I can't seem to stop.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-05-21T13:21:45+00:00

What's been recommended to me by various people is that you need to replace some negative habit (vidya, facebook, etc.) with a positive one.

Get some OCD about having your room be immaculate. If it's a pile of filth now, do just three things: collect all the dirty dishes and take them to the kitchen (do absolutely nothing else with them, just take them to the kitchen). Then gather all the trash in your room and put it in plastic bags then take those out to the trash. Next, gather up your dirty clothes, put them in hampers, and any clean clothes, fold up and put away.

Anything else still taking up space on the floor: consider throwing it away.

Next, vacuum the floor, since it's finally free of clutter.

Other things to get OCD about: the keto diet and lifting or running.

These are things that can take up a lot of your time, if you let them. There's a runner's high and a lifter's high.

You can probably think of other actual goals you'd like to achieve. Work on those instead of just sitting around giving advice to random people on asktrp.

f*ck

Metalgear222 · 2019-05-21T14:49:40+00:00

As someone who played games at the competitive level you described, what worked best for me is to have a balance. I started by forcing myself to be out of the house on weekends for a minimum of 6 hours each day (not including work).

While it sucks that there’s very little activities that are as competitive as high tier gaming, the good news is we top tier gamers are good at just about anything we want to be good at. The thing I see we lack the most is social prowess and close male friends to do stuff with.

Both can be worked on at the same time. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. It doesn’t matter what you do, bonus points if you choose something where you can meet people. When an invite comes through from someone, FORCE YOURSELF TO TAKE IT. Video games will be there always, that invite will not.

This is just what helped me the most. I did do a full year cold turkey on games as well, but it didn’t stick. My competitive outlet had to be satiated and I had to be realistic about that. If you’re doing a lot of the shit you’re supposed to do (keep place clean, work hard, hit gym religiously, eating right, build relationships, getting out of the house, finding other passions and hobbies like rock climbing, playing drums, concerts, audiobooks, bowling, playing pool, hanging out at a popular pool; are some of mine), then there’s nothing wrong with enjoying an hour or 2 of games before bed or on Sunday morning.

It’s all about balance. Just make your life well rounded. Don’t put all your eggs in gaming. We both know where that leads.

EclipseMain · 2019-05-21T13:22:36+00:00

Hype yourself up for a day where you minimalize and get rid of distractions. You don't have to throw stuff away. Put what you don't want in a closet, and back up your game saves on a separate hard drive then detatch it from your computer and store it away.

Cravings are just addiction leaving your body. So if you want to do these distracting things again, you literally have to force yourself not to. It is agonizing as all hell but all the wants will go away eventually.

Don't do anything distracting. Don't leave room for that one entertaining thing you do hoping to get quick fixes from it. That doesn't happen. Once you play video games, you wanna play more and more and it ends up being a vicious cycle. Stay away from all of it.

Your brain very well could be messed up. These devices and the software for them are designed to give us constant irregular bursts of dopamine. I can't imagine that's a healthy thing for the brain. But whatever the side effects of that were, sitting around and doing nothing about it is never the answer.

StopGaming1234 · 2019-05-21T14:28:10+00:00

You 100% described me when I was 20 years old. This was actually the age I found the stopgaming subreddit and redpill. I was at the lowest of my life, skipping school, barely getting sleep. 7h+ a day was considered casual for me.

I knew I needed to change, I couldn't live my life like this anymore. It was or atleast seemed like an impossible task.

You probably get overwhelmed with all the information and things you can/should do.

Important is to START somewhere. It doesn't matter how little the start is. Baby steps still get you forward.

moltenw · 2019-05-21T16:59:07+00:00

So get addicted to things that are good for you and cold turkey never again do things that are shit for you.

Next.

rendezvous199 · 2019-05-21T13:29:59+00:00

You've described my life (excluding gaming)

Make writing daily your friend. I see it as you talking to yourself as another person and figuring stuff out.

It has helped me figure stuff out and work on it one day at a time.

