You have read a lot of theory about the nature of women (hypergamy, hypoagency, rationalization, etc) and game and so on, but some newbies may benefit from a step by step guide to actually swallowing the pill
Step 1: Lifting
Posture Before you start lifting, you need to make sure your posture is OK. If not, you risk pinched nerves, bad form and injury. Your posture is poor because you have poor habits. In particular:
One shoulder lower than the other: Typically right handed folks have their right shoulder below their left. This is caused by higher development of the right breast muscle compared to the left and weak back muscles. The instructions below assume your right shoulder is lower. If your left shoulder is lower, swap the words left and right below
To fix this, stand with your left shoulder near a door jamb or pole. Raise your right arm all the way up. Bend it at the elbow so that it makes a right angle. Grab the door jamb or pole and stretch. You can put your right foot ahead. Hold for 20 seconds. This should temporarily fix your shoulder imbalance. You now need to do side and front shoulder raises with dumbbells (not a barbell). You should also do chest flys to develop your chest muscles. Start with the lowest weight possible. In the beginning, they will feel too light. As you increase the weight bit by bit, you will notice that its harder for your left side. You should continue to exercise at this weight until both sides find it equally hard. From here on, when you increase weight, they should feel equally hard.
Head Forward position/Kiphosis: Generally caused by sitting for hours in front of a TV/computer. Fix it using this technique https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT_dFRnmdGs
Lardosis: You need to stretch your lower back and strengthen your abs. The best way to strengthen abs is to walk up an incline (on a treadmill for example) or to suck your abdomen in and out.
Once your posture is good, you can start on a beginner program such as stronglift 5x5 or starting strength.
Your first few months with the above will probably result in better posture that you can hold due to improved posterior chain. You may appear taller and more confident.
Over time, you will have improved strength and start to add muscle.
Rookie curl-bro mistakes you avoid by starting with large compound exercises:
- Focusing on curls and only exercising the muscles you can see in the mirror. You will lose all kinds of proportionality and will look uglier as you grow.
- Undertraining chest and overtraining triceps
- Neglecting shoulders in favor of biceps.
Step 2: Style
Until your posture is fixed from step 1 above, you should not be investing in new clothes. If you are a fat bastard, you should wait until your pants slip off and even then only buy modestly until you think you have relatively flat abs. Then you can go shopping. Try different brands and see what looks good on you. If you are lucky, a cheap "factory outlet" type brand such as Tommy Hilfiger will look good on you and you can restock your wardrobe for a couple of hundred. If buying short sleeved T-shirts and shirts, best to wait till your arms are big enough that the sleeves are snug. Until your chest is the widest part of your body when viewed from the side, no clothes will make you look good. Make your interests and lifestyle part of your style. Do you go motor-cycling every weekend with your buddies? You should go for a biker jacket. Do you hang out with your investment broker friends at high class nyc bars? Wear expensive suits. Are you a mechanic? Jeans and T shirt. This is something for you to figure out on your own, do not copy your buddy. Be an individual. In the beginning, a newer style may make you feel conscious. Gradually add new clothes and stop wearing the old clothes. You will need to wear your new style a few times before you feel natural and comfortable in it. After a few days you wont even feel like wearing the old clothes anymore.
Step 3: Mission
You need a mission in your life. Think about it this way: If you die in the next year, how would you want people to remember you? As a great writer? A political activist? A musician? You need something to work on, something you would contribute to the world. Not everyone will be a world-changing agent but you need to find something that you are very passionate about. Ever heard of Khan academy? His passion is just to teach. He has risen above the millions of teachers who teach for a paycheck. Any mission is awesome if you have the passion for it. Your mission is how you see yourself and how others see you. It is how you meet people who have interests aligned with you. Your mission enables you to enlarge your social circle and improve your social circle game. Choose it with care.
Step 4: Frame
Frame is simply your idea of yourself. Are you a cool, confident, fun, awesome person? Are you witty and intellectual? You need to develop alpha characteristics in your frame such as stoicness, abundance mentality and high value. Step 1-3 above and your characteristics as you see yourself feed into your frame. Make sure its clean. In particular, you need to weed out anything bitchy out of your frame. Many shit-tests are simply integrity tests of your frame. Did you get upset when she said she does not like men under 6 feet tall? There goes your frame of being cool in the face of stress. Feel the need to demand explanation for her flaking on a date? Your abundance frame just dissolved.
Step 5: Game
There are entire manosphere you can read about game but almost all of it can be concisely boiled down to 16 commandments of poon
My experience regarding dealing with women in your social circle is simple:
- Until you have high value, don't even bother talking to women. Go into monk mode and work on yourself. You will know you are high SMV when multiple women open you (talk to you of their own volition, smile at you, etc). Low value men are invisible to women. Low value men who try to game/hit on them are creepy according to their definition
- Once you have high value, the simplest thing to do is to wait for a woman to notice you and open you. These will be least effort/least shit-tests.
- If you have noticed a woman and she seems to have not noticed you, you can boldly go over and introduce yourself. I have never needed any pickup lines/opinion openers/negs or any of the usual PUA BS. Just go over and introduce yourself and make some small talk. The only thing I'd add is DON'T COMPLIMENT HER. She hasn't earned it. After this, you should just ignore her. She may open you or you can talk more if you run into each other. If you see increased friendliness, you should simply ask her out.
Step 6: Dominance
You need to dominate your woman physically (lift, mofo, lift!) mentally (you are smarter than a woman, right?), emotionally (be stoic, bro), and sexually (escalate). You also need to dominate the relationship (no supplication, no compliments unless its for something she did to please you) and sex acts (read Daniel Rose's Sex God method). Eventually as you get closer, you can occasionally break these rules. Remember LTRs require some amount of tenderness and support.
Step 7: Maintenance
As a TRP male, you need to constantly get better. When you stagnate, the lack of change will bore your woman and she will be susceptible to her innate hypergamy. Learn new things and surprise yourself and her all the time.