a marriage can only end in one way. Hard lesson for him to learn, a valuable lesson that cements the knowledge for you.

Not much you can do except watch it slowly crash and burn.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most people learn by experience unfortunately.

[–]F_Dingo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Time for a fucking intervention. How many mutual friends do you have? You need to have a frank, man-to-man discussion with him. His head has gotten blown up by pussy.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

F

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

What is more depressing about this post is that this guy's friend is attractive, lifts, has a career, and a job. Yet, he could only lose his virginity at 24. The standards women have nowadays are just getting ridiculous.

[–]Captain_Quick 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy Link

I don't think it's low standards, I think it's a lack of guts as far as asking women out on the friend's part. OP said that the fiance was very aggressive with the relationship. She probably initiated everything and the friend probably had been sitting around waiting for somebody to do that.

[–]Greaterbird5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think it's a lack of guts as far as asking women out on the friend's part.

Turns out when you teach men that asking women out is wrong and creepy, guys stop asking women out.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's actually correlated with my statement. He's evidently not going to approach any woman. What I'm saying is that this guy's credentials would have been enough 20 years ago for some women to approach him and do the hard work. Nowadays, not so much. Why would they bother if they can get a hotter one on tinder?

[–]BIitheFooI3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You sound so bitter lol. At the end of the day he’s the man. Men make their will reality. And if the woman doesn’t want to comply, easy - find another who will. Being bitter about a girl not being masculine is idiotic.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh no. I'm not bitter at all. I understand reality and I deal with it, it doesn't affect me. Same for other things. I know there's poverty in the world, it just doesn't mean that I have to agree with it.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s interesting because he’s actually very confident. Worked as a personal trainer for years. Can talk to anyone and anything for however long. I honestly thought he could be gay for a period of time. He’s the last person I thought would end up in this sort of shitshow.

[–]Casanova-Quinn2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not necessarily high standards. Attractive guys with good careers can be unsuccessful with women simply because they don't have good mental or verbal game. A lot of guys ruin their chances as soon as they open their mouthes.

[–]goomerall31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking he'll...

[–]whatdidyousaynigga1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lmao please say sike

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sike!

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's the wrong number

[–]Casanova-Quinn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If he's oblivious enough to do this, you can't do much other than hope the inevitable divorce happens sooner than later.

[–]Ivabighairy11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go! Have a good time. If he gets cold feet make sure your car is tuned, full of gas, and the battery is good for a quick getaway. Nothing you can do about it so make the best of it.

[–]Protocol_Apollo3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

42?? Jesus Christ, at least 32 is alright (far from ideal but a little workable)

All I have to say is this:

Shitshow incoming, take cover!

[–]3chazthundergut1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would tell him that I think he is making a terrible mistake, but I would attend the wedding if he asked me to because that is the good friend thing to do

[–]UsefulPsychology0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy shit

[–]benedictineasu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Clown world

[–]Siccunt990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best case scenario(almost impossible),he goes full alpha with her,handles her well and get stuck with 60 year old hag in his early 40's,he'll probably be whiping her ass by the time he is 50.

But the actual best acenario would be her cheating on him while her kids give him shit,and he becoming redpilled and loosing bit of money,time and soul.

[–]Noctis_Cloud0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m sorry, but your friend is a dumb ass

[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We all were at one point.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The real issue here is why. why has he chosen such an older woman with kids, when his options extend to better situations?

find the root cause in his psyche. which is going to be very hard to do without driving him away because he is currently brainwashed. there is something about him, about the belief system he has developed, that has presented a hook to a predator like this old bag.

if you can find that hook and indirectly get him to question it (which is the work of a fucking psychologist so good luck) then he might be saved.

but I'm 99% sure that's not possible now. not based on what you described.

so try to love him like you would a victim of brainwashing or a victim of kidnapping. even though yeah he is ultimately responsible. and when she finally gives him the heel be there to lead him through the pearly red pill gates.

[–]smhfamswag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

what a retard

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go and have a great time. Don’t even try to change him. Meet some cute girls at the wedding

[–]atrejomtnz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My friend did something similar. In short, I did tell him that I disagreed with his decision but if it was what made him happy them so be it. If they divorce, your friend will, hopefully, learn a lesson like my friend did. But yeah definitely attend.

[–]ogkushinjapan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ask him to divorce rape her haha. Never try never know.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wonder what advice a lawyer would give? Don't adopt the kid? Make sure he has separate accounts? Make sure there's a pre-nup.

Because this little house of cards is going to burn down soon.

[–]Sendmeloveletters[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will never forget the “how could you let me do this? I trusted you” look my best friend gave me, moments after wedding his ex-wife.

In the words of this friend, whom I failed:

“If a man is younger than 30, it is your duty as his friend not to let him marry anyone. Especially if he says he loves her.”

If you don’t tell him, no one will. One day he will know the truth. It will be when you tell him, or when she shows him. If it is too late for him now, he will remember that you warned him and he ignored you and you will be forgiven. If you say nothing, will you forgive yourself?