Here's how you can start -

sit down for 5 minutes a day with a pen and a piece of paper
you don't have to write, just sit down
pay attention to your thoughts
write in whatever shape or form
make this a daily habit
gradually increase the time to 10 minutes, then 30 minutes and so on

Recommended read - Power of Now by Eckhard Tolle

usernameishardtomake · 2019-05-21T16:33:47+00:00

Hey bud, do you have a goal in your life? Like financially or career wise?

Twenty_league_boots · 2019-05-22T00:33:05+00:00

Constantly remind yourself: one minute of gaming is too much, and a million minutes will never be enough to satisfy you.

For you, it's a complete dead end. You have to pretend that they don't even exist. Move on. Billions of human beings throughout history have lived without video games and you can too.

Doesn't matter how boring life seems without them. That's what ALL addictions do...they make it seem as though life isn't worth living without them.

Man up and deal with it. Life is hard. Meet the challenge head on. Face the emptiness.

Soon_As_I_Nut · 2019-05-21T21:37:29+00:00

Start exercising a bunch.

Numero34 · 2019-05-21T21:46:02+00:00

Shape you environment t to make your bad habits even more difficult.

If you live with someone else, use a website blocker and let them set the password and agree upon a schedule.

If you're alone then you need to be more drastic and make it extremely hard for you to access these time-sucking activities.

montana12345 · 2019-05-23T08:42:14+00:00

Dude nothing is lost. I was like this 3 years ago. Playing all day and wasting time. Skipping school and so on. It all started to shift when i took a job which costs much time but where I learned a shit new things. I started going out and dating. I picked up weightlifting and started eating healthy and transforming myself. Get a job and pick up weightlifting. Moving out from home helped me a lot too. You need to get your shit together if you leave home.

Pickup a hobby. Never get bored! Start reading and always stay active. I find out that if I get bored I start playing to much again. So always keep yourself busy and strife for the best. Your life will change. The way people see you will change.

moltenw · 2019-05-21T13:33:10+00:00

It's important to consciously recognize that video games are MADE to be addictive and fun. BUT you need to realize that they are nothing but a fake sense of achievement and enjoyment. Replace it with hobbies that have real social aspects or that improve you in some way.

If you love WOW so much, think of yourself as a character. You spent 3 nights watching some other dude level up a non-existent character to being stronger... How many hours during those 3 days did you go to the gym and lift real iron to make yourself stronger?

Video games don't advance your life (mind/body/spirit)... just keep repeating that shit and go to the gym instead. Lift weights.

Also, if you are really addicted to strategy or competitive games then try finding a local 'board game cafe/bar' and meet real people. Channel your addiction into healthier things. If your too shy to do it.. then there is your first challenge. Work up the balls to meet with strangers and get to know them

OmniscientOCE · 2019-05-21T14:47:20+00:00

I've tried many things, I'm not even there 100% yet when it comes to avoiding all of these easy dopamine things. I'm still working on myself but I think this may be of some help. When it comes to video games and Nofap, the ONLY thing that has worked so far is filling up my day with activities, preferably not at home, such that I have no opportunity to even engage in them. If you want to succeed in quitting these then you also need to come home or be mentally or physically tired by evening so that you will desire sleep more than watching some dumb TV show or playing a match of LoL, etc.

I don't know much, and it's anecdotal so take it with a grain of salt but it's the only way that I've ever made in any progress. Affirmations, journalling, habit tracking apps, Chrome extensions, may help to resist a few urges, maybe save you for a day, but ultimately useless for quitting those bad habits imo. Stay busy with other shit. Get out of the house.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-05-21T16:18:51+00:00

"Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on"

You're still a kid. Not even old enough to drink (in the US).

I haven't touched an ounce of nicotine in all of 2019. This is the longest I've gone without nicotine since I was 16. I'm 24 now.

I tried everything to quit numerous times. I tried counting the days I went without a smoke. I tried patches and gum. I switched over to vaping but the reliability and discreetness of it made me even more addicted to nicotine.

For the last 2 years I was on a ruthless cycle of being smoke free on weekdays but always relapsing on the weekends. I'd spend a whole Sunday laying in bed draining a gas station e-cig that's equivalent to 2 packs of cigarettes. Wake up every Monday feeling like trash telling myself, "okay, that's it I'm done" followed by withdrawals for the first few days. I finally felt better by Thursday but by Friday I'd find myself bumming a cigarette or locking myself away in my room sucking on a pen.

