Red Pill (borderline black pill) man here
After all this time I think I’ve narrowed what a good, functional relationship is supposed to be like. This captain/first mate analogy that is used her works well, as well as acknowledging that the man and woman are both in it together as a duo.
But I have reservations about it. I feel like it’s missing something...
This pervasive statement has always been following me: “I feel like I was more his mom than his girlfriend” “I’m not your mom/therapist”
I never understood what redpill men meant when they said that women can’t love you the way your mother did. I never knew because my mother never showed love to me. She was always working, to support two kids, all on her own. So she was never around. But I finally understand now what they mean when they say that. Mother’s care for their sons. They will kneel down and hold their kid as they come crying after tripping into the gravel and kiss their booboos. Later they would give them a hug and listen to them patiently as they went through their puberty-induced mood swings. Then college and so on and so on.
I can get why a girlfriend/fiancée/wife would not want to have to treat their husband like that. It’s a chore.
But honestly? I would do that for her. I want a marriage where I can come home after work and flop down on the bed and rest my head on her chest while she scratches my head and, just, unload, for lack of a better word. Someone who listens when I’m upset and comforts me when I’m crying. I don’t care if it’s unmanly. I served in the army, I don’t have anything to prove. And then in turn when she’s a big bundle of emotions I’d be more than happy to gather her up in my arms and, just hold her. It’s a labor, yes. But it’s a labor of love. I always saw it as, if she wasn’t willing to listen to me when I was upset, she never loved me. That’s where the average redpill man would say ‘yep, she never loved you. Go spin a plate’
That’s why I don’t really go there, anymore. Women are of sounder mind than theredpill make them out to be. But at the same time, it provides a safe space to talk about inconvenient gender truths that can’t otherwise be talked about outside of the manosphere. Truths like hypergamy and polygamy. So I guess that’s why I’m at this sub specifically. You girls tend to be understanding but at the same time you seem to know what you’re talking about.
Anyways. I consider myself a masculine man. By no means am I a chad. I am 23, slender runner build. I’m a lightweight but I’m stronger than I look. I’m working hard for a vision I have superimposed over the world around me, and each day I see the colors of that vision filling in the grey around me.
But I’ve got baggage. Like, a lot of baggage. So much that I can’t fit it into this post.
The point is, I strongly believe a relationship can only truly be symbiotic if I could open up that pain to the other person and they just... I dunno, acknowledge it? We never can find a word for it, can we? Being vulnerable to someone, opening up, etc.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. You probably fantasize about it. I know I do.
I know having to emotionally reaffirm your captain is not something that would fit into your ideal relationship. But for me, personally, I need something along the lines of that in order to trust someone. And here’s a secret, we’re all barely holding ourselves together just as much as you women are. One small misstep and most of us are on our way off a twenty story bridge into a canal.
This is coming off as more of a rant than a coherent post, but in my experience, you all seem to alieve my worrisome questions. In order for me to love someone, I have to emotionally trust them. In order to emotionally trust them, I have to know I can rely on their tender love and affection when I’m in a dark state of mind. Of course I would have my own obligations to fill as well.
But in closing, is this asking for too much?
[–]EliteBodSquad35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link