[–]Mintopforte0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sugar momma

[–]I-am-ed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

well what if its true love?????? ;))))

lmao

[–]ngyuhnang0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There’s nothing you can really do about it sadly, him being beta also shouldn’t be the reason you ain’t going to be his best man. Be there for him when he needs you.

[–]mrjackoldman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yikes. Can you find some way to sabotage their relationship?

I know it's dirty, but if you really have the best interest of your friend at heart, that's the only way to save him.

[–]adeptintact0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sad for your friend. Give him a copy of the rational male book.

[–]Nis_law0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude. Make your intentions clear to him. That you don't agree with what he is doing but you'll support him and be his best man. You know how this ends, when it does, make sure to show him this sub and support him through thick n thin. It will be one of the best wedding gifts.

[–]ass-my-eat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That simp is about to be harvested.

[–]Herdsengineers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Attend the wedding, if he asks you to be best man, etc. do it.

That said, if he ever opens the door to your honest opinion of this decision, give it in. Don't give it in an asshole sort of way, but give it none the less. Just wait for him to open the door and indicate he's open to hearing it first.

[–]0kool740 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes there comes a time when you just have to cut people loose because their life is so toxic and low value. You know what's going to happen dude. This shit is gonna blow up and he's gonna get destroyed. And where's the first place he's gonna go? Right to your front door saying some bull shit like "I can't believe how this happened" and you have to pick up the pieces.

Now, you can do that if you want, but just realize that you're not required to subsidize a lack of intelligence. If he's that fucking stupid that he can't see this train wreck......yeah, me personally, I just can't associate with people that stupid.

[–]Andgelyo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LMAOOOO. The true sign of a beta male who has no options.

A friend of my mine is doing the same thing. Best of luck to the lesser men

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish him the very best!

[–]kfd_capital0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Theres a way to help your best friend if you get another buddy to assist, but you and that buddy's story better match.

[–]Haki_User0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

To be honest, what he expects of you is pretty clear.

He didn't tell you he's thinking of proposing and asked for your opinion, he told you after he proposed, which means he just wants you to be happy for HIS decision, and doesn't want your wise council.

Having said that. I think you should nevertheless talk to him, because if you don't you'll definitely regret it, just be smart about the words you choose. For example you can say it in the following way:

​

"Friend, I am really happy for you, and happy to have you a friend, I'll support you through whatever decisions you have to take throughout your life. But as a friend I'd expect from you to step in and tell me when I'm doing something that you don't think is good for me, and I will do the same.

I am happy that you are happy, however I believe that you have hastened up a little bit in this engagement. I don't think the age difference is an issue because that's a personal preference, I do think from experience of mine and experience of other people that 5 months is not enough time to get to know a person and make a decision as major as marriage, I'd advise you to take your time, live in the moment, enjoy your free love with this woman, and then after a year or so propose to her why not, just give it some more time before taking the big decision"

Yeah. Some shit like that. You see OP your are a surgeon operating on your sick best friend with a scalpel, you have to be careful while advising him not to make him defensive and not to wound him whilst delivering the advice you ought to deliver as a friend, in a friendly manner.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

this shit really is like unplugging from the matrix. As someone who has bathed in TRP for 5+ years your post doesn't even seem real to me. Sit him down and show him this shit, specifically try to find posts + rational male stuff about single mothers. Show him CoachRedPill too. If it doesn't "click" in his mind i dunno what to tell you. She's gonna trap him with a kid guaranteed if he doesn't snap out of it.

[–]fr33wh33l0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't really get the problem. He's happy? She's not mistreating him? All else is speculation. Keep an open mind and be happy for your friend.

[–]Ryabemo-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol....

[–]double_red-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just show him a picture of French president Macron with his mummified wife to make him see what it's going to happen to him.

Joking aside, from the moment you raised your concerns to him, she knows (women sense those things) and thinks of you as bad influence. Sooner or later she'll brainwash him into cutting all communication from you, not just choosing someone else as the best man for their wedding. You can't do anything to prevent that though. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

[–]thoughtful_duck[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh it’s worse than that. He’s so blindsided by what he’s doing that he actually told her about me warning him. Apparently one of her friends warned her too. ‘Us against the world’ in full force.

[–]double_red-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sad.

[–]AtlasCuckd-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In 6 years he'll bang one of the daughters. Nice catch

On a more serious note, if this guy was truly RP he'd be playing her to cash in on half of what this lady owns. It's a game the females play oh so well. Too bad we can be fucking idiots sometimes as men, like in this case here.

Be a friend, be there for him

[–]Throwawaytrptrp 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Be the best man? Yes

Attend the wedding? Yes

He’s your childhood buddy. No matter what his personal decisions are and if you think they’re right or wrong. Always support your friends.

You try to give him a warning? You’ll be the one who doesn’t want to see him happy.

Be a yes man here.

[–]fr33wh33l0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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