What finally made me stop was finding out that I was going to be a father. Regardless of what the opinion on here is about having kids, I immediately relieved myself of any urge to smoke. My mind was overloaded with thoughts of business ideas, fitness goals, ambitions, etc. There was no room in my mind for urges or any drama that didn't matter.

I'm not saying you need to have a kid. I'm just saying that sometimes big changes in your life require big changes.

Maybe you need to move away somewhere else? Maybe you need to switch schools? Switch friends, etc.

comu_nacho · 2019-05-21T17:34:24+00:00

If hobbies aren't as enjoyable as good habits, at least change them for neutral ones. Watch hours of youtube, but seduction seminars, or social skills gurus, or how-to-fix-things channels, or try those "brain boosting" games, anything so that they leave something behind when you're done. Try combative sports, will fill some of that LOL release you miss. Or BMX.

Greaterbird · 2019-05-21T17:37:07+00:00

Wedge and Layer Method

Aka baby steps. The key to forming or breaking habits isn't going cold turkey or trying to jump in head first. Exceptional people can do that, but in me that just causes burnout. The approach I have the most success with is building a tiny easy-to-accomplish habit as a foundation, then building the real one on top of that. If you're failing, lower the bar until you can't fail anymore then gradually raise it back up.

Making habits. When I've been out of the gym for a while and want to rebuild the habit, but feel like I'm to tired to do anything (making excuses), I lower the bar to something that gets me into the locker room - showering. I'm paying for it anyways so I may as well have a shower after work. Then it turns out once I'm actually there routine usually takes over and I feel like working out after all. Easy. Before I had the routine in place, I did the same thing with actually work out - just bench press. Then after just doing bench press for a few sessions, add on another layer. These days my regular routine is doing push/pull splits four days a week. I haven't worked leg day in yet, but they're still decently built from earlier times.

Breaking habits. When I find myself doing things like impulsively eating too much, I find small parts of the habit I can focus on and dismantle. The first step is simply becoming self-aware of when I'm reaching for food by impulse and when I'm doing it with intent. The goal there is just to simply catch myself in the middle of an automatic action, set the food back down then turn it into an intentional act instead. Once that is rewritten, more layers can be added.

Mr_Badass · 2019-05-21T17:49:27+00:00

You might have a seratonin imbalance.

TFWnoLTR · 2019-05-21T18:07:33+00:00

I've felt this way too.

It's a long process, my dude. You recognize the problem, which is further than most people ever make it. You have to accept that change is gradual and habits take time to develop, and time to eliminate.

One thing working against you is the fact that you're young. Sure, youth is the best time to develop good habits, and you should continue your struggle. But one thing I've noticed as I get I to my 30s is that I've naturally lost the tolerance for more than a couple hours of sitting still, especially when it comes to video games and the internet. I mean, at this point reddit is something I almost exclusively do while taking a shit or waiting for a meeting.

You'll grow out of a good chunk of that drive to get that dopamine release as you mature. You'll also gain more perspective and see how silly your feelings of hopelessness you're feeling now are. Sure, they're real, but one day you'll look back and chuckle at the time you were young and almost gave up when the going got tough.

You're not going to give up though. You're going to embrace the struggle and fight every day to change your habits. You're going to feel despair, anxiety, depression, and exhaustion, but rather than give in you're going to embrace the suck and keep pushing.

You see, it's that will to keep pushing yourself even though you fail over and over that makes you a man. You are a man, you can and will be a better man.

drink_tea_with_me · 2019-05-21T20:21:26+00:00

I can definitely relate. For me, however, I am able to cold turkey everything at once. I will give up all of my vices at once (weed, alcohol, tobacco, porn/jacking off, YouTube). I can do this for months and everything starts going incredibly well. What always inevitably happens, though, is I convince myself I can introduce a vice back in moderation because I've been crushing life. 2 weeks later and I'm back to doing all of them again.

elf_knife_love · 2019-05-21T20:47:24+00:00

Disallow yourself from having those things. Don't want to play games ? Delete your steam account and uninstall all games from your computers.

Don't want to waste time on reddit/fb/insta/w.e block the website or specific pages using an extension... etc

However, it's much easier to get rid of addictive activities when you have something to do... so make sure you have something to focus on first, trying to be productive without a mission to focus on is not going to work. Trying to be productive with a shit mission (e.g: I want high grade in my {insert retarded major} and I want to bang a lot of college toths using dady's money), despite what many people here believe, is also potentially dangerous, so try finding an actual worthwhile mission (doesn't have to be finding a next gen antibiotic or working for spacex... but something decent, something that bring you money and makes your body & mind stronger).

magnimeelcul · 2019-05-21T21:05:56+00:00

Look, I think your post is wholesome, but realize it is just another variation of "will you please help me unfuck my life?". You are whining about the injustice. What you need is discipline, i.e. FORCING yourself to do something that you don't like in the short term, and then do it again and again until it becomes a routine. Nobody can do that for you.

Somebody else here once wrote something like this, which deeply stuck with me: no matter how bad your conditions are, there is only one question that is important - so what are you gonna do about it?

OffGrubkiller · 2019-05-21T21:56:34+00:00

Ages 8-17 video games 7+hr a day, summer all day if you could.

This hits right home man

Sendmeloveletters · 2019-05-21T22:42:20+00:00

You have to go on dopamine fasts. I turn my phone off for all of Sunday, at least once a month, often every week. You should also work on intermittent fasting, making sure you go 16 hours without eating (or at least 12) every day. And for the love of God make sure you meditate. We always talk about lifting, making your body stronger, but not enough is said about meditation, making your mind stronger.

Just learn to be ok with zero stimulation. It’s 100% non-optional for a pure experience.

TimSimply · 2019-05-21T23:34:27+00:00

Hey bud, I know that it seems like you are in a never-ending trap, but there is a way out. I used to have the same issues with gaming too much and I would always tackle the problem only to have it surface again, sometimes stronger than before.

During the downturns, I would game for 12 hour sessions on the weekends and all day after work or school and would not have a dedicated fitness/sleep schedule. My only friends would be other gamers who didn't want to go out on the weekends unless it was a LAN party. This resulted in gaming affecting my every day life and well being, therefore extending into my social life and health. Pretty much the consequences of any other addiction. Eventually, I would feel like shit, remember what it was like to have friends and a girlfriend, and be reminded of what I am missing on the outside in the real world.

This would motivate me to quit the gaming habit and start working out, eating healthy, socializing and eventually dating. This happened in high school, college, and dental school over and over again. I would always start a new chapter in my life as a gamer who didn't want anything to do with the meet-and-greet stages of a workplace/middle school/high school/ college and then a switch would flip after a year or so. I would realize the problem, conquer it, find real happiness and develop a good friend circle where I am a completely different person. Then (almost purposely) I would sabotage it because I have already satisfied my ego (that I can make friends and get laid) and then degenerate back into a loner thinking that is what I actually wanted since it was less stressful than managing the relationships or success that I had accomplished.

I know that this turned into a rant, but I think that the important question to tackle this is to find out what causes you to return to your gaming addiction? You have said it yourself that you quit successfully but then regress backwards into the easy dopamine spikes. Does the gaming habit start again when you feel that you are satiated socially, and desire some introvert time that ends up sucking you back in? Or does the habit come back full force when you feel that the real world is not worth the effort because its hopeless? Possibly both? These are the important questions to answer whenever you want to come up with an effective plan on preventing falling back.

Keep in mind that my history that I just gave is from back before I discovered TRP. Once I discovered this place, I was able to mentally articulate why I was always regressing back into a insta-dopamine gamer, even after achieving everything that I really wanted at the time. It took time to come to terms with the fact that gaming was just something that offered no benefit.

The answer was right in front of me all along, and its right in front of you. The less gaming, or other insta-dopamine activities that you do, the more fulfilled you will be. The delayed dopamine is always better than the instant stuff. When you start getting results from quitting gaming, don't fall back into it. Just don't. You're going to want to because your brain is telling you that its okay now since you made progress in life! Then before you know it a year passes by, you're on your 10th hour of playing WoW and when you look in the mirror on your way to the fridge for your 4th code red you see the abomination of gaming addiction.

Coming out of a gaming addiction is like coming out of a social coma. All of the time that has passed during that period you now have to play catch-up with because you haven't been practicing and your SMV has sharply declined. It's like building a house, burning it down and then trying to rebuild it with the old materials, but those are now useless. Instead of upgrading and maintaining your house, you now have to start from scratch.

thisisnotme__-- · 2019-05-22T00:05:31+00:00

Learn to forgive yourself and just keep trying.

lotrlotr14 · 2019-05-22T00:08:16+00:00

Read the book The Slight Edge

SlimShady678 · 2019-05-22T02:35:13+00:00

I am 20 and this is literally the problem im dealing with. If you wanna pm me, maybe we can work together in solving this shit

chenshuiluke · 2019-05-22T02:40:52+00:00

I would recommend using the Freedom app which can be found at freedom.to

Basically, you create blocklists and create recurring sessions where apps/websites/programs/games defined in those blocklists cannot be opened. There is even a way to tell Freedom to block taskmanager from opening during a session to prevent you from using it to close Freedom during a session.

BurnoutRS · 2019-05-22T03:37:11+00:00

your vocabulary contains alot of "cant's" which are really just "wont's"

Here's a familiar scenario for you: you've set a time limit for how long you can play video games, the limit approaches and you begin to worry about whether you're going to stop or not. a thought pops into your mind like "come on we've gotta beat this thing" which is followed by a "what if I dont? oh god what if I cant?"

the clock ticks down the final seconds before 10:00, your predetermined cutoff time rolls around. You look to the tv and realize its 10 and you are still playing. You havent stopped "my god, Im an addict!" and then you binge for 2 more days

moltenw · 2019-05-22T05:54:18+00:00

Your question?

NoFaithInThisSub · 2019-05-22T06:08:25+00:00

get some goals in your life.

you lifting?

moltenw · 2019-05-22T11:57:17+00:00

try Kaizen

Greeborox · 2019-05-23T08:39:27+00:00

Watching streamers tends to be a substitute for real life social interactions. Your brain views the streamer as your close friend bc you know so much about him. It's not about the game but about the person playing it. It's like porn but for having a friend and all that comes with friendship. That's kinda sad, if that's not a cold shower idk what is. So... go out more with your rl mates?

organicfluxx · 2019-05-24T12:19:12+00:00

Not all men can win. Some are just too autistic to succeed. It's not the individuals fault, society just doesn't have a role for all men.

kcmahip · 2019-05-21T14:26:01+00:00

Based on your comment where you mentioned you're/ were top 0.1%, ever deciding going pro? If you're good at it, generate revenue by streaming or playing tournaments? Just my perspective. Nothing red pill since your question isn't even related to TRP.

menial_optimist · 2019-05-21T19:05:22+00:00

Using electronics can and is addictive. Gaming is addictive because of the flashing lights and relaxed escape you get. Surfing social media and the internet is just as bad for you. It's no different than watching TV. It's proven your brain goes into an altered state when you watch tv for more than a few minutes. The same is true I believe on electronic devices.

How do I know this is true? I used to game/surf the internet 6-12 hours a day (if I wasn't out). Then I traveled across the country and stayed with my grandparents for 3 weeks. No internet, no computer, no phone. By the end of the 3 weeks I did feel better and more productive. An hour after I landed back in my home town I updated my resume and handed it in to a local mcdonalds which hired me that same day. This is signifcant because I had used eletronics to escape my depression so greatly to the point where I would procrastinate on ANYTHING productive. The 3 weeks allowed me to detox and I had no problem getting shit done when I got back.

person8445 · 2019-05-21T22:01:56+00:00

Set the bar lower and lower.

Stop playing video games from 6pm till 7pm every day. Thats all.

Then 2 hours.

Or 1 day a week.

Keep escalating.